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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Udie on September 05, 2002, 07:06:07 PM

Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 05, 2002, 07:06:07 PM
Engine blew up after work today.....



:confused:
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: funkedup on September 05, 2002, 07:43:23 PM
Arrrrrrrrgh

Reminds me of my old roomate.

Comes home in a rainstorm from a bad day at work (he almost got fired).  Takes a turn too fast and spins the car in front of our apartment building.  Nails two parked cars, and totals his car.

He's unhurt.  But in his hurry to call a tow truck and the police he leaves his keys and wallet in the car.  Comes back and the keys and wallet have been stolen.

I finally come home from school and let him in the apartment.  He's still pretty pissed but starting to calm down.  We go down to get our mail.  He gets two items of mail.  The first is his insurance payment, returned for insufficient postage (he forgot to put a stamp on it).  The second thing in the mail is his car insurance cancellation notice because they didn't recieve his payment.  Needless to say, he had a coniption.  About all I could do is remind him that he was lucky to be unhurt.

It could be worse dude.  :)

PS This guy was bipolar, for real.  Took lithium IIRC.

PPS The cool part of the story is that one of the parked cars only had minor damage, and the owner of the other parked car (which was really messed up) never contacted my friend even though we left several notes on the car.  The car just sat there all messed up for months.  Our lease expired, we moved out and I don't think he ever heard from the owner.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 05, 2002, 11:17:49 PM
Just wish this was my only problem right now.  It's only one in a long string of them.  It will all get worked out Im sure, but it will suck until then.


 life goes on....
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Staga on September 06, 2002, 02:05:12 AM
Sometimes there's days when it looks everything you touch turns to a crap (touch of the manure-midas...).
All you can do then is sit back and wait; usually things don't look that bad after good night sleep and sometimes there's also easy solutions to problems which did look hard earlier.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 06, 2002, 09:51:52 AM
yeah staga I call that the "anti-midus" I had it yesterday morning bad.

 all I can say right now is that I just thought I was depressed 2 weeks ago.  Just a damn good thing I don't own a gun and a bullet........
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Kratzer on September 06, 2002, 10:01:20 AM
Knock that toejam off right now.   Seriously.

Nobody in AH is allowed to take themselves out of the game.  I'll send a bunch of FDBs to kick your ass.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Eagler on September 06, 2002, 10:01:31 AM
just remember life is a giant sine wave and ....
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: midnight Target on September 06, 2002, 10:09:33 AM
Good one Eagler.

Udie.. It has been shown that the act of smiling can actually trigger a beneficial chemical reaction in your body. So do it! There has got to be something funny about all this.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 06, 2002, 10:33:41 AM
Sorry guys all I see is a great big stop sign.  I ain't gonna off myself, that's a first class ticket to the big fire dance.  Plus I don't want to hurt my parents like that.

 But for the first time in my life I'm at a place where I have no answers and every avenue I try ends up at the same big stop sign.

 I'm about 90% sure I'll be laid off at the end of the month too.....


 Honestly I'm thinking about just dropping everything and going to join the peace corps or something.  Maybe a trip to help out in the 3rd world will help me learn some big life lesson or something. At least it would get me out of where I'm at now.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: lazs2 on September 06, 2002, 10:39:43 AM
well... u only have so much luck both good and bad..  whenever I have a long streak of bad luck I figure I am just getting it all out of the way so that I can get on to the good stuff..   Less sensitive people who know me feel that it is karma.
lazs
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Wlfgng on September 06, 2002, 10:42:51 AM
Udie, I have experience with dealing with very severe depression in the form of my Mother having bi-polar.

Hang in there since the way you feel now is bound to change.  Remember that this is a chemical thing and it causes your brain/emotions/feelings to go through huge swings.. both up and down.  

Eagler is right on.  Your are in the depth of a well but will not stay there forever.  It's not easy to believe right now but you will feel better !

You have lots of friends that are pulling for you and
you have to focus on the fact that things will improve!
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Creamo on September 06, 2002, 10:44:02 AM
It's a Tumor Ooody. :(
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 06, 2002, 11:00:11 AM
Nov. 1, 2000  -  To get rid of severe depression I change careers and move in w/ my best friend in Austin.

