Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: flight17 on January 24, 2012, 05:20:53 PM

Title: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: flight17 on January 24, 2012, 05:20:53 PM
THIS WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!

http://thewashingtonfancy.com/2011/09/18/man-takes-viagra-wears-sweatpants-for-tsa-pat-down/1500

Quote
NASHVILLE INT’L AIRPORT — A Wyoming man walked through a TSA checkpoint with a raging erection on Thursday, daring TSA officers and even fellow passengers to give him an invasive pat down.

“I’m next,” Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix.


"Sir, thank you for cooperating with TSA regulations, but this is the 6th time you've been through security. You really don't need to come back here anymore."
“I thought he was carrying a baton in his pants,” said Amanda Watershed, second shift supervisor of the A Terminal at Nashville International Airport. “Nope… That was his noodle.”

Even though TSA officials allowed Kelvin to initially pass through security without the controversial pat down, the passenger on more than one occasion got back in line until he felt that he had been thoroughly inspected. Kelvin finally got the invasive pat down by 38-year-old officer Duncan Allbright after 80 minutes and four trips through security.

“Even after we let him pass through he kept walking out of the terminal and getting back in line,” said Watershed. “Finally, Duncan had to bite the bullet for everyone and do a thorough screening of him in a private [security] room.”

Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. “I’m going home to take a shower and make love to my wife,” said Allbright as he got into his car. “This job isn’t for me. I’ve suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers.”

U.S Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano dismissed concerns that more TSA officers would quit or that more travelers would take similar measures to get their “jollies”. “I am hoping this is an isolated incident. If flights were a lot cheaper, I could see more people doing this,” said Napolitano, “but with the cost of airplane fuel rising, I don’t think $560 roundtrip is a bargain price to get fondled.”

Calls to TSA headquarters went unanswered, as everyone there is just exhausted.
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: Penguin on January 24, 2012, 05:22:53 PM
VIVAAA VIAGRAAA!

-Penguin
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: Tupac on January 24, 2012, 05:24:04 PM
Poor guy, they didnt even buy him dinner first.
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: AirLynx on January 24, 2012, 05:53:05 PM
 :huh
Nashville International has really gone downhill lately.
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: DMVIAGRA on January 24, 2012, 05:53:47 PM
VIVAAA VIAGRAAA!

-Penguin
You called?
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: MK-84 on January 24, 2012, 06:39:47 PM
You called?

^ :rofl
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: guncrasher on January 25, 2012, 12:40:26 AM
I bet anything it was dadkev  :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl.


semp
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: SWkiljoy on January 25, 2012, 12:49:08 AM
You called?
:rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Is that a gun in my pants, or am i ready to be fondled? LMAO
Post by: guncrasher on January 25, 2012, 02:58:14 AM
You called?

I peed in my shorts a little laughing  :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl.


semp