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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Saxman on April 24, 2015, 11:24:48 PM

Title: Such a Sap
Post by: Saxman on April 24, 2015, 11:24:48 PM
Tomorrow I get to watch The One get married to another guy. There's not a bottle of Jack big enough to wash it all away; I've already tried tonight.

But I can't get out of it. I said I'd go so, I'm going, because that's the kind of person I am. Just gotta put on my big boy pants and be the better person.

P. T. Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute. I, apparently, am one of them.

 :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Saxman on April 24, 2015, 11:25:42 PM
I need a few more head-wall emotiwhatsists.

 :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead :bhead 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Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Scherf on April 24, 2015, 11:46:38 PM
Sorry to hear, man.

Don't begrudge yourself what you are - you can either accept it or deny it, latter never works.


Nor, incidentally do Jack and Johnny Red, in the long term, fwiw.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: ROC on April 25, 2015, 12:21:23 AM
Hey Saxman, this is a tough one to chime in on.  You know better than anyone else what is the right thing to do.

The One.  The one wants you there?  The One knows your going to suffer through it?

That one, isn't the one.   Go do something else.   I don't know a damned thing about what the entire situation is.  But I do know this. You owe no one anything.  You said you'd go so you feel obligated.   You are not obligated to a thing.  You put that on yourself.  Do you want to go?  That's a Yes or No that you need to honestly answer to your self.  That's all you owe anyone.  It's ok to tell someone to go pound sand and simply walk away. 

If she really was "The One", you wouldn't be having this conversation with anyone.   

Ya, Ya, I know, I'm a cruel, cold and heartless bastard.  It's served me well, and my relationships are more honest now because of it.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Spikes on April 25, 2015, 12:28:28 AM
I took a couple of shots for ya...but I agree with ROC. It obviously isn't the one. Everything happens for a reason.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: FLOOB on April 25, 2015, 01:50:51 AM
So you're punishing yourself for doing something you know was wrong, that is not declining the invitation. You agreed to be friend-zoned, that never works. Maybe this way you'll learn.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: MrRiplEy[H] on April 25, 2015, 02:03:03 AM
Hey Saxman, this is a tough one to chime in on.  You know better than anyone else what is the right thing to do.

The One.  The one wants you there?  The One knows your going to suffer through it?

That one, isn't the one.   Go do something else.   I don't know a damned thing about what the entire situation is.  But I do know this. You owe no one anything.  You said you'd go so you feel obligated.   You are not obligated to a thing.  You put that on yourself.  Do you want to go?  That's a Yes or No that you need to honestly answer to your self.  That's all you owe anyone.  It's ok to tell someone to go pound sand and simply walk away. 

If she really was "The One", you wouldn't be having this conversation with anyone.   

Ya, Ya, I know, I'm a cruel, cold and heartless bastard.  It's served me well, and my relationships are more honest now because of it.

Sometimes 'the one' is 'the old friend' which makes you obligated to join the party. The real question is does she know that her friend actually was in love or not.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: RotBaron on April 25, 2015, 02:04:29 AM
Is she going to stop the wedding with your absence?...

Get out now; else you'll be seeing her babies on facebook in a couple years and their vacations in Hawaii or Tahiti. Leave her in the dust and don't look back; what good will come of it?

Go find the one.

Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: danny76 on April 25, 2015, 05:10:17 AM
^^^^^^ This!

Is the only answer!
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Copprhed on April 25, 2015, 06:14:28 AM
I've been through the "I'll do anything not to lose her completely" thing. IT DOES NOT WORK! You end up miserable and USED. There is ONLY ONE reason that she would want you to stick around, and it's totally selfish on her part. She isn't concerned with your best interests, only her own. Turn around walk away and NEVER speak to her again. Anything else will leave you in misery.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: pipz on April 25, 2015, 07:58:30 AM

 :aok   To all that and what the others have said! I wouldn't go. Hell I woulda been gone long ago. Play AH instead or go out and have some fun. "The one" is an illusion. There are "many". Of course it is your call Saxman.

She doesn't play with your garbage bins by chance does she? ...forget that.................

And here I thought your biggest mistake was flying Corsairs................ :D

Chin up old man! Pip pip! Over the top a wot!

<S>
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Bizman on April 25, 2015, 01:47:00 PM
The hardest way to tell how much you care is to let her have her will. If that means separate lives, so be it. Trying to tie another person to you against her true will will only bring misery sooner or later. Cry some, die some, learn some, live on and let others do the same. Find another rib of yours and try again with better luck. I know by experience.  :salute
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Wmaker on April 25, 2015, 02:07:03 PM
 :salute Saxman!

You won't hear any advice from me...

It sucks.

This can be all crap at times. I'll take two and more for you as well...
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Saxman on April 25, 2015, 05:49:06 PM
:salute Saxman!

