Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Thrawn on April 12, 2002, 04:59:54 PM
-
Because I get to talk to the most imbecilic morons on the face of the entire F#$$ing planet!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:
We now return you to your regularly scheduled squeaking about the middle-east.
-
I hear ya.
'No sir, that is not a cupholder, its your DVD-ROM'
-
"I AM turning on the computer!!!... the button is right on the screen!!!"
-
Me: "Please type in "Ping" sir. That's P as in Papa."
Dolt: "P as in Papa"
Me: "I as in India"
Dolt: "That's Y as in India"
Me: "No Sir, that's I as in Igloo"
Dolt: "Okay, I"
Me: "N as in November"
Dolt: "N as in November"
Me: "G as in Golf"
Dolt: "G as in Gold"
I then have him type in a URL and hit enter. The response is "Command not found".
Me: "What command did you type in sir?"
Dolt: "The one you told be to."
Me: "Which is?"
Dolt: "Eing"
Me: "Sir, please stop wasting my precious oxygen. You are too stupid to live."
Dolt: "Yes...yes I am."
-
Having just un-retired and started working tech support for a local isp. I had a nice conversation with a client this week. After looking up her pop3 name and password for her, she argued with me that they couldn't be correct because she couldn't get into her hotmail account with them.
The idiots never ceases to amaze me.
-
"no Mam.. it isn't like a refrigerator ...
please take the magnets off the computer"
-
"I don't HAVE a start button".
-
Originally posted by Gman
"I don't HAVE a start button".
Are running a Mac, sir?
I'm tech KING!!:D
-
What is this "Mac" you reffer to?
Is that a sandwich available at McDonalds?
:p.
Nice work, btw :).
-
Thanks!
Don't use Macs myself, but they are dead simple to suport, when it comes to internet connectivity.
-
Excel class (Windows knowledge prerequisite)
her: "my mouse doesn't work"
trainer: "show me"
her: picks up mouse, moves it and sets it down
trainer: tries very hard, unsuccessfully, not to laugh
-
I work for tech support as well.
Some days are good, others are nightmares. Death by telephone is how I describe my job.
There are some folks who just should not be near a computer. These are the people who call me, accuse my program of being too hard to use and then realize I do not make the program they are having trouble with.
My boss completely understands the hassles I endure and how patient I try to be with these folks. For that, and since we are out in the outskirts of town, he bought me a nice BB gun to pelt away at squirels and birds.
So, if you call me for tech support and hear a pumping sound, a small *popping* sound and a squealing squirrel...... :)
-
Lol Thrawn!..You forgot to mention you are paid in Canadian dollars..err..peso's..:)...But our beer quality makes up for that loss in exchange..
-
Originally posted by SirLoin
Lol Thrawn!..You forgot to mention you are paid in Canadian dollars..err..peso's..:)...But our beer quality makes up for that loss in exchange..
And that Sir, is the exact reason why the large corporation I work for, is openning offices all across Canada.
Why pay an American $12 is american, when you can pay a Canadian $12 in canadian.
-
So I was working at UMAX doing scanner tech support, and I get this woman who calls, seems she can't get her scanner detected.
Now this is for the old UMAX S6E a SCSI scanner and they came with a jumperless ISA scsi card.
You had to pop the card in a slot and run a install, hook the scanner up and your all set.
Now the scanning software has a little diagnostic tool that tells you where some problems can lie and I have her run it. It comes back with an error, basicaly saying no card detected.
"ma'am did you install the card in your computer?"
The woman "of course I did, but it didnt seem to fit"
Me "ok describe how you did it" (my second week on the job)
Her "well I took the plastic case off and put it inside, but I couldn't find where it went"
Me"Your computer has a plastic case?"
her "Yes it does, and I can't beleave you make a product I have to put together"
Me "well Putting a card in your computer is not a hard thing"
her "what do you mean, my computer?"
me "welll you did put the card in your computer right?"
her "NO I did not! I put it in the scanner! I am not taking my computer apart!" (she is a bit miffed at this point)
me "where did you put the card in our scanner??"
her "well I just layed it down inside!"
At this point she has to go on hold cause I have to laugh almost to the point of crying!
So I have now been doing support for 6 years and boy do I have some zingers! lol Thank god UMAX is way in the past though!
-
This is one of mine
2 hours troubleshooting a client that adamantly REFUSED to take his PC to the store to get fixed, because it had been taken 2 times before for the same issue and it remained unfixed. Per company policy I couldnt hang up (and the basterd supervisor was tapping me)..
Well, the whole thing was that this guy was saying his computer would turn off by itself when he wanted to bring it out of stand-by mode. I couldnt dissuade him from not using stand-by mode, so we had to go through all the damn t-shooting and nothing seemed to be out of order. I even had him take the mouse ball off the mouse to make extra sure the mouse wasnt activating the glitch because he moved it (the guy was totally clueless and I was desperate to try anything, no matter how stupid it seemed).
