Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Blue Mako on February 04, 2003, 07:51:37 PM
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Okay, it's not as good as hangs hairball story but it was dang funny at the time:
Yesterday morning I woke early and thought "why not a bit of AH before work". So, carefully so as to avoid waking the wife, I got out of bed and made my way to the computer and fired it up. AH, pizza map, okay, let's go... A couple of sorties (both ending in flames) to warm up and I up in my pony. Feeling pretty good, I have 6 pelts and I'm on my way back to link up with a squaddy when I see an enemy 262 below me. "Okay, now we're in business" I think to myself as I dive in... Too slow and too far away though, can't get closer than 1.2k before he pulls away. "Oh well, keep heading for my squaddy" I think as I pull up again.
A couple of minutes later, as I am about to join blckshp (squaddie), I notice the 262 at my low 2 o'clock, diving towards a friendly. I notice that the 262 is pretty low and slow (shame on him) so I grin and dive in to intercept. It's all looking perfect, closing on the 262, 600 yds and gaining, 500 yds and still gaining. "Okay, gotcha!" I think to myself as my finger curls on the trigger...
At that precise moment, one of our cats decides that I have waited long enough before heading downstairs to feed him and I must be in need of a reminder. He decides to jump up on the computer desk and stick his face in mine, neatly obscuring all view I have of the 262 now at a steady 400yds in front of my pony. Alerted by the tracers zipping past his cockpit, the 262 starts to evade as my feline impeded gunsight tries to track him.
I managed to get a couple of pings on the wings of the 262 as I tried adjust the throttle, move the joystick and karate chop the cat all in one movement. Finally managing to grab the cat and move it aside as it tries to type out a message demanding breakfast on the keyboard, I watch in frustration as the 262 accelerates away from range of my guns. My shoulders slumped, I turn to the cat to explain exactly why he is about to be put down, preferably without the assistance of the local vet.
At this moment, I start hearing hits on my plane and tracers stream past. Frantically pushing everything forward I check six to see an enemy spit at 500 yds, firing. With oil streaming from my engine and pieces of my planes wings starting to fall behind the rest of the machine, I barrell roll and try to evade.
The cat, having sensed my desperation and distraction from the immediate call of food, decides that I need some assistance in determining what my next move should be. Ever helpful, it decides that I should be downstairs and proceeds to jump, again, in front of the monitor and inspect my face closely to see why I am so concerned. This proves to be a source of great discomfort for me, as at that moment my virtual plane is very close to the ground with the pilot in blackout, inverted, leaking engine oil and with several rather important pieces being removed by the spitfire that is still quite calmly following me. With a cry I let go of the throttle and joystick, grab the cat with both hands and give him a quick aerobatics lesson that ends with him about 8 feet away and very put out, then grab the controls again and save my plane from smacking into the deck. Fortunately for me (and the cat) a countrymate chose just that moment to kill the spit still on my six and I land at a nearby base with a very weary sigh.
Turning to the cat, trying to decide which method of execution would be most appropriate, I begin to see the funny side of it. After all, I didn't die, landed with 6 kills and pinged up a 262, it's not all bad. The cat started purring, got fed and I had a laugh about the incident on chan 1, telling the 262 pilot that he should be thanking my cat (he didn't though, how ungrateful can you be?). Feeling full of the milk of human kindness, I log off AH and head downstairs to get my own breakfast. I notice on the way past the laundry that the cat has vomited his breakfast all over the floor, just to spite me. Little bastard.
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Get what you deserve! J/K, hate that crap. Cats are little....................... ....(cat jumps on computer desk). (sheesh)
Doyle Known as Jdoyle
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Nice story. What I and must everybody else who reads this wants to know is... did he land on his feet? :D
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Ya had me laughing almost as hard as Hang's story did.......well done!
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If u would fly a real man (german) plane with cannon instead of fury u would have killed the 262 :) :D
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Hehe I know that situation.
Here is our devil...
(http://www.savanne.org/kuvat/leila-leikkii.jpg)
(http://www.savanne.org/kuvat/leila-ikkunalla.jpg) :D
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THAT,, is like one of the funniest stories I've ever heard! Should go in the "AH Readers Digest". I've bin there, done, that! The little SOB's just WON'T take NO for an answering when it's time for eating...
Feed me! Feed me! FEED ME NOW BLUE MAKO!
I'll eat Tuna, Blue-Mako, whatever! JUST FEED ME!!!
(http://www.vtxpress.com/rv6/gray-cat.jpg)
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I moved my game playing to where this girl isn't
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ROFLMBO! That was simply hilarious!
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OK Skuzzy, get up off the floor and strap yer b*lls back on...
there's work to be done
DmdMax
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....can't.....take....it ......
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW SWEET!!! look at the little furry!!!
Originally posted by rv6
(http://www.vtxpress.com/rv6/gray-cat.jpg)
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lol
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""Get what you deserve! J/K, hate that crap. Cats are little....................... ....(cat jumps on computer desk). (sheesh)""
I just close the door to the computer room, plus have a continous dry feeder.