Nov, 2000 - election BS

Dec. 30, 2000 - Middle of nowhere Louisiana 10:30 pm water pump blows out,  I think it's the heater core.  Aprox 5-10 min later engine follows the water pumps lead.

 2 months no transport

March, 2001 - next door neighbor's house burns down missing my house by a slight few degrees of wind direction.

August, 2001 - Neck hurst so I go get xray,  doc says "we saw a spot you need an MRI"  $1000 later MRI says everything is ok.

Sept. 11, 2001 -   ........

November, 2001 -  Best friend at work and one of my best friends I've met in the Austin area dies.

insert a few good months

 June, 2002 - Nasty black/purple mole grows on back.  Doc says "that looks like cancer" surgery no. 1 (minor I know) a week of fright later I get the "all clear"

 June, 2002 - Dick tumor

 July, 2002 - Work dramaticly slows down 2nd round of lay offs in one years time, pushing me up to the top of the list for the next round.

 August 1-4, 2002 - Insert really needed and fun weekend

 August, 2002 - first time I ever give up control of my life and commit myself into mental institution.

 August, 2002 - Doc "over prescribes" a major psychotopic drug.

September 2, 2002 - Toxic reaction to prescribed Depekote, 27 vomits in 12 hours.

 September 3, 2002 - down to $25 with 1.5 weeks to go until my smallest check in over 15 years.

 September 5, 2002 - car dies, $3500 to rebuild engine for 2nd time.

 Thank God in Heaven for fising or I would have already lost my mind.......



there's more bad toejam that happened too, this is just what I can remember right now
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Creamo on September 06, 2002, 11:04:45 AM
Oh, you did have a dick tumor?

Geez, sorry. I really WAS trying to lighten up the post.

At least you didn't go gay on ElFie...

Oh God, I can't watch...
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Kratzer on September 06, 2002, 01:23:02 PM
What do you do for a living, Udie?

And how old ar you?
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 06, 2002, 01:46:06 PM
33 yrs Drafstman, currently civil but did Architectural for 10 yrs....
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: AKIron on September 06, 2002, 01:55:39 PM
Udie, things always get better when ya just hang on even if that's all you can do.

You're very right about the pain it would cause your parents and others if you took your own life. My son-in-law recently couldn't cope and ended his own life. There's no way I can describe the pain that has left behind. Trust me, you do not want to inflict that kind of suffering on those you love.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Creamo on September 06, 2002, 02:15:34 PM
SOB is fat AND unemployed. He might even run out of windshield wiper solution, or gas. Or his spark plugs will erode?

Just kill him instead.

(http://football2422.fantasy.nfl.com/var/images/news/10302724413/turtle.jpg)
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: funkedup on September 06, 2002, 02:18:37 PM
Udie if you are having thoughts about offing yourself you need to tell your doc.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Ripsnort on September 06, 2002, 02:43:12 PM
Udie, EVERY BAD MOMENT of my life, ended in SOMETHING GOOD!  Examples? I can give ya hundreds...I got drunk one night, woke with a hang over...I was PISSED because my step-brother didn't wake us up in time to head to Mt.St. Helens to photograph the steam coming out of her...we had BLUE ZONE PASSES...you know how hard those were to get???  Well, that was Sunday morning, May 18th, 1980 that my stupid step-brother failed to wake us up on....(most if not all the victims of Mt.St.Helens were in the Blue zone)

I was laid off from Boeing in 1982, after 9 months of unemployment, I went to bartending school in order to grab a night job to go back to school....well, bartending is where I met my wife! She was cocktailing and going to the same college! Had I not been laid off, I would have NEVER met her!

Out of something bad, something GOOD always comes down the road because of it...silver lining in every cloud.

I know your too smart to off yourself, and mentioning it is usually a sign of depression, tell your doc.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: easymo on September 06, 2002, 03:14:13 PM
When I was younger, I wasted a little time on "Why me?  Why me?".  The answer always came back the same.  Why NOT me?  I am just another critter on this planet.  And they all have troubles.  Many worse then mine.

