Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: muckmaw on February 24, 2003, 09:21:39 AM
-
Since the MA was loaded last night to 700, and I could not get in, I thought I'd drop by the training arena to see if I could help out some of our up and coming superstars. I was there all of 20 minutes, and got two nice belly chuckles.
Now, this is not to mock the new players. We were all new once. It's just for entertainment value. Names have been changed to protect the incompetent.
MuckMAW: "Jester, you need any help there?"
Jester: "Yeah, how do you lock onto your target?"
MuckMAW:"Uhhhh....lock on?"
Jester:"For the rockets."
MuckMAW: "Breaker, what's going on down there?"
Breaker: "I crash into the ground eveytime I take off."
MuckMAW:"Do you hear a noise, like a stall warning sound?"
B:"Yes"
M:"Your turning with too low airspeed and stalling your airplane"
B:"How do I make the plane go faster"
M:"Go to full throttle and hit P"
B:"I've been doing that and the planes not speeding up!"
M:"It takes a few minutes for these planes to get to top speed, especially when climbing. Whats your airspeed when you start your turn?"
B: "Airpeed?"
Please feel free to add your own. And if you can, stop by the training areana and lend a hand.
-
Noob1: Why aren't my bullets having any effect? But I die from one ping?
Shane: Are you shooting at green guys?
-
"How do I make the buzzing stop?"
"Mazz, do you need any help?" (ooh the irony)
-
WHERES THE JETS LIKE THE F-16????
-
Originally posted by Montezuma
WHERES THE JETS LIKE THE F-16????
PLEASE TELL ME THIS DID NOT HAPPEN!!!:eek:
-
Didn't one newbie come on here and ask why Atomic Bombs weren't modeled?
I give that one a 9.9 on the stupid scale....
-
Originally posted by Montezuma
WHERES THE JETS LIKE THE F-16????
Actually the player that asked that was WestAce (I think). He went on and on about why he couldnt find any jets, and kept asking why there is no modern aircraft like the F-16. If you dont see any modern aircraft when you either downloaded/started the game, wont that give you a hint that there is NO modern jets in it??
Definately at least a 8.5 out of 10 on my scale ROFL!
-
Wasnt there a guy on this forum who had a signature about a guy who was asking what the black plane was that was following him (his shadow)?
-
Originally posted by hogenbor
Wasnt there a guy on this forum who had a signature about a guy who was asking what the black plane was that was following him (his shadow)?
Yeah - read about that one a while back - WAY too off the wall to have possibly been made up - I would have augered had I read this. :D
-
wheres the bathroom (seriously i WAS asked this)
-
Ok I'm feeling quite embarrassed. There has been a time or two when I've been over water, seen a low blue bog and rolled to dive in on it....only to determine after I've started my run that I'm shadow fighting... yes yes, I'm feeling foolish.... if this rates me as a dumbarse... guilty.
BTW I can't hit my shadow, he has some kind of hack on him... bullets never bother him and he always flies so low to the water that I auger.
-
Newbie : Every time I start my engine, the sound goes away after a little while, then I crash.
Midnight : Did you run out of fuel?
Newbie : How do I know that?
-
crowMAW: ALERT HQ!!!
Newb: Which HQ?
:rolleyes:
-
Originally posted by Shane
Noob1: Why aren't my bullets having any effect? But I die from one ping?
Shane: Are you shooting at green guys?
Saw that dialog the other night ... Funniest dialog that I have seen in awhile ... thought I was gonna choke to death. Your patience was admirable.
-
Originally posted by muckmaw
MuckMAW: "Jester, you need any help there?"
Jester: "Yeah, how do you lock onto your target?"
MuckMAW:"Uhhhh....lock on?"
Jester:"For the rockets."
The wonders of the American school system...
-
Originally posted by hogenbor
Wasnt there a guy on this forum who had a signature about a guy who was asking what the black plane was that was following him (his shadow)?
IRL I was flying aerodrome circuits (don't have many solo yet), with some other planes around. Damn was I shocked when I suddenly noticed a shadow aproaching and passing exactly below me that was not heading in the direction I was. Was thinking that some dweeb was going to ram me.
-
admittedly my hearing's not what it used to be but all newbie questions sound to me like "what keys do I press to shut Aces High down immediately"?
;)
-
Someone asked me- "How do I fly"
was about to say think happy thoughts :) lol
-
Originally posted by TAILGUNNR
Someone asked me- "How do I fly"
was about to say think happy thoughts :) lol
Think I just read that last night from someone!
