Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Kratzer on February 25, 2002, 04:03:15 PM

Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Kratzer on February 25, 2002, 04:03:15 PM: My belly aches from laughing.

http://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja.htm

"I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window."

ROFL!
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Tac on February 25, 2002, 04:06:22 PM: LOL I saw that one a while ago. This guy sure has a messed up mind.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Kratzer on February 25, 2002, 04:07:59 PM: I want a 'Ninja are so sweet I want to crap my pants' t-shirt.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Raubvogel on February 25, 2002, 04:08:07 PM: ROFL...I didn't get past the first paragraph before I lost it :D

Quote
The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
Title: Too funny!
Post by: midnight Target on February 25, 2002, 04:39:58 PM: Quote
Ninja BABE

Scene 1:

There is this super rich stupid idiot who lives in a humongous house. At his house, this guy has babes lying all over the place. The next scene is hot. The guy takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out. The audience will think that the hot babe is a normal babe, but, yeah right, she's a ninja. The ninja woman smashes the guy's head like a melon. Then all these dogs come out of nowhere and the ninja woman has to beat the dogs' asses. First she kicks this one dog right in the nuts. The dog screams and jumps out the window. Then she jumps in the air and kicks two dogs in the nuts at once! Both dogs evaporate. Every time the ninja woman kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard. Then the ninja woman has to battle the boss dog. The boss dog is huge. Before the boss dog can attack, she uppercuts the boss dog's nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.

End

-This script is awesome.

I like the guitar thing! ROFL

:D :D :D :D :D
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Octavius on February 25, 2002, 04:42:39 PM: LOL.. alternate endings

Quote

1. Hippos are mammals
2. Hippos fight ALL the time.
3. THe purpose of the hippo is to flip out and kill people.

ROFL this guy is messed up :D
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: AKDejaVu on February 25, 2002, 05:06:11 PM: LOL! The Ninja timeline:
(http://www.dbstaines.com/images/timelinepat.gif)
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Thrawn on February 25, 2002, 05:11:48 PM: This is the best site on the entire internet. It alone has proven the worth of humanity.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Dux on February 25, 2002, 05:55:39 PM: LMAO... the ninja sounds are the best!
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Wotan on February 25, 2002, 06:10:05 PM: Quote
Dear Stupid idiots,

A lot of you have been signing my guest book and saying that I don’t know anything about REAL ninjas. But that’s a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don’t know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some “code of honor”, just because you read Ching Chong’s guide to ninjas and codes and stuff. Yeah right! You shouldn’t believe everything you read. If by “code of honor”, you mean “code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet”, then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads", then you’re the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot.

No thank you,

Robert

roflmao
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: skernsk on February 25, 2002, 08:10:26 PM: I got 5 bucks that Animal is the owner of this website.....
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: easymo on February 25, 2002, 09:51:41 PM: I thought a ninja was one of those painfully uncomfortable, rice burners.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: gavor on February 25, 2002, 10:19:03 PM: Truely funny. I was expecting crap, now i want a t-shirt
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: john9001 on February 25, 2002, 11:24:27 PM: come on, for a 9 year old that "ninja" made a purdy good web site, frames and music an everything.

is "sweet" the new kiddy phrase for good stuff????
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Russian on February 25, 2002, 11:31:40 PM: Quote
Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

LOL (http://www.sukhoi.ru/forum/graemlins/lol.gif)
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Animal on February 25, 2002, 11:43:01 PM: No I'm not the author of this site, but I bow at his genious.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Tumor on February 26, 2002, 01:21:52 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Animal
No I'm not the author of this site, but I bow at his genious.

GEEZ it's GONE?? Someone else check, I can't get to it "File not Found"
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Saurdaukar on February 26, 2002, 01:44:13 AM: Im crying laughing at the posts here - I cant get into teh site ither tho!

Mazz
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Saurdaukar on February 26, 2002, 01:45:42 AM: Ok - it moved - type http://www.realultimatepower.net into your browser.

Mazz
Title: ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!
Post by: Saurdaukar on February 26, 2002, 01:50:29 AM: Ninja, Please

Scene 1:

Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy’s bellybutton bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy’s head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas then start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.