PS have 10 of the furry critters weighting in at 12 to 30 pounds (Maine Coon cats)
To all who posted cat pictures very nice
Darkhawk:) :)
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ROFL!! The librarian thought I was a nut when I burst out laughing.. good stuff :) I suggest a microwave for the execution...
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Hmmm microwave, I'll keep that in mind.
Here's a photo of the offender when he was a wee bit younger. He is slightly taller and much more fatter now.
Oh and he's a very clumsy Burmese, I've never seen him land on his feet properly, especially not after a human assisted leap across the room...
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Great story :)
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still laughing my fat bellybutton off good story
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Is there supposed to be a cat in this picture? all I see is a rug..he must be a master of disguise!
Originally posted by krazyhorse
still laughing my fat bellybutton off good story
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well rug works also this cats name is the Horse, he ways in at 23 lbs /paw too top off head about 21 inches tall / and about 31 32 inches long , pics can be deceiving btw the vet is funny when we tell them we need to bring the Horse in for its shots
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It's good to see that there are cats fatter than mine
one time the plumber came to fix the kitchen sink, my sweet boy hid under the sink from the man coming in the house (i hear scrabbling and a cupboard door slam)...so he opens the cabinet and out comes my boy who flies back into the bedroom...mortified to have been discovered in his super secret hiding place.
later I go and look for him..I see a perfectly made bed with one really large 20lb lump in the center under the covers. (really heavy covers too)
he wouldn't come out till I told him it was okay. :D
Originally posted by krazyhorse
well rug works also this cats name is the Horse, he ways in at 23 lbs /paw too top off head about 21 inches tall / and about 31 32 inches long , pics can be deceiving btw the vet is funny when we tell them we need to bring the Horse in for its shots
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Good story :D
Got 3 of them and somehow they elected me as the bowlfillerupper..
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A real furball
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Tigger & Tia - Tigger = Tiger, Tia = Female lol
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If you really want to execute a cat... pour anti-freeze into his water bowl... He'll slurp it up, and you'll have to feed the cat no longer... :D Or a fun torture is to feed it Peanut Butter, Will chew on it for hours and if you force a nice big glop into its mouth it may even choke on it :D
These are just some things I've heard, never really have tried them ;)
-BlckMgk
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Feed me! Feed me! I'll eat Tuna, trout, Blue-Mako Shark, WHATEVER! Just FEED ME!
No More Sky Rides until you FEED ME!
(not anti-freeze neither, gives me indigestion)
(http://www.vtxpress.com/rv6/Kitten-P47.jpg)
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rv, that's gonna be a good lookin cat. Wish I could have one but cannot at this time. Last one I had was a Russian Blue named Czar Nick. He is still around the neighborhood populating - I get a glimpse of him and his, now and then. :(
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Viking Kitties?!
http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/
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good one BM!!
he's a shot of Goofball
Title:
NEVER TRY TO OUT-STUBBORN A CAT!!
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IF you guys didnt see this a while ago
go to
http://www.rathergood.com and check out the viking kittens movie!
Rooks Theme Song
:D
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Check this out. ;)
Beer and Cats (http://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=78247&referrerid=1247)
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My cats.
1. the younger his name is Filou Fidibusta von Suratami (short: Maenchen)
(http://mitglied.lycos.de/fffreeze220/maenchen_800x600.jpg)
2. The older, his name is Louie (short: dicker)
(http://mitglied.lycos.de/fffreeze220/loui_800x600.jpg)
3. My best gay friends together :)
(http://mitglied.lycos.de/fffreeze220/both_800x600.jpg)
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Got this email today, I don't know who this happened to. But I had to
share.
"My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has
cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the
groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when
all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off
(because it gets matted or snarled).
When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her. (see PHOTOS) She cried for a week...but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had."
Gas in car to go to groomers $4.50
Cat car carrier $32.99
Grooming fee $80.00
Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat Priceless!
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They are all just making me so....
HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!
cat ka bobs
cat-tat tooie
BBQ cat ribs
cat stew
cat burgers
catloaf
cat fried rice
I could go on and on...might just be that its lunchtime...or that one already de-furred cat....
country fried cat with mashed potatoes and gravy...
I gotta go get lunch
Mothr
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ROFLMFAO:eek: omg i would be pissed if i was that cat, supprised it aint spoiled all of her furniture too dmn funny
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frog and pumkin
Frog likes to lay between my throttle and stick.. usually as i enter a fight..
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Do not click this link if you are opposed to senseless movie violence. (http://death.innomi.com/uploads/catscenesm.gif)
Those of you who've seen the Boondock Saints will know whats going on, those of you who havn't, should.
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Time to get a dog...
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This pieca fluff has no time to disturb...hes taking a nap you see.he just F#%@ed up 4 Main Coon's :)
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I am horrified that so many seemingly normal AH players are cat lovers. You must all be Bish and Knight. I hope no self respecting Rook would admit to owning a cat.
The worst my dog would ever do is put his chin on my lap and wait for me to take him out.
Mothr,
You forgot flip-cats. You know, those are the road kill cats that look like (and taste like) pancakes.