Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: SCTusk on August 02, 2010, 08:48:07 PM

Title: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: SCTusk on August 02, 2010, 08:48:07 PM
Pre-flight considerations:

1. Pilots are instructed to empty pockets of any loose change, keys etc prior to flying. Since the arrival of the Camel ground troops at the front have complained of a rise in shrapnel wounds from such objects.

2. Due to reports of the a/c breaking up in flight it is suggested that fuel loadout should consist of sufficient for the task at hand and no more. Therefore calculate fuel usage as per the following:

   fuel loadout = fuel to combat area + 30 seconds

3. Take your time prior to take off and complete a thorough pre-flight check. Statistics show that an extra 10 minutes spent on pre-flight checks increases the life expectancy of a Camel pilot by up to 10 minutes.

4. Keep a detailed pilots' log book of your sortie/s. If possible obtain one of the German log books - it already has a column titled 'Camels Destroyed'.

5. Pack a lightweight overnight bag for storage under your seat. It should contain a robust pair of hiking boots, emergency food and water, a medical kit and a fireproof container for your dogtags. For first time Camel pilots a fireproof container for your dogtags will suffice.

6. Wear a stout pair of underpants with reinforced gussets and double layer seat covering if possible.

7. Make or have made for you a simple periscope (a mirror on a long stick will suffice) for easy sighting of the enemy during combat.

Flying the Camel:

1. Keep a soft crash site within easy gliding distance in view at all times. Bushes and trees are excellent for this purpose.

2. Fly as much as possible with the engine switched off. This will enable you to hear any approaching enemy aircraft, and to locate them by sound. If you are unable to locate them by sound remember the 6 by 6 Rule: count to six and the enemy will now be at your 6 o'clock.

3. Due to General Staff concerns about cowardice parachutes will not be issued. However the Camel has an inbuilt safety feature, in the event of cowardice simply stall the aircraft wings level and it will descend gently in what the designers have called a 'parachute stall'. Always execute this manoeuvre over soft dense foliage ( see item 1 above ) and only when properly equipped with stout underpants (see item 6 Pre-flight considerations). Failure to do so may result in invasive incursions of branches and twigs into the pilots' bottom.

4. If you are unable (or unwilling) to induce a parachute stall there is a further failsafe option in the event of cowardice: the service revolver as issued to Camel pilots has a reputation for spontaneous self discharging at altitude. Located in the webbing side holster this characteristic has caused numerous wounds to the right foot of Camel pilots, who are then forced to withdraw from the fight and seek medical intervention. Therefore exercise extreme caution when wearing your service revolver prior to combat, and carry along some gauze to staunch the flow of blood (I pre-pack my boot prior to flight).

5. The Camel has several important flight characteristics which should be studied and committed to memory:
   
   Do NOT attempt to turn the aircraft while diving.
   Do NOT attempt to dive the aircraft while turning.
   The aircraft is incapable of out diving the enemy.   
   The aircraft is incapable of out climbing the enemy.
   The aircraft is incapable of out turning the enemy.
   The aircraft is incapable of out running the enemy.
   The aircraft only carries half the ammunition as the enemy.
   
6. Do not be dismayed by the aforementioned flight characteristics; the Camel was designed with one manoeuvre in mind: the Gyroscopic Turn!  Anthony Fokker attempted to copy this feature in the Dr1 but all he could manage was a double rate right hand yawing turn. The Camel however performs this manoeuvre superbly, as follows:

   1. Bank right 30 degrees (any speed)
   2. Pull back on the stick while kicking opposite (left) rudder

The aircraft will 'snatch' its' right wing as if struck by a telegraph pole, and immediately enter a vicious spin to the right. Success! You have spun around faster than a Dr1! (do not attempt this manoeuvre below 10 thousand feet)

7. The Camel has insufficient lift/power for adequate combat performance above 10 thousand feet.

8. Keep your emotions under control during combat; in particular do not direct your disgust at the Dr1... save it for the Camel.

