Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Tupac on November 22, 2010, 10:26:22 PM

Title: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Tupac on November 22, 2010, 10:26:22 PM
Make conversation with your frisker. Chances are they're only mildly uncomfortable with this change, but more afraid for their jobs should they screw up in even the slightest way. They're employees being put in an unreasonable situation, too. Take advantage of that. Eye contact: get some. A polite smile and a eyeful of iris can be unnerving to anyone in a stressful situation, and they're standing there for hours on end in an endless cycle of touchy repetition. Whistle loudly. You'll make everyone in line less edgy once they see someone taking it in stride, and may even make the process that much faster. When confronted with a full-body scanner and asked to rotate, do the Macarena. Tell the last TSA agent that you see while leaving the security area that it was wonderful, and ask if it was just as good for them as it was for you.Request dinner from your frisker prior to your search. Wear no underclothes. None at all. Pose briefly while in the scanner before each 90-degree turn. Consult bodybuilding videos on YouTube for references. Ask them if they can see the rash, and smile innocently.

Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: rogwar on November 22, 2010, 11:19:43 PM
Just ask him/her to buy you a drink first.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Dadano on November 22, 2010, 11:47:29 PM
Wear a kilt.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: 68ZooM on November 22, 2010, 11:49:30 PM
full body condom and a big smile
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Wayout on November 23, 2010, 07:30:43 AM
You won't see London,
 You won't see France.
Till the TSA,
 Sees your Underpants.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Masherbrum on November 23, 2010, 08:15:39 AM
:rofl Wayout
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Serenity on November 23, 2010, 11:30:45 AM
Wayout, that's brilliant!
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: lowZX14 on November 23, 2010, 12:04:30 PM
Wayout, man you just caused a bit of half chewed tuna sub to go flying.

Girl at work just got a job with TSA and will be working in Dulles in a few weeks.  I told her be prepared to be hated and when not at work I sure wouldn't tell anyone who I worked for these days.  Some of y'all sure wouldn't mind her being your frisker either.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: ROX on November 23, 2010, 12:35:19 PM
I think the best smarty-arsed way would be to as soon as they take you aside and start frisking to (in your best Harvey Firesteen voice) --

"Oh..Ohhhh...YEAH baby....FASTER....YEAH baby...work it....work it.......!!!"


But you'd probably get arrested.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: CAP1 on November 23, 2010, 12:40:47 PM
while i realize these people(the ones running the scanners, and frisking people) are at least getting jobs, rather than collecting welfare, or unemployment......i will do absotley nothing to make anyone participating in the reduction/elimination of our right feel more comfortable in any way shape or form.
 i will in fact(even if it is childish) do whatever i can within the law to make them as uncomfortable as i possibly can.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Babalonian on November 23, 2010, 01:47:35 PM
Make conversation with your frisker. Chances are they're only mildly uncomfortable with this change, but more afraid for their jobs should they screw up in even the slightest way. They're employees being put in an unreasonable situation, too. Take advantage of that. Eye contact: get some. A polite smile and a eyeful of iris can be unnerving to anyone in a stressful situation, and they're standing there for hours on end in an endless cycle of touchy repetition. Whistle loudly. You'll make everyone in line less edgy once they see someone taking it in stride, and may even make the process that much faster. When confronted with a full-body scanner and asked to rotate, do the Macarena. Tell the last TSA agent that you see while leaving the security area that it was wonderful, and ask if it was just as good for them as it was for you.Request dinner from your frisker prior to your search. Wear no underclothes. None at all. Pose briefly while in the scanner before each 90-degree turn. Consult bodybuilding videos on YouTube for references. Ask them if they can see the rash, and smile innocently.



I find putting on the most ridiculous pair of socks you own before leaving the house for the airport is best.  Vintage 1980s Mickey Mouse stockings ftw!  Is there no better occasion than the TSA screening area for you dads to done on those frilly neon-poka-dot stockings and hello-kitty ties that your daughter gets for you?
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: ROX on November 23, 2010, 02:58:19 PM
full body condom and a big smile



Who are you dating?  Courtney Love or Madonna?
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: 68ZooM on November 23, 2010, 03:02:38 PM
Wayout, man you just caused a bit of half chewed tuna sub to go flying.

Girl at work just got a job with TSA and will be working in Dulles in a few weeks.  I told her be prepared to be hated and when not at work I sure wouldn't tell anyone who I worked for these days.  Some of y'all sure wouldn't mind her being your frisker either.

she'll get stuck frisking the women lol
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Tupac on November 23, 2010, 03:04:17 PM
The whole idea of my post was to make the frisker as uncomfortable as possible, I guess noone got it, or just didn't think it was funny
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: CAP1 on November 23, 2010, 03:52:21 PM
The whole idea of my post was to make the frisker as uncomfortable as possible, I guess noone got it, or just didn't think it was funny

not much funny about things like this.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: lowZX14 on November 24, 2010, 08:13:47 AM
she'll get stuck frisking the women lol

That's exactly what I told her, such a shame because it would be interesting to see some male passengers leave the screening area and trying to walk through the terminal with ummmmmmmm problems.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: EskimoJoe on November 24, 2010, 10:11:49 AM
The whole idea of my post was to make the frisker as uncomfortable as possible, I guess noone got it, or just didn't think it was funny

Hmmm, now isn't that why... Ohh, nevermind.

 :bolt:
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: redwing7 on November 24, 2010, 10:55:03 AM
The last (and only time) I was frisked, I ask the officer if he found anything he liked........he was unamused.
Title: Re: An easier way to get frisked
Post by: Babalonian on November 24, 2010, 12:39:55 PM
The last (and only time) I was frisked, I ask the officer if he found anything he liked........he was unamused.

I was drunk once and one of about 20 guys in a large brawl, about to get frisked by a sheriff before being told to go home with a warning, he was asking the usual prep questions while instructing me how to stand: "Any blades, needles or things I should know about?".  I replied "Just a club n' couple stones.".  He too was not amused and thankfuly I had left all my bad-boy toys at home or in the car that night.