Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 05:20:19 PM

Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 05:20:19 PM: 1. Withdraw all troops from Europe.
2. Give Japan 5 years to defend themselves. In conjunction with 5 year phased withdrawal of troops from Asia. Tell North Korea and China that if they even look at Japan funny we will nuke them.
3. Nuke Iraq. Annex and rename it "New Texas". Drilling begins as soon as the glass congeals. Let it be an example to the rest of the bastards.
4. Enjoy
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Cobra on January 02, 2003, 05:25:37 PM: I would like to apply for a job in your Cabinet, Mr. President.

Preferably something that involves alot of kickbacks, and receiving bribes for do-nothing work.

Also, I would like to have my choice of weekends at Camp David.

Cobra
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Kanth on January 02, 2003, 05:26:30 PM: Can we accidentally nuke the areas immediately around Iraq too?

France for example?

:D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 05:26:58 PM: Camp David is being phased out.
Camp Sigfried und Roy is being constructed on the Las Vegas strip.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 05:27:32 PM: Kanth, France surrendered after reading my post.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: mrfish on January 02, 2003, 08:44:56 PM: can i be the minister of good feelings?
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Octavius on January 02, 2003, 09:00:55 PM: can i be the first lady?!
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: K98k on January 02, 2003, 09:01:12 PM: Quote
Nuke Iraq. Annex and rename it "New Texas". Drilling begins as soon as the glass congeals. Let it be an example to the rest of the bastards.

But Mr. President why drill when we can just turn all that glass into one big solar panel? We can still sell the power and this would appease those pesky tree huggers for a time until we can round'em up and send them to europe

btw you have my vote ;)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: GRUNHERZ on January 02, 2003, 09:06:22 PM: How does weazel fit into this?
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Gman on January 02, 2003, 09:10:39 PM: Weazel can be the annoying Democrat guy on CNN like Carville who criticizes Funked.

If you get elected Funked, I'll immediately move south.

Let the nuking begin!
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: AKS\/\/ulfe on January 02, 2003, 09:21:13 PM: Put me in charge of the Air Force... or I'll send my kittens (http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/) after you!!!
-SW
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: SFRT - Frenchy on January 02, 2003, 09:25:24 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Kanth
Can we accidentally nuke the areas immediately around Iraq too?

France for example?

:D

ROFL! ... someone failed Geography101:eek:
Typical American behavior, they want to rule the world but don't know what's outside their borders.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Kanth on January 02, 2003, 09:43:46 PM: I'm sorry Frenchy, you're right, I meant California :)

Quote
Originally posted by SFRT - Frenchy
ROFL! ... someone failed Geography101:eek:
Typical American behavior, they want to rule the world but don't know what's outside their borders.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 09:43:58 PM: Weazel has accepted a position as minister of propaganda. :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: ramzey on January 02, 2003, 09:47:29 PM: Funky when did u go to dallas?
:D :D :D :D :D :cool:
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: SOB on January 02, 2003, 09:55:38 PM: Can I head up the DDD? (newly formed Department of Drugs & Debauchery)

SOB
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Toad on January 02, 2003, 10:01:42 PM: I'll vote for you if I get to control Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. :D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 02, 2003, 10:16:21 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Toad
I'll vote for you if I get to control Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. :D

Ummm I ran on an Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms platform. :)
I'm keeping those for myself. You can be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs though. :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Toad on January 02, 2003, 10:18:05 PM: Bah!

I'm voting for Gary Hart then!
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Raubvogel on January 02, 2003, 11:03:41 PM: Funked, can I be the Chairman of the Chiefs of Joints?

I also volunteer to head up any joint committees. They sound like fun.
Title: Re: President Funkedup
Post by: Creamo on January 02, 2003, 11:05:21 PM: Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
1. Withdraw all troops from Europe.
2. Give Japan 5 years to defend themselves. In conjunction with 5 year phased withdrawal of troops from Asia. Tell North Korea and China that if they even look at Japan funny we will nuke them.
3. Nuke Iraq. Annex and rename it "New Texas". Drilling begins as soon as the glass congeals. Let it be an example to the rest of the bastards.
4. Enjoy

Got my vote.

I don't want a position, just let me push the button. Or you could sell raffle tickets.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Pongo on January 02, 2003, 11:50:00 PM: Whats your position on your fearsome neigbors to the north mister President?
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: AKIron on January 02, 2003, 11:54:52 PM: LOL :D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 03, 2003, 12:01:02 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Pongo
Whats your position on your fearsome neigbors to the north mister President?

You mean Newest Mexico, the 51st state?
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: senna on January 03, 2003, 12:20:23 AM: 1. Withdraw all troops from Europe.

Give them 20-30 years, and Europe will either have their own wars again or they will unite and come after the US or US after them or something like that.

2. Give Japan 5 years to defend themselves. In conjunction with 5 year phased withdrawal of troops from Asia. Tell North Korea and China that if they even look at Japan funny we will nuke them.