"Son, why are we taking this little ball out again?"
"To make sure moving the mouse isnt giving the computer a signal sir" (ya, we do BS talk a lot)
"What? What do you mean this little thing is doing that? Thats ridiculous. Listen kid, weve been at this for 2 damn hours blablblabla I only want the thing to turn off by its proper way, the start shutdown thingy.."
*grrr*
"...and not this thing that every time I press the damn little button on the hard disk (they all call the computer case & its innards "hard disk") it turns off by itself.
*WTF!*
"Sir you're telling me that you're trying to bring the computer out of standby by pressing the button on the box, not by pressing a key or moving the mouse?"
"Hell no! Thats what that button is there, just like my teevee"
AAAAARRGHHHHHHHHH
The moron was pressing the reset/power shutdown button. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.
-
Funny. My experience with tech support has been just the opposite. People where I work come to me with software problems. Almost 100% of the time the problem is not their fault. I tell them that what they want to accomplish, which should be possible and supported by the software, doesn't actually work, because the software is a worthless piece of crud written by contract programmers in Bangladesh. They then get angry with me because they think I am just trying to get out of teaching them what they are doing wrong. Then they call or email tech support and the person on the other end generally is completely clueless- asking them stupid irrelevant questions or claiming the problem is their fault for having incompatible drivers (anything to make them go away or deflect the problem to some other vendor).
But I guess the dozen or so cases that I have seen go this way are just anomalous and what you guys say is correct: all computer software and hardware is perfect and the user base (your customers) are 100% idiots and morons.
The computer field, especially software, is truly amazing. I suspect in no other endeavor do the vendors have such vitriolic blind contempt for their own customers, who keep them in business.
-
Ahhh... yes... its always the customer.
I do remember when I bought my Voodoo 3 video card.
Me: Yes, my video locks up after being on for 3 minutes. Its very consistant.
Tech: Have you tried rebooting your computer?
Me: Yes. Every time it locks up.
Tech: Reboot it again and see if the problem is still there.
Me: OK... rebooted... the problem is still there.
Tech: De-install your drivers and then re-install them.
Me: OK... I'll try that again.
Me: Done... still locks up.
Tech: Try rebooting again.
Me: OK.. still locks up.
Tech: You'll have to buy a fan for the chip on the video card... its overheating.
Me: Overheating after 3 minutes?
Tech: Yes, its a problem with the card.
Me: Do you sell a fan for it?
Tech: No.
Me: What do I use for a fan then?
Tech: We recommend zip-tieing an i486 fan to the unit.
Me: One more question... why did you have me reboot my computer 8 times?
Tech: Sometimes that solves the problem.
Or...
Me: Yes, I'm having problems calibrating my joystick under NT 4.0.
MSTech: NT 4.0 does not support analog joysticks.
Me: Then why did you include a driver for analog joysticks?
MSTech: We didn't. There is no joystick driver for NT 4.0.
Me: Then what is this file called joystick driver?
MSTech: Oh. Let me check with a supervisor.
MSTech: OK.. it seems we do have a joystick driver. What's the problem.
Me: It doesn't work.
MSTech: We don't support joysticks under NT 4.0.
Me: A driver written by your company does not work. Do you support that?
MSTech: Well... ummmm... I guess... just a sec.
MSTech: I have to transfer you to level 2 tech support. There is a $97 fee for that.
Me: Figures.
After coughing up the dough... 6 months later I am rewarded with a simple bullet in SP 5: "Fixed axis out of band error in joystick.dll"
Its been very rare that tech support has been of any help. Its strange... but I swear its a certain % of people that are just completely clueless. I see it when I call tech support. Tech support sees it when they are called.
AKDejaVu
-
customer:"windows says it can't see any printers attached to my computer,i've put the printer right in front of the screen,what could be wrong?"
me "could you hold a second please",wipes spittle off screen and composes self.... :)
-
I listened to a sitaution about tech support... something local.... but man, it has all the makings of urban legend so I'm highly skeptical. The tech support guy ended up getting fired. Have any of you heard this or a variation of it?:
A tech support guy was trying to help this woman through her problems with a computer she just bought. I forget exactly what she was saying, but finally the tech guy said "Ok, I understand. What you need to do is put that computer back in its box and march it down to the store you bought it from and ask for a refund".
She says somethething like "Ah ok, so what is the problem then? What do I tell the people at the store when I return it?"
He says "Tell them you are too shrecking stupid to operate a computer".
-
715
no software is perfect, and not all problems are solvable, tech support is a pretty complicated thing with so many computer configuratiuons out there.
