Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: eskimo2 on June 29, 2002, 01:24:59 PM
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SOB's recent post got me thinking about some of the other classic and funny BB posts from the past. Some I remember, and I'm sure that there are many that I have forgotten. I bet that there are also many great posts that I never saw. Please use this thread to provide references of any original posts from the past that you found to be particularly funny. If you don't recall any that you see, do a search with the poster's name and key tittle words.
Please add to this thread.
While holding my screaming and flailing baby daughter today, this is all that my distracted mind could recall:
SOB: "More evidence for banning...this is getting rediculous!" - Aces High General Discussion.
Hangtime: "Hairball wins one." - Aces High General Discussion
Gazoo: "Hitech's Wedding" - Aces High General Discussion (picture post - picture no longer available :( ) Can someone find it?
Creamo: Couldn't find this one, but it's a picture post of new AH chute kill artwork by Creamo. Someone find it please.
eskimo
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Originally posted by Hangtime:
Hairball wins one.
A little background first.. I hate cats, have always hated cats, cats are morons; cats don't kick in fer the rent; cats don't do guard duty and won't bring in the paper. They shed, they play knock-hockey at 4:00am and they don't get chicks, they don't do a damn thing but eat; toejam and sleep.
At least, when my kid got a rotty and my wife gave me the boot we had something in common... overmatched; we were faced with suffering the indignity of being a poor second choice for each other together.
It's been a coupla years now.. we pass each other in the morning offering mutual gunts, when I come home I feed it; it subsequently leaves me alone. I'm happy.. it's happy. When it's sick; it tells me (bastard hurled on my keyboad once) and since it's older than I am (in cat years) I tend to avoid giving it flying lessons like my kid did in her youth.
For the most part; we live our seperate lives in the same place and experience life in our own ways... I fly a online computer sim.. it sits on the table and stares at me like I'm a moronwith with it's oh-so superior smug half-purr . When I get tired of this, I take off a shoe and threaten to toss it at it.. it bolts; I go back to flying.
Till tonight. I'm in the middle of havin a blast tearin up knitland, we've got a beachhead; things are goin pretty good.. phone rings. Ex-wife. Seems the kid; on her second day of school (new boarding school) has wigged out.. wants to come home, hates it there, nobody likes her (wait till they get to know her), she has no friends (see answer #1), etc etc. Being a doting and caring parent; I call the kid at her new school and offer some encouragement (no; we ain't comming to get you), explain that it's normal to feel lost scared and depressed in new surroundings (wait till you get a divorce, kid), and to buck up and give it a few weeks...
Mollified (for maybe 10-12 minutes; I bet) she gets off the phone and goes back to face the music, and I get in front of the computer and start booting up.
*thump* MEOWRRRRRR!!! *wham* *thump*
Unconcerned, I continue to stare at the bios and cmos statements as they scoll by, sure that Hairball is just having a little argument with the cat toys (hairball tends to be vindictive and dictatorial; a trait I understand is normal in a cat) and give it minimal notice. Ahhh a normal desktop; Winders 98 has surprised me again, I can try to get on the internet and get in virtual line for the world-wide-wait.
*thump* MEOWRRRRRR!!! *wham* HISSSSSSSSSS *thump* MEOWRRRRRRRR!!
Sounds like a hell of a battle... wonder who's winning... I continue with the ritual of cliks and nudges with the mouse; affix my headset; jostle the controls; getting closer to bishland and happy isolation from the cares of ex-wife, kid (hey; if I have an ex-wife; how come I don't have an ex-kid??); Dog; cat...
*thump* MEOWRRRRRR!!! *wham* HISSSSSSSSSS *thump* MEOWRRRRRRRR!! *CRASH*..
Ruh roh.. now somethings busted.. I get up to head towards the sounds of the ongoing ruckus and my foot snags the mic cord.. the tower whips off the table *WHUMP*, right to the floor so fast my stunned mind had yet to grasp the implications, then the monitor follows.. deperate; I lunge towards it.. damn thing must weigh 40 pounds.. UNNNGH, I save the monitor from certain doom, restore it to safety atop the desktop..