  The same day your motor blew,  my eldest daughter fell and shattered her wrist.  Its 40 degrees out of radius, and full of bone fragments. Surgery on the 15th.  The reason she fell, was that three weeks ago she fell and broke her foot. When no one was around to help her, she decided to get up and answer the phone (bad move). So now, with a 2year old, and a 5 year old, to look after, she cant walk, and cant hold onto crutches.

  I would tell you the same thing I said to her.  We will deal with the problems as they arise, and then move on.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Creamo on September 06, 2002, 03:15:38 PM
OK, truth be told Im not St.Santa's limpwhistle fluffer, and I don't polish his helmet and  leather fancy pants with imported russian muskrat oil.

Don't off yerself.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: AKDejaVu on September 06, 2002, 03:43:13 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Creamo
SOB is fat AND unemployed. He might even run out of windshield wiper solution, or gas. Or his spark plugs will erode?
That's not true.  I know I pay him $20 every tuesday... money well spent.

AKDejaVu
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Creamo on September 06, 2002, 03:52:02 PM
See, don't blame me. Im off the hook.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: AKDejaVu on September 06, 2002, 04:07:48 PM
BTW... Udie,

Get some professional help.  The BBS is great for BS but not where you should go for psychological advice.

AKDejaVu
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: midnight Target on September 06, 2002, 04:18:49 PM
Udie,

A few years back (ok 20ish) I was married with a small baby. As I was driving home from work, my car cracks the head and dies. I walk the 6 miles or so home. When I get there I discover that we have less than no money. My wife is digging out pennies and rolling them up so I might have enough gas money to get to work (in the other car). Two days later the second car dies. I walk back to look after my first dead car, but when I arrive the thing is stripped clean. I mean no seats, no tires, no stereo.... nothing. I walk back home. Now I'm desperate, so i call my insurance company. They tell me that yes I'm covered for the stolen property, would I like to replace them myself? I think.. whats the catch? They say that they will pay for replacement parts, and give me 10.00 per hour at base shop times to do the work myself. I recieved a hefty check in the mail 2 days later.

Bottom line, I had enough money to get both cars running and to eat until my paycheck arrived. If I hadn't been ripped off, I wouldn't have had the money I needed.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Eagler on September 06, 2002, 04:31:44 PM
good and bad

there is a reason for and a lesson in everything

nothing happens by accident

hang in there, as low as you go now is as high as you'll fly later
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: eskimo2 on September 06, 2002, 06:30:28 PM
Udie,
Your job sucks.  Working for the man basically sucks.  My wife is an architect too, and through her work (and school) I’ve met a lot of you guys.  Pretty much every architect that I’ve met hates their job and says that it’s just not how they thought it would be.  The only exceptions are the very few who work their way up to principal ownership.
We do have one architect friend, however, who told his boss that he needed a few months off regardless if he had a job when he got back.  Well, he and some other architects went to South America and built a school in the middle of the Amazon jungle!  They ate off the land, slept in hammocks, and got to know the folks in the village pretty well.  Anyway, this friend of ours had one hell of a great personality, and it got even better after his adventure.  He seemed to have a new perspective on life and seems very happy.

Your Peace Corps idea sounds great, although it’s hard as hell to get into.  There are alternatives if you don’t want to bother with them…  If your not married, now’s the time to do that kind of thing.
You’ll definitely feel pretty good about yourself (or maybe you’ll just die of malaria…).  

I also know a guy who gave up architecture for architectural rendering.  He works for himself and loves his work.  Learn 3D studio and work for yourself perhaps.

I’ve been at the bottom of the crapper a few times too Udie, it can all change for the better in a day.

eskimo
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Puke on September 06, 2002, 06:48:39 PM
Udie, sometimes these trying times can make your life richer.  I know it's no fun going through them, but once you survive them and can look back, you will know peace wherever you are.  I'll not go into any details because they are just for me, but I sorta miss elements of my trying days.

Things do get better.  AH 1.11 will be out in 2-weeks for example.  And further down the road, just imagine the flight simulations industry in 5-years.  You do not want to miss that!
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: loser on September 06, 2002, 08:40:50 PM
Udie, I would just like to say that i have a great deal of respect for you.