-
Originally posted by Shane
Noob1: Why aren't my bullets having any effect? But I die from one ping?
Shane: Are you shooting at green guys?
Good one!
BTW
Deja vu BKnute...
-
This has nothing to do with AH but serves as an example that maybe WE are odd and its not the other way round. A while back I was at someone's place with a friend. They were playing some sort of skater game, I don't even recall if it was a console game or on the PC. They kept referring to 'the level with the Spitfire'. Sure enough, they were playing that level, clearly set in an old hangar. However, I failed to see any sign of a Spitfire. Suddenly it dawned on me... one of the skating ramps was built over something big, blue with bent wings. A Corsair! I tried to convince them that the difference between a Spitfire and a Corsair is QUITE significant, but they looked at me if though I was mad. Old plane with one big propeller = Spitfire. *sigh*
-
Originally posted by wetrat
The wonders of the American school system...
We all know Kanuks are smarter than the rest of the world,what with their gov. provided medical system that leaves patients dieing in the hallways, and the overwhelming influx of canadians moving south. They surely must have it better than the Americans.
Disclaimer: Ignore all posts after 2AM EST.
-
Originally posted by Lazerus1
We all know Kanuks are smarter than the rest of the world
Just whats wrong with our country, we can't even spell our slurs right!@@ :D
-
Originally posted by muckmaw
MuckMAW: "Jester, you need any help there?"
Jester: "Yeah, how do you lock onto your target?"
MuckMAW:"Uhhhh....lock on?"
Jester:"For the rockets."
(http://www.raf303.org/phpBB2/images/smiles/rofl.gif)
-
the LA-7 was a french aircraft, roughly translated it means................the 7
don't shoot the messenger
-
Just came off the MA. There was an amusing exchange. A newbie was asking the usual questions with the CAPS on. When told to switch off the CAPS. He asked what are CAPS? He's probably still there asking now how to take off.
Perhaps we are being a little unfair. You do kind of need to have some basic knowledge on how to fly aeroplanes. It's OK for me and others who fly the real thing and for those with millions of hours on flight sims but it looks like there are plenty who know nothing. Which is great because they make such easy targets. :D
Mind you I can't talk. I had to ask how to tune in radio last night.
-
All of a sudden I have an idea. Why not make the icons of the highest ranking players a different color? Then the newbies can avoid and the overzealous like me can attack and get their tulips kicked :D
-
Originally posted by Xjazz
Good one!
BTW
Deja vu BKnute...
Terve Xjazz! kuis kulkee!
Deja vu BKnute? En ymmartamyt tuota?
-
Saw it last night in the CT:
"How do I take off?"
My regards,
Widewing
-
Terve terve VAQ!
Hyvin kulkee :D
Well, I move to the new town and local phone(monopol)company cant provide ADSL yet. Delivery time is still few months:mad:
Im sick of the AH offline testing & practising. Lately I try beat my GPL / Monza hotlap record 1.31.24 or playing Unreal Tactical Ops :rolleyes:
BKnute was fun guy who try to vulching in MA... the green ones like he get use to in TA. I was in tower and see it all LMAO :D :D :D It was last time I see him.
-
Originally posted by Widewing
Saw it last night in the CT:
"How do I take off?"
My regards,
Widewing
Yea I saw this too. It amazes me when they come in and yell out
how do i play this !!!! in CAPS to boot. I dont mind helping a guy put atleast have some vague idea of whats going on.
oh ... by the way WW I'm still reel'n from the pain from the other nite WW. LOL ...... it was funny ... your sqwak was perfectly timed to....
Jospe
-
Originally posted by hogenbor
This has nothing to do with AH but serves as an example that maybe WE are odd and its not the other way round. A while back I was at someone's place with a friend. They were playing some sort of skater game, I don't even recall if it was a console game or on the PC. They kept referring to 'the level with the Spitfire'. Sure enough, they were playing that level, clearly set in an old hangar. However, I failed to see any sign of a Spitfire. Suddenly it dawned on me... one of the skating ramps was built over something big, blue with bent wings. A Corsair! I tried to convince them that the difference between a Spitfire and a Corsair is QUITE significant, but they looked at me if though I was mad. Old plane with one big propeller = Spitfire. *sigh*
It was the Hanger level from Tony Hawk 2.
