Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Soviet on September 30, 2001, 08:46:00 PM
-
What's all of your funniest kills? Post your stories here.
My funniest kill happend today. I'm now flying the P-47D-30 exclusivly and i was landing at an Enemy airbase since a goon was on the way and i was bingo fuel and a niki spawns on the opposite end of the runway so i'm going 75 MPH on the ground and i strafe the Niki and then turn around and chase it on the ground like a car or something and get the kill :D i should have taped it :D
-
Some time ago I was flying back home in a Fw190A5 without both wingtips. When I was already very low after diving to my base I spotted a Spitfire in front of me. After the cross, the spitfire came for me. Using rudder I somehow managed to get out from his stream of bullets and he overshot me. He went straight instead of zooming away or turning for me. So I tried to line for a shot and got a couple of 7.92mm pings before he dropped a wing and fell out of control. I got the kill (didnt understand it at first, of course...).
After some questions in Channel one I found out that the spitfire had the left halfwing missing long before crossing with me. He was trying to return to base, but he admitted that when he saw a low 190 without both wingtips, he had to go for me :D Was very funny :D
[ 09-30-2001: Message edited by: R4M ]
-
I was defending a VH near a port. I was in a Panzer, and I saw a B-26 coming in low and fast, straight at me... his target obviously my VH.
I figured "what the Hell" and went down into the main turret gunsight.
First shot, he blows up instantly. He was still about 2.2k away.
lmao for hours after that.
:D
-
Several months back a small field was getting worked over by Zemke's wolfpack in jugs. FH's were down, so I rolled a TBM with rockets. There were 2 jugs overhead, one had smoke, looked like he headed to RTB. Other Jug start's takeing passes at me. Ducked a couple then he was getting low enough he started trying HO shots. 4 times we passed Head on, each time I'd drop a rocket & a stream of bb's at him, then duck his fire.
Fourth one was the charm, think a rocket hit his engine, I look back and he's trying to ditch. I got the kill but was laughing so hard I almost screwed up my landing.
Still don't believe I survived that sortie, much less got the kill. :)
-
Im in my 205 at about 15k, some hot shot zero comes up and wants to tangle. Ok we dould a couple of HOs and revere's i keep getting alt on him, he keeps losing it. I figure if anything goes wrong i can always get out. 205 is strong diver, zero sucks at it. After another HO i ping him with 20mm. He then tries to DIVE AWAY! He levels out with me on his tail and i blast him, he starts saying i cheated. What a turd. It was funny because well he was stupid.
-
here's a story, i just got shot down by a Dora and i was parachuting to the ground. suddenly some tempest comes cruising along and he's setting up to strafe me i'm like "dammit" then he must have compressed or something and rammed straight into the ground (i was at about 1,000 feet) Victory 2 by Soviet lol i was laughing soo hard, here a 70 perk plane get's killed by a chute :D
-
Propably one of FDBs... :D
-
Flying a B-17 at about 20k I watched from the ball turret as an La-5 crept up on me from my low six. At about 800 yds, as he was flying straight and level I fired off a burst, taking of the end of his left wing. He wobbled, moved out of range to my left, regained control, and PULLED BACK IN BEHIND ME FOR ANOTHER ATTACK. A second carefully aimed burst took off his right wingtip. Now it was easier for him to fly, so he just kept coming, looking like some sort of cruise missile.
Do you remember the knight in Monty Python's "Search for the Holy Grail" who loses one arm, then another, then one leg, then the other, but never gives up fighting? I'm thinking I must be fighting him. So I give him another burst and he catches fire. He bailed.
MRPLUTO, Captain, VMF-323, ~Death Rattlers~
P.S. Anyone interested in most exciting base captures?
One evening I had three wild missions in a row that all succeeded (two in C-47s, one in an M-3).
It was the Baltic Terrain, and we Knights, under Ripsnort's leadership, were taking back our bases in the south.
I first flew a C-47 into A60. The fuel tanks were all in flames; the entire field was thick with black smoke. I circled around to approach the map room for a pinpoint landing from the northwest because there were GVs at the south end of the field. As I come in on final over the north end of the runway, I can see a P-51 and N1K spawning just 50 feet below me. I touched down and came to a stop just yards from the map room as planes took-off and exploded on the runway behind me.