Scene 2:

A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude’s feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then the ninja starts flipping out hard and totally wails on the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and ninja starts wailing even harder (if that’s even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.

END

-I thought of this script one night right before bedtime. I got so pumped I almost kicked my mom right in the face!
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Duckwing6 on February 26, 2002, 04:02:59 AM: Heck they are EVERYWHERE !!

(http://www.little-gamers.com/images/ninja.gif)
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Sikboy on February 26, 2002, 08:07:22 AM: Gee thanks Kratzner... some of us read the boards from work... I'm going to get fired if I keep reading this... OMG, My co-workers are giving me dirty looks. I have to leave the room.... OMG, LOL, all that toejam.... oh man. I'm dying here

-Sikboy
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Kratzer on February 26, 2002, 09:34:57 AM: Quah!
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Sikboy on February 26, 2002, 09:45:32 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Kratzer
Quah!

damn dude, don't flip out and cut my head off :eek:

-Sikboy
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Nifty on February 27, 2002, 03:38:14 PM: I forsee some seriously confused individuals in AH tonight...

"WTF is all this ninja crap in the radio buffer???"

"Why the hell does Kratzer keep saying 'Quah' after he shoots someone down???"

:D
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Raubvogel on February 27, 2002, 05:24:51 PM: toonga!!
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: kidcol on February 27, 2002, 05:33:50 PM: That is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have ever seen on the web :)

I must have a coffee mug

That guy deserves a friggin Pulitzer

kid
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: gavor on February 27, 2002, 05:35:28 PM: Theres no doubt that I will soon be sporting a ninja t-shirt.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Sikboy on February 27, 2002, 08:01:12 PM: My wife didn't find it funny at all.

-Sikboy
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Thrawn on February 27, 2002, 08:30:18 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Sikboy
My wife didn't find it funny at all.

-Sikboy

Same with mine. I wonder what's wrong with them.:confused:

I hope it's not catching.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Samm on February 28, 2002, 12:34:57 AM: OMG ! This is one of the most worthwhile threads ever posted on this BB, thanks Kratzer !

"Ninjas discover flipping out thus God gives them dominion over everything sweet"

LMAO

I want the "crap my pants" T-shirt .
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Kratzer on February 28, 2002, 01:57:43 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Sikboy
My wife didn't find it funny at all.

-Sikboy

My wife laughed so hard she cried. :)
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Sikboy on February 28, 2002, 07:00:53 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Kratzer

My wife laughed so hard she cried. :)

Looks like you got a keeper. Maybe Thrawn and I need to throw ours back ;)
-Sikboy
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Sikboy on February 28, 2002, 07:07:19 AM: Disgruntled Ninja Silently Kills Co-Workers (http://www.theonion.com/onion3535/disgruntled_ninja.html)

Just wanted to Share more Ninja Related sites (This one even has Flipping out, and Cutting off of Heads!)
-Sikboy
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Hortlund on February 28, 2002, 07:30:04 AM: ROFLMAO :D

Quote

...one impaled upon cunningly folded quarterly report folders.
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: midnight Target on February 28, 2002, 11:19:27 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Sikboy

Looks like you got a keeper. Maybe Thrawn and I need to throw ours back ;)
-Sikboy

My wife IS a ninja!!:eek:
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: loser on February 28, 2002, 11:46:44 AM: holf fediddleing chit

this is the first time i ever had to take a break from browsing a website:D
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Kratzer on March 01, 2002, 05:33:45 PM: There is a new 'script' up. :)
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Wotan on March 01, 2002, 06:11:21 PM: i am fediddlein gonna have a heart attack...............

geesh this is some funny toejame some forward this to the fox network theres series in here some where

roflmoa
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Tac on March 03, 2002, 08:49:51 PM: (http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~rahjr79/ninjasmoke.jpg)

(http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~rahjr79/AirNinja.jpg)

hahahaha classic :D
Title: Ninjas!
Post by: Tumor on March 03, 2002, 10:44:00 PM: END

-this script is so hot it could make Janet Reno open up a paint can with her ding dong.

....at this point I got the first real comedy induced tears I've experienced since Carlin's discertation on public execution.