Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: johnathanh18 on December 11, 2002, 10:08:35 PM

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: johnathanh18 on December 11, 2002, 10:08:35 PM

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more

ComradII

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: paulieb on December 11, 2002, 10:14:43 PM

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Doberman pinscher.

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: SirLoin on December 11, 2002, 10:16:59 PM

Q:What's the difference between a rat and a lawyer?

A:There are some things a rat just won't do.

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: Russian on December 11, 2002, 10:54:04 PM

LOL:D

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: capt. apathy on December 12, 2002, 12:33:51 AM

so this guy and his lawyer are walking down the street and a beautiful girl walks past going the other way.  long legs, high heels, perfect body,short skirt, just a touch of cheek showing below the skirt.
  the man turns and watches her walk away as he shakes his head he says "Man, I'd sure like to 'F' her."
  the lawyer gives him a blank stare and asks "outta what?"

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: Hortlund on December 12, 2002, 02:45:31 AM

You guys are just jealous :cool:

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: bounder on December 12, 2002, 03:17:52 AM

consultants are much worse than lawyers:

Q:
What's the difference between Vultures and Consultants?





A:
Vultures don't get air miles.

Title: lawyer Jokes
Post by: capt. apathy on December 12, 2002, 07:32:44 AM

consulting (http://www.despair.com/consulting.html)