You come on to a public bbs and say that you are having a hard time of things and you are reaching out.  Most people i know have trouble going to seek professional advice under strict confedentiality let alone spilling their heart out in front of non-professional people they dont even know.

I would also like to thank the AH community for being so supportive and honest; insofar as sharing their own personal stories of when things just werent right.

I would like to add one point.


You can get another car, you can get another job, you can get another friend, you can get another girl, you can get another house, you can get another computer after it is obsolete....

You only get one Udie.

I dont think there is one person here that can say that they have always had their ducks in a row, and never had a streak of bad luck.  Ripsnort even forgot to mention the times he was shot at.

I think if Sikboy were to reply he might say "Hear the angels sing"

but he will have to explain that one to you.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Toad on September 07, 2002, 12:03:54 AM
Quote
Originally posted by loser
You can get another car, you can get another job, you can get another friend, you can get another girl, you can get another house, you can get another computer after it is obsolete....

You only get one Udie.


This is one Loser you want to listen too!  

Udie, every day you get out of bed is a good day, trust me on this one.

Each and every one of us goes through that sine wave that Eagler posted above. EVERYONE of us.

Things will turn... they always do. Believe.

It WILL get better.

... and sooner or later you're going to look back on this and laugh about how BAD it was but how you made it on out of it. Like the time in college that my roommates and I were so broke we ate peanut butter and jelly taco shells for two weeks. All we had in the cabinet and for some reason we had quite a bit of it. Sucked then, funny now.

Take care, bud. I'm looking forward to going fishin with you next Con. Just went to the new Cabela's that opened today in KC and bought myself an entry level fly rod. Been borrowing equipement long enough!

Smile.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: rocky on September 07, 2002, 09:24:21 AM
Udie. i spilled coffee on myself tree times this morning before i was finally successful...buck up little cheerio!
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Thrawn on September 07, 2002, 09:55:43 AM
Udie, you have a chemical imbalance.  Your best chance at fixing this is finding the right meds to correct this imbalance.

You need to get in contact with and stay in contact with a professional.  Please don't try to go this alone.  At then end of the day, all we on the BBS can do is give you moral support, we don't know toejam about psychiatry.   And we might help you get through the day in the short term.

But if you want to beat this you need a pro.

Here's a link to a chat room for people that have been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

http://bipolar.about.com/mpchat.htm


Here's a link to a history of one persons med trail and error period. Remeber, "Not everyone goes through a long, involved process! "

http://bipolar.about.com/library/weekly/bl-titration.htm

New treatment options.

http://www.nami.org/helpline/newtreatment.html

I did a quick google search on the topic and let me tell you there is TONS of info out there an this disorder.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 07, 2002, 10:43:54 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Thrawn
Udie, you have a chemical imbalance.  Your best chance at fixing this is finding the right meds to correct this imbalance.

You need to get in contact with and stay in contact with a professional.  Please don't try to go this alone.  At then end of the day, all we on the BBS can do is give you moral support, we don't know toejam about psychiatry.   And we might help you get through the day in the short term.

But if you want to beat this you need a pro.

Here's a link to a chat room for people that have been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

http://bipolar.about.com/mpchat.htm


Here's a link to a history of one persons med trail and error period. Remeber, "Not everyone goes through a long, involved process! "

http://bipolar.about.com/library/weekly/bl-titration.htm

New treatment options.

http://www.nami.org/helpline/newtreatment.html

I did a quick google search on the topic and let me tell you there is TONS of info out there an this disorder.  



 right now I do, because the shrink overdosed me with socalled anti-depressant drugs. In the end I may,  I dunno I'm not a doctor.  Right now I'm MAJORLY imballanced in the wrong direction.  Hopefuly the emergency room doctor was correct when he said it would take about a week for the Depakote to get out of my system.  