*thump* MEOWRRRRRR!!! *wham* *thump*
"GAWDAMMIT!" I roar, whipping around and again heading towards the sounds of a ruckus in progress in the bathroom and in the process yank the poor tower through my chair (cord still around my foot) whick smacks the endtable; sending the phone and the light crashing to the floor (which gets my now freaked out downstairs neighbor to start hollering and pounding) followed by the monitor I'd saved from certain destruction about 10 seconds before.
At about this point I loose my normal sense of cool equilbrium and shout at the guy downstairs "AWWW SHUT THE HELL UP: amazinhunk" and then holler towards the cat secreted in the bathroom engaged in some unknown battle royale "WHEN I GET IN THERE I'M GONNA KILL YOU TOO!"
Shattered.. like my new computer so carefully and precisley built by myself not 2 months ago, I retire to the kitchen to get an icepak for my mangled arm.. (bruised from elbow to wrist from cushioning the first fall of the monitor) and return to the living room and sit on the couch surveying the damage when I notice my ankle is bleeding profusely from that damn garrotte of a mic cord. I slowly pan my eyes around the wreckage of my life... when there comes a pounding at the front door.
"POLICE! Open up!" Oh; no... groaning; I stagger to my feet; step to the door and open it.. two real big kids in blue suits; steely eyes, they take in the scene.. the place in ruins, me bleeding; ice pack.. "Anybody else here?" As they swarm thru the doorway moving me back by force of presence I answer.. "unnnh.. no... just a cat, for the moment. Maybe not much longer tho.." Now standing in the middle of the scene of what is obviously some sort of domestic dispute, they eye me dubiously "We got a complaint from the guy downstairs, he thinks a murder was taking place here, mind if we look around?"
I sink back down onto the couch; replace the icepack; groan and listen while one, still eyeing me carefully gets on his nifty little radio and begins talking while his big blue twin goes prowling thru the bedroom and kitchen. When he reaches the bathroom (door closed) and opens it Hairball explodes out between his legs and comes close to meeting the just rewards I had planned for it in the moments immediately preceeding the arrival of the Law.. the cop goes fer his gun.
"HOLY COW!" exclaims the cop (were do these guys come from? Modesto??) 'No,' sez I.. 'cat.'
Mollified, but a bit edgy; the cop pushes the door open on the bath to reveal the scene of the crime... and he starts to laugh.
"What happened here?" sez the first cop, and I tell him about the noise from the bath; getting up, catching the cord, wrecking the computer, all in gristly angry detail. The interview concludes with the name, rank; ID and serial number stuff (I'm peeved they didn't rake the cat over the coals) decline to arrest the cat despite my injuries and politely suggest I change the kitty litter instead.
After they are gone I have a look in the bathroom... 4 full rolls or charmin are shredded (about knee deep in hugahunk in there) the shower curtain and rail are down; all the deruitius of human personal hygiene are missing from the sink (no doubt sunk in the sea of charmin) and the litter box has been upturned. eeeeewwww.
Outraged, I limp back to the living room. Hairball is perched upon the spot that at one time was reserved for my glorious 21" monitor, industriously grooming, pickin the charmin outta her claws and purring a very loud self satisfied purr. I notice there's and odd refraction to the sound of a cat purring while simultaneously licking it's chops. I believe I can correctly classify this cat noise as...
"I won my fight amazinhunk. How'd you do in here??"
Did I ever tell you guys I hate cats??
Bish, sorry; I ain't gonna be on-line fer a few days.. I'm down to a laptop till I get this mess cleaned up. Knits; you can send Hairballs medal for saving knitland and covering my toothbrush with cat turds to the rooks, who know what to do with such things.
Hairball, meanwile; basking in the self-satisfied glory of whipping up on Mr Whipple, continues to languish on my vacated desktop.
I think I will hide my laptop tonight when I go to bed.... most assuredly still bemoaning the existence of ex-wives; kids and their gawdammned cats.
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Hang
1st/AG "Bishlanders" << Recruiting!!
"Turn to kill, not to engage."
