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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Meatwad on October 08, 2010, 07:08:46 PM

Title: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 08, 2010, 07:08:46 PM
From the last thread, A discussion was brought up on how to use sheeps bladders to prevent earthquakes........

This new learning amazes me  :)
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: kilo2 on October 08, 2010, 07:10:05 PM
From the last thread, A discussion was brought up on how to use sheeps bladders to prevent earthquakes........

This new learning amazes me  :)
:banana:
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 09, 2010, 08:56:33 PM
Come on, no insight at all?

 :cry
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 09, 2010, 09:05:09 PM
I'm sorry I was busily contemplating my navel for the better part of the day.

So, from my studies, what you need is the undiluted urine of a virgin calf (about a gallon or so), a tablespoon of vinegar, three dashes of dog hair, and a newt eye.  You mix these up thoroughly and put them in the bladder.  Suspend the now filled bladder over the critical area of the fault line and it seems to reduce seismic activity.  I'm still actively searching Wikipedia to see if there are specific instructions on locating the proper point in the critical area but will get back to you when I am satisfied with my research. 
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 10, 2010, 08:35:39 PM
What would happen if you used urine from an non-virgin calf?
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Tupac on October 10, 2010, 08:39:36 PM
What would happen if you used urine from an non-virgin calf?

It would make the tsar bomb look like a firecracker.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 10, 2010, 08:47:45 PM
What would happen if you used urine from an non-virgin calf?

It would cause a severe shift of major tectonic plates causing the earths rotation to slow down dramatically.  Some theorize that this could also change our distance from the sun + / - 10 to 15 percent.  This, of course, would have disastrous effects on the environment and survival rates of all species would be severely jeopardized. 

Discuss
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 10, 2010, 09:12:25 PM
As long as the Vogons dont decide to use this area of the solar system for an intergalactic expressway
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 10, 2010, 09:15:08 PM
I heard they were in treaty negotiations with the reptilians...
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: BrownBaron on October 10, 2010, 09:23:51 PM
Should all emoticons be of the banana variety? Support your argument in a 3 chunk scheafer essay utilizing no less than 4 ack-ack quotes.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 10, 2010, 09:32:45 PM
I'll take my F now please

NO... :D
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: APDrone on October 11, 2010, 07:06:39 AM
Without knowing what the 'other thread' the OP was referring, this sounds like either the results, or a new episode, of another creative insight attempt by the Mythbusters.

Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dragon on October 11, 2010, 08:19:05 AM
The lack of sheep make finding a virgin calf very difficult.


The last one we found didn't stay eligible long enough to gather a sample.    :uhoh
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Shuffler on October 11, 2010, 11:30:32 AM
They are trying to tap into the motion sensors on laptops though. :D


....as for urine  ...... they are using an extract from it (called Urea) to clean diesel engine exhausts now.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 11:47:57 AM
Teams have been dispatched in hopes of finding a virgin calf.  Despite abject failure to locate one in Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, we remain cautiously optimistic.  

Edit: This just in.  In unrelated research we've discovered that some women weigh the same as a duck. 
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: BrownBaron on October 11, 2010, 12:01:04 PM
Teams have been dispatched in hopes of finding a virgin calf.  Despite abject failure to locate one in Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, we remain cautiously optimistic.  

Have your teams considered the 100 per cent true statement, "A happy cow is a Californian cow", ?
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 12:05:16 PM
I had a report on that here on my desk.  Let me look *hmmmm* ya here it is.  'The high levels of THC found in the urine in the bovines from California is chemically unstable and, while it has an effect on the seismic activity, it seems to do so much more slowly than the urine of other cows.'

Bad luck that  

Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: BrownBaron on October 11, 2010, 12:20:38 PM
I had a report on that here on my desk.  Let me look *hmmmm* ya here it is.  'The high levels of THC found in the urine in the bovines from California is chemically unstable and, while it has an effect on the seismic activity, it seems to do so much more slowly than the urine of other cows.'

Bad luck that  



How unfortunate. Perhaps India would be a good place to check next?
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 12:27:27 PM
Not a bad idea.  We could possibly get tech support out of them as well  :D
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 11, 2010, 07:32:52 PM
Teams have been dispatched in hopes of finding a virgin calf.  Despite abject failure to locate one in Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, we remain cautiously optimistic.  

Edit: This just in.  In unrelated research we've discovered that some women weigh the same as a duck. 

I have seen a few that have the same weight of a duck.....apparently they are made of wood for some bizarre reason
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 07:44:20 PM
yes but what conclusion can we draw if a woman is made of wood and weighs the same as a duck?
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Tupac on October 11, 2010, 07:45:52 PM
yes but what conclusion can we draw if a woman is made of wood and weighs the same as a duck?