Ack-Ack
-
Originally posted by cpxxx
You do kind of need to have some basic knowledge on how to fly aeroplanes.
LOL! When I first started playing AW nearly 5 years ago, I had absolutely no idea how to fly aeroplanes and, at the time, never had any intention of flying them. I had watched my husband, Zeb, playing for about 6 months and thought it would be fun to create an account myself and just gun bombers or use vehicles. It was only after I had been playing a few weeks that I was persuaded to try flying to avoid long periods on the ground waiting for a gunner spot on our squad nights. Fortunately, I did have Zeb to help me grasp the basics..... :)
What was funny though, was because I had been watching for a while, I was able to answer other players' questions even though I hadn't been playing long myself. :D
-
Originally posted by muckmaw
PLEASE TELL ME THIS DID NOT HAPPEN!!!:eek:
ohhh but it did rofl
Forget who it was but when he asked what jets we had and we told him the Ar-234 and ME-262 the guy had no clue what they were lol Then he was shocked to find out this was a WW II game :rolleyes:
Elfie
Armageddon Pile-it
-
Ever see those Conga lines forming?
-
Originally posted by Xjazz
Terve terve VAQ!
BKnute was fun guy who try to vulching in MA... the green ones like he get use to in TA. I was in tower and see it all LMAO :D :D :D It was last time I see him.
ROFLMAO!!
Elfie
Armageddon Pile-it
-
From a few weeks ago.
Noob: "How do I fly in the game?"
Me: Do you have a joystick?"
Noob: "Whats a joystick?"
From this past Friday night
Noob: "How do you send messages to your country?"
Me: "You just did it newby."
Noob: "what did I just do?"
Me: "You just sent a message to your country."
Noob: "I don't believe you...hey does anyone else know how to send a message to your country?"
Me: .squelch Noob
Another one this past Friday night in the CT was from a recent Warbirds deserter.
WB Noob: " What is different between this game and WB?"
I tried to help the guy but he just left.
-
Are u guys notice tons of drunks droped over the airfield, not over town?
WB guys;)
ramzey
-
newb: what are those little dots???
me: enemy planes more than 6.0k away
newb K???
newb: how come whenever i hit a enemy plane i blow up
me do those "enemy" planes have green icons over them
newb icons???
-
newb: "Gorf is cheating.. I keep shooting him and I blow up. He has a hacked the system"
Gorf: .squelch:)
-
Well,
Consider the opposite side of the coin,
this morning I was tooling around in a P40E
I see a yak up from the nearby field and head straight out, not grabbing, not turning toward my clearly visible plane,
I turn and follow, not sure if I'll ever overtake, but I have alt and he's heading into friendly territory, so wth,
A dot, a friendly, a goon on a low lvl run to cap the suppressed field.
the yak is beelining for the goon, I pour it on,blow my alt, and reach them just as the Yak incinerates the UNESCORTED goony.
I get some on him, we turn a bit, then a jug breaks up the party and eats my lunch.
On the country ch. all I hear is about the n00b that blew the surprise and cost them the cap, I respond, he gets stupid
I log.
for a returning guy like me checking the game out again, this is about the worst ad incentive you can give, I threw away my hop to try and save this jerk, and his idea of gratitude is to blame me for his clearly hopeless death.
The price isn't an issue, neither is the FM, it's if I want to put up with pre-K without getting paid.
P.S. Hola ripsnort, hey get this, I TEACH now :)
-
I remember a few years ago when I started...
Kevin: How do I take off?
Someone: Advance the throttle
Kevin: When I hit numbers it says "your plane doesn't have gunners"
Someone: Do you have a joystick?
Kevin: ...
Oh yes, I do remember that WestAce. I kept buzzing all the PTs near our base to "improve moral" in an inverted 109E4 while all the time WestAce kept shooting and respawning...
-
Some time ago I d/l'd Americas Army and was a bit put off that you were forced to complete basic training (i.e. learn what all the keyboard commands were) before you could die online in typical noob fashion.
Looking back, it made perfect sense - learn how to operate the game controls before confronting opponents online, stoopid...
Perhaps HTC should consider a similar flight/ground training school for all newly registered (free or paying) pielots. Force the noobs to fly a fiter, buff, and even a ground vehicle, stepping them thru each of the basic commands required to start engine, take off, land, select/fire weapons, jump positions, and calibrate the Norton, use the radio, etc. The training arena is a great idea/service, provided you can get the noobs to take advantage of it.
