Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Wlfgng on August 27, 2002, 02:19:21 PM
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did you ever get that stuff straightened out?
some more info avail if you want.
wlf
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Well I'm a hell of a lot better than I was last week, or in reality the past 15 years. Had some thoughts last friday coming home for lunch from work and decided I couldn't do it (life) anymore. Luckily I was smart enough to call my roommates girlfriend (she's been helping me cope w/ my depression for the past 2 months) and asked her to come home with him for lunch.
I was in pretty bad shape at the time, actually the worst I've ever felt. When they got there all I could do was lay on the couch with a pillow over my head and cry. My roommate said "well you're either getting up and going back to work (I was over an hour late already) or I'm taking you to the hospital. I told him I could NOT go back to work. So he took me to the hospital and I admitted myself. That was the single most dificult thing I have ever done.
I'm not going to go into any details about what happened in the 6.5 days I was there, that's too personal for me to discuss here. But here it is the Thursday after I checked myself in and I am feeling GREAT. They haven't quite got the medication ballancing act worked out just yet but I'm only having "manic" phases now. That is MUCH better than the depression phases. The only times I have had manic attacks in the past 5 years or so has been at the WB and AH conventions.
My finances are REALY screwed up right now to the tune of about 10 grand, so it may be a while before you see me flying the skies of AH again :( If anybody knows where a guy that makes 35-40k a year that has no bank account can get a 10,000 loan with $500/month payments let me know ;)
Thanks for the concern Wlfgng, just know that I'm out of that deep dark place and on my way back to the top of my game. It's just going to take me a while because I let myself linger there too long. And thank God that I'm no longer feeling that way.
One other bit of bad news is no more alcohol, ever. That's not too bad for me because the only time I ever really drank over the past 10 years has been at the conventions.
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It takes courage to display your soul. <
> Udie, you're a brave man and may God bless you with a speedy recovery.
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What really happened at the hospital.
(http://alpha.fdu.edu/~gradford/alex-clockwork-orange.jpg)
"I'm cured!"
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Udie, that's the toughest thing in the world to do.
Congrats bro and heads up !
Drop me a line when you get some time at:
nick-tucker@attbi.com
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Animal, no that's me trying to stay awake and play AH.
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Well in all actuallity I thought I was walking into one flew over the kookoo's nest. But it was nothing like that at least in my ward anyway.
There were some very messed up people in my ward though that I thought shouldn't have been with us "minor cases". One girl had at least 10 people living in her head and 1/2 of them hate the other half and all of them but one hated her "real" personality" It was a very sad thiing to see, she'll probably never be cured. Sometimes she would literaly be switching between them ever 5 to 10 seconds. Saw somebody who had 2 elctro shock therapy treatments. And unlike the movies they knock you out for that toejam. AND it works. He was noticebly better after each treatment poor guy has 8 more to go though. I asked him if it hurt and he said the sensation was like a memory from his child hood, he knew what he had been through only he thought it was years ago instead of hours. Strange stuff
Animal this isn't pointed at you, but guys please refrain from joking about these people I have mentioned. It was VERY sad to see humans with such mental problems and helped me realise that I don't have as bad a sickness as these people do. Mine is now controlled with 1 drug taken twice a day and so far has worked perfectly. Mental science has come a LONG way since A clockwork orange or one flew over the kookoo's nest.
Thanks for all the well wishes guys but there are plenty of people out there that deserve them more than me....
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Nah, I'm not joking them nor plan to. My joke was directed at YOU ya turd fondler :D glad you are getting better
I too have dealt with people with these diseases and you'd have to be even in worse mental shape to make fun of that :(
As for shock therapy: the problem with it before was that they didnt knock you off before it, so the therapy may have cured depression but it added sever traumas to the patients, so it was really fighting fire with fire.
I'm aware it has come long ways now.
Personally if I were to ever fall into very severe depression (knocks wooden desk) I would prefer modern shock therapy to drugs. As I told in the email, some psychiatrists are very trigger happy when it comes to medicatings.
What works for me best is exersice, good nutrition, and an outlet (artistic or athletic)
Udie have you considered martial arts before?
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Wow! This guy needs to be locked up for ten years like the kid who stoled his dads beers or something like that! :eek:
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Regular..if you are referring to Udie in your post please do us all a favour and STFU.
Udie...glad to hear you have gotten things sorted out. Call me if you need anything....collect. ;)
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Udie,
If you still got my number feel free to call. We're all rooting for ya bud.
