Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: flight17 on April 13, 2013, 05:15:52 PM
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If these are you're, we are DOOMED!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(Keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'
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Ok good DumbAS**** arnt just in my age group.... :furious :O :neener:
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:lol
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The last one.
Gold.
:rofl
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:rofl
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A few years ago a buddy of mine was working as tow-truck driver (roadside assistance or what you call it). He got a call from an upset lady who had stopped her car because a warning light came up on her dashboard. My buddy drove to the site, checked the warning light on her dash, turned off the high-beams, and charged her 50 bucks for showing up. :confused:
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I knew it was all going down hill, when i saw whats being passed off as a KLONDIKE bar now adays...... :lol
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True Story
About 10 years ago I was working as a programmer for a marketing company. The receptionist was about 20 years old and pretty attractive. One day she was on her hands and knees on the floor (great view BTW) sorting some papers. I turned away from typing to talk to her.
I asked: "What are you doing?"
she said: "Sorting clients by state."
me: "You're going to have a bunch of piles."
her response: "Yeah, 52"
I turned back to my monitor.
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :aok
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Ok good DumbAS**** arnt just in my age group.... :furious :O :neener:
generally speaking no but Darwin usually sorts them out.
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heard them all back in the 80's and they're all fake. still funny though.
when I worked at the insurance company this good friend of mine used to tell me when how everybody was so nice to her when she started. I told her it was because when she sat down in front of anybody we could see her skirt was so short we could see her underwear :banana:.
semp
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True story.
I have heard people vigorously proposing conspiracy theories that violate the rules of basic physics.
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generally speaking no but Darwin usually sorts them out.
It doesn't always seem to work fast enough though does it...
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I had a bloke from Ireland saying he had stapled the second page to the first while faxing it and wanted know why we had not received second page.
He rang up once saying he was receiving our faxes, i asked him did his fax have paper in it!
He said no, after a 30 second pause i said can you put some paper in it and he did, he then said its working now. :old:
I went to Ireland and was amazed how the lack of urgency in the work place was a cultural thing :old:
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True story:
I went to McDonald's and asked for a half-pounder instead of a double quarter pounder. They never did figure it out.
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In the late '90s I drove about 50 miles in rush hour traffic, on overtime, to press the power button on a Macintosh that the makeup vendor at a kiosk in Nordstrom's had turned off. She was panicking so badly my boss couldn't talk her through trouble shooting it over the phone. He had me come get a spare computer and bring it down to the site. I had a feeling the Mac already there was fine, so I left in in the van and went inside and asked her what had happened. She pointed at the power button on the keyboard and said she pressed that button. I pressed the power button and the Mac booted up just fine. I explained that it was just the power button and told her computers weren't that fragile and not to worry about breaking it so much.
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This happens irtually every time I order a meal at mcdonalds, per their prescribed pattern of asking for it by number. I ask for a #4 medium with a soft drink. 9 out of 10 times they ask if I want the meal. 2 out of 10 times I ask if they thought I wanted a medium number to eat, generally only when I am very hungry because I unfortunately can be a salamander when I get hungry. I rarely go there now thank god.
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Here is one that happened to me..
I am bee sting allergic, and I worked in a Dunkin Donuts in NH. It was towards the end of my shift when i was putting the trash out in the dumpster when i got stung twice. I went to use my epi-pen and realized i had left it at home. I walked in to the front of the store to inform my boss. I told her I was bee sting allergic and I had just got stung. I was already having distress breathing.
As she looked at me she asked what to do.. I said call an ambulance..
Her respose.. "What is the number for 911?"
The customers went dead silent, then a wiseass comment came from the back, "Call 411 to get the number for 911.."
Try to laugh when you cant breath..
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when I first started driving, I pulled up to the gas pump and started pumping the $9 in gas, the pumps were running slower than heck. I watched this woman go in and buy 2 quarts of oil, came out and put both into a little Honda crx. she leans over engine, goes back in and buys 2 more quarts. puts both of those in. Now I am like WOW :O just did an oil change. so she goes back in and buys 2 more quarts and started putting the first one in as I got done pumping the gas. I asked her if she knew how much oil she had put into her car, she was like well yeah I know, 5 quarts my husband said it was down by a quart, but I still cant see it in the hole. She was looking down the filler hole instead of using the dipstick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pcqVQe-4z0
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:lol
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Whole website for this sort of thing, both good and bad.
Here (http://notalwaysright.com)
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Here is one that happened to me..
I am bee sting allergic, and I worked in a Dunkin Donuts in NH. It was towards the end of my shift when i was putting the trash out in the dumpster when i got stung twice. I went to use my epi-pen and realized i had left it at home. I walked in to the front of the store to inform my boss. I told her I was bee sting allergic and I had just got stung. I was already having distress breathing.
As she looked at me she asked what to do.. I said call an ambulance..
Her respose.. "What is the number for 911?"
The customers went dead silent, then a wiseass comment came from the back, "Call 411 to get the number for 911.."
Try to laugh when you cant breath..
:rofl
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I knew it was all going down hill, when i saw whats being passed off as a KLONDIKE bar now adays...... :lol
Uh oh, I've had one recently, what did I eat? Or...?