Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: snafu on February 19, 2003, 06:58:06 PM

Title: Dear Diary
Post by: snafu on February 19, 2003, 06:58:06 PM

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182
   8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
   10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
   11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
   1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
   4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
   5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

   EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752
- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and  the  mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761
- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet  while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the  stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once  again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on  their bed.

DAY 765
- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt  to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768
- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771
- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise  and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774
- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

TTFN
snafu

Title: Dear Diary
Post by: Hangtime on February 19, 2003, 07:18:09 PM

day 820: I have been violated. While attempting to determine the nature of the big hairless monkeys addition to the infernal device named 'computer' I was plucked from my viewing point atop the bald monkeys head and thrown 30 cat-lengths into a wall. During my justified retaliation and recovery from this shocking display of intolerance i managed to destroy a lamp, a curtain valance, two end tables and the better part of the bald ones iodine and bandage stocks.

this means war.

tonight, while he sleeps; i shall toejam in his sneaker.

Title: Dear Diary
Post by: Curval on February 19, 2003, 09:37:24 PM

LOL snafu..

Title: Dear Diary
Post by: capt. apathy on February 19, 2003, 10:22:33 PM

I know, I know,  this is a horible joke but I can't help myself.

Diary of Anne Franke

Feb. 2- Hid
Feb. 3- Hid
Feb. 4- Hid
Feb. 5- Hid
Feb. 6- Hid
Feb. 7- Hid
Feb. 8- Hid
Feb. 9- Hid
Feb. 10- Hid
Feb. 11- Hid
Feb. 12- Hid
Feb. 13- Hid
Feb. 14- Hid
Feb. 15- Hid
Feb. 16- Hid
Feb. 17- Hid
Feb. 18- Hid
Feb. 19- Hid

Title: Dear Diary
Post by: Saurdaukar on February 20, 2003, 12:23:44 AM

I havent lauched that hard in while - thanks!  :D