You saying all tech support is aragant and hates there customers is pretty rude to tech support people and assuming this thread is about anyone who calls support does not make sense.
Do support people have contempt for their customers? Yes we do, sometimes, but only the ones who are total idiots.
The ones who will not help themselves by reading the damn manaul.
The ones who claim it is not there computer, then go and get the right video drivers or DX and it works.
Most customers are fine and I am happy to help them, and I like being able to solve Their problems.
I also like geting a customers to help in tracking down a bug so we can fix it.
Try the job before you go critisising the people who do it. Or at least don't lump all support together, there are good support departments and bad one just like there are good customers and bad ones.
All I ask of a customer is that they follow directions, and I keep it simple, if they can't do that they are clueles.
Oh one more thing, How good of support do you think you are going to get on software sold for 50 bucks, with a 5 buck margin when an average support call cost 8bucks or more?
AKDejaVu
Damn thats is pretty bad in both cases, and sucks, lol I bet both where outsource houses.
the ONE time I ever called support I waited like an hour on the phone to Linksys, and when I finaly got them they fixed my problem in less then ten minutes, no BS, I was so impressed I didnt even give him toejam about the hold times.
-
I've heard that too, nash, but I'm betting on urban legend. Tech support guys aren't that stupid. :)
-
couldn't do tech support
nu uh.. no way
not that kind anyway. I'd get fired :D
-
1) I can't find my start bar
(autohide handsomehunk)
2) My hard drive crashed it says invalid system disk
(pull the floppy out and hit enter)
3) The internet is down
(I highly doubt it, it's probably just you)
4) cannot process report
(remove the binder that is resting on all the function keys, can't you hear that friggen incessant beeping noise?????)
5) Cannot access Word
(It's in the recycle bin)
6) I didnt' put it there
(yes, yes you did handsomehunk, don't lie)
7) Someone must be breaking into my office and putting it in there
(you are completely insane)
8) I demand a new door lock
(I don't do door locks buh freako)
It never stops....
Kanth
"I have a quick question"
-
Can I get that part mailed to me next day air?
No?
why not? im a paying costumer! I demand blablablablablabla
what? I have to pay the cost of next day air to get it rushed to me?
how much?
2 dollars.. umm.. ok forget it, send it regular mail.
*click*
-
Some weeks after I had got ADSL, I couldn't get to net and called tech support.
I describe the problem and then tech supporter tells me to dial with the ADSL at a dial-up number and try login in there to check my account.
I ask from her that how am I supposed to call with ADSL, when it's static connection and you can't even call to a number with ADSL.
she gets bit unsure sounding and unsurely says something about one needs to dial to a number to get connected to the internet.
Then I tell once again that you can't call with ADSL, thats for modems and ISDN's.
She then replies that is what she was told and was told to say..
well great.. customer teaching tech support? ;)
anyway, she passed information to somewhere else and later came out there was some setting wrong for my connection at the ISP.
-
http://www.techtales.com :)
-
Deja and Fishu, you comprise approx. 1% of my calls. I LOVE people like you, providing you are willing to listen to me. If I get knowledgable people calling, I let policy ride. As the call is going take about 10% of the time it normally will take.
But realise this...you are the exception.
Me: "How can I help you?"
Not so Dolt: "Look, I've all ready rebooted my computer, and have power cycled my modem at the same time. I've also have a valid IP address, and have pinged out. I've run a trace route and you appear to have a router problem. The actual physical location of the router that is having difficulty is here.... Can you get the NOC guys to look into it?"
Me: "YES, SIR!"
-
These types of people do not exist.
unless you add that they also switched out their monitor, stepped on their mouse and tried deleting things that looked suspicious.
Kanthy
Originally posted by Thrawn
Not so Dolt: "Look, I've all ready rebooted my computer, and have power cycled my modem at the same time. I've also have a valid IP address, and have pinged out. I've run a trace route and you appear to have a router problem. The actual physical location of the router that is having difficulty is here.... Can you get the NOC guys to look into it?"
-
Originally posted by Thrawn
Deja and Fishu, you comprise approx. 1% of my calls. I LOVE people like you, providing you are willing to listen to me. If I get knowledgable people calling, I let policy ride. As the call is going take about 10% of the time it normally will take.
But realise this...you are the exception.
Just so you also realize that good tech support is just about as rare. I love it when someone actually walks me through a problem... I just can't remember it happening more than two times.
To be honest... half the people who frequent these boards probably know more than 90% of the tech support people out there. You just seldomely hear from them because they'd just assume knaw off their right arm as waste 2 hours on the phone just to ask if they tried re-booting.
AKDejaVu
-
Heh.
Just like getting a so-called Network Admin on the line screaming at you because his system doesnt work...
When I began to tell him step by step how to get to device manager, he very petulantly demanded I didnt treat him like an idiot, he was a sys admin!!!.
