Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Swoop on June 25, 2002, 12:53:35 AM
-
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:" Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:" Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
-
Originally posted by Swoop
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
You'd think this would be a no-brainer, but my great aunt was in a hurry one day and decided to iron her clothes while wearing them.
You can guess the rest. She's probably the reason they put warnings like that on irons now.
-- Todd/Leviathn
-
Originally posted by Dead Man Flying
You'd think this would be a no-brainer, but my great aunt was in a hurry one day and decided to iron her clothes while wearing them.
You can guess the rest. She's probably the reason they put warnings like that on irons now.
-- Todd/Leviathn
OT but lol, once I've retired from the USAF... I swear to god I'll never iron another article of clothing as long as I live!.
-
What's an iron?
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
-
Originally posted by Swoop
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
Actually...
Those lable instructions only exist in the US or on US made products. I leave you all to draw your own conclusions from that...
-
Well.....actually, 5 of those listed were seen in British shops. :D
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
-
Originally posted by Swoop
Well.....actually, 5 of those listed were seen in British shops. :D
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
Oh, but Im willing to bet they were on US products then ;)
-
Unknown at this time.......but I'm willing to bet major parts of my anatomy that Marks & Spencer Bread pudding isnt made in the USA. :D. Do Yanks even know what Bread Pudding is?
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
-
Actually...what IS bread pudding? To you take bread and mix with water to get something puddy-like?
-
Originally posted by Hortlund
Actually...what IS bread pudding? To you take bread and mix with water to get something puddy-like?
it look like a brick ... and taste the same :)
-
Originally posted by Tumor
OT but lol, once I've retired from the USAF... I swear to god I'll never iron another article of clothing as long as I live!.
Admit it Tumor, thats why you got married :)
-
Originally posted by Swoop
Unknown at this time.......but I'm willing to bet major parts of my anatomy that Marks & Spencer Bread pudding isnt made in the USA. :D. Do Yanks even know what Bread Pudding is?
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
President's Choice makes a pretty good bread pudding...drop some Devon custard on it and you are golden.
Taste like a brick? Far from it...if made properly.
-
Originally posted by Swoop
Unknown at this time.......but I'm willing to bet major parts of my anatomy that Marks & Spencer Bread pudding isnt made in the USA. :D. Do Yanks even know what Bread Pudding is?
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
mmmm...bread pudding.
-
Originally posted by Curval
President's Choice makes a pretty good bread pudding...drop some Devon custard on it and you are golden.
Taste like a brick? Far from it...if made properly.
I perhaps got confused ... it's either wedding pudding or christmas pudding who tried to kill me :) I don't recall exactly :D
-
mmmmmm it's Presidents Choice Cookies that I kill for......ya cant get em in Europe :(
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
-
Originally posted by Hortlund
Actually...
Those lable instructions only exist in the US or on US made products. I leave you all to draw your own conclusions from that...
Well Steve, that's an easy conclusion to draw. Obviously the rest of the world does without hairdryers, Freetos, soap, sleep aids, Christmas lights and Superman costumes. These products are only found in America.
-
Originally posted by Swoop
mmmmmm it's Presidents Choice Cookies that I kill for......ya cant get em in Europe :(
(http://www.boomspeed.com/swoop/logo_small.jpg)
hu ? bretzel ?
-
Originally posted by Hortlund
Actually...
Those lable instructions only exist in the US or on US made products. I leave you all to draw your own conclusions from that...
Of course Steve. We only need those labels in Europe though. Those same products sold here just have a label reading
"Do Not Allow European Users Near This Product! They Will Probably Hurt Themselves!"
-
It's due to different legal system ...
If you kill your cat in a micro wave in france and you try to have a trial it won't be succes ...
But you will more likely face a trial soon ...