Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: ~Caligula~ on May 10, 2002, 03:23:36 AM
-
This piece by comedian Dennis Miller puts the Middle East conflict into
> perspective as only he can:
>
>
> "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
to
>
> all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the
>
> Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need. Don't
> thank
>
> me. I'm a giver.
>
>
> Here we go:
>
>
> The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
> that:
>
>
> There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
> Palestine
>
> for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is
>
> really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza
>
> was owned by Egypt, and there were no "Palestinians" then, and the West
Bank
>
> was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians" then. As soon as the
> Jews
>
> took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you
>
> know, say hello to the "Palestinians weeping for their deep bond with
>
> their lost "land" and "nation."
>
> So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any
more
>
> to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until
>
> someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they
> are: "Other Arabs Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap
>
> Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I
>
> know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then:
> "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
>
> Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one
>
> more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time
in
> the
>
> last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have
>
> your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and
>
> Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way
>
> to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters
>
> in the region want: Israel.
>
> They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course--that's where the real
>
> fun is--but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy
>
> Israel--or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it--for the last
>
> fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the
>
> attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the
blue-ribbon
> most
>
> illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on G-d's Earth, and if you've
>
> ever been around G-d's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It
>
> makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the
> great
>
> history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless I'm missing something,
>
> the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the
way,
>
> thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around and spit it out:
Five
> hundred million Arabs; five million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries
as
> a football field, and Israel as a
>
> pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
>
> swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone
will
> be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of
wars
>
> to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths
>
> to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
>
> My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
reverse
>
> the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I
was
>
> stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews
>
> strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not.
>
> Or marshalling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to
>
> drive a tiny Arab state into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at
the
> murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies
> about the Arabs baking their bread
>
> with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to
themselves
> in
>
> a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to
> death.
>
> Mr. Bush, G-d bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with
>
> vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our interest,
as
> Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and,
> after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of
> supermodels who've just had their drugs taken away.
>
> However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing
>
> moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11 our president
>
> told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the
> countries
>
> that supported them. Beautiful.
>
> Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of
an
>
> Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing
>
> we did, and we tell them to show restraint.
>
> If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would
>
> all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with
it
>
> and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.
(Hey,
>
> wait a minute, that's actually not such a bad id . . . uh, that is, what a
> horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)"
>
-
Jawhol Herr Judenfuhrer Caligula! :rolleyes: Kill em all, yes!
-
Wrong Miller (http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/161yaihr.asp)
-
Yes it was Larry Miller not Dennis but still carries the same 100% accuracy in its statements
Too bad the majority of the Pals are to illiterate understand it
:(
-
Damn it. I already read that whole article with Dennis Miller's voice in my head, and now I learn that it was really LARRY Miller?!?!
Damn you!!!! :D
-
Yes they are unwashed illiterates that donīt know how to read racist rants about them.
In fact many of the problems of the "pals" with their arab brethren stem from the fact that they were the most urban and western-like society of the Middle East and were really fine collaborating with the british protectorate, in contrast with the tribal nomad societies of Jordanian or Saudi bedouins.
I understand you have to depict every one of them to yourself as barbarous-stupid-ragheads to be able to keep your boneheaded stand, but ok, thats you choice, I am myself getting to think of every american as a clueless-gun-tooting-tobacco-chewing-redneck-or-cowboy just because some of you :D
So in fact every group has their nice people and their bastards. I prefer to stand for nice people anywhere. I wouldnīt like any bastard to be "my bastard". Some of you love adopting them if they seem to fit your mood for a while.
The pure and angelical Israeli society has their own share of nutties:
http://www.haaretzdaily.com/hasen/pages/ShArt.jhtml?itemNo=162305&contrassID=1&subContrassID=0&sbSubContrassID=0
"Officers from the Shalem police station, who were patrolling the A-Tur neighborhood of Jerusalem when the spotted a suspicious vehicle with two passengers - Shlomo Davir and Yarden Morag, both residents of the Bat Ein settlement. The officers followed the suspect vehicle and called for reinforcements. When they approached the Al-Mukasad hospital, the suspects unhooked a trailer from the rear of the vehicle, and placed it at the side of the road, next to the hospital and a nearby all-girl high school.
The officers approached the two suspects and asked then to explain their actions, but were met with a refusal. The officers took the two suspects into custody. A search of the vehicle discovered unlicensed weapons. An army sapper was called to the scene and found a powerful explosive device, with a time-delayed detonator, inside the trailer. The device was programmed to explode the following morning. Bomb squad officers neutralized the device. "
Want to fight terror then? Ok just do the standard stuff, shoot the terrorists on the spot, they might have explosives on them, level the Bat Ein settlement with tanks and dozers, shoot a few settlers (a few dozens are not a massacre it seems) and round up the rest including police officers in the settlement and blow up their precint, as they were not obviosuly doing enough to "deter terror".