Ok...
"Alright, lets go to device manager and check.."
"the what?"
"Device Manager"
"Where's that?"
*sigh*
Or better yet,
I once had some real smartass furious because he had followed a previous tech's instructions to restore his kernel32 file ... the system we sold him was a win98 according to the records..
and it wasnt until his tongue slipped that we realized the moron was using a win95 CD to fix his win98 system. And of course, using System File Checker to get the file from the CD-ROM had put in the win95 kernel on win98.. and the result was beyond words. If there ever was a blue screen of death that screamed "IMBECILE" at you, this one did. Bwhaha.
-
Well, iI do take some pride in the service I give to folks, but sometimes I want to throw the frakin phone across the street, through a window.
Caller: What do I need to get an Internet connection?
Me: You need a modem in your computer.
Caller: Oh,..I need a computer?
Me: Yes, you need a computer.
Caller: How much do they cost?
Me: Depends on the make, model, and options you pick.
Caller: Oh,..would the Chevrolet dealer be able to help me?
Me: No, you need to go to a computer store.
Caller: Which one?
Me: There are many, CompUSA, AllTex, Gateway, Best Buy.
Caller: But can they install it for me?
Me: You need to ask them.
Caller: Well, I dont have a lot of room in my car. Are these computers small?
Me: You can get what is called a laptop, which is smaller than a briefcase in most cases.
Caller: How easy is it to use?
Me: Not too bad, if you read the manual, or ask the sales person they can let you try it.
Caller: Oh, so I can take it for a test?
Me: You need to ask the sales person about that.
Caller: Well, you are not being very helpful.
Me: I am trying to help as much as I can.
Caller: I think I need to talk to another ISP, if that is the best you can do.
Me: That is your choice.
Caller: Let me speak to your boss!
Me: I am the boss.
Caller: Well, treating customers this way will get you run out of business, and I help that is exactly what happens to you! How long have you been in business?
Me: Almost 7 years.
Caller: Hmmphfff. It is a wonder. People must be really dumb to use you for Internet.
Me: That is thier choice.
Caller: Well, just goes to show how stupid some people are.
This is a call I just took 10 minutes ago. I didn't know whether to laugh or to pull the phone out of the wall.
I get all manner of calls from people everyday. Some good, and some not so good. Most days it is good, so I am grateful for a call like above to remind me there are some good people out there and thank goodness most people are not like the one above.
-
Originally posted by Skuzzy
Caller: Let me speak to your boss!
Me: I am the boss.
My god, I wish I could say this just once.:D
-
Thursday I got a call asking if I could install a video card, the guy said a man at the flea market made him a good deal on a ATI Radeon 8500 ($90.00) but he wasn't comfortable with installing it himself.
Sure I told him, bring it by and I'll install it for you. He dropped off the PC and card Friday morning otw to work.
I finished the job I was working on, opened the cards box to remove it and notice it had a small heat sink but no cooling fan, after closer inspection and searching the net I discover the guy has been ripped off, it's a Radeon 7000 in a 8500 box! ($30.00 card on Pricewatch)
Then I open his mini tower, WTF!..... There's no AGP slot, and the motherboard is an el-cheapo from a company no longer in business. (Delta mobo)
I called him and explained the problem, after he finally understood there was no way to install the video card and the mobo was obsolete/unsupported, I suggested a new motherboard would be the best solution since he insisted on using the ATI card.
He said he would pick one up otw home, I told him to make sure it supported the Intel Socket 370 with 66mhz FSB (Celeron 466) and he replied he already knew that.
The guy arrived later with the mobo.....100 and 133mhz FSB only. (GROANNNNN!)
He loaded his PC in his car and left in a huff. :rolleyes:
-
Skuzzy,
I'd say it was definately worth a laugh :D
What a questions and then calling you dumb, haha
I wonder what he would have said if he would been told to look at the mirror..
-
My last job involved telephone support for users and the company I was contracted to's field engineers.
Users were generally fine, you could talk them through almost anything.
The engineers were a nightmare.
I spent half a day trying to get one of them to log on to a pc we had sent out to a shop.
Me: Log on as administrator
Engineer: How do you spell it?
Me: A-D-M-I-N-I-S-T-R-A-T-O-R
Engineer: Oh yeah, of course
Short pause while he tries to log in
Engineer: Is that one word or two?
After about 2 hours of this, he couldn't log in. He had the password, we verified the keyboard was working ok by typing the password into the login box so he could check the characters.
He refused to get one of the shop staff to try the PC.
I had to connect over a 56K phone line and install dozens of MBs of presentation software remotely. I could connect with the admin account and password, and when he had gone the shop staff could as well.
In my opinion users aren't so bad because most of them don't mind being treated like idiots and having things explained one step at a time.
