Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Ripsnort on October 28, 2002, 02:34:48 PM
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This is the kind of scarey crap you as a parent are afraid of...even though these folks were adults..
Kudo's to the poster who stood up for his decision to monitor his childrens websites visited.
Robinson, 58, is on trial in the slayings of Suzette Trouten, 27, in 2000, and Izabela Lewicka, 21, a former Purdue University student, a year earlier. He met both through the Internet. He is also being tried in the death of Lisa Stasi, 19, who disappeared in 1985 and has never been found.
In Missouri, he is accused of killing two women and a girl whose bodies were found in barrels in a storage locker in suburban Kansas City, Mo.
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20021028_1198.html
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couldn't agree more Rip, children have parents to watch over them and protect them when they don't have the judgement themselves.
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Funny... I had unrestricted access to the internet since I was 13...
Of course, my dad told me there's plenty of nutjobs, sickos and roadkill on the internet...
Maybe they shouldn't be trying to meet people over the internet?
And I'm serious too, it's because people aren't taught the realities of the internet that these horror stories come true.
Learn through stories, not through experiences.
-SW
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Just Yesterday, my 14 year old asked why she couldn't get on the computer when we weren't around. We have "parental controls" so why not huh?
I'm gonna show her why not. Thank you Rip.
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MT, you conservative nutjob. I would suggest keeping track of your daughter by putting a chip in her neck. But I figured it would just break the it first time you beat her with a bat.
*looks back at the text above with quiet self-approval*
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Hehe...
Caught me. When it comes to my youngest daughter I can be downright Eagleresque. :p
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Hehe...
Caught me. When it comes to my youngest daughter I can be downright Eagleresque. :p
Easier to be a liberal in principle than in practice.
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Liberal principles are for adults. Don't try to read any more into it than that.
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Its the odd thing about the internet.
People can pick and choose what they want to show you about themselves. They can also talk with you, learn something about you and then come back as someone else all together.
People that impress you the most are the ones that are the most articulate. People that usually stand out are the ones that write exceptionally well. Neither are indicators of mental stability or anything really. But both can instill trust.
Its partly why I spend alot of time reading into what people are saying. Its what they don't want to show you that matters... not what they choose to let you see.
AKDejaVu
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My kids don't get on the internet, and prolly won't for a while.
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What does this have to do with children?
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how many of you have 27 year old kids that you monitor ?
Parental control is a home issue.
It's up to you what you do with your kids.
But don't you try to justify that to get government to police the internet.
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Well you see,
When something bad happens TO you and you are under 20, you are considered too young, or a teenager.
When you DO something to others and you are under 20, we try you as an adult, especially in Florida.
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Although Rips article shows the interactions between adults, these sort of stalking incidents are happening to very young teenagers. Haven't heard of one involving a child though.
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Gut. You used the words;
Liberal
Principals
And, Adult
all in the same sentence. You must be a madman. :)
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It's a dangerous world.
Dangerous for children even more so than adults.
BUT... I have absolutely no interest in living in a world that is absolutely safe for children. That's why they have parents, guardians to show them the way and avoid the dangers.
If a predator manages to get to your child, it's your fault. You have failed in your reponsibility.
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Yeah, and one to fullfill this responsiblity and to protect your child from predators is to monitor your child's internet habits.
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I'm pretty Liberal, and I'd sure as hell monitor the websites my kids visited (if I had kids that is).
Its parental responsiblity. Pure and simple.
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Originally posted by Karnak
I'm pretty Liberal, and I'd sure as hell monitor the websites my kids visited (if I had kids that is).
Its parental responsiblity. Pure and simple.
Yep agree, in another thread here in the OC, a poster was getting lambasted for "monitoring" what his 9 yr. old was surfing, naturally he got egged by our liberal friends. Just saying...its GOOD to know what your kids up to.
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As Thrawn says, monitor your children's habits.
Now... this is a different statement than, "monitor your children's activity."
I guess it depends on your child. Some may require closer attention then others.
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If your not "intruding" in your childs life to the point that you know what they're up to, then your not doing your job. Kids that go unattended, or parents don't know who, where, what, when they're doing it, have the problems...trust me, I was one of those kids! ;) Yes, monitor their activity.
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Allowing a 9 year old free access to the internet isn't Liberal. It's Stupid!
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On the other hand, as our children start getting older I believe they have the right to a degree of privacy. :D
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Yep agree, in another thread here in the OC, a poster was getting lambasted for "monitoring" what his 9 yr. old was surfing, naturally he got egged by our liberal friends. Just saying...its GOOD to know what your kids up to.