I hope other Camel pilots find these tips useful. If not send complaints to SCTusk, Smoking Wreckage, Halfway Forest, No Mans' Land.        
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: wojo71 on August 02, 2010, 09:33:25 PM
This may be the best post I have ever read. :lol :lol
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: StokesAk on August 02, 2010, 09:48:04 PM
 :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: froger on August 03, 2010, 12:53:55 AM
 :eek:
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Yeager on August 03, 2010, 12:58:50 AM
Actually pretty thoughtful.  Nerf the Dr1  :t
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: meandog on August 03, 2010, 06:59:07 AM
ROFL ... YOU JUST REALLY CRACK ME UP TUSK...LOVE THE POST  :banana:
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Greebo on August 03, 2010, 08:01:45 AM
I think there was a "Post of the year" award on AH BBS this would be a contender.  :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Oldman731 on August 03, 2010, 08:55:53 AM
I think there was a "Post of the year" award on AH BBS this would be a contender.  :rofl

Agreed.  Well done.

- oldman
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: SlapShot on August 03, 2010, 12:07:16 PM
 :rofl ... brilliant !!!
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Soulyss on August 03, 2010, 12:16:34 PM
 :rofl

Thanks, this just made my morning. :)
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Lepape2 on August 03, 2010, 12:17:17 PM
I wish there was a bow smiley. Made my day  :D
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: VonMessa on August 03, 2010, 01:01:39 PM
 :rofl

Well done  :aok
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: mbailey on August 03, 2010, 02:36:03 PM
 :aok :aok

Great post sir!!!
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Shuffler on August 03, 2010, 03:02:32 PM
Always be careful around them as they spit and can bite really hard.

Watch where you step.
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Rhah on August 03, 2010, 03:09:44 PM
 :rofl great post Tusk

Sticky?  :D
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Jayhawk on August 03, 2010, 03:13:45 PM
I was actually expecting some real advice on WWI flight, my disappointment was quickly replaced by laughing out loud here at the barber shop. This is by far the best thread I've read in a long time
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Qrsu on August 03, 2010, 03:20:21 PM
Chuckling the whole way through but this part is where I laughed out loud:

Quote
6. Do not be dismayed by the aforementioned flight characteristics; the Camel was designed with one manoeuvre in mind: the Gyroscopic Turn!  Anthony Fokker attempted to copy this feature in the Dr1 but all he could manage was a double rate right hand yawing turn. The Camel however performs this manoeuvre superbly, as follows:

   1. Bank right 30 degrees (any speed)
   2. Pull back on the stick while kicking opposite (left) rudder

The aircraft will 'snatch' its' right wing as if struck by a telegraph pole, and immediately enter a vicious spin to the right. Success! You have spun around faster than a Dr1! (do not attempt this manoeuvre below 10 thousand feet)

7. The Camel has insufficient lift/power for adequate combat performance above 10 thousand feet.

Good stuff!  :aok
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Wiley on August 03, 2010, 03:56:02 PM
Gold all the way through, Tusk.  Well done!

#3 was my personal favorite.

Wiley.
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Mano on August 03, 2010, 04:25:12 PM
Good thread Tusk  <S> Humor goes a long way in WWI cyber-aviation

I recently put my Dr1 in the hangar because the paint job was starting to show some of the usual wear and tear,
the Oberusel sounds like it needs an overhaul, and my Spandau machine guns are long overdue for replacement.

Now I know for certain I am not wasting my time learning to fly the Camel.

 :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: 715 on August 03, 2010, 04:37:28 PM
Tusk: thanks so much for that post, it was hilarious and very well written.   :aok
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: phatzo on August 05, 2010, 02:39:59 AM
LOL Tusk, they breed a good sense of humour down in S.A.  The Crows, Port Power  :bolt:
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: 4deck on August 05, 2010, 08:33:09 AM
 :aok :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: onerka on August 06, 2010, 01:09:23 PM
Snoopy...a great illustrator....the post, and you have a half hour show! ...pretty talented post it is! Fun read for sure.

Thank you!

One
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: SCTusk on August 07, 2010, 04:34:46 AM
......cough (bows)

I'd like to thank everyone for the friendly response.... special thanks to my old maths teacher Mr Fletcher for the daily thrashing with a cane (the inspiration and prototype application of my patented Stout Underpants). Thanks also to my old Flight Instructor who taught me how to cuss and egress an aircraft rapidly after a mishap. And to Bob Macintosh of the Cunnamulla Pipes and Drums for his countless hours of patient instruction on the Scottish bagpipes - you can't actually blow out a doped canvas fire but having the extra puff gives you hope, and something to do while the altitude unwinds.   
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: CAP1 on October 15, 2010, 10:43:38 AM
Pre-flight considerations:

1. Pilots are instructed to empty pockets of any loose change, keys etc prior to flying. Since the arrival of the Camel ground troops at the front have complained of a rise in shrapnel wounds from such objects.