If she weighs the same as a duck, then she must be a witch!
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 11, 2010, 08:15:13 PM
A witch!?  BURN HER!!!
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: phatzo on October 11, 2010, 08:45:45 PM
(http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0810/burn-the-witch-burn-witch-kill-monty-python-demotivational-poster-1223816026.jpg)
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 09:27:01 PM
But she says she's not a witch  :neener:
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 11, 2010, 09:36:12 PM
But she looks like one. And she has a wart too
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 11, 2010, 09:47:51 PM
Yes but she claims that 'they' dressed her up like that.  Much like the Illuminati the insidious 'They' conspirators seem to be everywhere and nowhere all of the time.  'They' say a lot but nobody can ever pin a single member much less their leaders down and make them take a position.  Even Coast to Coast am has no solid evidence that actually proves that 'They' exist.  Yet so many people apparently have fallen victim to their brainwashing campaign.   I'm worried... truly worried...  :O 
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 12, 2010, 07:03:07 AM
"They" denied it at first, but later under severe pressure "they" admitted that she was dressed up a bit
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Plawranc on October 12, 2010, 07:24:36 AM
We are slightly concerned that Coconuts are now considered an effective mode of transport.

Also we are baffled at the fact that Knights in armour and Swallows seem to have a universal fixation with eachother.

Shrubberies went up in demand and verbal terrorism is on the rise. NHI
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 12, 2010, 08:11:42 AM
Well it's a sad day at research central.  I have to give Roger his release.  It seems he circulated a memo directing a visiting dignitary to, and I quote, 'cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring'.  This is a serious institute and we have no room for that kind of silliness.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: phatzo on October 12, 2010, 04:16:53 PM
Ni!
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: BrownBaron on October 12, 2010, 05:16:37 PM
Well it's a sad day at research central.  I have to give Roger his release.  It seems he circulated a memo directing a visiting dignitary to, and I quote, 'cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring'.  This is a serious institute and we have no room for that kind of silliness.

I would have done that same thing in your position.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 12, 2010, 09:43:12 PM
Reading the Bristol evening post, I had come across this article:


As for the performance of Superintendent Harry "Snapper" Organs as Sancho Panza the audience were bemused by his high-pitched Welsh accent and intimadated by his abusive ad-libs
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: phatzo on October 12, 2010, 10:01:06 PM
Looking for a safe job
we're doing one next Friday
call Nobby or Stan
5555131055
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: APDrone on October 12, 2010, 10:06:04 PM
There is a notable lack of confirmation of the 'Newt' allegations.

I sense a coverup.

Sombody call Woodward!!


Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 12, 2010, 10:07:43 PM
But they got better..........
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 13, 2010, 08:42:24 AM
New research project starting this week and I'm very excited about it.  Transportation of coconuts using only the power of swallows.  We got shipments of African and European swallows in today. 
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Tupac on October 13, 2010, 09:46:12 AM
How can a 3oz swallow carry a 1 pound coconut?
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: FLOTSOM on October 13, 2010, 09:55:26 AM
New research project starting this week and I'm very excited about it.  Transportation of coconuts using only the power of swallows.  We got shipments of African and European swallows in today. 

there are soooooooo many funnies running through my head right now!!!!!! but i cant write any of them without being subjected to the HAMMER of the SKUZZINATOR.................. but im certain you guys could figure them out on your own..
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 13, 2010, 10:24:22 AM
had the same type of thoughts the other day when I read the title to http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php/topic,298272.0.html

buuuuuttt.. I shall not digress

ALBATROSS!!!!!
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: FLOTSOM on October 13, 2010, 10:27:42 AM
had the same type of thoughts the other day when I read the title to http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php/topic,298272.0.html

buuuuuttt.. I shall not digress

ALBATROSS!!!!!

i saw the title and knew without a doubt that i would get myself into sooooooo much trouble if i even looked into the thread! so i have still yet to read it  :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 13, 2010, 10:31:08 AM
 :rofl  :aok

Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Ripsnort on October 13, 2010, 12:37:24 PM
In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's bladder.
In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the goat FIRST.
In 1874, Americans enlarged the condom so that it would fit.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 13, 2010, 12:58:25 PM
The ministry of silly walks is thataway ----->
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: phatzo on October 13, 2010, 08:57:49 PM
I'm a lumberjack and I'm Ok
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 13, 2010, 09:10:06 PM
Its not dead, its pining for the fjords
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: BrownBaron on October 13, 2010, 09:58:19 PM
There'ssomethingwrongwithmethere'ssomethingwrongwithyouthere'ssomethingwrongwithme.
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Dichotomy on October 14, 2010, 07:30:24 AM
Memo to: Dichotomy
From: Food Division

Re: Addition to Food Line

R & D have two prototypes ready for marketing test.  We feel that Crunchy Frog and Spring Surprise (details in attachment A) represent two very viable options for capturing more of the market share in the confectionery field particularly in Wales and in the Southern United States. 

Please advise as to a no / no go for marketing studies.


hmmmm.. what do you guys think? 
Title: Re: Banana shaped world
Post by: Meatwad on October 14, 2010, 06:32:13 PM
Would crunchy frog have dehydrated frogs or frogs with all the juicy bits