Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Butcher on June 09, 2013, 02:16:51 PM
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two weeks ago I was grumbling about my mother in law and my wifes sister coming down to visit. Work was picking up big time and I had really no time off to spare. My wife and her sister are both RN's, her sister working for a large hospital in minnesota, and my wife was about to start one here in Florida. However me being stressed out lately with work and everything else, my wife didn't tell me about an infection she had. While down here, she mentioned to her mother who rushed her to a walk in clinic - I agreed and thought nothing of it. I get a call few hours later that my wife ended up in the ER. When it rains it pours - when all the scans came back and tests, It turns out she has Stage IV breast cancer, and it has spread some to her lungs. Some know, I just recently got married to her in Feb, after years of joking I'd never get married we finally tied the knot.
Her first round of Chemo wasn't good, as expected it took a day for the side effect to kick in, but otherwise she's a strong woman even at 105lbs. I've been a total wreck for the past two weeks and lost all interest in everything except making her better and even then im powerless to do so.
She's only 32 years old, I haven't thought nothing of it only because I've always been strong as an ox and only once a year I get tested - even then I don't have insurance because frankly i'm in the middle when it comes to money (I make enough but not enough to get anything decent).
I just want everyone to not be caught in the position I was in, I thought everything was fantastic up till now, to be crushed by this terrible disease its certainly changed me. Thanks Del, Strokes and Unclkurt.
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I am so sorry to hear that, Butcher.
I hope she beats it and that you have long lives together. I wish that there was something more I could do.
<S>
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damn......I am very sorry to hear this......
I am at a loss for words....
Stay strong :salute
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Sorry to hear of the struggle, Butcher. Here's praying the Lord will heal her, and allow you both to grow old together. :salute
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:pray hope every thing turns out ok
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So sorry Butcher.
Thinking about you and yours.
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So sorry to hear this brother, prayin' for ya :salute :pray
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That's just awful Butcher. I thought the post was going to be about flying and wish it was.
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Very, very sorry to hear about this Butcher! My thoughts and prayers to you and your family right now.
<S>
Carver
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Had a scare with my wife recently but it ended up a false alarm. Even so I was like you, a nervous wreck until we got good news. I hope you both have some soon sir.
My very best wishes for you both Butcher. Donnie
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So very sorry. Thoughts and prayers.
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i sincerely hope your wife pulls through and the two of you get a chance to grow old together. though you may feel like you are, you're far from powerless. just keep doing what you have been doing for her.
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Sorry to heat it sir! If you ever need to talk , Just pm me and Ill give you the digits.. We are a close family here in spite of the Bs .. Prayers headed your way .
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Thoughts, and Hope for you.
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two weeks ago I was grumbling about my mother in law and my wifes sister coming down to visit. Work was picking up big time and I had really no time off to spare. My wife and her sister are both RN's, her sister working for a large hospital in minnesota, and my wife was about to start one here in Florida. However me being stressed out lately with work and everything else, my wife didn't tell me about an infection she had. While down here, she mentioned to her mother who rushed her to a walk in clinic - I agreed and thought nothing of it. I get a call few hours later that my wife ended up in the ER. When it rains it pours - when all the scans came back and tests, It turns out she has Stage IV breast cancer, and it has spread some to her lungs. Some know, I just recently got married to her in Feb, after years of joking I'd never get married we finally tied the knot.
Her first round of Chemo wasn't good, as expected it took a day for the side effect to kick in, but otherwise she's a strong woman even at 105lbs. I've been a total wreck for the past two weeks and lost all interest in everything except making her better and even then im powerless to do so.
She's only 32 years old, I haven't thought nothing of it only because I've always been strong as an ox and only once a year I get tested - even then I don't have insurance because frankly i'm in the middle when it comes to money (I make enough but not enough to get anything decent).
I just want everyone to not be caught in the position I was in, I thought everything was fantastic up till now, to be crushed by this terrible disease its certainly changed me. Thanks Del, Strokes and Unclkurt.