We next captured A61 under similar conditions of blazing fuel tanks and smashed hangers. I came racing up in an M-3. There were a few enemy fighters overhead, but we had many more so they weren't a problem. As I raced past the perimiter of the base at 45 mph I glanced at a destroyed hanger 50 yards to my right. Suddenly I realized that hidden in the wreckage was an enemy M-16!
I just kept going, but he had seen me too, and tracers flew wildly over my head! Our pilots must have been right on him, because he stopped firing after just seconds.
Back in a C-47 at A62 it was another landing through smoke and flames with tracer fire coming from the far side of the field. Another pinpoint landing at the map room and we had captured our third field in less than 45 minutes.
These three missions were the most exciting and successful I ever flew in an on-line sim, and I never fired a shot!
-
Funniest thing I ever did was a few months ago when I was Rook,I drove an M3 otw a base that had been under under attack for several hours.Countless goons had been shot down as they tried to get near.Anyway,I think it was the baltic map and I rolled an M3 towards this base more for fun than any realistic chance of making it there.The terrain was very hilly and one hill took me a half an hour to scale and I had to do it in reverse cause first gear was too tall.. :)Well,no-one noticed me(except for FlyingDutchman(or was it GD?) who kept checking in on me,laughing at my determination)After an hour and a half,I finally got within vis of the base and watched nme plane after plane pass over looking for that next goon victim.After scaling that last hill in reverse,I turned her around and raced otw the map room.The cap was there,the tension had come to a peak as nme cons(and chutes!) were eliminated by any means possible!I made it to the green room and released the hounds!..Just then an nme P51 swoooped down as the drunks scrambled towards the bar in the map room.He missed,the map room was destroyed and the ack came up and shot the poor bastage in a short instant.It was so funny!..The poor lad in the Stang came on Channel one"How the hell an M3 at that base!!!"I think everone in our country had a good open channel laugh on that occasion.. :D
-
Just after the release of the Mindanao map, I found myself isolated above an enemy field and shot down by 3-4 enemy fighters. While floating under my chute, I saw I would land close to a shore battery. As I was having a major slump that evening, I decided to hike a bit instead of immediately re-upping and headed on foot towards the big artillery bunker. I spent a couple of minutes walking in and out (through the walls), looking at the details of the structure (nicely done btw). Of course, I got quickly bored and I was about to hit the tower button when I saw an nme fighter lining himself on me for a straffing pass. I decided to play with him and ran back inside the building. I could pass through the walls, but the bullets couldn't so I spent the next minutes offering myself as a bait in front of the structure, then running for cover as soon as the bullets began to fly (I know, I should better get a real life instead). I don't know what I was expecting, I was juts having a break from the take-off / die routine. Eventually, the fighter pilot gave up and left to make some other's life miserable...
Then I see a pair of enemy fighters (P51 and F4U I think) mock dogfighting above the airfield. They obviously hadn't seen me, and at that time a downed pilot didn't show anymore on the dar counter...I believe you understand where I'm going ;) Yes they did! When the F4U got on his buddy's 6, he let a long burst loose and lost a wing from killshooter...I just couldn't believe this was happening...when he crashed around d1.5, I LMAO reading Victory 1 by deSelys.
I immediately sent a privat msg to explain him how it happened, but he already had logged.... :D
I wish I had it on film :(
[ 10-01-2001: Message edited by: deSelys ]
-
Originally posted by Ghosth:
Several months back a small field was getting worked over by Zemke's wolfpack in jugs. FH's were down, so I rolled a TBM with rockets. There were 2 jugs overhead, one had smoke, looked like he headed to RTB. Other Jug start's takeing passes at me. Ducked a couple then he was getting low enough he started trying HO shots. 4 times we passed Head on, each time I'd drop a rocket & a stream of bb's at him, then duck his fire.
Fourth one was the charm, think a rocket hit his engine, I look back and he's trying to ditch. I got the kill but was laughing so hard I almost screwed up my landing.
Still don't believe I survived that sortie, much less got the kill.
LOL Ghost, that has reminded me another very fun kill of mine.
I was in a Dhog, OTW to drop rockets on a field when I saw Camo low, with a Spit on his six. Calling his attention on the spit I rolled upside down and dived on the unsuspecting spitfire. I started to fire from 400 yards without even noticing that I had the rockets enabled!!!