Commander 'Willie' Driscoll, USNR
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You can't leave out the GoonMaw thread.. that was a classic too.
Overall though.. I think SOB's takes it.
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Ahhh yes the Thread about the night when someone learned of the MAWs Roger Wilco channel and alot of guys invaded the channel. Some of the names I remeber were:
Fatty_MAW
FunkedUp_MAW
Dude_in_goon_MAW
201_is_not_secure_idiots_MAW
Your_maw_MAW
There were others but I can't remember them. :(
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Originally posted by Mr Hanky
You can't leave out the GoonMaw thread.. that was a classic too.
Overall though.. I think SOB's takes it.
That's it Mr Hanky! (Hitech's Wedding)
Link or post the GoonMaw thread please!
eskimo
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How can you guys ever forget the Creamo classic "Chute shooting, and tears as big as horse turds streaming down your cheeks", and the unintentionally hilarious "Wrong guy, wrong community" thread. Then of course there were the hot, sweaty, T-shirtless, gun-toting, big-truck-driving posts, Animal's exodus into adulthood, and the completely unforgetable Elfenwolf evaluation of Ripsnort?
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Originally posted by Kieran
How can you guys ever forget the Creamo classic "Chute shooting, and tears as big as horse turds streaming down your cheeks", and the unintentionally hilarious "Wrong guy, wrong community" thread. Then of course there were the hot, sweaty, T-shirtless, gun-toting, big-truck-driving posts, Animal's exodus into adulthood, and the completely unforgetable Elfenwolf evaluation of Ripsnort?
Find them and link them please!
eskimo
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Here is one that cracked me up.
http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=52499
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I still chuckle when I remember a certain picture post regarding Sally. I think it started with a picture of Sally captioned "looking shy" and then another picture "Sally warming up" and then another saying something like "Sally busting out." I'm certain they were just random shots put together but it did look like how the captions went!
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I vote for my "I'm gunman26 can't you figure it out? 2 x 26 is..." from Gunman42 screenshots :)
Wonder what ever happened to that guy?
Did Darwin eventually catch up with him?
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This (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5723&highlight=pudding) is one my all time favorites.
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Originally posted by Vulcan
I vote for my "I'm gunman26 can't you figure it out? 2 x 26 is..." from Gunman42 screenshots :)
Wonder what ever happened to that guy?
Did Darwin eventually catch up with him?
bahaha i remember that. i was online at the time when he said that. When he typed that out i was like "hmm that is pretty clever of you gunman..........wait one second..........WTF! "
almost puked from laughing. especially because he thought he was being all cool and crafty.;)
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Who was it that made that drug-induced psychedlic artwork consisting of Lake Uterus, butterflies, and fluffy bunnies?
That's still one of my favorites, along with Creamo's chute-shooting pics.
Someone please find and post... I couldn't find either one. :)
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I always liked This (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=303&highlight=What+AND+Like+AND+StSanta) one
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Jenga's first post, by hijacking Swoop's account (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18259)
Creamo's "Killing Chutes, P-51's and the tears as big as horse turds falling down your cheeks" (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12817&highlight=horse+turds)
Unfortunately, although I can't find the post with Creamo's hilarious pilot/chute killing pics, I know that those images have been lost to the god of long lost web providers. :(
SOB
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Thanks, I had forgotten about this thread, just read the whole thing. It was a hoot!
Creamo's first post on the BB:
"Killing Chutes, P-51's and the tears as big as horse turds falling down your cheeks"
I think it quite funny that I get cussed out 90% of the time I kill a chute. Were talking being called very nasty things better left unmentioned! It’s even gone as far as being threatened, preached to, apparently pissing the victim of my bullet spewing pass off to the point they alter their gameplay just to go after me for the rest of the night! This game is simply wonderful for as*holes like me that find this type behavior amusing. Makes the dogfighting much more intense, and adds a little spice to the game. This coupled with one fantastic FM, a good core talent base of older WWII flightsim players, and flawless internet connections is the ingredients for many hours of sim bliss. Cheers to the HighTech staff. I really think you have a winner here. Back to the chute killing and my take on it.