Nah, wait, these bastards were "our bastards"... :rolleyes:
-
I am myself getting to think of every american as a clueless-gun-tooting-tobacco-chewing-redneck-or-cowboy just because some of you
just for the record I've never 'tooted' even one of my guns
-
Takeda is the invalidity of ad hominem not tought in your country ? Or just not in the schools where you Ram and Mandoble went ?
Over here it's considered insolent .
-
Yeah! And not that many of us chew either!
<'scuse me a sec, my Colt is diggin' into mah hip... I gotta get a different chair>
Now, do you really understand the difference 'tween a Cowboy and a redneck? I hope so, 'cuz yer castin' a mighty wide loop there pardner.
.. an' I'll toot mah gun any time there's a clear shot. ;)
-
Wrong. I don't chew tobacco. Yippee-kai-AY!:) ;)
-
I understand you have to depict every one of them to yourself as barbarous-stupid-ragheads"
Nope, just the ones causing the trouble. The others are to scared to express their disgust or they approve of it. Either way they are just as guilty.
"every american as a clueless-gun-tooting-tobacco-chewing-redneck-or-cowboy just because some of you
clueless - about somethings, but better informed than the average "PAL" I am sure.
no gun
no tobacco - chew or smoke
redneck only after a fishing trip :)
no cows for this "boy" - just 2" thick steaks :)
-
Originally posted by takeda
I am myself getting to think of every american as a clueless-gun-tooting-tobacco-chewing-redneck-or-cowboy just because some of
Hmm...Let's see here. While I have a concealed weapons permit, I don't carry a gun all that often. Unless you count the one I have in my truck. I stopped chewing years ago. I grew up on a farm so I guess I'm a redneck. And I used to own a horse and roped on occasion.
BTW, what was your point again?
-
While I am carrying a concealed weapon that should probably be licensed, not one woman who has ever seen it has ever reported me to any authority except perhaps Penthouse Forum. :cool:
-
Originally posted by midnight Target
While I am carrying a concealed weapon that should probably be licensed, not one woman who has ever seen it has ever reported me to any authority except perhaps Penthouse Forum. :cool:
I read that letter...Something bout a woman and a derringer, MT:)
-
Hey!!! Who you calling clueless!!
Kanthy
Originally posted by takeda
I am myself getting to think of every american as a clueless-gun-tooting-tobacco-chewing-redneck-or-cowboy just because some of you :D
-
Takeda,
You didn't print the whole story. Here's a part I found interesting..
"Jerusalem district police and the Shin Bet security service detained four Jews on suspicion of planning mass terror attacks against Palestinian residents of A-Tur and in East Jerusalem."
There are nut cases in every society. However, I'd be curious if there are any stories of Palestinians detaining or arresting those vent on terrorism against Jewish citizens. Heck, detain them? They'd probably wish them a few extra happy virgins in the after-life and send them on their way.
Towel heads? Nawww. Explosive Belt Jockeys. heh heh
-
Originally posted by midnight Target
While I am carrying a concealed weapon that should probably be licensed, not one woman who has ever seen it has ever reported me to any authority except perhaps Penthouse Forum. :cool:
the bb gun of love? :D
-
Dammit you guys....Its not the length thats important....its the Caliber!!!!
:eek:
-
Derringer...wasnt that .22?
-
Paaaleeeez.......buncha jealous tards!!!
-
Originally posted by midnight Target
Paaaleeeez.......buncha jealous tards!!!
uhhhhhh is that a guy touching your gun?!?!?!! :eek:
You really are from California!! :D
-
I'm more of a pink neck. (only been here for 12 years)
Don't Mess With Texas.
-
Caried a gun most of my adult life, but it was part of the job. Still take one along sometimes. :p
Lived in the American Southwest all my life and still haven't been attacked by hostile Indians. I suppose that could change some day out on the old wagon train. :eek:
Don't ride a horse into town once a month, I actually use a motorcycle (BMW K75RT) or my truck to mosey with. :cool:
Don't own a cowboy hat, spurs or a silver encrusted saddle. I do on occasion have a sunburned neck but have learned a bit about sunscreen since my youth. :)
Why did I mention the items in the last three paragraphs??? Because they were questions asked of me by European tourists visiting the "wild and wooly American West" in the early 90's. That's the 1990's for those keeping count. ;)
Got any more stereotypes there takeda??? :rolleyes:
-
Too busy putting on my "toreador" suit to go dance some flamenco after my siesta to answer you
-
when is the zelots for isreal program gona take you again caligula ? you are ripe for them .
-
I`m not sure what You mean,but if You refer to those amazinhunks trying to blow up arabs in East Jerusalem....they belong in prison,with the rest of the terrorist amazinhunks.
-
Takeda..
do you realize you just presented an example of the Isrealies policing their own as an example of what is wrong in Isreal?