 I went in depressed and came out with a constant anxiety attack-psychotic feeling.  Upon MUCH thought over the past 2 weeks there are plenty of reasons of why I was depressed.  Such as not living my life the way I think I should for one. Which leads me to all the financial toejame I'm in now.  And other stuff that I won't mention here.  Top it all off my roommate - soon to be ex-best friend (if the current attitude is kept up) think's he's a doctor too and that I need meds.   I know me better than anybody and I know that the way I felt when I went in to the hospital compaired to how I've felt since I've been out is NOT normal.  Now I have to take fediddle'n xanax to be able to have rational thought.  Before I NEVER had a problem with rational thought unless I was extremely pissed off (this is the feeling I've had since I got out).

 By next wednesday if I still feel like this,  I go speak to a lawyer, two other psychiatrist and start the process of seeing how much they F'ed my head up in that place.  Several people I have talked to that went to the same hospital talk about the same type of reaction.  Honestly I'm real pissed at myself that I let some head shrink diagnose me as bi-polar in 20 minutes.  Yup that's right she made her diagnosis in 20 min then started pumping 1500 mil's of that poison in me everyday.  If a heart doctor told me he wanted to crack my chest open I would go get 3 or 4 other opinions, why I didn't here I don't know.  

 As for now each day that passes gets a bit better.  I can feel the drug leaving my system, but it is still in there.  

 I did get one bit of good news this morning.  My car isn't dead :D  It looks like everything BUT the engine blew out so it will only cost me a few hundred dollars to fix. :D Now to deal with the short term money problems.  Hopefuly in a month (provided I don't  get the axe) I should be back on track.  Hopefuly I'm back on the upswing on that big wave, because this is as low as I've EVER been and it has been the worst week of my life, aside from losing my grand mother.  Thank God for this BBS too because you guys have been a HUGE help in getting those "evil" offing myself thoughts out of my head.

 Thanks for all the emails guys!!!!

:)
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: AKIron on September 07, 2002, 11:06:17 AM
Was an interesting spot on 48 hours (I think) last night. Covered the increasing controversy among doctors as to whether the use of psychostimulants in treating ADHD is succesful or appropriate.

I'm certainly no doctor but have felt that drugs have been way over prescribed in treating mood and behavioral disorders in the US. They may quiet the symptoms but don't solve the underlying problems. Unless of course as a species we've evolved into an animal incapable of naturally coping with our environment.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: milnko on September 07, 2002, 11:12:07 AM
Kurt Russell was interviewed by Mark and Brian on KLOS in Los Angeles.

He was ask how his kids felt about having celebrity parents (Kurt and Goldie Hawn); his answer has always stuck with me, as it's so true;

"My Mother always said that if everyone were to put all thier troubles into paper bags and then everyone were to toss them into the air at the same time, you'd see alot of scambling as everyone tried to reclaim thier own bag"[/i]

Hang in there Udie. I'm sure you'll make all the right choices to get past your current hurdles.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 07, 2002, 11:32:50 AM
Quote
Originally posted by AKIron
Was an interesting spot on 48 hours (I think) last night. Covered the increasing controversy among doctors as to whether the use of psychostimulants in treating ADHD is succesful or appropriate.

I'm certainly no doctor but have felt that drugs have been way over prescribed in treating mood and behavioral disorders in the US. They may quiet the symptoms but don't solve the underlying problems. Unless of course as a species we've evolved into an animal incapable of naturally coping with our environment.



 This is part of the reason I'm pissed at myself for letting them diagnose/treat my "problem".  I've seen first hand people being treated for bi-polar.  None of the people I know ever got "fixed".  Their lives are still misserable,  in fact most of them are worse off now than they were before they saught treatment.

 Day by day I'm feeling better though so that's good.  When and if I recover from the Depakote I will decide wether I  need meds or therapy.  Right now I'm leaning towards therapy.  The week in the hospital we had daily therapy, single and group.  I learned more about myself from those and gained more help from them than the meds have harmed me, so that's a good thing.

 I hope they didn't create an imballance in me, because I think that the reason I was depressed was my actions in life.  Years of wasted potential, mostly due to wanting to go smoke a joint asap.  Which cost me both professionaly AND socialy.  Been almost 3 weeks since I smoked and right now I don't know if I'll go back to it.  At least not like I had been.