:airplane: :angel: My thoughts and PRAYERS are with you sir!!!
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:pray well wishes
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stay strong butcher. :salute
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All here, self, family and friends, have you and yours in our prayers, thoughts and wishes.
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Like I said in the text to you Butcher, anyone in this community will be there if you ask them. :salute
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Stay strong Butcher! She's defiantly in my thoughts and prayers! :pray
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Truly sorry to hear this Butcher , I wish your wife well and hope better days lie ahead. :salute
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Anything I can do bud call me :salute
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Butcher you have nothing but my deepest sympathies. I lost my father almost a year ago to Stage 4 Colon cancer. It was found very late and despite him having almost a foot of his colon removed and many rounds of Chemo the Cancer ended up getting the best of him. He was 63.
Last spring I had a Colonoscopy done. After seeing what my dad went through I wasn't about to wait until I was 50. At 36 years old they found nine polyps in me, most of which tested "pre-cancerous" - meaning that if I had waited until I was 50 it would have likely been too late. Right near the end when my Dad couldn't handle the chemo anymore and agreed to hospice care he told me that it was all worth it to him knowing that he probably saved my life. My Dad was by far the most selfless man I've ever known.
Listen. Please understand that the last thing I want to do is hurt you and like I said I have nothing but the deepest sympathies for you but you have to look at this realistically. You and your wife have a very long and hard road ahead of you and at Stage 4 the long term prognosis of this isn't good. Cherish every moment you have with her and make life as good as possible for her as you can. Apply for disability benefits NOW if she qualifies (my dad did and they didn't even fight his claim) as you'll need every penny you can get.
She's going to be facing depression and anxiety and there are days she's not going to want to fight. You have to keep her motivated and as happy as possible. You have no idea how important mental health is during all of this. The good news is that she's still young and strong and don't let her give in. No matter how hard it gets and how much it pains you, you have to be strong around her and maintain a positive attitude. But no matter what you can not forget to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You're not going to be of much help to her if you're having trouble managing your own depression and lack of motivation. Go out with friends when you can. See a counselor. Find support groups. I can not stress enough how important this is.
This is something you don't want to hear but I have to tell you. Eventually down the road you two will end up having to make her health care decisions based on quality of life more so than quantity. Hopefully this will be years away but Cancer treatments can be extremely unpredictable and you have to be prepared. Take care of the Legal issues NOW. Get power of attorney and get a living will taken care of ASAP. Hopefully she will fight her way out of this but as hard as it is you have to be prepared. The last thing you want is to face major legal issues when things are at their worst. You don't necessarily have to hire a lawyer - there should be counselors where she's being treated that can help you two with all this.
I really do wish you the best of luck. I know, it's not fair. Not fair at all. Take it day by day and help her enjoy every day as much as humanly possible.
Do NOT be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of free resources out there to help you through this but no one can read your mind. Trust me they've seen it all. Don't be afraid to ask.
Also don't hesitate to PM me. If nothing else you can vent your frustrations to me. :salute
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Butcher, you and your wife are in my thoughts & prayers :salute
LtngRydr
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My family's prayers will be with you.
boo
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Prayers and positive thoughts to you and family. I've been through hell and back this past year myself. PM me if you'd like and I'd be happy to chat with you by phone.
:salute
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All the best to you and the family Butcher. I wish I had a magic answer. Do your best to stay strong for your wife. She's going to need it.
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Mere words mean so little in the pain you must be feeling. Our entire family will keep you in our hearts and wish for nothing but the best results possible for you and your new bride. It means so little but bud if ever you need something, please ask; don't go through this alone. Salute
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Prayers for you and wife :pray
Oz
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Prayers from our family to yours Butcher. :pray
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:pray Prayers for you and your wife and family.
Zaphod
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Keep in mind that many have gone through something similar. You are not alone in this. :salute :pray
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Let's just all hope she beats it.
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Hang on in there Butcher. Thinking of you and your family :salute
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Anything we can do please let us know.