You gotta be kidding me. Somebody who thinks a 9 yr. old should have free access to the internet is a fool.
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hes nine! what could happen to him? im assuming he doesnt have any messengers or goes into chat rooms.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Yep agree, in another thread here in the OC, a poster was getting lambasted for "monitoring" what his 9 yr. old was surfing, naturally he got egged by our liberal friends. Just saying...its GOOD to know what your kids up to.
Which liberal friends?
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Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
If a predator manages to get to your child, it's your fault. You have failed in your reponsibility.
That's just not true. Maybe it is for very young children but once they're old enough for school they are vulnerable to predators. A parent can't watch their child every second of every day.
Certainly children should be taught how to respond to strangers but sometimes that isn't enough.
The real failure lies in our leniency in dealing with these predators. How many have commited heinous acts yet are on the streets within a few years stalking our kids again? If that's what you mean by "it's your fault" then I agree.
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Guess I should have limited the scope of that...
If a predator gets to your child via the internet, it is your fault.
Outside of that, in the real world, you can do absolutely everything correctly and still lose your child.
Did I mention that the world is a dangerous place?
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Fd ski: Parental control is a home issue.
It's up to you what you do with your kids.
But don't you try to justify that to get government to police the internet.
Sandman_SBM: If a predator manages to get to your child, it's your fault. You have failed in your reponsibility.
Karnak: Its parental responsiblity. Pure and simple.
Whatever happened to “it takes a village”? I thought the liberal mindset would endorse the fact that it takes all of us to raise your children. Besides who are you going to blame when things go wrong, yourself? Surely not!!
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Originally posted by Thrawn
MT, you conservative nutjob. I would suggest keeping track of your daughter by putting a chip in her neck. But I figured it would just break the it first time you beat her with a bat.
*looks back at the text above with quiet self-approval*
LOL!!!!!
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
If your not "intruding" in your childs life to the point that you know what they're up to, then your not doing your job. Kids that go unattended, or parents don't know who, where, what, when they're doing it, have the problems...trust me, I was one of those kids! ;) Yes, monitor their activity.
Kudos Rip! Right on. S! It is every parents job to be a parent, not a fair weather friend. Kids left to their own devices without supervision usually end up hurting themselves or others....or worse.
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a childs right to privacy from there parents is a myth made up by children. about the only people who agree that a children have a right to parts of their life are children and college students (who are mostly children with drinking privleges), some parents believe kids should have privacy, and they say very suportive things to each other as the hang out in the waiting room, to pick their kids up at juvie
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When as said "when our children get older", I ment mid and late teens.
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midnight Target
i am 14 and have unrestricted access when parents around and when there not but i never get in trouble...prolly cause i never go t ochat rooms to busy with AH (and if its the porn your worrying about...forget it if she has a boyfreind...thats what there for...if she doesnt then maybe you should take a look at the log files)
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Originally posted by Thrawn
When as said "when our children get older", I ment mid and late teens.
Thats when you need to most involved in their lives, intrusion-wise. Until they're 18 naturally. What you don't know might kill them.
Incidently, I don't mean being tyrannical about it, theres a way to be "intrusive" without them finding it objective. One example is keeping them busy with sports..
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So you're going to watch your boys shower when they're 15 Rip? What if they want to make out with a girl, are you going to intrude then? Don't you think they might start to resent you? Don't you think they might have their own business which my be none of yours? Would you read thier diary if they had one?
I think that if my wife and I raise them right, and they earn our trust, then they deserve that trust.
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You're taking it too literally Thrawn.
Know where they are.
Know who their friends are.
Know what they're doing (Going to a Movie? which one? Who's driving? Who's going with?)
Set rules the must follow (In by, say, Midnight on a Friday night)
etc.
etc.
I might add, my wife really disliked her "intrusive" father until she became an adult, then one day she went up to him and gave him a big hug, and said "Dad, thanks for being strict with me when I was a teenager"....She'd never seen him cry until that point. It was a cry of relief for him, because we believe that he thought he was too strict with her, she believes not.
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Gotcha.
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As Thrawn as pointed out, a child's right to privacy is not a black/white sort of issue.
Certainly, children deserve some form of privacy. It's a form of respect and they need to learn the value of it.
Still... they have to understand that I may stomp all over their rights if I think it's in their best interest to do so.
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Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Still... they have to understand that I may stomp all over their rights if I think it's in their best interest to do so.