You won't hear any advice from me...

It sucks.

This can be all crap at times. I'll take two and more for you as well...

Thanks for getting it, WM. Sometimes you just need to make a whiskey-fueled rant of frustration.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: JimmyC on April 25, 2015, 09:04:42 PM
Don't know how young you are..
But glad I did not stick with 'the one'..
When it all went Pete tong..
Found a much better one a few years later..
Move on bro..
Sink a few
Bang a few
Relax and live life
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Arlo on April 25, 2015, 09:44:46 PM
Sax, it's hard. Stick with it. The real ... One ... is coming.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Swoop on April 26, 2015, 12:36:55 AM
The only consolation you can rely on is the knowledge that the pain will go away, eventually.

The trick is not to become a drunk/addict/depression victim while you're waiting.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: USRanger on April 26, 2015, 01:06:46 PM
I've been through the "I'll do anything not to lose her completely" thing. IT DOES NOT WORK! You end up miserable and USED. There is ONLY ONE reason that she would want you to stick around, and it's totally selfish on her part. She isn't concerned with your best interests, only her own. Turn around walk away and NEVER speak to her again. Anything else will leave you in misery.

As someone who is in the 9th month of this "condition", I can say this statement is 100% truth.  Even though I know this, I have yet to break free of it.  It really is worse than physical pain.  Actually sometimes it gets so bad, it feels like physical pain.  Hang in there brother.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: DmonSlyr on April 26, 2015, 01:28:58 PM
I asked my best friend out a few months after we graduated college and it was a crap show. We hung ouy every day just her and I and we went hiking, out to eat, played tennis, did almost everything just her and I, made a great team and had a lot in common.  I ended up falling for her pretty hard. She turned me down and I tried so hard to convice her to be my girlfriend. It shot me right in the heart and I didn't understand it. She ended up dating a guy her friend wanted her to date a few weeks after that she didnt even know, not to mention I hated those people. I went through a year of mental anguish. I told her she was trash and said mean things which I regreted. I did appologize and told her that I hoped she was happy but that I never wanted to talk to or see her again. It really sucked, and I still think of her. but it was what I had to do. I have no clue how she is doing now. She said I cared too much, and now I don't care at all. That's what she gets.

After giving up on women and literally doing everything by myself for a few months, I found a wonderful girl who treats me amazingly. Our lives fit perfectly. Far better than that other girl. Not to mention she has a doctorate and makes a ton of money. She cares for me and appreciates me. The other girl was nearly a fathom of what I thought I wanted. But this new girl is the real deal.

Just let her go and forget about her. You will always have her in your head. But there is a girl who actually wants to make you feel good and who actually cares for you, who doesn't just use you for your intelligence.  Let that girl live her life without you. Do things by yourself and get out of the house.

I know how you feel man and it is time to forget about being friends with girls and I hate to say it, but get them to put out as fast as you can. That is how women are. If you don't try anything romantic in the first month they will see you as a friend.  Now go try your hardest to get laid and and forget about it.

Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: ghi on April 26, 2015, 01:43:23 PM
Hey Saxman, this is a tough one to chime in on.  You know better than anyone else what is the right thing to do.

The One.  The one wants you there?  The One knows your going to suffer through it?

That one, isn't the one.   Go do something else.   I don't know a damned thing about what the entire situation is.  But I do know this. You owe no one anything.  You said you'd go so you feel obligated.   You are not obligated to a thing.  You put that on yourself.  Do you want to go?  That's a Yes or No that you need to honestly answer to your self.  That's all you owe anyone.  It's ok to tell someone to go pound sand and simply walk away. 

If she really was "The One", you wouldn't be having this conversation with anyone.   

Ya, Ya, I know, I'm a cruel, cold and heartless bastard.  It's served me well, and my relationships are more honest now because of it.
100% agreed;  :aok :aok
Yoga teaches to avoid strong attachments, waste of vital and spiritual energy;we are polygamous from nature like most mammals, and love is just a temporary trick used by nature to perpetuate species; sooner or later one kisses and the other just offers his/her face ; still they say the highest quality of life living is reached in a climax of love; 
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Swoop on April 26, 2015, 10:43:58 PM
I always said you were a bit weird ghi...

 :aok
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Ack-Ack on April 27, 2015, 08:36:00 PM
Just say that you got a case of food poisoning and you can't make it.
Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: oboe on April 27, 2015, 08:42:52 PM
Here's hoping it went OK for you Saxman, whatever you chose to do.

Title: Re: Such a Sap
Post by: Zimme83 on April 27, 2015, 10:07:20 PM
Guess we have all been there but there are no "the One". there are a lot of attractive and nice women out there. Find one that u like enough to spend your life with and spend your life with her. Dont become one of those patetic guys that cannot let go of their ex/crush/etc. (nothing turns chicks off more then those guys).