2. Due to reports of the a/c breaking up in flight it is suggested that fuel loadout should consist of sufficient for the task at hand and no more. Therefore calculate fuel usage as per the following:

   fuel loadout = fuel to combat area + 30 seconds

3. Take your time prior to take off and complete a thorough pre-flight check. Statistics show that an extra 10 minutes spent on pre-flight checks increases the life expectancy of a Camel pilot by up to 10 minutes.

4. Keep a detailed pilots' log book of your sortie/s. If possible obtain one of the German log books - it already has a column titled 'Camels Destroyed'.

5. Pack a lightweight overnight bag for storage under your seat. It should contain a robust pair of hiking boots, emergency food and water, a medical kit and a fireproof container for your dogtags. For first time Camel pilots a fireproof container for your dogtags will suffice.

6. Wear a stout pair of underpants with reinforced gussets and double layer seat covering if possible.

7. Make or have made for you a simple periscope (a mirror on a long stick will suffice) for easy sighting of the enemy during combat.

Flying the Camel:

1. Keep a soft crash site within easy gliding distance in view at all times. Bushes and trees are excellent for this purpose.

2. Fly as much as possible with the engine switched off. This will enable you to hear any approaching enemy aircraft, and to locate them by sound. If you are unable to locate them by sound remember the 6 by 6 Rule: count to six and the enemy will now be at your 6 o'clock.

3. Due to General Staff concerns about cowardice parachutes will not be issued. However the Camel has an inbuilt safety feature, in the event of cowardice simply stall the aircraft wings level and it will descend gently in what the designers have called a 'parachute stall'. Always execute this manoeuvre over soft dense foliage ( see item 1 above ) and only when properly equipped with stout underpants (see item 6 Pre-flight considerations). Failure to do so may result in invasive incursions of branches and twigs into the pilots' bottom.

4. If you are unable (or unwilling) to induce a parachute stall there is a further failsafe option in the event of cowardice: the service revolver as issued to Camel pilots has a reputation for spontaneous self discharging at altitude. Located in the webbing side holster this characteristic has caused numerous wounds to the right foot of Camel pilots, who are then forced to withdraw from the fight and seek medical intervention. Therefore exercise extreme caution when wearing your service revolver prior to combat, and carry along some gauze to staunch the flow of blood (I pre-pack my boot prior to flight).

5. The Camel has several important flight characteristics which should be studied and committed to memory:
   
   Do NOT attempt to turn the aircraft while diving.
   Do NOT attempt to dive the aircraft while turning.
   The aircraft is incapable of out diving the enemy.   
   The aircraft is incapable of out climbing the enemy.
   The aircraft is incapable of out turning the enemy.
   The aircraft is incapable of out running the enemy.
   The aircraft only carries half the ammunition as the enemy.
   
6. Do not be dismayed by the aforementioned flight characteristics; the Camel was designed with one manoeuvre in mind: the Gyroscopic Turn!  Anthony Fokker attempted to copy this feature in the Dr1 but all he could manage was a double rate right hand yawing turn. The Camel however performs this manoeuvre superbly, as follows:

   1. Bank right 30 degrees (any speed)
   2. Pull back on the stick while kicking opposite (left) rudder

The aircraft will 'snatch' its' right wing as if struck by a telegraph pole, and immediately enter a vicious spin to the right. Success! You have spun around faster than a Dr1! (do not attempt this manoeuvre below 10 thousand feet)

7. The Camel has insufficient lift/power for adequate combat performance above 10 thousand feet.

8. Keep your emotions under control during combat; in particular do not direct your disgust at the Dr1... save it for the Camel.