The rockets were fired between 400 and 300 yards...I think all hit :D well, 8 rockets fired in succession on a spitfire...was a nice fireball
I laughed my ar$e off after that one (I still remember camo's private message: "WTF? ROCKETS??")
-
Had to be that old beta map with the vehicle base that let u go 200mph in a panzer (v56 i think)
Was rolling down the hill and saw a chog chasing another panzer but i was going a lot faster than they were,while overtaking the chog i swung the main gun around to the 3:00 as i was going by and blasted him with an ap, laughed my bellybutton off for an hour on that one :)
Shamus
-
I was in the volcano one night and 54 silly bastids crashed and I got the kills on all of them.
-
One time I was escorting an Assassin HQ raid in a ta152.
On egress, i was flying along regurges b-17, practicing my high-angle passes and firing cannons for fun in front of him.
needless to say, i hit him on one of the passes
best kill ever!
-
When the IL-2 first came out, I began doing some low level runs with her. On one mission, I was at about 200 feet AGL. Some hotshot Mustang pilot got an idea and made a dive for me from a good 5000 feet. I saw him, but I didn't shoot him yet. He passed low under me. At that same instant, my finger hit the joystick button, and I released a bomb. "Damnit." I told myself, jerking up to avoid the explosion. "Victory on by semperfi"
I killed him with a bomb....
-
I've had some memorable kills, but the best moment in AH was when we were capturing a base, had the ack and hangers all down and a goon on long final, when suddenly the VH comes back up! I had bombs, so I killed it, but three Flakpanzers had time to spawn (must've been chomping at the bit in the tower because I nuked the VH perhaps 30 seconds after it came up). The goon said he was going in anyway, and the Flakpanzers were between him and me, firing like hell at me since they'd seen me destroy the VH. I decided to try a little diversion.
Doing the airshow of my life I managed to keep the three FP's occupied for perhaps 2-3 minutes. I stayed right at the outer edge of their range so they wouldn't lose interest, but none of them even got close to hitting me. Then as the firing slacked off and they started looking for other targets I ran out of fuel. Ditching on a nearby hillside the last thing I saw in my 6 view was the ack coming up, killing the Flaks instantly. I laughed until my gut hurt.
-
While getting ready to HO a Chog in my Chog, I salvoed my rockets at him, switched to guns, zoomed in my sight and saw a flash on his left wing root. His wing broke off at D-1.7.
Kbman was a bit confused why his pretty Chog broke apart well out of gun range.
:)
eskimo
-
It musta been (like eskimo2's) when I had salvo set to 2 on the spit and I was just about to dive on a base and a hog decided to HO me. my 3rd button is set to fire 1st and 2nd guns. I released my rockets into his prop ...he was pissed...
-
I remember that i killed a P51 with the main guns off the cruiser.
We were battling near a field and lots of buffs took off to sunk our CV. ALL CV Acks were up and firing, but dunno how they ingnored that lonely suicide Stang closing. So i tried my luck, put the large guns as high as possible and at D1.5 i hit the trigger.
I can tell u 3x8inch hits do a were nice explosion.
-
I took off of A1 on the isles map in a C.202 and started heading east, towards a big blip on the radar. I'm climbing out and the dots appear, they are at a higher altitude than I am. There are six dots, 3 in front and bit lower and really close together and 3 above and behind them. As I get closer the icons pop up and show them to be 3 B-17Gs in formation being escorted by 2 F4Us and 1 P-51D.
Now, I'm not stupid and I haven't got any plans to attack 3 B-17s in close formation in a C.202, but I think "Let's see if we can't have some fun with the escort fighters." :D
I slide in behind and about 5,000ft below the bombers and start climbing up their low sixes like I'm an idiot, but I'm only glancing at the bombers. Most of the time I'm watching the escorts.
Sure enough, all three of them peel off and come diving down to save their B-17s from my horrible, viscious C.202. I break turn out of their firing lanes and then the melee commences.
After a few turns I saddle up on the P-51D and riddle him with fire. I lit him up like a Christmas tree, he puts it a shallow dive and an F4U is beginning to look a bit too comfortable behind me so I break turn again. I never saw the P-51D again. He just kept on running.
