Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Maverick on February 18, 2012, 05:21:22 PM
-
During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember
these four great religious truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3.Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.
-
5. even the bril powers of he wot iz david wales can't safe this thread frum skuzz and dale!(ops i meant hitch sorry hitec!).
-
Why I go to a non-denominational church .
-
IN
-
Why I go to a non-denominational church .
:lol
-
Why I go to a non-denominational church .
Me too oh and IN
-
:lol
-
What about Irish Catholics being on a 1st name basis with everyone @ the liquor store?
-
6) Bhudists and hindus are different religions, but they're far enough away and simmilar enough that nobody remembers which is which.
-
I bowed to Zuhl until Bill F#%(IN Murray zapped her... now I'm lost and wanderINg IN darkness and despair.
-
Well here are some more, and shame on you for thinking this was a serious thread! A friend sent me this because she knows I have a sense of humor. Something some of you seem to have IN short supply.
GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." It soon became part of her nightly routine to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
-
I bowed to Zuhl until Bill F#%(IN Murray zapped her... now I'm lost and wanderINg IN darkness and despair.
YES!!!!!! :aok :aok :aok :aok :aok
-
Well since it's Sunday, I'm IN :banana:
:cheers: Oz
-
Pies are the only way forward :)