Heheh! LOL! :D
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I just wanna add something... in that other thread you are referring to Rip, that guy said he placed monitoring software on his kid's computer (or something like that)... that in itself is okay... so long as the kid knows about it.
Because if the kid don't know about it, that's where you cross the line from monitoring your kid's activities to spying on your kid...
it's no different than following your kid around in an unmarked minivan when the kid ain't at home.
-SW
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Why would a parent have to tell them anything? Why not just put the software on? If the kid asks, sure, tell him, and tell him why...but to say "Billy, I'm putting this on your machine so Lesbian militant sheep won't try to contact you and kill you" would just feed the normal behavior called "curiousity" in the child, would it not? Not that there is anything wrong with curiousity, its just I personally want to limit that curiousity of certain subjects while in my house until he is an adult...you might label that "sheltered"...I label it common sense.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Why would a parent have to tell them anything?
It's respectful to do so. Respect is a two way street. Can't get it if you don't give it.
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Good point Sandman.
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Will you tap your kid's phone line?
Just in case...
-SW
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Screw this...let's fight!
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
I just wanna add something... in that other thread you are referring to Rip, that guy said he placed monitoring software on his kid's computer (or something like that)... that in itself is okay... so long as the kid knows about it.
Because if the kid don't know about it, that's where you cross the line from monitoring your kid's activities to spying on your kid...
it's no different than following your kid around in an unmarked minivan when the kid ain't at home.
-SW
I have the right to spy on my kids... They have no rights! They live rent free and get to eat free too. For that priviledge I am allowed... no I am required, to butt into anything I feel needs knowing....... PERIOD.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
I have the right to spy on my kids... They have no rights! .
Sure they do.
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Kinda how I WISH my parents had been Midnight...
Wulfe, what Midnight said..however I would draw the line at tapping a phone ...
I bet the Columbine parents wish they'd been alittle more intrusive with the two boys that shot up that school! :eek:
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Certainly... intrude all you want. I agree with swulfe that the difference between telling them or not telling them that they are being monitored is significant.
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Will you tap your kid's phone line?
Just in case...
-SW
if I had too, if reasonable cause existed, wish my parents had done me btwn 16 & 18, may have avoided a few mistakes ...
luckily youngest is 17 in a month, 23 year old out on his own, doing well. haven't had a reason to ... yet
age has nothing to do with it
If the 23 year old lived at home and say he was dealing out of my house - who do you think the police would turn to as soon as they carted him away? Do you think given that scenerio I wouldn't have just cause to tap phone, bug room, read email, u name it it ..?
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Eagler, you said "if I had too"
and I said...
"Just in case..."
If you had too, you'd know something was up and at that point it's on you to find out.
But doing it before anything happens... I dunno... many kids will be out the door at 16/17/18 and never look back.
-SW
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Eagler, you said "if I had too"
and I said...
"Just in case..."
If you had too, you'd know something was up and at that point it's on you to find out.
But doing it before anything happens... I dunno... many kids will be out the door at 16/17/18 and never look back.
-SW
Funny, I was "out the door" at 17 because LACK of intrusion!
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I had a friend who's dad was overly intrusive... keeping tabs on damn near everything and searching his room...
lets just say that "failure" only scratches the surface of explaining where he's at right now.
-SW
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Originally posted by Thrawn
Sure they do.
OK, they have the right to continue breathing and eating and living in a warm house. They may earn extra privilege by proving to ME that they can handle it. But rights? Comon!
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I suppose MT. I was thinking more along the lines of, they have the right to do MY BIDDING!! MUAHAHHAHAH!
:D
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Originally posted by Thrawn
I suppose MT. I was thinking more along the lines of, they have the right to do MY BIDDING!! MUAHAHHAHAH!
:D
I stand corrected...
:)
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Well, I think kids these days are to pampered too.
When I was a kid, our dad let us drink a little bit of beer from a very young age with meals.
When it came to my adolescent years, my friends all 'discovered' booze. While I was going "ahhh so what? its just beer", they were getting mindlessly drunk and all the other crap that goes with it. I watched my friends vomit face down in the gutter while I enjoyed myself.
Show em a little porn, tell em the dangers. So when some perv tries to chat them up they can say 'diddly off creamo'.
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Holly crap this was funny!!!!!!!
So when some perv tries to chat them up they can say 'diddly off creamo'.
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I'd tell the kids if I put monitoring software on the pc. hell I've been telling them it's there for years and I'm too cheap to buy it.