Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: hblair on April 27, 2000, 05:41:00 PM
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This is as off topic as a post can get but what the h*ll. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
My grandmother, 91 years of age, lies in a bed at my moms right now with 1 kidney at about 10%, hasn't eaten for several days. Mom checked her out of the hospital (with the doctors blessing)last weekend when grandma refused dialysis. Grandma said she didn't want to be hooked up to a machine. She says she "wants to go home to see Tom and JoAnne." Tom was my grandfather who died 5 years ago of old age, they were married about 70 years. Joanne was grandma's daughter who died as a little girl over a half century ago.
When I go by mom's to see grandma on my way home from work every day, I step up to the bed, get close to her and ask, "How ya doin grandma?" Her eyes open for a second, she says "Oh, I'm fine how are you sweetheart?". Typical of her. In my whole life I can't recall her ever having to scold me or my two brothers. We had so much respect for her that all she had to do was ask us to do something, and it was done. Didn't want to dissapoint her.
Funny thing is, she's already planned out her funeral and the whole nine yards. She is completely aware she may be gone in a matter of days. Yet she is at complete peace with herself and the whole situation.
The hospice nurse said her blood pressure dropped today and would be surprised if she lasted the weekend. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
This isn't meant as a "boohoo tearjerker" thread or nothing like that, I am just completely amazed at the courage she has, thats all.
[This message has been edited by hblair (edited 04-27-2000).]
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God's peace be on both of you and your entire family.
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Hblair, I know how you must be feeling.
My dear gandma, Lula Beckwith, passed away on April 7th, 2000. She follows her husband of 57 years, Leo Beckwith, Who died May 17th, 1995.
She died peacefully at home in the company of her loving family who was simply proud that she and Leo made our lives so much more worth living.
Sorry, I know this is off topic and I mean no disrespect to hblair and his situation, but the pain of loss is still fresh in my heart.
Yeager
[This message has been edited by Yeager (edited 04-27-2000).]
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Hblair (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
your Grandmas' courage is found in "Jeremiah 29:11-13"..The Bible of course (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif), that is if your interested (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Cyas Up!
Rude Out!
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hblair....
I never read you message as a "boohoo tearjerker" statement, but rather a deep expression and desire to share your pain with us, but also share the tremendous pride in your grandmother you obviously possess. Indeed she is a rare breed of person, with a courage and dignity not often found today.
There's an old warrior's expression going back to the days of the Spartans, plagiarized by some unmentionable movie writers and their characters, that says "Today is a good day to die". It means that one has achieved everything they wished for in life and lived it to the fullest, therefore there is no reason not to move on and face whatever is to come with great conviction and a belief that it's simply the beginning of a new journey. I often say, I always like to fight an enemy on "My Time, My Terms, My Ground". She is treating her inevitable death as an enemy, but winning a victory of sorts in deciding the time, terms and ground with which she'll engage it. Many people don't often have that opportunity. It sounds to me like she's a true warrior who has put all of the right things in order and is now ready. I salute her for her class and courage, but also salute you for sharing your personal expressions with this extended family that we sometimes create in these virtual on-line communities of the Internet.
My family's thoughts will be with you........
Badger
[This message has been edited by Badger (edited 04-27-2000).]
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hblair,
I know exactly how you feel bro. I lost my grandmother Feb 5th. She had scerosis of the liver (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif) Unfortunately her last couple of weeks were pretty bad. But I did drive to New Orleans the last day she was coherent, 3 days before she passed away, and the next morning she remembered me being there. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
She too took care of everything before she died, years before actualy. It made it SOOO much easier on my family, and let us get our greaving over with quicker I think. It still sucked though (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/frown.gif)
My heart goes out to you and your family.
oodee
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I was deeply moved by your post. I never new my Grandparents, and lost my father when I was 18. I understand that kind of loss.
Your wonderful Grandmother who has been a blessing to you and your family is passing with such dignity because she knows where she is going.
Jesus Christ, yesterday, today and forever.
You and your family will be in my prayers as so many of my squad members have been during times of pain and trial.
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daddog
332nd Flying Mongrels (http://www.ropescourse.org/flying.htm)
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My thoughts are with you as well hblair.
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bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS
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Never read your post as that "tearjerker thing" you said, My granma left us about a year ago & still aranged to send me my favourite sweets one wek she passed away (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
I fully understand how proud you can be of such a person, we share the same pride...even if they are not the same grandmothers (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Saw
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Courage and pride must run in your family hblair. Took a lot of guts to share something that personal with everyone.
And it is obvious you are very proud.
My hats off to you and your family.
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Roy "Skuzzy" Neese
President, AppLink Corp.
http://www.applink.net
skuzzy@applink.net
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A very brave, confident and caring woman Hblair! I guess some folks know when it's time and are ready. I hope when my time is near I can muster a fraction of that kind of dignity.
She's a special person. Hope you've told her (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
-Westy
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Hblair,
I have no doubt that your grandmother will indeed see "Tom & JoAnne" soon. Sounds like she lived a long full life, and she's ready to move on. I am sure you will miss her, understandably so. Here's hopeing her passing is a peacefull one.
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Badger said it well... she had a full life and gave alot... today is a good day to die... the pain goes to the relatives... I feel your sorrow hblair... and wish you well
My thought are with you.
BEE
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For i know the thoughts that i think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and i will hearken unto you.
And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
[This message has been edited by Robert (edited 04-27-2000).]
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Class never grows old.
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Life is something, isn't it? From birth to death, regardless of age, we are all so precious. It truly amazes me. Birth, death, Life. I bow to your grandmother, hblair. What a teacher she is! You are so very fortunate (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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Oh well it IS a tearjerker ... God Sped to your Grandma, you and your family !