-
I have to
you people who can do support over the phone.
I just don't have the patience for it.
Recently I received a phone call at home, I was just drifting off to sleep on the couch one night and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring.....ph one rings...I pick it up and it's this da from work. He's wanting tech support while I'm at home.
Somehow he managed to finagle my phone number from accounting so he could call me and try to get support. So I tell him, I'm at HOME, we can take care of this tomorrow AT WORK.
he keeps trying to finagle support so I get increasingly short with him until finally the call ends..
two nights later the da calls me AGAIN and tries to get support...
I had to talk to HR and the owners of the firm and have them talk to him and accounting to make sure he didn't call me again at home and it was brought up in the staff meeting that no one is give out anyone's private phone number unless that person specifically asks them to give it.
I can't imagine the minds of the people who think that someone is so indebted to them that they can just get/give a private home phone number and expect technical support.
I'm so glad this thread was started, it's good to see you folks with the same kinda problems. Misery loves company!
Kanthy
-
Yes, being a techie sucks hairy ass.
-
Done both.
Done user support and that's a nightmare I'll never go back to. Spend 4 hours on the phone with some 95 year old director who thinks PC are merely complicated abacus's and you'll want someone to shoot you.
Doing network support now, spend 3 days waiting for a linetech in Italy/Spain/Germany/Pakistan to get on site with a laptop, null modem cable and a mobile phone only to get the call record back with the update: Si, I reset the card.
Got the standard reply on macro now: What part of reSEAT and CALL US WHEN ON SITE didnt you understand?
Know what I really hate though.........when *I* actually have to call user support cos something doesnt work as described and get spoken to like a normal numpty user.
"Have you plugged it in sir?"
"Is the power on sir?"
"Ah, thats the problem, windows not installed on the C drive sir"
"Ah, that'll be a layer 8 problem sir *scupcake*"
I dunno, maybe user support makes you jaded. Maybe I'm feeling light headed cos I agree totally with DjV for change.
But then that's the probem (er, not me in agreement with DjV, I mean user support making ya jaded). Helpdesk work is highly stressful and, for the most part, badly paid compared to 2nd and 3rd level. Helpdesk staff that have been there more than a few months and actually know something about the system generally want to move on to the calm and tranquil waters of 2nd level, which means you get a pretty constant staff turnover in helpdesks.....which keeps the skill level down on average. ESPECIALLY on 3rd party call handling helpdesks, you know the ones, the ones that employ numpties from Albania who hardly speak english and think $4 an hour is a good wage.
Best one I ever had though was an IT technical manager (with diploma's and certificates on all kindsa cool toejame on his office wall) who decided (in 1991 this was) that if he changed his HDD type in the bios on the network server it'll give him a bigger HDD........"and what's this boot order thingy, dont need A in there.........oh, no idea what the bios password is, is it important?"
(http://www.swoop.com/images/logo_small.jpg)
-
I remember one time when swoop was telling me about this really dumb guy who called him all the way from the USA. It was so har.......wait a sec....that was ME!! :D
Swoop
Booze is otw. ;)
-
I have to agree with you on this.
We had outsourced our helpdesk to phone support and from what I have heard from the users, they were really bad.
I guess the company we outsourced to had a huge turnover and had just hired in all new people and were in the process of training them WHILE we were paying them to do our first level of support.
I don't think anyone even told them what our setup was like so they'd have a chance in hell of figuring anything out.
We eventually got rid of that situation and went back to inhouse.
There is definately good and bad on both sides. We had hired one of the Unix admin's sons into our workplace and the guy had just gotten his A+ Cert and I can tell you that he was probably the most ignorant guy on earth when it came to PC's. It was all book learning and he couldn't actually implement anything he'd learned. I'd come in and he'd have his hands jammed into an open machine with the power still on, He'd try to force ribbon cables on backwards, he'd bent pins on chips (before slot1) it was pretty ugly..but ya know what? we kept him cause he was related to someone in the company.
I dunno how much it cost them in hardware lost..and the most common remarks I'd hear from him were:
I just don't understand this or This is strange.
Meanwhile the rest of the team is picking up the slack for the work that he's not doing and when I asked my lead at the time why the hell he hired someone who can't do the job he yells at me saying "WHY DON"T YOU TEACH HIM" I said "WHY DON"T YOU HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN DO THE WORK"
see it was my fault for not being more lenient during my extra hour days because the guy they hired was an idiot.
Both inhouse and remotely you can get total boobs.