Anyways,if you want to be a Gallant Knight (no ref to Knit’s) who fly’s a beautiful P-51 gracefully around at 20K admiring your bright smile in the refection of your just polished canopy and your clever open channel AOL chat posts that clog the message server, go ahead. But when you swoop down past the streets of blasted and disemboweled children that are now being cremated by the second wave of bombers dropping incendiary bombs to light up the cities ruptured gas lines getting a free E pass on my low n slow 109, don’t preach to me how to fight a WAR if I’m fortunate enough to shoot you down! Oh, that’s not in the game yet, but that’s what your doing in a sense! Of course that’s reference to real war, but aint we supposed to be thinking along the lines of modeling it?
At the end of WWII anyone flying a ME262 was in danger of being killed in a chute because the Allies knew that not only were those jets killing 10 guys a pop in a B-17, they were the best of Germany’s pilots. Speaking of pilot skill, the P-51 killed lotsa little German boys with very little flight time at the end of the war, making me suspicious of all the hype of how good a P-51 really is. Anyway, in defense of all you guys that whine at me, the Germans in fact WOULD’NT under any circumstances shoot chutes. To each his own, but tearing you out of that canvas with .20mm’s is my choice, and a blast to boot! If ya don’t like it, watch from the Tower or just not get shot down. The Allies and the Axis had 10’s of thousands of planes at the end of the war, which aint worth dik if noone can fly them. I’d help my side by killing every citizen bombing murderer in the bombing task force. And if you shoot at me for real today, your getting a Taurus 357mag shot in you…the whole clip! And if your flying in a war burning down my house, killing my kids, and punching .50’s into my 205 or 109, you better believe I’m going to kill you there to. Either by .20mm in through the canopy, or forcing you to bail and finishing the job there. You are not going home, and I’m not giving you a hot meal and a bed to sleep in for the remainder of the war!
Moral of the story? It’s still a game, so relax a little. And when you squeak, remember I’m howling with laughter. Be the White Knight in your shiny P-51 armor if ya want. Just beware of the stinkin drunk, brown toothed, cussing HUN in a yellow nose 109 with lotsa extra machine guns for yer chute pissed of because you just bombed my baracks and broke my last bottle of scotch. Hell,isn’t that why HiTech put the low cal machine guns in there in their anyway? They sure don’t work on aircraft! :0)
Have a nice day.
Peace,
Creamo
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(And a couple of responces:)
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Creamos favorite two things about AH
Big icons on chutes so he can find them.
Open channel so he can taunt the person after.
He implies that not being straffed by him is some kind of honor…..to be earned….
I was going to just change fields last night when he showed up but it was fun shooting him down, and vis versa…I knew what was coming anyway.. and the numbers where fair between 13-24 with both sides trying to capture the other at the same time. Ended up being pretty fun once the channel 1 banter died down.
I would much rather fight a guy that will ping my chute and tease me about it then someone who is (apparently) deliberately warping and remaining anonymous.
HT has left the capability in this game because they want it there and it is their game.
I wonder though. Do his countrymen understand that we cant tell which chute is his and that eventually everyone will be shooting every chute?
I realized I was overreacting to the chuting last night so I tried to get a feeling from the guys on RW about it. The consensus seemed to be that they would never do it.(except lurkers). I wonder. Its pretty hard not too get pissed about it the second or third time.
Pulling your rip cord at low alt is just another skill you need in AH.
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Pongo
Sturm Gruppe
[This message has been edited by Pongo (edited 01-24-2000).]
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Damn, that’s a good point Pongo. No one should feel like they are “earning” anything in reference to my discriminatory chute killing. From now on I will shoot EVERY chute I see. But if I only have say, 1 round left and there’s 2 chutes, I’ll pick yours. :0)
Don’t be worried about finding the right chute. Here’s how I do it. Keeping an eye on the message thread is key. Know where your wingmen are at all times. (you should always know that of course) When the message buffer shows SYSTEM:Thunder shot down Pongo, you know your about to see a chute under Thunders 205. Clear the area and make sure no countrymen are in trouble or there are no immediate targets. Select your guns so it’s only MG’s, not cannon because the MG’s are for tracers and chute killing. (They suck on planes.) Line em up, let em rip. The next step is very important…go to auto level and clear your six. Then watch that open channel message log. Howl with laughter as people lose their minds!
