Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Heater on September 10, 2013, 06:03:25 AM
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1."Yea though I fly through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
2."You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
3."The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
4."Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
5."If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
6."When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
7."Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."
8."What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot messes up, the pilot dies; if an ATC messes up, ... The pilot dies."
9."Never trade luck for skill."
10."Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
11."Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
12."A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
13."Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there."
14."When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."
15."Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a rainy day."
16.Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a plane crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
17."The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
18."A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum." - Jon McBride, astronaut
19."If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash scene as possible." - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
20."Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
21."If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
22."Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
23."You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
24.As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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:rofl :aok
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22."Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
For the win.
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6."When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
I like that one.
- oldman
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24.As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
:lol This was my favorite.
Coogan
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23."You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
I know this from experience.......
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I like that one.
- oldman
Reminds me of the Ron White joke about a commuter plane that lost an engine.
Freaked passenger: How far can we fly on one engine?
Ron: All the way to the scene of the crash. But don't worry, we'll get there a good 1/2 hour before the paramedics.
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"I'd rather be down here wishing I were up there, than up there wishing I were down here."
"He ran out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time"
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"He ran out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time"
Hang on Ronnie!
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:rofl
:aok :aok
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.....and the all too famous "Hey, watch this!".
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IFR- I Follow Roads
You have old pilots and bold pilots, but no old bold pilots!
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Airspeed is life, altitude is life insurance.
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Dead-stick, out of ammo, fuel, and altitude? Well, at least you're not on fire...yet!
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I'm a little high, but at least I'm fast......
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Another one from the original "Airport":
Well all right, Daddy. Now you tell me about when you were a war hero. You flew those pursuit jobs you could land in a parking lot. But when I'm setting down over 200,000 pounds of 707, I want something under my wheels that's plenty long and mighty dry.
- oldman
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From the way back machine:
3 most useless things to a pilot:
1} The altitude above you
2} The runway behind you
3) The fuel still in the fuel truck
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From the way back machine:
3 most useless things to a pilot:
1} The altitude above you
Unless there's a wirby down there. :old:
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"If your not ahead of the airplane you could have a nasty surprise ahead of you" - an old flight instructor.
"What's it doing now?"- Airbus pilots
"I can't get a F#@! tone" - F-14 pilot with his sidewinder growl volume turned down while fighting two hostile Libyan MiG-23's
"What are mountain goats doing up here?" - The Far Side
"Landing is simply a controlled mid air collision with a planet"
"Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself." - Lost student pilot
"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return." - unkown author
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The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation..
1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
2. Me? I've never busted minimum’s.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
8. I'm a member of the mile high club.
9. I only need glasses for reading.
10. I broke out right at minimum’s.
11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
12. Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
15. We shipped the part yesterday.
16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.
17. All you have to do is follow the book.
18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
23. Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
24. We'll be home by lunchtime.
25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
26. I'm always glad to see the FAA.
27. We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
28. It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
29. I thought YOU took care of that.
30. I've got the field in sight.
31. I've got the traffic in sight.
32. Of course I know where we are.
33. I'm SURE the gear was down.
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Another oldie:
"Doctors can bury their mistakes - pilots are buried in theirs"
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Also....."why's it doing THAT?!".
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"Did you feel that?"
- Every single engine pilot at night
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Here is one from the crash barn on Okinawa. ..
You crash, we dash.
You burn, we learn.
Bloddy red or charcoal black,
We don't care we bring'em bac.
Also one on the flight repair hangar. .
It takes a college education to fly and crash a plane.
It takes a highschool education to put the fire out and put the plane back together, who's smartest.
LawnDart
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Those are awesome!!!! Thanks for sharing!
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:salute what a hoot :cheers:
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One of the most famous last words of pilot's:
"oh s%#!"
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squawk codes
75 taken alive
76 technical glitch
77 going to heaven!