Btw the guy I mentioned just got his MCSE and was interviewing with Microsoft last I'd heard
Kanthy
Originally posted by Swoop
But then that's the probem (er, not me in agreement with DjV, I mean user support making ya jaded). Helpdesk work is highly stressful and, for the most part, badly paid compared to 2nd and 3rd level. Helpdesk staff that have been there more than a few months and actually know something about the system generally want to move on to the calm and tranquil waters of 2nd level, which means you get a pretty constant staff turnover in helpdesks.....which keeps the skill level down on average. ESPECIALLY on 3rd party call handling helpdesks, you know the ones, the ones that employ numpties from Albania who hardly speak english and think $4 an hour is a good wage.
-
How about from the other end, sometimes help desk dweebs are such a hinderance. My previous ISP split there dial, flatrate dsl, and full speed (charge per mb) dsl bandwidth pools up. And made a mess:
Me: yeah hi I'm having real trouble with international bandwidth, I can get to national NZ sites ok, but anything out of the country is less than dialup, like 14kbps.
TD: we'll have to get someone from the telco to check your circuit
Me: but I can get to your website fine
TD: so you're not having bandwidth problems
Me: YES I AM, but INTERnational, not NATIONAL
TD: well that could be your line sir.
Me: So are you telling me you host your website in my garage?
TD: No? Why do you say that?
Me: Well if my line is porked like you say, then it must be in my garage because I get to it just fine.
TD: Oh, no sir. Then its in the Telcos local exchange.
Me: So now you're telling me you host your servers in Waitangarua exchange?
TD: Oh, Waitangarua? Uhmmm no. I see what you mean. Uhmmm. Please hold for a moment sir.
Me: OK
later
TD: Sorry, we don't guarantee any level of international bandwidth. If you can access local websites that means we are providing you with a connection to the internet.
Me: Yeah right! 99% of the internet is in the states and I can't get to. Stop giving me these BS lines and tell me WTF is going on!
TD: I'll have to put you through to my supervisor as you are now being hostile. Please hold.
Me: !#@$%!$!! ... then heres talking in the background.
TD: Ahhh my supervisor can't talk right now, but he suggested you send in a written complaint.
Needless to say, within 48hrs I had a new ISP.
-
Sounds like one of those talking heads Vulcan, the type of person who cannot think on thier own, cannot make any decisions and get absolutely tongue tied if things don't go by their script.
They are in all fields and you don't notice them unless something out of the ordinary happens and you watch them short circuit.
Hate those.
Kanthy
-
I work with support :)
Well im an Network admin & Webb admin, we got about 150 users in an WAN-network. Since every computer is linked to the network and got its own unique IP-adress we have installed an application called "WinVNC", its an "remote control" application wich you can "take controll" over an remote computer located elsewhere on the network (like PC-anywhere).
The time we save by actually taking controll over the users computer is huge.
I cant imagine going back to the "phone support" where you had to guide the user every step... with the constant problem of the users missing vital information/steps...
Regards.
-
This is a response to an email that I wrote some time ago about a user that refused to use Windows Explorer for file access and insisted on using the My Computer icon to access the hard drive. The user's screen would become full of windows as he opened up directories 10 levels deep:
=====
That's the good thing about Windoze. If people want to repeat menial tasks eventhough the OS gives them the functionality to automate or eliminate the need to, they can still continue to do it. I believe that it was developed this way so that corporations would be able to instantly identify the undesirable employees and cull them from the herd.
Unfortunately it has had the opposite effect. These people who refuse to create shortcuts on their desktop or get confused when you say, "No, idiot....I said RIGHT click" are the same people who continue to open their car trunks manually with a key eventhough they have a trunk release button on the dash. They are diagnosed with having "computer problems" when in actuality the problem is between their chair and their keyboard.
I frequently get support calls from users who are too paranoid/stupid/impatient to call our help desk first. Many times I will have had other idiots call about the same issue previously, and I will have a canned email response already created. Usually I will include annotated screenprints of the procedures to follow. Because like 3rd graders, the average computer user seems to comprehend things better when I include "pictures".
The real kicker is, more than once one of these users has called back after receiving my email. They state that they are following the procedures in the email but it still isn't working. The first thing I ask is if they still have their email database open. Because on more than one occasion, I have found that the user was actually trying to click on the f**king screenprints in the email instead of going back to the application that they were having problems with.
But then again.....without mental morons like these, many of us would not have a job.
-
LOL!
Ive sent out countless of manuals wich contains pictures in them by email. I usually get 1-2 calls (1-2 of 150 users might not be bad) saying, "nothing happens when i click on the icon!!!!" and the handsomehunkes are clicking on the icon in the manual wich i sent by mail lol!!!
-
I don't work in support. I sort of work in development.
If you think helping users with using the software they've purchased, you try getting them to *define* what they need.
It's close to impossible. Right now we're doing a system that'll remotely control any number of devices on a number of servers and scalable to several thousand users. Or rather, this was what we were initially specified to do.
We've just finished the third iteration and have implemented most of the basic architechture - still a good way from done though. We show it to the users...