Just a thought...
Chance2
-
Originally posted by chance-airwolf
Some time ago I d/l'd Americas Army and was a bit put off that you were forced to complete basic training (i.e. learn what all the keyboard commands were) before you could die online in typical noob fashion.
Looking back, it made perfect sense - learn how to operate the game controls before confronting opponents online, stoopid...
Perhaps HTC should consider a similar flight/ground training school for all newly registered (free or paying) pielots. Force the noobs to fly a fiter, buff, and even a ground vehicle, stepping them thru each of the basic commands required to start engine, take off, land, select/fire weapons, jump positions, and calibrate the Norton, use the radio, etc. The training arena is a great idea/service, provided you can get the noobs to take advantage of it.
Just a thought...
Chance2
for that u have personal trainer on tranning arena:) if u not notice that.
Every newbie when first time enter arena was asked about practice and trainer.
Sad, most of ppls even not read MOTD and pop-ups.
More, all commands are in help file, and all its clear and easy to understand even for ppls like me , with poor english skills.
Step by step tutorial will not work in this case, bicose if u have PC, u should know how to read, if u read u can read help.
If u are to lazy to read help, its your foult. And ppl who answer question on MA, are kinde to U.
About tips,ACM, SA, and many other thigs can tell u only expirrienced instructor /of cours if u not buy books about Hartman and Shaw ACM/;)
ramzey
-
Originally posted by chance-airwolf
Some time ago I d/l'd Americas Army and was a bit put off that you were forced to complete basic training (i.e. learn what all the keyboard commands were) before you could die online in typical noob fashion.
Disclaimer: This post may become a rant.
This was one of the good points of the game. Most games have some kind of tutorial, but they usually also have an option to skip them.
By forcing the user to learn something in order to play, you automaticly cancel out a large percentage of potential players. Possibly even the majority of players (Hereafter referred to as "Average Gamers" or simply "Idiots") fall into this group. The problem with them is, they don't want to learn the game, they don't understand that it matters how they behave. They're looking for a single player game. It's a group which are not easily captured in a pay-to-play online game(for fairly obvious readond). But a game that can snag them is guarenteed to make money. And so they keep trying.
One thing people tend to miss, more players isn't always better. In any mmog, the most important part of the game, beyond any single aspect of the game itself, is the community. A bad community can turn a great game into crap, and a good community can make even a bad game fun.
NOTHING can ruin a game faster than a flood of complete idiots who never really become part of the community. Whats worse is when the developers start listening to these people to try and attract more, and get more to stay. They usually succeed in keeping some, but almost always manage to alienate thier veteran players which are by far the most important group. In EVERY game, the majority of newbies never stay long enough to become veterans. The ones who do stay however, are the ones who will be paying thier monthly fee for years.
Greed kills games. It kills off the long term players, while trying to grab short term players who all tend to leave after a few months.
-
Originally posted by pzvg
for a returning guy like me checking the game out again, this is about the worst ad incentive you can give, I threw away my hop to try and save this jerk, and his idea of gratitude is to blame me for his clearly hopeless death.
He didn't harass you because you're a newbie, he harassed you because he's a moron.
When you find a MMP combat game that has no idiots playing, please let us know.
-
Originally posted by Innominate
Disclaimer: This post may become a rant.
That's no rant and what's more I agree with you.
If a noob shows a clear desire to learn and participate then more power to them. If they trash talk incessantly and type in caps then they can just sod off please.
palef
-
Originally posted by palef
...
If a noob shows a clear desire to learn and participate then more power to them. If they trash talk incessantly and type in caps then they can just sod off please.
palef
Just stopped being a newbie myself and try to help whenever I can. But there's no helping some people... (as palef says)
What bites me time and time again in AH (my first on-line gaming experience) is that people are so UNBELIEVABLY RUDE to each other. I am convinced that most of the guys being like that on-line are too timid to even look me in the eye IRL.
I can live with morons, work with them every day, but ye Gods, get rid of the unreasonable whiners, the selfish and the rude. I tend to believe from this forum that things are better in the CT, but hardly anyone is on when I play (Europe based).
See you tonight in my F4U1-D and shame on you if I get you because I suck Nilfisk in that plane :D
-
Originally posted by hogenbor
See you tonight in my F4U1-D and shame on you if I get you because I suck Nilfisk in that plane :D
ok.... two quick questions.
1. is nilfisk a cpid?