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Hoping that you and your wife have many years together to look forward to. Hang in there brother.
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That's awful news. Stay strong for her. :pray
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:pray
Sending one up for you guys.
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Butcher,
We have flown together for years and I know how much your bride means to you. I will eco DH's post, that is if there is anything I or the Squad can do for you just let us know. Brother, my prayers are with you an yours
v/r
Jamie
Tull :salute
JAMES W GENTRY III
Contractor, Northrop Grumman
Mission Command Training Support Program (MCTSP)
Senior Training Advisor (STA)
278th Armored Cavalry Regiment, TN ARNG
Cell 865-803-4048
jamiewgiii@aol.com
james.w.gentry8.ctr@mail.mil
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They can do amazing things these days. Keep as positive as you can.
Our best to you both.
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I would really like something profound and courageous to say but this caught me completely off-guard. From mine to yours, we'll light up the prayer factory my friend.
God I hate cancer...
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Laughter is great medicine. Keep your spirits up, keep hers higher. God bless both of you. <S>
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Butcher, stay strong, and take care of yourself, good mojo sent to you and your family !
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Im so sorry to hear this Butch, cant imagine how hard it must be to handle this
Be strong and be there for her.
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You and your family are in our prayers.
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:pray sorry to hear about the bad news, cancer sucks, seems as everyone is getting it these days :frown. your family is in my families prayers :pray :pray stay strong for her, you guys will have many more years of happy marriage :aok
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My thoughts and prayers for you and yours Butcher.
:pray
Sik
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Well a small update, the wife is coming home tomarrow, she is taking shots every other day - so far she's in great spirit just very tired. I think she is taking the shots for chemo, not sure entirely sure - ironically I asked my mother in law to stay with me so she can help watch over her, my german shepherd now loses his bed (the couch) and I now will end up eating rice 75% of my day (mother in law gets my bed, and I get the couch...ouch yes!)
I plan on having a nice party for her thursday, I will try to post some photos in the next day or so - but quite a few of my tenants (I own rental property) plan on showing up wanting to throw a huge welcome home party, dunno if she will have the strength but i will wheel her butt outside anyway.
thanks to everyone for the kind words, cheers!
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Well a small update, the wife is coming home tomarrow, she is taking shots every other day - so far she's in great spirit just very tired. I think she is taking the shots for chemo, not sure entirely sure - ironically I asked my mother in law to stay with me so she can help watch over her, my german shepherd now loses his bed (the couch) and I now will end up eating rice 75% of my day (mother in law gets my bed, and I get the couch...ouch yes!)
I plan on having a nice party for her thursday, I will try to post some photos in the next day or so - but quite a few of my tenants (I own rental property) plan on showing up wanting to throw a huge welcome home party, dunno if she will have the strength but i will wheel her butt outside anyway.
thanks to everyone for the kind words, cheers!
that's awesome butcher, happy for you buddy, and looking forward to the pics :aok :aok :cheers: :salute :pray
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Well a small update, the wife is coming home tomarrow, she is taking shots every other day - so far she's in great spirit just very tired. I think she is taking the shots for chemo, not sure entirely sure - ironically I asked my mother in law to stay with me so she can help watch over her, my german shepherd now loses his bed (the couch) and I now will end up eating rice 75% of my day (mother in law gets my bed, and I get the couch...ouch yes!)
I plan on having a nice party for her thursday, I will try to post some photos in the next day or so - but quite a few of my tenants (I own rental property) plan on showing up wanting to throw a huge welcome home party, dunno if she will have the strength but i will wheel her butt outside anyway.
thanks to everyone for the kind words, cheers!