Creamo pulls out basketball and says “One, two, three” (bounces it off Pongo head) “CRY!”
“One, Two, Three” (bounces it off Pongo head) “CRY!”
BTW, those aren’t my favorite 2 things in AH. The open channel thing isn’t really my bag, although I do enjoy calling fatty a Fat Bastard when he shoots me down. It’s actually flying with the WWII Bearcat pilot in our squad. It is thrilling to know your flying wing for the real deal.
[Creamo writes a bad check, kicks dog, calls neighbor a filthy hag, and finally passes out]
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Jenga Hijacking swoops account has got to be the all time classic :D but although not "original"
How to give a cat a pill (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15454&highlight=pill) had me in hysterics the 1st time I read it. :D
TTFN
snafu
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First let me say that I don't know Creamo and I don't know Ripsnort and so I don't know their background with each other..
but I've seen snippets here and there in threads and when I read this one I just about died laughing. I believe my first response was "holy toejam" :D
It's from the 2002 Convention forum.
Yah HiJack, about 3 seconds.
I’d say, Hi, this is my wife Cathy. Where is your Mrs.?
“I lifted all day boy, check my tax returns, you want to see a man?! Smell the BMW keychain, all leather. You want to lip off? I know Shakfu, I got 78 people in my squad, I mentor a few 14 year olds. They will be President, pry invade a country by my motivational insight. Need a beer? Let me move to the outside of the booth first, lol, this waitress is digging me all night baby. I could draw out her cans on a CAD program, 767 certified if the Boeing engineers weren’t so incompetent.”
Followed by the scraping of chair legs and a couple walking off….
The other one I liked (by Creamo) I quoted in my signature
I couldn't settle on a post in the "Don't YOU get it, 9-11 is europe's fault"..
I basically laughed thru the whole damn thing.
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Most of the "HTC needs new artists, resume included" thread is gone forever I think. I managed to find the chute head (because I used to use it as background), but that's all.
(http://home.flash.net/~collis/images/FDBHEAD.gif)
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Creamo, can you dig up the rest of those pics?
Thanks,
eskimo
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Originally posted by Dux
Who was it that made that drug-induced psychedlic artwork consisting of Lake Uterus, butterflies, and fluffy bunnies?
That was Nash I believe.
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Punt this thread back up, I want to see more. :)
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Milenko has had some hilarious stuff. His Chritmas ditty and also Book of Dweeb type prose kept me rolling.
Kierans home made pix as a 190 pilot are down right the funniest grapical jokes to date in AH imo :)
As well as Jigster and Nuttz spoofs on the lines of the 'Loose Rivets'. And not to forget the Loose Rivets themselves....
Westy
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I got curious when Fatty mentioned the "HTC needs new artists, resume included" thread, so I went to look for it using the keywords HTC needs new artists, and I found this gem (I have been spitting coffee all over my monitor, keyboard and desk for the last 15 minutes now)
One of the most funny posts ever (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=50800&highlight=HTC+needs+new+artists)
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They were formatted a long time ago Eskimo.
Great link btw Hort- Missed that one somehow.Lets suppose Pyro becomes budist and feel the need to live in the Tibet for 5 years.
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Who was it that did the parody on a LW pilot using a combination of german and english? Think it was Maverick but could be wrong. Its old, back in 2000 I think. I can't locate it but it was hilarious.
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Man, all these great posts... lost. :(
Who did the cockpit with the fuzzy dice, cow-fur dashboard, and all instruments relpaced with speakers?
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First thread that came to mind for me was Hangtime & Hairball the cat. Very funny. Of coarse the whole goonMAW thing was very funny to, even if I was on the receiving end of the joke.
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First thread that came to mind for me was Hangtime & Hairball the cat. Very funny. Of coarse the whole goonMAW thing was very funny to, even if I was on the receiving end of the joke.