I hope other Camel pilots find these tips useful. If not send complaints to SCTusk, Smoking Wreckage, Halfway Forest, No Mans' Land.        

dude./.....i flew the camel in the ava this past week.

you sir have just made my day!! :rofl :aok :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: captain1ma on October 15, 2010, 10:51:39 AM
my god thats funny!!  :aok
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Dichotomy on October 15, 2010, 10:58:50 AM
as a recent victim of attempting to 'fly' the Camel all I can say is ... WELL SPOKEN SIR!!!  :lol
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Soulyss on October 15, 2010, 11:12:39 AM
as a recent victim of attempting to 'fly' the Camel all I can say is ... WELL SPOKEN SIR!!!  :lol

I've come to the conclusion that you can't really"fly" the Camel, all you can do is try to put off the crash for as long as possible.  :)
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: 68ZooM on October 15, 2010, 11:31:47 AM
after flying the camel last night i would have to agree with this post  :rofl  i flew it's poor little wings off last night ( literally)  knife turns thru small openings in the trees, thru barns in a single bound, and after some intense fighting i would have to say the german planes just out turned ya, best way i found was to get on the deck and blend in with the trees :joystick:  my k/d was like 1 for 4 and i flew that camel on the edge of rips and tears lol
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Mano on October 15, 2010, 11:52:03 AM
68Zoom

Keep flying the Camel. It gets better. After about 2 thousand sorties, even the slow learners like me figure
out how to keep the wings on in a tight fight. It should not be able to turn to the left real tight, but it does.
According to HiTech the rotary effect is fully modeled. I may not agree with him but I'm glad he went to the
trouble to make us WWI fanatics some planes to fly. Hopefully there will be a few new rides down the road
to add more variety and numbers to the arena.

<S>
Mano

btw
I flew in the Axis vs Allied Arena last night. That is allot of fun. The short range of the icons really
makes it difficult and fun to find those sneaky cons   :D
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: onerka on October 15, 2010, 12:24:25 PM
Have been in the a vs a arena the past few nights...our most reliable wing mate (Dr pilot) was forced to fly a camel.  We retained a sense of humor, even a "stiff upper lip".  It was needed.  After a significant streak of deaths a con crashed under me!  What the heck, the start of a streak.  A few people have put in the time to learn to fly the beast...but only a very few.  And, they are good.  Must have taken more hours than most of us have.  

Dreaming of a Spad 7, regardless it has only a single gun, for any A vs. A situation.  It has been fun, guess that is always the bottom line...had a good time and enjoy not seeing enemy icons.

One
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: CAP1 on October 15, 2010, 12:46:50 PM
one of the cool things here.....at least i know it wasn't my total suckage that kept placing me in the trees, on the rooftops, in the grass, and pretty much everywhere that an airplane shouldn't be........ :devil :rofl :noid
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Shuffler on October 15, 2010, 02:52:29 PM
One more item may be added....... "DO NOT ride with Shuffler".
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: Dichotomy on October 15, 2010, 03:15:04 PM
68Zoom

Keep flying the Camel. It gets better. After about 2 thousand sorties, even the slow learners like me figure
out how to keep the wings on in a tight fight. It should not be able to turn to the left real tight, but it does.
According to HiTech the rotary effect is fully modeled. I may not agree with him but I'm glad he went to the
trouble to make us WWI fanatics some planes to fly. Hopefully there will be a few new rides down the road
to add more variety and numbers to the arena.

<S>
Mano

btw
I flew in the Axis vs Allied Arena last night. That is allot of fun. The short range of the icons really
makes it difficult and fun to find those sneaky cons   :D

good to have you in there too... <S>
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: CAP1 on October 16, 2010, 10:15:36 AM
just bumping this up, as it's funny enough to get it back to the top......
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: grizz441 on October 16, 2010, 10:20:57 AM
WW1 chase!  :rofl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csuZHyW-iGI
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: TonyJoey on October 16, 2010, 10:29:56 AM
WW1 chase!  :rofl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csuZHyW-iGI

 :rofl :rofl There has to be a Seinfeld scene for just about every situation. :rofl
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: grizz441 on October 16, 2010, 10:40:56 AM
:rofl :rofl There has to be a Seinfeld scene for just about every situation. :rofl

That is pretty impressive that you are a Seinfeld fan being so young.  Your pops must have force fed it to ya.  You will like this Joey!!!   :lol
Title: Re: Top Tips for Camel Drivers ( Dicta Tusk )
Post by: B4Buster on October 16, 2010, 10:57:22 AM
 :rofl