Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: StSanta on April 18, 2001, 12:48:00 AM
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Just to open peoples eyes for the tremendous authority and respect that comes with wearing the leather thong of Staffelkapitaenship, here's a few lines from 9./JG 54 squad board:
Rule 1.
dont listen to anything santa says.
Rule 2.
never fly behind santa, his huge arse is a major distraction!
Rule 3.
Always listen to kirin, You will have no choice as he babbles on constantly, usually about the unbelieveable size of Santa's arse.
Rule 4.
Get a good mike if u dont have one. Good luck listening to glasses, there is a rumour that he has his mike down his pants, there is no way that a Mike could sound that bad by accident.
Rule 5.
Speak very fast English when speaking to Wastel, apparently he is an English scholar at Oxford and understands everything perfectly.
Rule 6.
Never tell any of them your real name and where you live,,,,,THEY WILL VISIT!!! Although Kirin is not allowed out beyond 11pm, apparently his cell is very well padded.
Rule 7.
Never ask about this rule.
Rule 8.
Never ask about rule 7.
Rule 9.
Enjoy it.
Rule 10.
Not that much tho
VoX
And Kirin chimes in after a lame and fruitless retort from me:
Rule #2 is the most important - get too close and you'll be dragged into it's field of gravity. BTW, that's how Santa gets his kills!
About Vox - 3 words:
Bovine Spongioforme Encephalitis
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Nice chaps eh? (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Von Santa
Staffelkapitän 9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"If you return from a mission with a victory, but without your Rottenflieger, you have lost your battle."
- D. Hrabak, JG 54 "Grünherz"
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Funny stuff man. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Actually StSanta, the enormous size of your arse is a HUGE tactical advantage for your squadmates.
So long as we fly within about D5 of your aircraft we are completely safe from cowardly Allied Hispano shells. Your arse seems to act like a mini (well, not so mini) black hole, sucking every shell in a 10,000 yd radius towards your aircraft and leaving the rest of us virtually untouchable.
What other squad can boast a portable gravity well as a C.O. ?
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Jekyll
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
Aces High Training Corps
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Unfortunately the very huge bellybutton (never mind that I only weight 65kg and hardly have an bellybutton at all) and its gravitational pull means ALL rounds go for me. And hit me.
The reason I still have a reasonable k/d ratio is because a) I am LW and b) I'm bloody good
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Von Santa
Staffelkapitän 9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"If you return from a mission with a victory, but without your Rottenflieger, you have lost your battle."
- D. Hrabak, JG 54 "Grünherz"
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Only 65kg? Wow you are a wee little lad (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
Of course now we know how to get you to the Con this year, we'll just ship you air freight ! It will be cheaper than an airline ticket (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/tongue.gif)
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Vermillion
**MOL**, Men of Leisure
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Verm, I'm "aerodynamically designed" that's all.
My skydiving instructor once told me to get out of my chute. Puzzled, I followed his direction and asked why.
"You don't need it. You'll drift down like a lead".
Since I had no response to that one, I bought him a beer (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
Air freight will be fine. With me weighting 1/10th of the average Americans gut, it should be cheap (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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Von Santa
Staffelkapitän 9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"If you return from a mission with a victory, but without your Rottenflieger, you have lost your battle."
- D. Hrabak, JG 54 "Grünherz"
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Santa, would that be you in the leather in this squadron pic? (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
(http://gratuitous.com/village-people/images/vp-1997.jpg)
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I told you before, when you translate Geschwader into English it comes out as "Bath house for gay pilots"... Rip only reinforces my statement.
Hehe
-SW
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Quit yer whining Santy. If we showed Fatty half as much respect as is displayed in your post, he'd weep tears of joy! Sounds like your squaddies are slacking off in their duties (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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hehe 65 kilo og all den ølen ?
hmm vent til du blir 35 santa da får du virkelig smake livets harde realitet (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
ahhh la oss ha det morro her og kødde med resten av verden (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
airguard
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lol Santa
if you go to one of our squad nights (if there is such thing?) you'd know what disrespect is all about
you will feel like Galland when you are flying with your own guys.
Poor fatty. But how can you follow orders from someone who's response is always diddly You ?
skernks: Fatty whats our mission tonight? take 18?
Fatty: diddly you, squeak. Yes you, my squeak.
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Sheesh.
Just goes ta show yah... the LW, in slack times with nothin else to squeak about begins to squeak about the LW.
I wonder if they eat their young when ponys arn't available.
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
Hang
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StSanta,
I want you to know if your squadies don't respect you... your enemies do! I have seen you circling on many occasions ready to pounce of an unsuspecting foe. I have never accually seen you pounce but I'm sure you terrorize the skies!
(http://www.applink.net/thunder/spoof/stsanta.jpg)
Salute Buddy! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
(http://www.applink.net/thunder/sig/thsig.jpg)
Your Friendly Foe!
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Thunder, that is clearly a decoy... probably just one of Santa's flunkies. Santa is unmistakable in the sky because of the cloud of smoke trailing behind him. Here's a picture snapped earlier today:
(http://content.communities.msn.com/isapi/fetch.dll?action=view_photo&ID_Community=MMPAviation&ID_Topic=2&ID_Message=6)
-SW
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ROFLMAO!
Oh man!
There goes another monitor.
I should have known better.
LOL, too much (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
I wonder hwo you guys get hold of our top secret pictures thought; is there a leak in the squad? I suspect it's VoX; he always mumbles something about "taking a leak".
ROLMAO
<hopes coffee infested monitor survives this>
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Von Santa
Staffelkapitän 9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"If you return from a mission with a victory, but without your Rottenflieger, you have lost your battle."
- D. Hrabak, JG 54 "Grünherz"
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ROFl!