Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Kanth on February 27, 2003, 10:06:56 AM
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It is kinda scary when you know that these kids will be funding the social security system!
The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in Mobile, Alabama, in 2001 to 16-year-old students!
Don't laugh too hard--one of these kids may be the president someday!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How do you keep milk from turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: What is a characteristic feature of a mushroom?
A: They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What's a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
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Don't laugh too hard--one of these kids may be the president someday!
uummm... one of these kids IS President:p
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that'll explain the 1500 i scored when i was a senior in highschool. i knew something was fishy. Fell asleep during the ACT reading about the migration habits of crows...scored a 28 overall. Undermotivated at the time? yup. stupid? nope. Sad thing is i know folks who scored mid-to-low teens on the ACT...i dont remember the questions but what the f*ck is happening to the world?
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you know The SAT's are a joke when someone like me comes in with a hangover at the age of 15 ,and scores a 1400 on my first try. what is really sad is how alot of our polititions cant even break 1000.
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Those are just smart alec answers, if I was given permission to do them, pft, I woulda done those too, these kids are pissed for having to do the test..so yeah.. :D
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the answers tell me that teachers need more money so they can go to vocational school and learn somthing usefull like bricklaying or carpentry.
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Its kinda funny to read, and even funnier to see people respond as if it were real.
I remember the SATs... multiple choice... right?
The only thing more pathetic than woefully low scores on the SATs is someone presenting the ludicrous as if it were fact.
MiniD
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Originally posted by Kanth
given in Mobile, Alabama
I found the problem! :D
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ouch...
Originally posted by Mini D
The only thing more pathetic than woefully low scores on the SATs is someone presenting the ludicrous as if it were fact.
MiniD
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Doh! Sorry kanth.. kinda meant that to mean "fabricating and presenting the ludicrous".
Its the curse of the web. Stuff gets passed around enough that it is eventually viewed as being true. Not really the fault of everyone down the line... mostly since it doesn't occur to most people that someone would go out of their way to make this stuff up.
MiniD
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the real sad thing is our children are so overtested that they dont have time to learn,and it seems the teachers now have to worry so much about test scores, they have forgotten how to teach, a test shows what a student knows, it doesn't teach them how to learn.
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hang on I'm still wallowing ;)
It's a win both ways.
here's an example:
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Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. " The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
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Did it really happen? we'll never know for sure, but it makes for some quick humor :D
Originally posted by Mini D
Doh! Sorry kanth.. kinda meant that to mean "fabricating and presenting the ludicrous".
Its the curse of the web. Stuff gets passed around enough that it is eventually viewed as being true. Not really the fault of everyone down the line... mostly since it doesn't occur to most people that someone would go out of their way to make this stuff up.
MiniD
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Well mini D i dont think alot of people that play AH even took the SAT's or have not yet so they would not have caught that. But yea, this entire thread is discredited because the original post is nothing but a sham.
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LOL
Now look what you dun! :D
Originally posted by Frogm4n
Well mini D i dont think alot of people that play AH even took the SAT's or have not yet so they would not have caught that. But yea, this entire thread is discredited because the original post is nothing but a sham.
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Originally posted by Frogm4n
Well mini D i dont think alot of people that play AH even took the SAT's or have not yet so they would not have caught that. But yea, this entire thread is discredited because the original post is nothing but a sham.
I'd disagree - I'd bet 90% of those here have taken them.
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Originally posted by Frogm4n
you know The SAT's are a joke when someone like me comes in with a hangover at the age of 15 ,and scores a 1400 on my first try. what is really sad is how alot of our polititions cant even break 1000.
bragging on the Internet is really silly
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yea im thinking about the state i grauduated high school from, florida. Started with 1000 freshman and walked away with 394 in my grauduating class, and only 25 percent of those went to college. And this was at a middle class, mostly white high school.
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how about some nice balloon animals... :(
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Originally posted by Kanth
Q: How do you keep milk from turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
I'd give credit for that answer. Technically, its correct!
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Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Yeah, I hate it when I get a dead sheep in my water, don't you?
It has cost me 20 glasses so far!
Daniel
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just smart assed answers. In highschool I'd always put something smart-assed down if I didn't know the answer. or if the teacher graded on the curve and I needed to miss a few to help out some friends.
one of my favorites where when I took home-ec. (great class btw, me and 18 girls, all I really did was taste the food they made for me and told them how the clothes they made looked on them)
it asked to list the advantages of breast milk over formula. I was one short so I threw in 'comes in attractive containers'. i got a detention for that too :rolleyes: I think I should have got creativity point
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MiniD got it right. Don't believe everything you read.;
J_A_B