Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: gpwurzel on August 06, 2010, 08:02:47 AM
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Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fatboy , Egghead and Brainless.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £10, even though it's only for £25. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
:D :D
Wurzel
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:rofl
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:rofl
Sports:
Men will watch football, basketball, rugby, baseball and golf, which are considered sports.
Women will watch cheerleading, which is not, but will argue to the death about it. (Personal experience, unfortunately).
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:rofl :rofl
:aok
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:rofl :lol :rofl :lol :rofl
Very funny stuff Wurzel. :aok
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:lol Well played, sir. My personal favorite was:
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
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GAMING
A man will get fussed at for playing "those damn video games" for a few hours
A woman will play "farmville" on facebook for the same amount of time but its OK because somehow "farmville" isn't a video game. :headscratch:
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This man, tmetal, has great potential.
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GAMING
A man will get fussed at for playing "those damn video games" for a few hours
A woman will play "farmville" on facebook for the same amount of time but its OK because somehow "farmville" isn't a video game. :headscratch:
I know this to be a fact. :mad:
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Reactions
Men take everything they hear at face value, and then act on it
Women will think about it for 10 minutes looking for some non existent hidden meaning, and act on THAT.
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NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
:lol :lol :lol :lol
that was a coffee screen one for me
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GRUDGES
Men will only hold a grudge for 48 hours AT MOST
Women will hold a grudge for about 6-12 months and bring up things from around that time into an arguement that just started.
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Future,Success and Marriage are my favs. :aok
:salute
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BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
Abso freeking lutely true.
To give an even better example then even I could give of myself is a buddy of mine.
They basically have two bathrooms. a his and a hers.
There are at most outin the open and on shelves maybe a dozen different items. There is plenty of room on the sink counter and more then enough room to fit 3 times as much on the shelves.
In her bath. there is maybe just enough space to wash your hands at the sink, there is twice as many shelves and each is packed full with all kinds of crap.
Now consider there is one woman and three men in the house. And they dont go in let alone use "her" bathroom
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Lived it Dred...
took a whole can of comet and a gallon of bleach to clean 'that' side of the bathroom when the leach left. And I have a bottle of Listerene and a water cup on my counter.
Ask any janitor or building manager you meet. Female loos are the nastiest places on earth aside from a Calcutta sewer.
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Dicho, you sure you weren't dating my exwife?
Certainly sounds familiar :D
Wurzel