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<S> Your grandma for me. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
My prayers are with you and your kin.
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I thank you for sharing.
Your grandmother is a great teacher.
Teapot.
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My prayers are with you & your family hblair. Your Grandmother is prepared, just as my Grandmother was last year, to win the greatest of ALL VICTORIES!
God Be With You My Friend
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Apache
Renegade Nation (http://members.xoom.com/ApacheXL/index.htm)
"Abandon All Hope"
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Reminds me of me grandmother who passed away many years ago. Five feet tall and ninety pounds, she would stand up to anybody, absolutely fearless.
"What we therefore call our Self is not the body, which is born, grows and dies, which is made of innumerable non-homogeneous parts which do not think, do not seek, do not perceive and do not understand. We are the intelligent indivisible unit 'I' - life itself, -which pervades and uses the body, which sees but cannot be seen, hears but cannot be heard, smells but cannot be smelt, knows but cannot be known; for it is always a subject, never an object. And because we cannot see, hear or smell our 'I', we mistake it for the body which can be seen, heard and smelt.
Thus the knower, or dreamer, is alone real; the known is sheer dream."
Sri Ramana Maharshi
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Hblair:
Courage comes in many forms, and the warrior in infinite guises. My deepest respects to your grandmother and your family. Our prayers go with you. God bless.
Rich J.
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I feel for you and your family and wish that there was something I could do to ease your pain.
It could never or should never be considered a "boohoo tearjerker" thread when you talk about friends or family that are ill.
I hope that you and everyone that is a part of this community understands that we are here anytime you need us.
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hblair,
Thank you for finding the courage to share this part of your life with us. Whether we like it or not, life and death are inexorably connected. You can't have one without the other. I greatly admire and envy people like your grandmother who can find such dignity and grace even in the face of death. That is true courage. But, there is also courage in witnessing a death and being a part of it as a supporter and a survivor. You are there and are finding this out first-hand and I salute you.
My grandmother died when I was about 13. She had had a horrible life, but she had wonderful support. My last images of here are described in a poem I wrote for her and for her caretaker, my grandfather. I hope it brings you some closure.
The Caretaker
She was sick.
He was tired.
She was confined to her bed, or to a wheelchair.
He was confined to her side.
He called her "Gussie".
She called him an old fool,
when whe was tired,
or in too much pain.
Such was the life of the caretaker.
Years of illness had gnarled her body.
Bed-ridden years of wheelchairs and pain
had turned her life into a living hell,
leaving only the agonized shell
of the woman she had been.
I had touched her heart once,
and made her smile.
But that was years ago.
But he was there through it all.
Ever patient,
ever caring,
ever loving.
He was there for her.
With bedpans, clean sheets, a feeding tray,
and a loving hand.
He was there for us, too.
With Uncle Remus stories
and a cold sixteen-ounce Coca Cola
on a hot summer's day.
The house was a mess,
but he had his hands full.
Still, he was always there.
I never heard him complain.
Not even once.
But I was young
and I saw him through a grandchild's eyes.
Loving.
Respecting.
Admiring.
He must have been dying inside,
but I couldn't tell it.
I never saw him shed a single tear,
until the night she died.
Then, for her, a lifetime
full of pain and suffering
was finally over.
For him, a lifetime commitment,
to love, honor, cherish, and obey,
in sickness and in health,
was fulfilled.
Karmic debts were paid,
in full.
And with her hand in his
and his head pressed against her frail, lifeless body,
he said, "I love you, Gussie,"
and shed a lifetime of tears.
Walt Barrow, © March 1989
buhdman, out
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Walt (buhdman) Barrow
(formerly lt-buhd-lite)
The Buccaneers - "Return with Honor"
home.earthlink.net/~wjbarrow
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Wow! I tell ya what, you guys are some class acts. Too many great things said to reply to all of 'em.
The shortest, from easymo, says it all "Class never grows old".
I appreciate all you fellas.
On a lighter note, I look forward to killin' you in the arena. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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She expired this morning around 3:30.
I was able to carry on a few conversations with her over the weekend that I won't forget.
Thank God for grandparents...
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You were lucky.
All my grandparents died by the time i was 20.
My grandfather was dying for something like 2 years. All his mussles deteriorated and after 2 years there was nothing but skin and bones.
He couldn't get up, lost all his teeth. He was too weak to speak, just laid there....
The day he passed away, i was happy. It was the end of suffering. It was his time. Man served in two world wars, just to die helplessly of old age....
There is no way in hell i'll ever go like that. Once i know gig is up, i'm renting a plane and going 14G turns....
My prayers are with you and your grandma hblair.
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Bartlomiej Rajewski
aka. Wing Commander fd-ski
Northolt Wing
1st Polish Fighter Wing
303 (Polish) Squadron "Kosciuszko" RAF
308 (Polish) Squadron "City of Cracow" RAF
315 (Polish) Squadron "City of Deblin" RAF
Turning 109s and 190s into scrap metal since 1998
Northolt Wing Headquarters (http://www.raf303.org/northolt/)
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As you have seen you and her have been and are in our thoughts and prayers.
Indian
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god bless her and you man dont have any better words for ya, but wish i did.
sean brookins
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My condolences hblair.
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My sincere condolences Hblair, I lost my grandfather a few years ago when I was 19, the man I respected most in my life. He's gone to a better place now like your grandmother. Philosophys differ, I look at it that one day I shall once again see my grandfather when my time is over here and that helps ease the loss, don't know if that sounds strange or not or helps at all, just the way I look at life and death...once again my sincere condolonces on your loss
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Revvin
249 Squadron RAF
Tangmere Wing