North Korea and China dont want Japan anymore. That was simply fuedal curiosity and emperor/warlord ego trips. Japan can rearm itself faster than any other nation on Earth. Its just my opinion on their industrial strength. In Five years, N Korea & China should be worried about Japan unless they have a first strike offensive policy.

3. Nuke Iraq. Annex and rename it "New Texas". Drilling begins as soon as the glass congeals. Let it be an example to the rest of the bastards.

Thats mean, President Funked is EVIL. The conventional military forces will be upset that they didnt get to have any fun. BTW, this would drop oil prices down to the basement.

4. Enjoy

Of course...

Transmission end... fuzzz...
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Animal on January 03, 2003, 12:45:45 AM: Can I be the minister of trusted information? (I.E: propaganda)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: SirLoin on January 03, 2003, 01:11:10 AM: New Texas.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: frl on January 03, 2003, 02:12:21 AM: Animal, you can be his first lady or agriculture.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Animal on January 03, 2003, 02:32:40 AM: Or the commander of the fence climbing corp (FCC)
It is a very secretive organization, only funked knows what I talk about
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: frl on January 03, 2003, 02:43:56 AM: Winks at Animal. Um, k cas I want to be moved to the cabinet of interior planning.

:D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 03, 2003, 03:02:12 AM: Nice one Sirloin. :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 03, 2003, 03:03:25 AM: Yes Animal will be the Fence Climbing Minister. Typical government efficiency.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: lazs2 on January 03, 2003, 08:43:36 AM: I'm sure that funky will allow me to be.... Public Relations Officer and... Ambassador of good will to all the little pissant countries. (if you aren't the U.S., you are a pissant country).

You are gonna end womens sufferage tho right?
lazs
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Wlfgng on January 03, 2003, 08:52:36 AM: I wonder how the surfing is in the Gulf...?

I'll be in charge of entertainment :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: nuchpatrick on January 03, 2003, 09:00:25 AM: I'll vote for Funk.. as long as I can be incharge of transportation!! Can we say Autobuan for the states! New Term for Express Way! And slow people must drive in the right lane...or they will be ticketed!
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Ron Jeremy on January 03, 2003, 09:35:15 AM: I think I'd make a good Secretary of Health and Human Services....

I'd know how to handle all those suffragettes!
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Eagler on January 03, 2003, 12:34:08 PM: Quote
Originally posted by GRUNHERZ
How does weazel fit into this?

he can wear his blue dress and be the intern :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: mrfish on January 03, 2003, 12:46:52 PM: Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
I'm sure that funky will allow me to be.... Public Relations Officer and... Ambassador of good will to all the little pissant countries. (if you aren't the U.S., you are a pissant country).

You are gonna end womens sufferage tho right?
lazs

such anger dude, as future minister of good feelings i order you to like .....mellow out and stuff. you want to pet my imaginary cat- there.....all better.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Mathman on January 03, 2003, 01:01:58 PM: I would like to be the State Librarian. Then I can spend more time finding pictures of the great Kurt Tank and wierd people who like their cars a little too much.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Krusher on January 03, 2003, 01:17:20 PM: I will campaign for you if I can be the new ambassador to Tahiti :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: lazs2 on January 03, 2003, 02:21:43 PM: math.... you can never like your car too much.... so long as you are fully dressed.
lazs
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: K98k on January 03, 2003, 03:10:40 PM: I vote mrfish is first against the wall when you come to power President funkedup. Just too many good feelings either that put him as minister of agriculture because I think he's growing some good stuff.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Airhead on January 03, 2003, 03:42:32 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Octavius
can i be the first lady?!

Uh...Oct, if you are a lady...and you hook up with Funked...then yes, you will be his first lady.:D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Curval on January 03, 2003, 03:51:03 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Cobra
Preferably something that involves alot of kickbacks, and receiving bribes for do-nothing work.

umm...errrr...nah...I won't say it. We are playing nice now.;)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Cobra on January 03, 2003, 03:56:04 PM: LOL Curval!

It can be the occupation your thinking of, or the head of Enron!

But the public dole can be more lucrative!

Cobra
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: frl on January 03, 2003, 04:01:41 PM: Um, k can we make it a bipartisan house. Also please create a parade comittee as I would like to be aboard such comittee. Thanks so much, tootaloo.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: wulfie on January 03, 2003, 04:15:26 PM: FunkedUp,

I hereby humbly submit my application for appointment as Director of the B.R.A.

Bureau of Reckless Abandon

I don't know exactly what we'll do yet, but my resume will assuredly be highly classified, thereby giving you the highest levels of plausible deniability with regards to anything my Bureau allegedly does.

