Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: bigsky on November 20, 2012, 01:00:25 AM
-
A small East Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, which was a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Ted Standen, a Bubba-esque part-time worker, who was responsible for cleaning the animal’s cages. Ted, like most Bubbas, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The administrator thought they might have a solution. Ted was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Ted showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ted announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions.
“First,” Ted said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her on the lips.”
The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
“Second”, Ted said, “you must never tell anyone about this”
The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
“Third,” Ted said, “I want any offspring to be raised Southern Baptist.”
Once again the administrator agreed.
“And last of all,” Ted stated, “you’ve got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00.”
-
:rofl
-
:rofl :rofl
-
Oh wow :rofl
-
:rofl
-
:rofl :rofl :rofl now that's funny right there...
-
:rofl
-
Umm buba is definitely from Arkansas.
-
Umm buba is definitely from Arkansas.
I was gonna say Oklahoma.. But that's probably right :devil
-
A small East Texas Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, which was a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Barry Soetoro, an Obama-esque part-time worker, who was responsible for cleaning the animal’s cages. Barry, like most Obamas, had little sense. The administrator thought they might have a solution. Barry was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Barry showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Barry announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions.
“First,” Barry said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her on the lips.”
The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
“Second”, Barry said, “you must never tell anyone about this”
The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
“Third,” Barry said, “I want any offspring to be raised Muslim.”
Once again the administrator agreed.
“And last of all,” Barry said, “you’ve got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00, as Congress is being mean.”
Fixed :bolt:
-
Someone doesn't want a Twinkie...
-
:rofl
-
There was the story about the Texan that went to Alaska to work on the pipeline. He walked into a bar and immediately started taking grief for being from the Lone Star.
One big burly man proudly told him, "In Alaska we can drink a quart of whiskey, wrestle a Polar Bear and make love to an Eskimo woman all night long!"
"Oh really? That doesn't sound like much" replied the Texan as he grabbed a bottle off the bar, downed it and headed out the door.
Several hours later he returned, staggering thru the door with bloody clothes ripped to shreds.
"Now where's that Eskimo you wanted me to wrassle!"