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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: capt. apathy on December 19, 2002, 11:21:06 PM

Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: capt. apathy on December 19, 2002, 11:21:06 PM
armed with this list she may even succeed in getting me to go some time.


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares" ... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, " NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly...."Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: Hawklore on December 19, 2002, 11:23:22 PM
...Might do some of those when mom drags me to wal-mart :D

Thanks...
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: cobra427 on December 19, 2002, 11:31:49 PM
ive done 2 11 13 and 15   nutt'n to do in wallmart for a 16 year old :)
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: capt. apathy on December 19, 2002, 11:38:47 PM
You need a better imagination.

 In the teen age years I hung out near swimwear, with home made business cards, offering my services as a bikini/lingerie consultant.

met quit a few girls there who tried some on for me while they where killing time too.  not to mention a few older (but still fine) ones who kinda got off on giving the kid a show.
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: SOB on December 20, 2002, 01:33:11 AM
A friend drug my stupid bellybutton to Walmart tonight.  After calling him several unkind names, I was pleasantly suprised to find the Back to the Future trilogy DVD for $37 and The Man Who Knew Too Little DVD for $5.  I still felt dirty tho'.


SOB
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: cobra427 on December 20, 2002, 01:36:13 AM
thats dull ... unless i get to see them change :)
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: Saurdaukar on December 20, 2002, 10:01:42 AM
LOL!!  Thats some funny toejam.  :D
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: Eagler on December 20, 2002, 10:11:07 AM
Quote
Originally posted by capt. apathy
You need a better imagination.

 In the teen age years I hung out near swimwear, with home made business cards, offering my services as a bikini/lingerie consultant.

met quit a few girls there who tried some on for me while they where killing time too.  not to mention a few older (but still fine) ones who kinda got off on giving the kid a show.


that could be scary in a Wal-Mart/K-mart setting :)
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: LePaul on December 20, 2002, 10:20:46 AM
Ok, tested some of these

You need some sorta code to use the intercom/pager....LOL....dratt!
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: capt. apathy on December 20, 2002, 10:28:50 AM
Eagler,
 very true.  luckly you hand prospective 'customers' your card, you don't wear a sign to let them choose you.

one time I did have a rather large woman over hear, and try to take me up on the offer.  thinking very fast I explained that my fee was on a per pound basis.  the floor kinda shook as she stomped away
Title: 15 Things to kill time after your wife drags you to Wal-Mart
Post by: vorticon on December 20, 2002, 10:41:03 AM
pretend to be a "greeter" and whenever you have to greet omeone say

"thank you for choosing willy mart"

tried a couple yesterday...got kicked out tho