Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: WWhiskey on March 29, 2014, 09:32:37 AM
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Murphy's laws of armor!
Just after you report “Redcon 1″ (Readiness Condition 1 – ready to move out right “now”) for your qualification run, you will realize that you desperately need to take a leak.
The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before he gets to your tank. Corollary: You will run out of fuel before he returns
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Tanks don’t float.
If a supply sergeant is given a choice between death and going to the field with his unit, he will ask for a few minutes to “Think it over.”
Attempting to help recover a mired tank will only result in your tank becoming mired also.
The primary purpose of an operations order is to ensure that all blame falls on the line units. Corollary: For this reason, the staff will not publish an operations order until after the exercise is completed.
Night vision devices will only fail at night. Corollary: They will function perfectly once the sun rises.
The dirtier and more tired you are, the less appreciative you become of “constructive criticism” from somebody in a pristine uniform.
The heater on your tank will fail in October. The part to repair it will arrive in April.
No matter how minor the ailment, a visit to the medics will result in an I.V. Corollary: Arguing with the medics about this will result in your being evacuated in a neck brace and back board (in addition to the I.V.).
When loading the main gun, remember: “pointy end first.”
The only times you will throw a track (that flexible band of metal and rubber the tank travels on) are: a. At night, b. in the rain, c. during the movement back to garrison, or d. one hour after you installed the new ones.
Your vehicle will go NMC (Not Mission Capable – deadlined ) right after the contact team leaves the AO (Area of Operations).
All infantry fighting vehicles don’t look alike.
Shaking trees to your front mean that you are being hunted by helicopters.
When you are told your engineer support was needed elsewhere, the bridge will be out.
The exercise will finish and you’ll get back to garrison just after the wash rack (where tanks are cleaned) closes.
If all else fails, shoot at the muzzle flashes – the larger ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry. Corollary: The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.
“Rebel yells” are not proper FM radio procedure after a successful Table VIII (The tank crew qualification test a 10 engagement run on a tank range which tank crews must successfully complete in order to be a qualified crew. Like going to the rifle range for a qualification of expert) shoot.
XO math: 3 pacs on the ground + no fueler + 2 deadlines = 100% FMC (Fully Mission Capable).
Close air support is safest from far away.
Proving that three feet of frontal armor protection will defend against any threat is probably best demonstrated on someone else”s track.
Hearing an “Aw, toejam” soon after an “on-the-waaay!” means you’re probably not getting that promotion.
Tanks are very easy to see unless you’re dismounted and they’re backing up.
The one time you skip the firing circuit test is when you have the misfire.
“GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER” (firing an anti-tank shell at a sniper) is not an appropriate use of ammunition.
It is cruel to tell NBC types “Damn, that Fox (NATO chemical/biological/nuclear weapons detection vehicle) looks like a BMP (Russian made armored vehicle used by many countries)!” – particularly when live rounds are being issued.
Blackout drive + autobahn + 0345 = polizei.
Unsecured turrets will only swing freely mid-way through a rail tunnel.
When doing a gunnery, the tank is always operational until you get to the ready line.
If you are promised “downtime”, what they really mean is: You will be breaking track.
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#5 .... yup.
(https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/t1.0-9/32311_10200137265263977_1113664154_n.jpg)
And on the last one you'll be changing all the pads too. Both sides. With almost no help from the other hogs in your platoon.
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Sounds like you had an Armor MOS (19K) I was 19D20 myself. :aok
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Sounds like you had an Armor MOS (19K) I was 19D20 myself. :aok
I can't answer for wwhiskey but I was an 1811 and an 1812 in the Marines. Same vehicles, same blood, sweat, tears and curses. Different uniform.
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I've encountered most of these rules as a 19E.
I'd like to add, "You'll never recover your own driver escape hatch."
Or, "Tanker math. Found + One driver escape hatch = one case of beer."
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One of the few things I didn't do was armor,, but I loved it, and had many friends who did!
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Another one. The range burn off you requested a week ago will be completed only by firing on that same range then waiting for the fire to be put out, the following week.
DAMHIK............ (cough cough Hauchuca mtn fire)
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:salute
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Sometimes it's great to be an 11B. ;) :salute
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Excellent :aok
Should also be noted (in reference to using the wrong ammo for the wrong job), the proximity of the gunners melon to both the commanders boot from behind, and the sight unit in front, and how they can all interact when you fire sabot on a HESH trajectory and watch the bright glowing orb disappear into the stratosphere :uhoh
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19E=M60A3 tanker
19K=M1 series tanker
Chewed dirt in both. Reminds me of the old days. If this game had either rides I would scarcley strap on a bird.
You missed a Tankers 4th General order: "I will guard my tank from flank to flank and take no S*** from any rank."
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I was cross trained in the M60A3 and the old M48A5 tanks. We were still using the M151 Jeep and the M-113 APC in the Cavalry then. Tracks only come of at night and only when it is pouring rain or snowing like mad lol. :salute
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“GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER” (firing an anti-tank shell at a sniper) is not an appropriate use of ammunition.
I would say that an HE shell would be better for that, but if that (sabot) was "in the pipe" let it fly I say. Reload with the HE.