The first request we get:
"can it make coffee?".
I mean, the concept here is a bit beyond making coffee.
In the end however, what do you think we have to do? You guessed it: right now, we're writing an interface to a stupid idiotic 'smart' coffee machine, so our users can check in on the coffee machine and order coffee.
I hope some day one of you get to work as tech support on *my* program, my code. That would be a good punishment for flying allied planes.
-
Having worked with computers for many years both professionally and as a hobby I often find myself with a smug if not arrogant attitude towards those with little or poor computer knowledge/skill. When I catch myself doing this I remind myself that many/most people find satisfaction in and are good at other things. Usually helps me to be more tolerant, for about 2 minutes. ;)
-
Try to imagine, for a moment, supporting a technical line where your customers are 10,000 engineers and 15,000 technical drafters, and the software they use is one that builds military and commercial aircraft. Now, imagine 5,000 of those engineers are 50+ yrs old, hate new technology, would rather draft in pen and paper. Then imagine that 80% of the calls are considered "training issues"...ever try to train someone that thinks they already know it all!? Thankfully, I only man the user line one day a week!
-
Ok here is one of the worst... GOD I hate people like this.
So here I am minding my own business at work, when I get a call from the front desk, it seems a customer is upset and wants to speak to a supervisor, and well that’s me.
The customer I will refer to as DR. Dick. He is old, southern and stupid, on top of that he like to exaggerate or out and out lie.
So I take the call and he is very upset because he has two products, and we do not support them. (They are very old, and we stopped support on them like last year)
So he wants me to either get the old products to work, or give him our new software for free, now company policy says no free upgrades, PERIOD. It also comes out that he has had the older products well over a year!
I tell him sorry, no we can not upgrade you and no we will not, give you a refund on products that have been discontinued. We go back and forth for about 30 minutes, with him saying things like “well John, if you don’t give me Your latest product for free now I am going to demand my money back on all your products, and all my time and I am a doctor so that’s going to cost you big time! I end the call with a final no, and he immediately calls the front desk again( I am writing an email to the front desk person as he calls) and demands our company lawyer or the president.
Instead he gets our division VP, and he caves and emails me telling me to send this joker, our two latest products for free. I want to scream and pull my hair out! I had to go outside and relax… I email my direct boss and explained as soon as we send this guy out the free stuff he is going to be calling back because he just does not understand how to use them. It does no good and I have the software shipped.
5 days later he is calling the front desk. I trouble shoot the software, but he wont try it in his top of the line system, and it is not running well on a p2 233 with 98FE. I tell him sorry your out of luck, so does my boss. The guys starts to threaten to sue, and demands a full refund for all his products! Even the ones he didn’t pay for!
Ok now we cave again and our going to give him his money back on the things he paid for so I call him, and he went out and bought another product from us! LoL! After all his bad mouthing us he buys us again! but he wants to return the new product and keep one of the other products and wait for us to release XP drivers for it…
That’s where it sits now, we have XP drivers out and he has not called, but he will…. And I am sure it will suck. LoL he is so bad everyone knows him by name! The president even talked to him once and now refused to ever again!
-
So... I'm sitting at my computer and a message pops up saying "Press OK to install". This is odd since I was just browsing my e-mail. With the window still open, I called IT.
Me: I just had a window pop up asking me if I wanted to install something. It doesn't tell me what is to be installed. This window just popped up on its own... not because I was trying to actually install anything.
IT: Its probably just a patch we are trying to install.
Me: Probably? I didn't receive notification that you were going to be installing anything.
IT: I don't think anything was sent out.
Me: There's nothing in this window telling me what is going on... it just popped up out of the blue.
IT: Well.. its says "IT" in the upper lefthand corner doesn't it?
Me: Well... that's not a very exclusive term.
IT: I don't see what the problem is.
Me: The problem is that I have a dialog box of unknown origin popping up asking me if I want to install some unknown program. You don't see a problem with me being conditioned to just click "OK" on that?
IT: I see your point. But there's nothing we can really do about that.. just click OK to install it.
Me: How about this... you get more descriptive with who is sending it. You notify us that it is coming down the pipe. And you try to avoid a situation where pressing "OK" to an install program is not an automatic reaction?
Maybe my problem is that I usually am conversing with the level 1 techies. To be honest.. if I get the feeling that this person is typing into a database and waiting for a path forward response... I know I'm in for a long ride. I try not to get frustrated... and I try to do exactly what they say just in case I was the complete idiot at some point... but... it just doesn't happen that way too often.
One thing I have found... is when companies actively monitor tech support e-mail... I've usually gotten very good responses. Its the fricking "screeners" that most have set up to answer the phone that really set me off.
