Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: gavor on February 06, 2002, 12:19:05 AM
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Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread. (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16)
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Carole M. Cusack
Lecturer, School of Studies in Religion
University of Sydney 2000
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Rofl gavor.:D
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I cannot stand that woman. I enjoyed reading this immensely.
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Do Jews still live by the Old Testament?
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Originally posted by hblair
Do Jews still live by the Old Testament?
I think they still adhere to all except that idiotic Creation Myth.:D
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;)
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Agreed.....whew!
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Does this mean I win by default?
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:cool:
Yep, you kicked Kieran's arse!!!
:D
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yes hb! that's exactly what it means.
:p
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LOL gavor, that's hilarious!
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Thank you thank you.
When i first read it I had to put my coke down and stifle my laughing in case the boss thought I was laughing at his dress sense.
When you're feeling up to it Kieran, I was hoping to discuss the serious side of the post. Why do people pick out the laws they can use to their own advantage and ignore the ol, thou shalt not eat unclean animals(which includes pretty much everything besides lamb). Save it for another post though.
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From another perspective...
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that
humans had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they
picked one scientist to go and tell God so.
The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided
that we no longer need you; We're to the point that we can
clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't You
just go on and get lost."
God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the
scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about
this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the
scientist replied, "Okay, great!"
"But," God added, "we're going to do this just like I did
back in the old days with Adam."
The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and
grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own
dirt."
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(http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/revbps/bricktestament/the-tower-of-babel/gn11_07.jpg)
Best example of his work can be seen on this BBS.
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Good stuff - all of it. :P :::Goes to get bag of stones:::
Mazz/Mike
<-TFC->
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Two with a point and one of those nice flat ones. And a packet of gravel.
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I am under a lot of pressure at work... as a matter of fact, just knocked off for the night (11:05pm here).
Regardless, it is a funny article when you think about it- though you know I have a different slant on it. ;)
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We can wait :). Go home and have a nice sleep, i'll start the argumen--discussion some other day.
And now for something completely different..
Lies That Australian TV Adverts Would Have Us Believe:
1) Disposable razors worth $1 each are made using space-age technology.
2) People who use brand X are mentally retarded.
3) Really sexy girls with big tits are waiting for you to call them now.
4) Every Australian dreams of buying a house.
5) When you get that house, your wife will smile and hug you on the front lawn while happy real estate agent replaces the "For Sale" sign with one that says "Sold!"
6) A bloke will always wipe his brow with his forearm after drinking beer from a can.
7) Bank tellers are happy.
8) Butchers are fat.
9) Women don't drink beer.
10) Aborigines don't exist.
11) Unless they're Ernie Dingo.
12) Skateboard riding leads to Coke drinking.
13) Milk pours in slow motion.
14) People close their eyes after drinking coffee.
15) Tony Lockett wouldn't punch out Greg Matthews for telling him he needed a hair transplant.
16) The opinions of morons emerging from cinemas are of great value.
17) Toilet paper and your arse have nothing to do with each other.
18) Stocks are limited.
19) Madness and insanity are desirable qualities in some retailers.
20) Chefs are up in arms about the increased quality of packet food.
21) All Mexicans wear sombreros, have moustaches, are quite stupid and eat nothing but corn chips.
22) John Laws still isn't sure that people know what he means when he says "Valvoline".
23) When a packet or container is empty, some sad-faced dickhead has to turn it upside down and shake it to be sure.
24) When men wear brand-new clothes they have to put their hands in their pockets.
25) Models have orgasms when they eat chocolate or icecream.
26) Girls play tennis, water ski and laugh a lot when having their
periods.
27) Single parents can pick up a root at McDonalds.