Bob
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udie i know your pain . my grandmother ( who adopted me as my mother) was a manic depresive her whole life . the cycles times were totaly unpredictable and we could never determine what set off the bad times. she was on lithium for years but hated the "haze" it put her in . it got out of controll three times in her life and she had to be commited the first two times i was to young to remember. the last one was after the gulf war when i wasent to together myself i came to visit and she had been comatose for at least two days. the hospital was a nightmare people who were truly ill/delusional. i would have rather died than comit her like that but it had to be done as she was suicidal. long story short . we got her medication changed and the last 6 or 7 years of her life were much better . almost like she wasent ill at all. still had bad times but one tenth what they had been .
p.s. this was the greatest most kind and decent individual i have ever known. without her care and love i wouldent be here.
work with the new meds with a little luck this is controlable and a normal life is possible
towd
p.s.s. there is nothing funny at all about any of this may you jokesters never have to live thru this .
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Udie.. I know you're just making us all soft and gooshey so you can come back and kick our complacent arses..
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whatever happens bro, ya got my number. I have been on most meds for this kind of stuff.
p.s. no matter what happens don't let them put you on paxil. That toejam is like heroin. I am having all kinds of problems on that stuff.
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well they've got me on depekote for mood stabilization and reprutin or something for anxiety.
Been having problems getting to sleep, took about 3 hours last night. I can tell when they ware off too. It's wierd, I either go manic or depressed and pretty hard and fast too. But after I take the recomended dosage I'm back to normal in about 30 - 45 min.
The strangest part has been the temporal (sp? ya know that time thing) distortion. Yesterday evening I called my dad in Houston to tell him I was home ok. I dialed a number that was his about 6 years ago!! Got about 1/2 way through before I realized what I was doing. Short term memory sux now too. I'm finding it REAL hard to remember names too. Typing requires a lot of backspacing now too. Today I've been dizzy all day long.
But I'm out of that deep dark pit so I'm happy so far. Did I mention the girl I met in there? A real hotty! bi-polar like me :) we talked like all week probably about 30+ hours getting to know each other. She drove her self there so we arranged to get released at the same time "so my roommate wouldn't have to miss any work" ;) She was the last thing I expected, though there is a rather large age diference. She's pretty young, but has a good head on her shoulders. Of course our feelings could just be that place, but she stayed at the house for a couple of hours last night and we've talked a lot since we got out. I know she did wonders for my self esteem and self confidence!!!
back to work....
again dudes thanks for all the well wishes!
ps. Eagler you'll love this one :D The doc convinced me to stop smoking pot for a few months to get the meds worked out right so I've quit FOR NOW cool part is that I haven't had ANY urge to smoke it since I got out. I even have a bit from b4 I went in and didn't touch it last night. Trying to do the smart thing here!
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Originally posted by Udie
well they've got me on depekote for mood stabilization and reprutin or something for anxiety.
Been having problems getting to sleep, took about 3 hours last night. I can tell when they ware off too. It's wierd, I either go manic or depressed and pretty hard and fast too. But after I take the recomended dosage I'm back to normal in about 30 - 45 min.
The strangest part has been the temporal (sp? ya know that time thing) distortion. Yesterday evening I called my dad in Houston to tell him I was home ok. I dialed a number that was his about 6 years ago!! Got about 1/2 way through before I realized what I was doing. Short term memory sux now too. I'm finding it REAL hard to remember names too. Typing requires a lot of backspacing now too. Today I've been dizzy all day long.
But I'm out of that deep dark pit so I'm happy so far. Did I mention the girl I met in there? A real hotty! bi-polar like me :) we talked like all week probably about 30+ hours getting to know each other. She drove her self there so we arranged to get released at the same time "so my roommate wouldn't have to miss any work" ;) She was the last thing I expected, though there is a rather large age diference. She's pretty young, but has a good head on her shoulders. Of course our feelings could just be that place, but she stayed at the house for a couple of hours last night and we've talked a lot since we got out. I know she did wonders for my self esteem and self confidence!!!
back to work....
again dudes thanks for all the well wishes!
ps. Eagler you'll love this one :D The doc convinced me to stop smoking pot for a few months to get the meds worked out right so I've quit FOR NOW cool part is that I haven't had ANY urge to smoke it since I got out. I even have a bit from b4 I went in and didn't touch it last night. Trying to do the smart thing here!
Way to go dude hope things fall into the right place from now on.
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Udie, then you probably know that contrary to what pot smokers would have you belive, habitual pot smoking does usually cause or at least is associated with depression.
Wtg on stopping man.
As far as I'm concerned this situation takes more of a man than anything I've seen on this BBS.
People posture left and right and brag, etc..
you da man
( assuming this isn't a troll that is ! .. looks behind Udie to make sure Elf isn't back there....)
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Originally posted by Wlfgng
Udie, then you probably know that contrary to what pot smokers would have you belive, habitual pot smoking does usually cause or at least is associated with depression.
Wtg on stopping man.
As far as I'm concerned this situation takes more of a man than anything I've seen on this BBS.