Twisting and turning some more its clear these guys didn't learn from the Mustang's mistake and are deadset on underestimating my C.202. I line up on the first F4U and hold the trigger down like bullets are money and I'm a sailor on my last day of shore leave. This one breaks apart and tumbles into the sea. Death by a thousand cuts. :D
That seems to do the trick of snapping the other F4U back to reality and he realizes that I am going to kill him if he doesn't change tactics. Problem he has is that he is now much lower than I am, probably stalled trying to turn with me. I dive towards him as he trys to get some steam up and run. As I close to firing range he does a break turn to avoid my fire and I pull in on his tail. He's rolling and turning as best he can, but now he realizes that his F4U can't out acclerate my C.202 at these speeds and I'm too close for him to level out. He gets more and more desparate as my bursts fly around him, then he pulls it a bit too hard and does a lovely half spin and piroet into the ocean.
I decided that I had done enough and I was running a little low on fuel, so I proceeded to A1 and landed.
And that is an example of how not to escort bombers. ;)
If they'd ignored me I would have broken off and gone elsewhere. If they'd ignored me and I'd actually been dumb enough to attack 3 B-17s from the low six in a C.202 I would have been shredded at no threat to the bombers.
Instead a single C.202 stripped a somewhat organized mission of its fighter cover because they insisted on getting a kill and underestimating the C.202. It does have guns you know. :D
EDIT: That was many Tours ago.
Today I was flying a P-51D and after making an attack on an Fw190 I began to zoom climb back up. Looking behind me I saw an La-7 at 1000 yards and closing. I can see that I'm not going to out zoom him so I start to pull her over the top and stand on the rudder intending on taking it to a turn fight if I get the chance, but I'm feeling pretty screwed. I look back as I do this and The La-7 starts firing bursts at 600 yards and is still closing.
Then it says "Kill 2 by Karnak" and a chute icon appears where the La-7 was a moment before, still gaining on me for a short time but no longer firing. :D
Oops. :D
[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Karnak ]
-
Ahhhh my favourite was Ripsnort (or could have been funked tho - was a while back and I'm getting old):
One day I was taking off and one these dweebs took off just in front of me (same country)... what the hell I thought, so I snuck up behind him and flicked a Check 6 call accompanied by a toejamload of tracer around his cockpit (but not hitting him). Well, he got such a fright he pulled back so hard his plane (i think it was a chog) snapped back - spun, and flipped into the ground. Of course you don't get manoevre kills for fellow countrymen :(
feeeeeek I never laffed so hard on AH.
It was truely cool :cool:
-
Karnak--Great story & lesson! Thanks.
DeSelys--Very funny. I hope in future versions of AH we'll be able to spawn as soldiers from intact barracks. Choice of armament could include: Panzerfaust, sniper's rifle, Schmeisser sub-machinegun, grenades, and .45 cal sidearm. Got to do something about that ability to walk through walls, though. We have enough uber-planes -- we don't need uber-people!
I had a kill of a B-17 in a C.202, that, like Karnak's kill was a "death by a thousand cuts." It was also an example of how and how not to attack a buff.
The B-17 was only at about 8k over enemy territory; not a good battle plan. I made a pass from 12 o'clock high, and saw many hits along his fuselage, but no visible damage. I turned and climbed back ahead of him.
As I moved back into an attacking position, he was attack by 3 more of us. Two of the attackers came in from his six and were shot down rather quickly, without causing much (if any) damage. A Spitfire was a little more careful, and managed to smoke one of the B-17's engines before beginning to smoke himself. The Spit dropped out of the battle.
I made another head on, followed by a 90 degree deflection shot that made his wings sparkle from wingtip to wingtip. But he kept going. One more high deflection pass and he finally lost control and crashed.
MRPLUTO, Captain, VMF-323, ~Death Rattlers~
-
LOL Vulcan that one is THE Funniest.
And before Funked can write...I'll do it for him...
The time funked saw 6 or 7 unescorted goons flying in formation all alone.... :)
We were laughing our arses off (the goon drivers) as we were on our way to the field. I can only imagine how funked felt seeing this sight.
Cobra
-
Flying up a guys six and he's afk. You ram him from behind and die... he gets the kill and YOU get to deal w/the utter humulation :(
xBAT
-
Great stories...
