Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: VonMessa on November 16, 2009, 12:44:10 PM
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Please list a fictitious or humorous reason for missing a day of work and its definition
I'll start....
Anal Glaucoma (I can't see my arse going to work, today)
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FSO (can't miss the epic GV battle)
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FSO (can't miss the epic GV battle)
Love it. :rofl
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I have my CDL licece..
Can't Do Labor
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I have a dang operation today. It's on a stupid out patient basis. The brain dead doctors call it a Rectomology. It's an dang operation where they sever the chord running from my stunninghunk to my eyeballs so I don't have such a sh**y outlook on life. I should be in tomorrow. Dang it.
If some idiot needs me to come in today, I can cancel my dang operation...
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Uh, boss? I'm just calling to let you know I can't come in today, due to some eye problems I'm experiencing. I just can't see coming to work...
Uh, boss? I'm just calling to let you know I can't come in, due to some heart problems I'm experiencing. I just don't have the heart to work today...
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Uhhh boss I'm not able to work today. They are doing an anal cranal inversion, yeah they are removing my head from my arse.
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Well for me it depends on what category we're going for...
Pathetic but true : "There is a half an inch of snow on the ground, how am I supposed to get to work!?" (Only in the District of Columbia) :lol
Annoying but true : "Hey boss, I'm still in Philadelphia airport. " (2 days later...) :furious
Sad but true : "My brother was shot this morning on the way to school." (Led an urban development program in north-east Rochester NY, one of my employees/teens said this) :(
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"I have a hops infection." (ie. hangover)
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Show me all your good excuses but dont show them to me. My boss will see them at the same time so they wont work. I just can't win :cry
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While i work from home ( Insurance adjuster) I call in now and then ( I have LOTS of vacation time ) and take a MHD
Mental Health Day :D
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My girlfreind got hit by a car......wait just wishful thinking :uhoh
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My father keeps threatening to call in to work dead. And then mention that he could return in about 3 days. :D
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This. (http://www.spaceflightnow.com/shuttle/sts129/status.html)
EDIT:
Pathetic but true : "There is a half an inch of snow on the ground, how am I supposed to get to work!?" (Only in the District of Columbia) :lol
No, we get away with that one too...
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Sorry boss I'm drunk.
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The wife is going to get pregnant,and I want to be there when it happens..
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I suffer from EBFSL Syndrome
Easily bored F-ng S-less
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I thought I wanted to work today, but I was wrong.
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I'm my own boss :D
On second thought.....the missus.
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Two I've actually used before I was in my own business.
"Hi I'm just calling to to let you know Im taking a sick of work day." (also known as the "native American" disease "Lackawannawork"
"Hi, I'm calling in to take a sick day. I've got a bad case of bassitus"
"Bassitus? whats that?
"Well, its an affliction of the right shoulder,elbow and left wrist. It can only be cured by spending 8 hours in a boat or standing on a shoreline with a fishing pole repeatedly casting into the water and reeling back in."
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I'm my own boss :D
On second thought.....the missus.
Me too.
I've fired myself several times. But I keep showing up the next day
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Employee - I'm not gonna make it in today, I have a partial case of the flu.
Boss - Don't you mean mild case of the flu?
Employee - No, it's like the flu, but without the L
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My father keeps threatening to call in to work dead. And then mention that he could return in about 3 days. :D
One of these days I'm gonna do that!
I've actually never missed a day of work, (I need the money so badly I show up rain or shine, sick or well).
But these are all hilarious! Thanks, now the people in starbucks think im nuts!
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This is a real excuse i used on my Boss, Called them up at 8pm the night before my next work day and told them i just bought a MasterCraft ProStar off EBay, it was down in San Jose Cali, well i live in Central Oregon, before i could even ask them for the day off, they told me have a nice trip and did i need any extra cash for the trip, told them thank you but i got it, drove 20 hours straight down and back, i swear I've never been that tired in my Life I'm getting to old for that anymore lol, Next scheduled day back i took the boat to work ( i work at a Resort on the Lake) and took them out after my shift to thank them for giving me the time off.
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This is a real excuse i used on my Boss, Called them up at 8pm the night before my next work day and told them i just bought a MasterCraft ProStar off EBay, it was down in San Jose Cali, well i live in Central Oregon, before i could even ask them for the day off, they told me have a nice trip and did i need any extra cash for the trip, told them thank you but i got it, drove 20 hours straight down and back, i swear I've never been that tired in my Life I'm getting to old for that anymore lol, Next scheduled day back i took the boat to work ( i work at a Resort on the Lake) and took them out after my shift to thank them for giving me the time off.
Sounds like a great employer!
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This is a real excuse i used on my Boss, Called them up at 8pm the night before my next work day and told them i just bought a MasterCraft ProStar off EBay, it was down in San Jose Cali, well i live in Central Oregon, before i could even ask them for the day off, they told me have a nice trip and did i need any extra cash for the trip, told them thank you but i got it, drove 20 hours straight down and back, i swear I've never been that tired in my Life I'm getting to old for that anymore lol, Next scheduled day back i took the boat to work ( i work at a Resort on the Lake) and took them out after my shift to thank them for giving me the time off.
Its amazing how few employers understand the value of a bit of give and take.
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Thanks, they are great employers and they treat me like there family, These are the kind of people that would give you the shirt off there back, and ask for nothing in return, just be honest and work hard and do your best, Ive been working at the Resort since i moved to central oregon about 7 years now. lol boy the stories i could tell you about working at a resort :O
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Its amazing how few employers understand the value of a bit of give and take.
Sure they do.......... :noid
I GIVE them 50-60 hours o my life every week
They TAKE it for granted.
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Boss, im taking the day off to explore more options.
One time near Christmas my family was going to Colorado (this was when I was 17) I wanted to go, so I go up to the supervisor that does the schedules and asked for the week of christmas off.
He said, no thats not fair for the other employees.
I then told him "Frank, look, im going to Colorado, you can schedule me if you want but you better be sure you have a replacement cause I will not show up to work. I promise you, getting fired cause im going on a snowboarding trip for a week is the best damn reason to get fired I can think of, and I will still sleep soundly at night."
This was when I was working at Kroger in the Customer Service Dept.
Safe to say, I got the week off :D
Do I feel bad about this? NO! Hell I have a life to live, not a life to work.
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Thanks, they are great employers and they treat me like there family, These are the kind of people that would give you the shirt off there back, and ask for nothing in return, just be honest and work hard and do your best, Ive been working at the Resort since i moved to central oregon about 7 years now. lol boy the stories i could tell you about working at a resort :O
What ya waiting for.....get yer own thread goin!
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http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2008/10/23/1224351397415.html
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http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2008/10/23/1224351397415.html
Professional natural selection never fails to amaze me.
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I'm so sorry i couldn't come to work today boss, I tried out for American idol, but afterward i went home weeping in shame.
2nd come up with a long confusing sentence to confuse your boss. I used this on one of my teachers at school.
"Im sorry, My Moms 1st brother's 2nd sisters son died" (That's me!)
Use at your own risk.
"Sorry boss, I went flying today"
"Flying!?!?! why the hell would you go flying? you got a job to do!!!"
"Oh yea, i work for an airline now, thanks!"