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I think that was Nash too Dux.
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This one still cracks me up Wingless; Again! (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9551&highlight=Wingless+Again)
Thanks for the props K West :)
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Short AH Film of a 190 (30 seconds - 2.4meg) (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=49645&referrerid=5978)
It starts fairly harmless... untill Nath come in...
:D
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(http://modena.intergate.ca/personal/cwharton/sbm/pelvismap1.jpg)
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This is truely beautiful.
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LOL! That is fediddleing hilarious Nash! :D
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LMAO! Thanks Nash!
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That was a classic Nash, need one for the new Pizza terrain coming soon. :D
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I think the one guy who posted about how a friend of his was telling him about being on the can whilst his aircraft was on autoclimb, hearing the pings and what not was one of the funniest I've read. Ah, I remember, it was a story someone heard at the con, er, A con.
The goonmaw post wasn't in anyway near as funny as being there. I died 3 times laughing so hard. They were yelling for a goon and goon-maw would say, "rgr, goon otw" repeatedly, all the while typing on squad channel, "HA, I hope they rot waiting on this goon!". And other more funny jokes. Unreal!
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Posted today by Durr, in the General Discussion Forum:
Dallas Morning News Article
This article was spotted in the Dallas Morning News:
HiTech Creations, Inc. Release Slows Down Internet
Local Flight Simulator Company releases new game, bogging down Internet throughout Northeast Texas
07/03/2002
By: BUSTER HYMEN / Dallas Morning News
HiTech Creations, Inc., a Internet based flight simulation company from Grapevine, TX that produces the popular online game, Aces High released a new version of the game today, causing Internet access to be slowed all over Texas and throughout the Southern United States.
The game is what is known in the industry as a MMOG, or massively multiplayer online game. These games are increasingly popular as more and more homes gain access to high speed Internet connections. Thousands of geeks, nerds, and dweebs from all over the world play this game 24 hours a day. The game allows you to fly in a simulation of World War II fighters, bombers, and even ground vehicles and boats.
The latest version, known as 1.10, was released amidst much hype and has been well received by the fans of this popular genre. The mad scramble to download the latest version has resulted in Internet connections all over the area being slowed to a crawl. Ping rates to local servers were in the 5000 m/s range for most of the day, even for people using T3 cable lines.
HTC founder, Dale "HiTech" Addink released the following statement: "This relese represints meny weaks of hard work bye the staf at HiTech Creatiosn. we are very prod of our eforts and we are alredy hard at work on 1.11 wich will be relese in two weeks". sic
Some local players werent as happy with the latest effort. One player we spoke to told us he had been whining for the entire two weeks he has been playing for the inclusion of a number of planes. This player, known as "Monkeyturd" (not his real name) told us, "I havent asked for much, I only wanted certain historically significant aircraft to be included and these simple requests have been completely ignored by HTC. It would be extremely simple for them to add the following planes to the planeset: the Ki-84, B-29, F-8f, F-86, Fokker Dr-1, Spirit of St. Louis, F-22, Concorde, C-141A (the short model before they added the fuselage extension), Cessna 172, UFOs, and the Goodyear Blimp. Because HTC refuses to listen to their player base and obviously sits around doing nothing all day other than drinking beer and surfing the web, I will be forced to cancel my subscription now that my free two weeks are up. Other players noted that Monkeyturd is full of monkey s***. Htcisnmbr1 (not his real name) had this to say, "Monkeyturd is cancelling because he doesnt have a real job, we dont need him anyways. Besides he was never a real Ace pilot because he always flew with combat trim on. Besides the UFO (N1k1) was modelled a long time ago in Aces High."
Other local citizens expressed grave concerns that regular releases such as this, slowing down the Internet could have grave repercussions for the economy. Doug "Pyro" Balmos, the producer of Aces High, had this to say about these concerns, "We invite all that are concerned about this subject to post on our UBB so we can ban them."
Internet service was expected to be back to normal by as early as tomorrow evening with ping rates expected to reach as high as 3000 m/s by then.