:angel: Glad things are a little better
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Butcher,
That is grave news, I wish you both the best. Only 1 of 4 of my relatives/close friends that have undergone chemo survived. The more I look around, the more I've begun to doubt conventional wisdom on this subject. Here's a few links to help your doubt along as well. Have hope, ask questions. :salute
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBUGVkmmwbk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&wide=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Joj0Qc-bkc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6p0bEr7RIo
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Sorry to hear, Thoughts are with you and your wife. Glad to hear she's coming home. :pray
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Sorry to hear, Thoughts are with you and your wife. Glad to hear she's coming home. :pray
Sadly it didn't last, she got her injection the night before, the entire night she was tossing a turning, and woke up throwing up, I had to rush her to the hospital because of dehydration since she barely ate (rice) and had nothing to drink - it turns out I was right and she was dangerously dehydrated.
Hopefully monday on her first appointment to the oncologist I can learn more, her first round of shots are done and she needs two weeks to rest before the next round. I did find out this is not a few shots, its going to go on for 6 months. I don't know if she can handle that much.
For now she is resting in the hospital again, no medications I know of other then the IVs otherwise she is asleep and resting peacefully for now. I partially blame myself, I wanted her home where I could care for her, apparently It was a little hasty.
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Sadly it didn't last, she got her injection the night before, the entire night she was tossing a turning, and woke up throwing up, I had to rush her to the hospital because of dehydration since she barely ate (rice) and had nothing to drink - it turns out I was right and she was dangerously dehydrated.
Hopefully monday on her first appointment to the oncologist I can learn more, her first round of shots are done and she needs two weeks to rest before the next round. I did find out this is not a few shots, its going to go on for 6 months. I don't know if she can handle that much.
For now she is resting in the hospital again, no medications I know of other then the IVs otherwise she is asleep and resting peacefully for now. I partially blame myself, I wanted her home where I could care for her, apparently It was a little hasty.
this sux man......I cant imagine what you are going through......
I pray for her and you.
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Keep the Faith ...Thoughts and Prayer with you
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:pray
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two weeks ago I was grumbling about my mother in law and my wifes sister coming down to visit. Work was picking up big time and I had really no time off to spare. My wife and her sister are both RN's, her sister working for a large hospital in minnesota, and my wife was about to start one here in Florida. However me being stressed out lately with work and everything else, my wife didn't tell me about an infection she had. While down here, she mentioned to her mother who rushed her to a walk in clinic - I agreed and thought nothing of it. I get a call few hours later that my wife ended up in the ER. When it rains it pours - when all the scans came back and tests, It turns out she has Stage IV breast cancer, and it has spread some to her lungs. Some know, I just recently got married to her in Feb, after years of joking I'd never get married we finally tied the knot.
Her first round of Chemo wasn't good, as expected it took a day for the side effect to kick in, but otherwise she's a strong woman even at 105lbs. I've been a total wreck for the past two weeks and lost all interest in everything except making her better and even then im powerless to do so.
She's only 32 years old, I haven't thought nothing of it only because I've always been strong as an ox and only once a year I get tested - even then I don't have insurance because frankly i'm in the middle when it comes to money (I make enough but not enough to get anything decent).
I just want everyone to not be caught in the position I was in, I thought everything was fantastic up till now, to be crushed by this terrible disease its certainly changed me. Thanks Del, Strokes and Unclkurt.
Hang in there Butcher, I've had a month from hell too (finals, office move, 4-weeks of backpay due - not as bad as yours though, tbh), but the sun shines brightest after the darkest storms. Chemo is imho worse or as bad as the cancer itself, it's brutal to the body, and I've seen lots of money wasted on those perscriptions that don't really help too much.
:pray
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Sadly it didn't last, she got her injection the night before, the entire night she was tossing a turning, and woke up throwing up, I had to rush her to the hospital because of dehydration since she barely ate (rice) and had nothing to drink - it turns out I was right and she was dangerously dehydrated.
Hopefully monday on her first appointment to the oncologist I can learn more, her first round of shots are done and she needs two weeks to rest before the next round. I did find out this is not a few shots, its going to go on for 6 months. I don't know if she can handle that much.
For now she is resting in the hospital again, no medications I know of other then the IVs otherwise she is asleep and resting peacefully for now. I partially blame myself, I wanted her home where I could care for her, apparently It was a little hasty.
take care friend i'll pray for you
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:pray