People posture left and right and brag, etc..
you da man
( assuming this isn't a troll that is ! .. looks behind Udie to make sure Elf isn't back there....)
hehe well actually no :D I'm just scared to mix all these chems in my brain at one time. I've been told by doctors in the past that THC affects the fluid between the synapses. Causes them to turn into a gelatine type substance. That doc said it doesn't really affect the transmitters themselves. As far as I know these depression drugs are affecting the neural transmitters and the actuall chemicals that come out of them. So I don't scientificly know weather or not it would be bad. The doc said that I should quit for general health reasons, but she told me to quit smoking cigs too :) But hey, I'm always open to new ideas. If it's time to quit it's time to quit.
:)
Honestly I was lieing when I told her I would quit, I just didn't have the urge last night so I didn't smoke.
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Hey UDIE;)
Sorry to hear this, but I am more than positive that the UDIE I know is welling and able to overcome such a hurdle:)
BEST OF LUCK
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You can do it Udie.
I quit smoking both and if I can do it anyone can... I am a totally addictive personality and a wimp. Jeez, look how much I post here!!
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be sure to eat right, excercise and stay busy
an idle mind/body will get you in trouble every time
best of luck Udie, ur in our prayers sir
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Originally posted by Eagler
best of luck Udie, ur in our prayers sir
in that case please make sure to say Udieeeee or Sean ;)
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Originally posted by Wlfgng
( assuming this isn't a troll that is ! .. looks behind Udie to make sure Elf isn't back there....)
Yeah, that's it- Elfie the Troll. So no matter what advice I ever give that is germane- no matter what I ever say that might somehow make sense- and, after 800 plus posts my enemies still attack me and no matter what my rebuttal is I will always be wrong because I am a troll- well, thanks alot guys. Of course never mind that when the chips were down and when Udie posted on his original post that he felt "irregular" and I was the first to ask him to seek the opinion of his doctor while all of you were making jokes I guess I was trolling huh? Look, I obviously have no credibility on these BBS. Kiss my ass.
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Glad to hear everythings working for the better udie. Hope you continue to improve man....
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Originally posted by Animal
What works for me best is exersice, good nutrition, and an outlet (artistic or athletic)
That is SO true!..(the creative outlet thing)
Udie,you have listened to yourself and will pull through...I only wish I had that courage.
BTW,Animal negleted to mention fishing as good for the heart an' sole..err..soul..:)
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you do have a dog right ?
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Originally posted by SirLoin
That is SO true!..(the creative outlet thing)
Udie,you have listened to yourself and will pull through...I only wish I had that courage.
BTW,Animal negleted to mention fishing as good for the heart an' sole..err..soul..:)
LOL well this morning I got woke up by a baaaad dream at about 5 am. I didn't want to go back to sleep and risk geting in to that same dream. So I decided to used the time for exercise. Holy cow batman that hurt! I ran er.. jogged... er walked, I mean crawled about a mile to the 7/11 and back. Got an apple and some cantelope at the store. While a the store I made the mistake of taking a drink from the gatorade I got. When I got back home I puked!!! First time I've ever puked running. Then again I haven't jogged in about 16 years so what should I expect huh? Then I did 4 reps of 10 push ups, yeah I know not a lot but I'm a skinny guy so those are tough. Went back to sleep by 6:15 or so and just woke up.
Time to take the meds.....
oh yeah, today will be spent at Lake Georgetown w/ the girlfriend or at another lake fishin with the roommate :) So it should be a good day!
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Udie if you havent exersiced for a while the first two weeks will be painful.
However, after you get over that, you will be addicted and your own body will urge you to lift weights or run a mile.
Its great because when you exersice your body rewards you with nice natural drugs that soothe you and make you feel mellow :)
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heheh, I had "Eye of the Tiger" going in through my head as I read your last post. Sounds like you're doing better already.
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Didn't know anything until I read this thread.
Good to hear you're doing better, and yeah- I would stay away from the weed for a long, long time if I were you.
It also thickens the cell walls which slows down neural communication because not all eletrical charges get through the cell walls.
Plus there's also that calibration period for the drugs so they can get you on the right dose, and doing anything other than that drug they prescribed you will throw it off balance.
Anyhow, take it easy... and send me the rest of your bag. :D
-SW
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Originally posted by AKSWulfe
Didn't know anything until I read this thread.
Good to hear you're doing better, and yeah- I would stay away from the weed for a long, long time if I were you.
It also thickens the cell walls which slows down neural communication because not all eletrical charges get through the cell walls.
Plus there's also that calibration period for the drugs so they can get you on the right dose, and doing anything other than that drug they prescribed you will throw it off balance.
Anyhow, take it easy... and send me the rest of your bag. :D
-SW
yeah I took 2 hits last night and had to go to bed at about 10:30 was like getting sick after 15 beers only I wasn't drunk. A little dizzy and alot nausiated!
I'll be taking at least a 3 to 6 month brake from that stuff :(
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Just sent you email, bro, with my phone number. Call me anytime, any day, collect.
I talk much better than I fly.