Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: 321BAR on April 29, 2012, 03:04:16 PM

Title: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on April 29, 2012, 03:04:16 PM
Read it and tell me what you guys think please. Good or bad i'd just like feedback.

One passionate voice,
Can lead a nation to a path full of choice,
Can end a world of war and greed,
Can end the worry of millions of what to feed,
Their sons and daughters during the night,
One voice can lead a world in this fight.

One voice can fuel the fire in the heart,
Let two find the way for love to start,
Or let a child live to cherish the beauty around us,
And let it have possibilities to learn to trust,
Let the lusting realize the act of compassion,
While the sloth can be put into action.

It can free a human from their wrong acts,
And let the ignorant see the truth of facts.
It can unite a whole nation in equality,
Or let others see one person’s true quality.
One voice can end suffering and one’s pain,
And let a poor man see what life he can gain.

A single voice can do all of this,
It can counter another’s anger and iron fist,
Do you have this passion? Do you have that voice?
Can you save a person from the wrongdoing of a single choice?

If this is too opinionated please let me know. I only posted on the forums because i believe it isn't. <S>
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: ALFAMEGA51 on April 29, 2012, 03:11:03 PM
Wow man nice  :),  i like it
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on April 29, 2012, 03:13:56 PM
Wow man nice  :),  i like it
thanks bro :aok been writing for years now. not public with most of it and some too opinionated for these boards also <S>
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: Zexx on April 29, 2012, 03:33:45 PM
I like it... a lot.  The tone is one challenge, but I didn't find it opinionated. Good work.
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on April 29, 2012, 04:44:21 PM
I like it... a lot.  The tone is one challenge, but I didn't find it opinionated. Good work.
i tried to push it for a hit at the end but it was hard to do it in 10 minutes :lol
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 4deck on April 30, 2012, 08:21:05 AM
 :aok :cheers:
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: Dragon on April 30, 2012, 12:58:42 PM
 :aok
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on April 30, 2012, 01:02:54 PM
thanks guys :aok
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: olds442 on April 30, 2012, 03:11:55 PM
 :aok
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: Dragon on May 01, 2012, 08:23:42 AM
i tried to push it for a hit at the end but it was hard to do it in 10 minutes :lol

I have an idea.....


Read it and tell me what you guys think please. Good or bad i'd just like feedback.

One passionate voice,
Can lead a nation to a path full of choice,
Can end a world of war and greed,
Can end the worry of millions of what to feed,
Their sons and daughters during the night,
One voice can lead a world in this fight.

One voice can fuel the fire in the heart,
Let two find the way for love to start,
Or let a child live to cherish the beauty around us,
And let it have possibilities to learn to trust,
Let the lusting realize the act of compassion,
While the sloth can be put into action.

It can free a human from their wrong acts,
And let the ignorant see the truth of facts.
It can unite a whole nation in equality,
Or let others see one person’s true quality.
One voice can end suffering and one’s pain,
And let a poor man see what life he can gain.

A single voice can do all of this,
It can counter another’s anger and iron fist,
Do you have this passion? Do you have that voice?
Can you save a person from the wrongdoing of a single choice?
Do you have.....the "QUUUAAAAAAAHHHHH"?
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: Slate on May 01, 2012, 09:05:55 AM
  Put that to music and you've got a hit!     :rock
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on May 01, 2012, 12:42:58 PM
  Put that to music and you've got a hit!     :rock
:lol it needs alot more tweaking and work if you want a hit single out of something like that...
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: RedBull1 on May 01, 2012, 03:10:23 PM
No Quah? No Cheezits? The RedBull does not approve.  :mad:
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: ALFAMEGA51 on May 01, 2012, 10:22:17 PM
No Quah? No Cheezits? The RedBull does not approve.  :mad:
Shaddup Noob, this is quality work  :D, the MEGA aprroves it  :bolt:
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: ink on May 01, 2012, 11:02:58 PM
pretty damn good man...hell of a lot better then I could do.
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: RedBull1 on May 02, 2012, 12:43:07 AM
jk man, great work bar, had to yank your chain  :D
 :cheers:  :salute bud
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on May 02, 2012, 12:43:45 PM
thanks guys :aok been trying to get something better than that but just no time to do it lately :(
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: ap1102 on May 02, 2012, 03:19:15 PM
Here I sit broke and battered
My plane of choice is torn and tattered
I upped a spit to save the day
and got called a spit dweeb
for upping that way

I engaged 4 cons above the field
they twisted and turned and refused to yield
I shot down three but before I knew it
the fourth was on my six, I think I blew it

I cried in vain "wheres the help?"
I began to split S  and continued to yelp
My plaintive cries brought no friends
so I guess I"ll just have to up again...........

EZRhino 2012
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: ink on May 02, 2012, 03:24:03 PM
Here I sit broke and battered
My plane of choice is torn and tattered
I upped a spit to save the day
and got called a spit dweeb
for upping that way

I engaged 4 cons above the field
they twisted and turned and refused to yield
I shot down three but before I knew it
the fourth was on my six, I think I blew it

I cried in vain "wheres the help?"
I began to split S  and continued to yelp
My plaintive cries brought no friends
so I guess I"ll just have to up again...........

EZRhino 2012


 :rofl

thats awesome
Title: Re: i decided to write something
Post by: 321BAR on May 02, 2012, 03:28:24 PM
Here I sit broke and battered
My plane of choice is torn and tattered
I upped a spit to save the day
and got called a spit dweeb
for upping that way

I engaged 4 cons above the field
they twisted and turned and refused to yield
I shot down three but before I knew it
the fourth was on my six, I think I blew it

I cried in vain "wheres the help?"
I began to split S  and continued to yelp
My plaintive cries brought no friends
so I guess I"ll just have to up again...........

EZRhino 2012

:rofl :rofl :aok