2. is f4u1-d a two seater
sorry in advance.
had to be asked
-Lute
-
Too bad each country doesn't have a training squad in MA. Could rotate instructors. TA usually becomes a vulch fest with people attacking you even when you ask them not to.
-
Originally posted by crowMAW
crowMAW: ALERT HQ!!!
Newb: Which HQ?
:rolleyes:
Originally posted be reschke:
From this past Friday night
Noob: "How do you send messages to your country?"
Me: "You just did it newby."
Noob: "what did I just do?"
Me: "You just sent a message to your country."
Noob: "I don't believe you...hey does anyone else know how to send a message to your country?"
Me: .squelch Noob
rofl
-
Originally posted by flyingaround
ok.... two quick questions.
1. is nilfisk a cpid?
2. is f4u1-d a two seater
sorry in advance.
had to be asked
-Lute
Oh dear...
Two quick answers:
1. I hope that it's not a cpid although it would be very funny :D
Nilfisk is a brand of vacuum cleaners from Denmark. They actually had a slogan in the 80's which translates from Dutch to English as 'Nothing sucks like a Nilfisk'. This was of course some years before the English expression 'sucks' was transferred/translated to common Dutch :D
But the slogan lead to the somewhat politically incorrect joke that goes like this:
Q: Why are Danish (or Swedish) women so good?
A: Because they're long. blonde and suck like a Nilfisk :D
2. The F4U-1D is NOT a two seater :D Never ever have seen pics of a two-seater Corsair, don't know if they exist. The P-51 can apparently be converted easily to tweo-seater configuration though.
-
Several bishops were attacking an airbase, and the VH needed to be destroyed. One bish gets on the radio and says hes in a bomber (this is pre-complicated bombsite days) and that he will kill the vehicle hangar. I am circling the Vh in my F4U, and I see this bish b26 comming in about 50 feet headed for the vehicle hangar. Everyone is counting on this guy to kill the VH, C47 is enroute, everyones ordinance is expended from killing GVs. The bomber flies right over the VH, drops all his bombs several hundred yards past the target, and then on the radio buffer I see "Did I hit it?". I replied "That was the funniest thing I have seen all day hahha"
-
A similar thing happened to me. This guy was enroute to a V base in a Ju88 and asked for a goony. I upped a C47 and made my way to the V base. He was just arriving as I was doing a circuit. I thought hey, no problem, he's going to bomb the place into oblivion. Nope... he starts to straff the ack and VH with his forward single 7.9mm! Needless to say he gets blown out the sky by the ack! After I asked why he didn't bomb it, he simply replied that he didn't load bombs as he wanted to get there quick. He then got all aggressive saying it wasn't his fault... blah blah blah ;)
-
As most of these peeps are probably teens or pre-teens and are labeled as my namesake :), I feel the need to help when I can. I am certainly no great stick in the game, but do know the basics at least. So when I see a "Newbie" ask a question that shows complete ignorance of gameplay, I check the roster to see if a knit or not. Then I Private message him and tell him I will have him up and at least flying in ten minutes if he will do as I say.
I take him to a back base, talk him through all the basic setups in the hanger, tell him about auto takeoff, gun convergence-shoot at red guys :) etc...
Most of these peeps couldnt find the TA if they tried, and if they at least get up in the air, understand it may take weeks to get their first kill(and let me know when they do-to give them the proper hurrah :) ) There are several Bish And Rook flyers I private message to and they help the noob on their team-- I do this cuz guys like Fidel(NB) Sehob, Teufl, DieAz etc... helped me in AW aol many years ago--prob cuz it was too funny watching me auger taking off :)
NwBie
Noob: Ok, thank you, "wow I'm up in the air!! " Ok, now how do I kill someone?
NwBie: "If you figure that out, tell me :)
-
Originally posted by davidpt40
Several bishops were attacking an airbase, and the VH needed to be destroyed. One bish gets on the radio and says hes in a bomber (this is pre-complicated bombsite days) and that he will kill the vehicle hangar. I am circling the Vh in my F4U, and I see this bish b26 comming in about 50 feet headed for the vehicle hangar. Everyone is counting on this guy to kill the VH, C47 is enroute, everyones ordinance is expended from killing GVs. The bomber flies right over the VH, drops all his bombs several hundred yards past the target, and then on the radio buffer I see "Did I hit it?". I replied "That was the funniest thing I have seen all day hahha"
The newbs are those that use their ord for GVs before the vh is down.