(For those not 'in the know', which would be most: In the mid '90s, a Madman Partying Surfer Dude who worked in the Radiology Department at Stanford Medical Center as a Radiology Technician made maybe the coolest tshirt ever: "B.R.A." on the front with a federal-looking seal - crossed surfboards each flanked by a fishing pole with a wreath of beers and fish underneath...on the back - "Bureau of Reckless Abandon", or 'bra' for short...surfer for 'brother', or 'Beer Rules All', or things fun to remove from women, etc., etc., etc. - think of the creator as Jeff Spicoli with 120 more IQ points and deciding to go into medicine for a career)

Presidente for Life FunkedUp, I also propose to found a State owned and run defense aerodynamics company:

Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems

(http://darla.neoucom.edu/Cruce/PIG/Images/yoyopatch03.gif)

Your Loyal, Evil, Secretive, Vast Right Wing Conspiracy supporting Servant,

Wulfie

p.s. I highly recommend lazs2 as Chief Engineer of Yoyodyne's Department of Offensive Automotive Technology, Big Loud American Ultra-Poor Gas Mileage Division.

p.s.s. lazs2 should also be on the development team at Yoyodyne's Heuristic Engine Manufacturing Institute. :)
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: SOB on January 03, 2003, 04:19:41 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Airhead
Uh...Oct, if you are a lady...and you hook up with Funked...then yes, you will be his first lady.:D

LOL! That was beautiful :D

SOB
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Creamo on January 03, 2003, 04:28:27 PM: lol, brutal...
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Mathman on January 03, 2003, 04:29:15 PM: Quote
Originally posted by lazs2
math.... you can never like your car too much.... so long as you are fully dressed.
lazs

Ahh, but that's the rub...
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Wlfgng on January 03, 2003, 04:40:41 PM: or not...as the individual case may be
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 03, 2003, 04:56:07 PM: SOB you are hereby exiled to Newest Mexico.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Vulcan on January 03, 2003, 05:45:41 PM: stay away from grassy knolls funky...
Title: Someone has to say it!
Post by: GtoRA2 on January 03, 2003, 06:00:08 PM: I would vote for ya bro...

But you have to promise not to quit when the bastages start saying how you run things is bad!

:D :D :D
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: mrfish on January 03, 2003, 06:51:09 PM: may i suggest a new anthem? just replace jerry brown for president funkenstein....

DEAD KENNEDYS LYRICS

"California Uber Alles"

I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon I will be president

Carter power will soon go away
I will be Fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California

Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face

Close your eyes, can't happen here
Big Bro' on white horse is near
The hippies won't come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California

Now it is 1984
Knock knock at your front door
It's the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool neice

Come quitely to the camp
You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don't you worry, it's only a shower
For your clothes here's a pretty flower

Die on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will crack, you little clown
When you mess with President Brown

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 03, 2003, 07:02:10 PM: I'm your governor Pete Wilson, ya know
The baddest governor to ever grab the mic and go
BOOOM !
Gimme a budget and watch me hack it !
Gimme a beat and I'll show you how to jack it !
I give the rich a giant tax loophole
I leave the poor living in a poophole
At time when Aids is in a crisis
I cut health care and I raise prices
Sales tax, snack tax, excise tax
Information attack with a newspaper tax
Hit the pocket books of working families
Increase tuition at the universities
Some day I'll command all o' you
Even your kids are gonna pray to me in school
Soon I'm gonna be the president
You might remember the last one this state sent
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
I'm so proud to know the Great Communicator
Wanna be known as the Great Incarcerator
I'll blow environmentalists away
And I'll be the fuhrer some day
I'll keep cuttin' Public Education
even though we rank 45th in the nation
I've got a plan for all the minorities
Send'em to the California Youth Authorities
From San Francisco Urban Elementary
to Pelican Bay State Penitentiary
There they can work for the master race
and always wear a happy face
Close your eyes, it can't happen here
Big Brother in a squad car's comin' near
Come enjoy the surf and the sun
and keep California number one !
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
Now it's 1992
Knock knock at your front door, yo guess who ?!
It's the suede denim secret police
They've come to your house for your longhaired niece
Gonna send her off to a camp
'cause she's been accused of growing hemp
Don't worry it's only a shower
And now for your clothes here's a pretty flower
Gonna die on malathion gas
The serpent's egg has always been hatched
People starvin' and livin' in the streets
because they tried to mess with me President Pete
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
California Uber Alles. California Uber Alles.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: Cherlie on January 04, 2003, 12:35:31 PM: Funked,

Can I be the head of religon?

First agenda, all women must walk naked, ugly ones must be shot!

Oh and I want to be the head of census!!!!!!!!

Porn 24/7 no editing allowed.

CB
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: icemaw on January 05, 2003, 12:36:13 AM: Quote
Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Put me in charge of the Air Force... or I'll send my kittens (http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/) after you!!!
-SW

Damn that is some funny chit.

I tried to recreate the film at home but my kittens helmits wont stay on. How did you keep them from falling off?
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: icemaw on January 05, 2003, 12:41:46 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Octavius
can i be the first lady?!

You must not have ever seen a picture of funked.
Title: President Funkedup
Post by: funkedup on January 05, 2003, 10:18:36 AM: Ice I am dead sexy!