E-mail bhymen@dallasnews.com
Archives: More information on this or other topics from The Dallas Morning News.
Suscribe to the Dallas Morning News
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http://dazzle.mightyeyes.com/content/contentViewer.asp?cID=586D5F2C-4533-4AB5-B767-006E71B38B3D&authID=F0140AAF%2D4CFA%2D42C3%2D98C0%2DC712ED753220
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Originally posted by 8Avenger
http://dazzle.mightyeyes.com/content/contentViewer.asp?cID=586D5F2C-4533-4AB5-B767-006E71B38B3D&authID=F0140AAF%2D4CFA%2D42C3%2D98C0%2DC712ED753220
Hmm?
"Stop changing the subject!!!"?
eskimo
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Have you forgotten TheWobble and his " BBS light-bulbs not working, why isn't anyone helping me" apoplexy?
Or that shirtless and sweaty, shooting cans in the desert with my accident prone girlfriend yarn he spun?
Those are my all time favourites.
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Originally posted by Dowding
Have you forgotten TheWobble and his " BBS light-bulbs not working, why isn't anyone helping me" apoplexy?
Or that shirtless and sweaty, shooting cans in the desert with my accident prone girlfriend yarn he spun?
Those are my all time favourites.
Those sound familiar.
See if you can find them and paste em in here for all to read.
eskimo
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TheWobble in action:
The crash... (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15232)
then the settlement (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15968)
But what truly made TheWobble funny was Animal's unusual fascination with him:
Animal loves TheWobble (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17684)
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Hey, I'd forgotten half of that stuff!
Now, if I just click that search button...
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Ker-ching!
Posted by TheWobble in the Free Multiplayer forum:
OK I know everyone once in a while has problems with bad hosting, but this takes the cake.
FIRST:
I go into this H2h game that has no name and has 3/8 players, as i enter i see all kinds of wierd language (jap i think) I say "FFA?"
and this is what i get: "NO AMERICANS, GO!" *HOST CONNECTION LOST*
its real nice when an american gets kicked out of an american made game on an american service by squeaky gooks.
It's funny in a 'whatatard' kind of way.
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Originally posted by AKDejaVu
TheWobble in action:
The crash... (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15232)
then the settlement (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15968)
But what truly made TheWobble funny was Animal's unusual fascination with him:
Animal loves TheWobble (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17684)
How can you not be fascinated by a strong shirtless sweaty man who owns a P-51, and is so rugged that he has to eat bears and trees?!
Admit it Vu, you also had a thing for him.
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Perked Eggs and H.A.M.
by Mister Fork
eskimo
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Honorable mention:
Contest is Unfair!!!
by SOB
eskimo
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Retarded mention:
WHAAA!!!! HTC, I’m Fed-Up with the Kill-Crasher Code!!!
eskimo
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I saved these back from my start w/ AW. Classics
T.NAUGHTON [SCAVENGER]
I GO DIVING DOWN PART 5:
It was one of those lazy summer days in /MO 4. In fact I felt pretty safe as the only dots I could see had little green icons just like mine. I was just lifting off the runway when unusual things started to happen. This time the messenger of death arrived with a friendly greeting.
*6666 Hey! Is that you Scav?
*4444 Scav's Up!
*3999 Hey,Scav
Reluctantly my eyes left the horizon and moved downward to the little black place where the messages come from. It was a place I have ignored as being new meant NO RADIO MESSAGES! Raising the gear was forgotten as I tried to recall the radio procedure. Lets see I am already on Ch#1 so if I just type / and then the reply, yes that's it just / reply.
/YUP
I type the shortest message I can think of, then my hand races back to the view keys and my eyes back to the horizon as the aircraft begins to buffet. I push the nose back down and then I stab at the views but they no longer work. I am now blind in every direction but forward.
*6666 We sure like reading your posts Scav!
*4444 Yea,They are pretty funny.
*3999 Switch to CH2 Scav!