Was at A20 (or 21?) and we were getting shoved out fast. Acks down, just one shore battery up. Jumped in and I see a B-17 circling above base to knock out our VH when it ups. He must have seen me fire the shore battery once and apparently was turning to take me out. At 3.7k away, he's coming straight at me and I'm really getting anxious for the damn shore gun to hurry up and reload! Ah! He's 3.1k away, how high you lead these things? Oh dammit, just try it. BLAM! I see the shell go waaay up, then start to descend, looks too high, but the buff noses up, as if to turn back to the base (VH upped). Then BOOM, I see his wings, tail, everything fall apart! Had he not nosed up slightly, I woulda over shot!
Lots of WTF!! in the chat buffer but the B17 driver enjoyed a huge laugh with me, confessing he'd managed to pop an F4 with such a lucky shot just the other day.
(Needless to say, that shore battery didnt live long!)
-
brady and I were trying to sneak a48 I was in ju88 took ack dar and vh out brady was in fighter. I landed at the vh to go get goon brady caps field. Then 2 c47s pop up a toejame load of 51s and f4s.
Brady gets like 12 kills. Someone had planned a mission and were spawning.
He killed like 4 in his first shots. Apparently some didn't realize what was up because he killed the same guys a few times.
It was hilarious. Of course capturing the base was out but still fun.
Mine personal was in an a5. I jaboed a gv at a base and killed it. The base was dead but hi cons were diving in on me 1 109 2 spits. I got into a valley before they got real close and scissored. Well the 109 compressed and augered and as 1 spit opened up a niki dove in his line of fire but augered. The spit died from killshooter. The last spit overshoot as I rolled to get on his 6. He must of been checking 6 because he flew right into a hill.
[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Wotan ]
-
I got one more :) This was the funniest.
in the ute mate me and my squaddie were cappin a friendly base that was under gv/jabo attack. I upped late so most nme were ded. I was in a g2 so I decided to grab west to catch the ib cons. They must of gave up so I went further west when I spot 6 hi cons (22k). I shadowed umm and grabbed to 25k. They spotted me and adjusted course. I had thought buffs ib hq.
Turned out it was 6 f6fs. TOD was about to begin so I figured whoever it was was practicing.
1 f6f was trailing well I got on his 6 he did some eractic move and stalled one wing and dropped 3k in alt.
I started sayin "stick stirrer blah blah blah" on channel 1 as I extended.
I ended up with a few pings on him. I then saddled up one and killed him. 2 dove on me so I went to the deck to escape.
The f6f can dive like a mofo and one was closing fast. As I appraoched the ground I broke hard left and watched 1 f6f try to follow but he pancakes the ground. The other grab and wings over and comes in again. Again I break but this f6f repeats a few times but pulls out as I break. Well I figure i'm dead meat cause theres still 3 more out there. His next pass I wait till hes d200 my hi 5 and break hard right. I see the f6f roll then wing drop. I go into black out and when I come out I see the kill msg
"You have shot down Ripsnort"
I type "lol" on channel 1 just then here comes another f6f way fast I break left he tries to follow pancakes as well.
So thats 4 of the 6 I'm rtb. I the get an assist kill msg on the first f6f I pinged.
Turns out another 109 showed up as I turn fer home I see him diving to the deck draggin an f6f d150 across my 12. Well I have just enuff time to squeeze the trigger and see hits down the length of the f6f. I lose sight of the both of them but a few seconds later I get another assist msg on that f6f. It was 10bears......
I type on channel 1 "went head to head with 6 f6fs they all dead....lol"
Ripsnort replies "f6f stall model porked fix coming"
:)
-
Right after I returned from my self imposed vacation from AH I was tooling around at about 15k in a tiffie...I was bounced by a couple of planes....a pony and a spit.
The pony drove to my six to force a break and the spit hi yoyo'd to set up for my reverse. I broke into pony and then tried to pull up into the spits shot....of course I had no touch and promptly snapped the tiffie into a wicked spin....
The spitty ran into me and ripped a wing off and the stang compressed trying to hit me on the way down. Never fired a shot on either put got a kill on collision and another manv kill on pony...couse soon as recovered from spin a nikki bounced me and I spun her out again and augered :( :mad: