Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: clerick on October 10, 2011, 02:38:48 PM

Title: Toe nails
Post by: clerick on October 10, 2011, 02:38:48 PM
So, i have a dilemma.  My toe nails are growing and I'm not sure if it's safe to use a trimmer or not. I've heard that there are torture treatments that will remove them quickly, but with some excruciating pain.

What shall I do??  My socks are starting to get hols in the toes and I can't wear gloves!
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Shane on October 10, 2011, 02:40:20 PM
amputate.  :aok
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: GNucks on October 10, 2011, 02:44:04 PM
Clipping your tonails is not dangerous. I know some guys who use clippers but they always seem to clip too much and get an ingrown nail. I prefer using a file. It may seem long and tedious but the result is much nicer. You can use a disposable file or get a nice metal one. This is what I use:

(http://www.zamberg.com/files/CustomField/ef042fa3-7ad4-4c6a-b6bd-ad494cf89505.jpg)







... lol   :lol
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: tmetal on October 10, 2011, 02:46:41 PM
laser them off!!! :rofl
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: uptown on October 10, 2011, 02:51:40 PM
File them down on Penguins face. That way he'll get the shave he so desperately needs and you'll get your nails trimmed in the process. 2 birds with one stone you see.  :D
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: mechanic on October 10, 2011, 02:52:19 PM
This is a very serious matter. You guys taking the piss should be ashamed.
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: M0nkey_Man on October 10, 2011, 02:53:21 PM
File them down on Penguins face. That way he'll get the shave he so desperately needs and you'll get your nails trimmed in the process. 2 birds with one stone you see.  :D
:rofl
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: gyrene81 on October 10, 2011, 02:56:02 PM
File them down on Penguins face. That way he'll get the shave he so desperately needs and you'll get your nails trimmed in the process. 2 birds with one stone you see.  :D
roflmao!!!  :rofl
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: F22RaptorDude on October 10, 2011, 02:56:50 PM
For some reason I thought this was about Megan Fox (http://cdn2.mixrmedia.com/wp-uploads/girlybubble/blog/2011/07/troll-face.png)
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Dichotomy on October 10, 2011, 02:59:57 PM
blow torch?
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: AAJagerX on October 10, 2011, 03:09:29 PM
Nair!  Use teh Nair!!!
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Shuffler on October 10, 2011, 03:11:08 PM
chop saw

axe

guillotine

or simply kick a fan
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: JimmyC on October 10, 2011, 03:11:25 PM
 :rofl :rofl

I use chipmunks...special trained and imported from the USofA

worth the dolla cos it tickles
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: 68ZooM on October 10, 2011, 03:17:00 PM
Black & Decker 8 inch bench grinder, works fast just ignore the smoke and smell.
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: skorpion on October 10, 2011, 03:36:12 PM
Hacksaw
Flamethrower
Explosives (grenades?)
EXTREMELY hot sandpaper
or if your going the panzy way...


....toenail clippers....
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Penguin on October 10, 2011, 03:55:48 PM
No!  No!  You've got it all wrong.  You'll have to do those other treatments every few months.  The real solution will hurt, but it's well worth it.

You will need:
A scalpel
Hair net
Gauze
Sterile paper
Rubbing alcohol
Scrubs
Sterile needle and sutures
Surgical gloves
Local anaesthetic
Hypodermic syringes
A high pain tolerance
 
Begin by washing your hands thoroughly, and then donning the mask, hair net, scrubs, and lastly, the gloves.  Next, clean the cuticle and surrounding area with the rubbing alcohol and gauze.  Inject the local anaesthetic into a vein that will lead into the toes.  Working quickly, make your first incision behind the cuticle, and then around it.  Get the scalpel under the cuticle, and lever it out.  This will prevent regrowth of the the toenail.  Repeat the process for each toe.  Pull out the toenails, and clean everything with more gauze and rubbing alcohol.  With that done, sew up the incisions with the sterile needle and sutures.  You have now completely and permanantly removed your toenails, but bear in mind that you may suffer from infections and inflammation due to the missing protection of the nail bed.  In addition, you may need to take additional pain killers after the procedure.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Dragon on October 10, 2011, 03:57:29 PM
No!  No!  You've got it all wrong.  You'll have to do those other treatments every few months.  The real solution will hurt, but it's well worth it.

You will need:
A scalpel
Hair net
Gauze
Sterile paper
Rubbing alcohol
Scrubs
Sterile needle and sutures
Surgical gloves
Local anaesthetic
Hypodermic syringes
A high pain tolerance
 
Begin by washing your hands thoroughly, and then donning the mask, hair net, scrubs, and lastly, the gloves.  Next, clean the cuticle and surrounding area with the rubbing alcohol and gauze.  Inject the local anaesthetic into a vein that will lead into the toes.  Working quickly, make your first incision behind the cuticle, and then around it.  Get the scalpel under the cuticle, and lever it out.  This will prevent regrowth of the the toenail.  Repeat the process for each toe.  Pull out the toenails, and clean everything with more gauze and rubbing alcohol.  With that done, sew up the incisions with the sterile needle and sutures.  You have now completely and permanantly removed your toenails, but bear in mind that you may suffer from infections and inflammation due to the missing protection of the nail bed.  In addition, you may need to take additional pain killers after the procedure.

-Penguin



This coming from I guy who can't shave his face.........


 :noid
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Penguin on October 10, 2011, 03:58:29 PM
I'm not a doctor, I just play one on the internet.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Devil 505 on October 10, 2011, 04:13:50 PM
I'm not a doctor, I just play one on the internet.

-Penguin
Yes, but did you stay at a Holliday Inn last night?
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Penguin on October 10, 2011, 04:17:12 PM
No.

-Penguin
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Dago on October 10, 2011, 04:23:01 PM
Man, this board is really going down hill.
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Dragon on October 10, 2011, 05:04:28 PM
Yes, but did you stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?


fixed




Man, this board is really going down hill.


You have NO idea.   :cheers:
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: Nikolai on October 10, 2011, 05:25:19 PM
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDu1MufupSuwNZ2btPLLEdq--joUuh8e2yTYxPryGlQ6pDIQSRwvi0N4fYzg)
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: GNucks on October 10, 2011, 05:29:30 PM
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDu1MufupSuwNZ2btPLLEdq--joUuh8e2yTYxPryGlQ6pDIQSRwvi0N4fYzg)

(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDu1MufupSuwNZ2btPLLEdq--joUuh8e2yTYxPryGlQ6pDIQSRwvi0N4fYzg)

 :devil
Title: Re: Toe nails
Post by: 68ZooM on October 10, 2011, 06:44:08 PM
(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDu1MufupSuwNZ2btPLLEdq--joUuh8e2yTYxPryGlQ6pDIQSRwvi0N4fYzg)