A cold sweat begins to form on my brow. The airspeed indicator is now going down not up. The buffeting is now being complemented by the stall indicator light as it joyfully blinks on and off. I don't want to be rude, yet I want to live. To fly, to roll and go diving down on some unsuspecting prey. Instead I am less than 200 ft. off the ground rapidly approaching a mountain, staggering on the verge of a stall, landing gear down, views out trying to write a letter with my left hand and fly with my right just because some guy said Hi Scav! Is that you?
I am thinking fast. Why are the views out. My eyes travel to the message line.
/YUP
sits there waiting to be............... Entered, that's it I have to hit enter to send. I quickly hit the enter and then my hand races back to the views. They work again. Why is my airspeed so low? Oh my God! The flaps are down. I must have hit the flaps when I was pounding on the views trying to get them to work. Flaps Up. Air Speed starts to crawl back up toward 100IAS. The buffeting subsides and the stall light quits blinking. Something is still not right the airspeed is going up but too slowly. Oh, the gear is still down. I think its damaged. I am getting awfully close to that mountain...
I have absolutely no idea who shot me down. I never saw him. Just just as I was trying to type the commands to switch to Channel #2 there were those red flashs going off all over the cockpit as someone put and end to my misery.
I am sure that sending messages back and forth can really be fun. One hand whipping the stick to and fro a roll here and immelman there while with the left hand one sends messages of encouragement, friendship or even invitations to a duel of death. I will learn this. Someday I too will wait high above some DWEEB I will radio Hi Dweeb, Having Fun!!! When he reaches out with that left hand I will see his aircraft begin to wobble. Then, I WILL COME DIVING DOWN!! hehehehehehe
But,For me,today, it was sort of like having the mailman show up just as I am trying to put out a fire in my house. I am naked and running around trying to figure out what room holds the dog and the cat. I hear the fire engines in the distance. They are NOT going to get here in time.
The mailman arrives, holding out a packet of mail and says just sign here. I say excuse me but my house is on fire here! He doesn't go away. He smiles sweetly and says they really enjoy reading your letters.
Reluctantly I reach into my pocket for my pen but I have no cloths on. The dog is howling, the neighbors are watching and I am wishing the fire would come and just take me quickly away.
*Numbers have been changed to accurately represent the confusion
SCAVENGER aka [RADIO MAN]
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Another classic
Scav Meets God
Message 179 Tue Dec 14, 1993
T.NAUGHTON [SCAVENGER] at 03:14 EST
======= To: BLUEBARON [BB at Kesmai] =======
- To raise a hue and cry over something that, at worst, is an odd quirk,
- and which has no useful application to combat, is in neither of our
- best interests.
I wouldnt be so sure it has no useful application to combat. I followed MD and Dustys instructions to the letter. As I came through the cumulus and 52,000 there on top of the cloud layer were DD and Wolfman trying to unravel a snarl in the telephone cables connecting their aircraft.
At 70,000 I found a woman at a giant spinning wheel weaving the great net. It spun invisibly down over the airwarrior terrain. Each time she carded the fabric I could see warps arcing out from the wheel toward the nodes.
Finally at 150,000 ft a great golden light shown on the perspex of my canopy. I saw orange sunbeams dancing across the land below from the great southern sun. A fine castle appeared to sit on clouds of cotton. At the gates sat an Arc Angel and behind him all the books of Air Warrior knowledge guarded by a Roman Centurion. Rows of writings and diagrams by the aces of history. Boxes of sound files, views, hand-crafted joysticks. Stacks and stacks of 486DX66s.
I glided slowly to a stop in front of the Angel. My heart pounded as I realized I had found the source of all knowledge and rewards in Air Warrior. I climbed onto the wing and was about approach the treasure. The great angel stood and walked over to my plane. He reached out to me. In awe I extended my hand in greeting. The angel reached past my extended hand gathering my plane into the folds of his magnificent robes. With a small smile he crushed the wings and flung us over the edge of the cloud and down into the void.
As I fell from the heavens, my plane and I wrapped in our dive of death. I uttered one last question: ...................Dok, ...........Why?.....
Because, my son.......................
You...people down there..... piss... me... off.
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Here you go, HiTechs Wedding :D