 Just wish you guys could have been inside of my brain Monday night.  There is no way to describe the Hell that I went through.  Hopefuly none of you will EVER have to suffer through it.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: SirLoin on September 07, 2002, 11:52:27 AM
I went through a severe depression about 10 years ago when I was laid off my aircraft mechanic's job at Boeing after 5 years,with no real hope of recall.This and being single(too down to impress any chicks) put me in a very dark and prolonged state.I also was getting these headaches that would only go away if I could get to sleep.

I went to my doctor.He prescribed Prozak.I took the pills for three days(not long enough for them to have an effect) and then quit,deciding to tackle the major issues that was draggin me down....I also went to get my eyes checked.

Well,turns out me needed glasses..My headaches went away.

I got lucky finding a decent,steadyjob,a beautiful wife(child due in 3 months)and haven't had a bout of SEVERE depression in 8 years.

Thinkin back,I lucky to make it through those years ..but a good part of that was making the right choices too...And the only reason I got through it was by seeking help and listening to myself...
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Kratzer on September 07, 2002, 11:53:11 AM
Dude, if you are having episodes like this, knock the pot of permanantly, and now.  Regardless of what people think of it, it is a mild hallucinogen, and isn't going to do you anything but harm  in your shape.  Of all the people I've known with depression, etc., adding pot or too much booze into the equation did nothing but trigger more episodes.  It isn't diddlying worth it.

Your mind is just like the rest of your body - you can't mistreat it and then act all confused when it revolts against you.  Self medication is generally a bad idea... feeling better on the short term can very well make things worse in the long run.  You get into that cycle, and you can spiral downward with each 'self-help' causing another episode, and each episode causing more 'self-help'.  I saw a buddy in a VERY similar situation to yours (meds screwed him up), and he started drinking heavily to feel better - it ended up a couple years later with his wife and newborn baby moving out.  It is hard getting past that hurdle (read: TIME), but if you do, things will turn around.

Not trying to put too much emphasis on pot as the source of all your worries, but trust me, it probably ain't helpin'.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 07, 2002, 12:13:24 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Kratzer
Dude, if you are having episodes like this, knock the pot of permanantly, and now.  Regardless of what people think of it, it is a mild hallucinogen, and isn't going to do you anything but harm  in your shape.  Of all the people I've known with depression, etc., adding pot or too much booze into the equation did nothing but trigger more episodes.  It isn't diddlying worth it.

Your mind is just like the rest of your body - you can't mistreat it and then act all confused when it revolts against you.  Self medication is generally a bad idea... feeling better on the short term can very well make things worse in the long run.  You get into that cycle, and you can spiral downward with each 'self-help' causing another episode, and each episode causing more 'self-help'.  I saw a buddy in a VERY similar situation to yours (meds screwed him up), and he started drinking heavily to feel better - it ended up a couple years later with his wife and newborn baby moving out.  It is hard getting past that hurdle (read: TIME), but if you do, things will turn around.

Not trying to put too much emphasis on pot as the source of all your worries, but trust me, it probably ain't helpin'.




 I understand everything you've said :) and believe me it will be a while before I smoke it just because of the financial problems.  I doubt I will ever use it like I did in the past though.  Who knows though.  Right now I've got bigger probs to face :)
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Kratzer on September 07, 2002, 12:42:05 PM
Just put one foot in front of the other - you will get through.
Title: This sure does feel like a HUGE rain cloud
Post by: Udie on September 07, 2002, 01:08:08 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Kratzer
Just put one foot in front of the other - you will get through.



 hehe yeah you'd think.  Get the good news about the car, but now I need a new place to live :).  My roommate (best friend of 15 yrs) has picked this week (arguably the worst in my life) to become a dick to me.  Hasn't said but maybe 4 words to me all week and all of them negative.  SIGH   one thing after another.

 Guess I'm lookin at moving back in w/ mom for a month or 2 at the ripe old age of 33 years old.  But what ever,  all I know is there ain't NO room in life for dickhead people.

oh well I'll be better for it in the end I'll have independence and he will have lost his best friend and the best fishing partner he'll ever find.....