AKDejaVu
-
I've worked tech/cust service in two different areas (high end audio and light industrial equipment). My boss at one job said something that I'll remember forever. I had been beating my head against the wall trying to appease a total bellybutton with an audio problem. The boss stopped by and was listening in. He took over the phone and politely told the fool to return all of our products for refund and go buy something easy to use like B&O. After hanging up he said "Sometimes you just have to fire the customer".
-
I work in a Technical Publications group as an artist, and because I know what I'm doing, someone is always asking me to help figure out what is wrong with their system.
Me: okay, so tell me what's wrong...
Them: the file is corrupt, or maybe the fonts need reloading, it won't print!
Me: show me.
(they open the file. warning messages pop up, but before I can even read them, they've "okay"ed through them)
Me: Whoooaa whoa... what did those warnings say?
Them: What warnings?
Me: those boxes that you hit "okay" on...
Them: I don't know, they always pop up.
Gaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! :mad:
Funny... my computers always seem to work fine.
The really maddening thing is: people like this will not always ask, they'll just go to the supervisors and whine about how nothing works correctly and how everything is buggy, and the next thing you know, a Task Force has been formed, made up of equally clueless retards, and they're going to "solve" all of our non-existent "problems" by scrapping all of our current software versions, fonts, drivers, etc., with brand new unproven versions.
They know enough to leave my machines alone though ;)
-
Sometimes CS is wonderful......
I own an E-machine, and needed a power supply. Well it turns out that E-machines use E-machine power supplies exclusively due to the size limitation......anyway after the frustration of finding that little tidbit out I called E-machines for the part.
Me: Can you send that next day air, I will pay the freight.
CS: Yes we could do that, but I would suggest you don't. We'll get it out right away.
ME: (sceptically) OK.
It arrived the in 2 days! UPS ground. I was impressed.
-
Well sometimes this work truly is wonderful :)
Right now im sitting at home with an "lasercanon" (dunno whats it called in english, laserprojector?) so i have the whole livingroom wall as an computer screen hehe!
Gonna play some Day of defeat now :)
The only sad part is that i have to bring it back to work tomorrow
-
This was a great thread I found in the archive-
Probably the number one problem I run across is people saying "I got my computer home and now the internet won't work!" (In a tone like they expect I broke something) Then I ask them "what hole in the back of the computer did you plug the phone wire into?" they say something like "Does that matter?" or "oops!".
Same with video card upgrades.
Now I cover up slots and put big labels on back of the machines "Plug X Here" or "Dont Use" That catches about 85% of it
-
A buddy of mine worked in the same company I do, but he worked help desk while I worked commercial/corporate contracts.
One day I asked him how his work was coming along and he threw out a couple of good stories.
First one:
Its a Saturday night, pretty slow for corporate help desk support, so he gets a consumer call routed to him by a lady trying to install a cd-rom drive into a laptop bay.
Him: "IBM, how may I help you."
Her: "I'm trying to install this cd-rom drive into my Toshiba laptop."
Him: "Ma'am, you know this is IBM, right?"
Her: "Yes, but I couldn't get through to Toshiba so I called you."
Second one:
Its a Friday afternoon and a corporate customer is calling about problems they're having accessing the network.
Him: "IBM, how may I help you."
Customer: "We're having trouble getting a connection onto the network."
Him: "We?"
Customer: "Yes, one of my guys is here with me. Hold on, I'll put you on my speaker phone so we can all talk."
Him: "Ok."
Customer: "Can you hear me ok? Good. We tried (insert logical though process here) but its not getting a connection."
Him: "Has this happened before?"
Customer: "Its not unusual...(restarts thought process)...its not usual..."
And right then the guy in the back breaks into a dead-perfect Tom Jones impersonation "...its not unusual to be loved by anyone...."
-
Originally posted by Thrawn
Because I get to talk to the most imbecilic morons on the face of the entire F#$$ing planet!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:
We now return you to your regularly scheduled squeaking about the middle-east.
We dont have any tech support people on staff anymore. They entire help desk was fired and all the jobs sent to Canada..
You got the jobs and the jerks :)
-
Owning and operating a small business, I certainly understand all the problems that go with the general population and computers. Usually, as in 99% of the time, the problem is right there between the keyboard and the chair. If it isn't that, then an invalid mouse operator may be to blame. Anyway, you all may enjoy this URL I found:
http://www.phonelosers.org/techsupport/index.html
Enjoy
-
Originally posted by Krusher
We dont have any tech support people on staff anymore. They entire help desk was fired and all the jobs sent to Canada..
You got the jobs and the jerks :)
This is true, I can honestly say that I'm stealing jobs from Americans. Of course it was an American company that located its office here.
-
Ran across a women calling tech support of an ISP because when she tried to access em , they wee always busy. After a lot of do this, do that, they found out she had put HER telephone number in the login slot.