Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: oakranger on February 28, 2012, 07:50:14 PM

Title: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: oakranger on February 28, 2012, 07:50:14 PM

Just got this from a friend.  LOL


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep..

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go
to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least the squeak knows
I'm smarter than her.

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: BowHTR on February 28, 2012, 07:53:28 PM

 :O :O :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: M0nkey_Man on February 28, 2012, 08:21:52 PM

needs...oxygen...laughing too much.... :rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: Maverick on February 28, 2012, 09:31:36 PM

 :rofl :rofl

I am stealing that one.

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: MaSonZ on February 28, 2012, 09:59:12 PM

 :rofl :rofl

stole and sent to my tech teacher.. and the Mrs. almost just slapped me senseless.....  :bolt:

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: MarineUS on February 28, 2012, 10:04:02 PM

So.Much.Win.

Stolen!

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: lmxar on February 28, 2012, 10:33:44 PM

 :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: Volron on February 28, 2012, 11:49:12 PM

 :rofl :rofl :rofl


(http://i1213.photobucket.com/albums/cc473/UnkShadow/chuck-norris-approves.jpg)

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: Shuffler on February 29, 2012, 12:00:59 AM

 :rofl

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: Mar on February 29, 2012, 01:41:15 AM

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s135/aeonnz/animated/roflcopter.gif)

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: matt on February 29, 2012, 01:47:04 AM

 :rofl :rofl :lol

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: deSelys on February 29, 2012, 09:29:33 AM

The joke was good but this:

Quote from: Mar on February 29, 2012, 01:41:15 AM

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s135/aeonnz/animated/roflcopter.gif)




got me completely  :rofl :rofl :rofl with tears running from my eyes and snot out of my nose  :aok

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: VonMessa on February 29, 2012, 10:41:47 AM

 :rofl

 :aok

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: SFRT - Frenchy on February 29, 2012, 10:52:44 AM

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s135/aeonnz/animated/roflcopter.gif)
 :aok :rofl

Title: Re: When girls don't put out!!
Post by: B4Buster on February 29, 2012, 10:59:38 AM

 :rofl :rofl :rofl
Awesome!

and great .gif!