Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: batdog on March 12, 2003, 11:32:42 AM
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NO IDEA if this has any truth, but a guy at work rx'd a page (news) that Tehran radio was reporting the capture of Osma Bin Laden.
Considering the supposed source its most likely BS. Anybody else hear-see anything?
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I just noticed in a newspaper that he has cloned himselve.
And they growing his new cloned kids with ecstasy and cocain, so they grow 10 years for each of the normal years.
Fuk if i wanna see those kids :D
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That came across the wire this morning. The futures markets went into a frenzy, but it's been disputed by the CIA and the Pakistani News Agency. As of this time, there is no proof that it's a true report.
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Pakistani officials are denying the claim.
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I'm sure the hostilities will end if Osama is captured. That'll scare them. :rolleyes:
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ok, say YOU captured him..and had 5 minutes alone with him. What would you do?
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Originally posted by hawk220
ok, say YOU captured him..and had 5 minutes alone with him. What would you do?
SHAVE HIS BEARED!!!!!!!!!
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yea yea you could torture him and those nasty courts with all their rules and stuff wouldent save him.
such blatent wussyness is disgusting.
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Originally posted by hawk220
ok, say YOU captured him..and had 5 minutes alone with him. What would you do?
Make him eat pork :D
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Five minutes huh?
Do I get prep time?
First, I'd have him gang raped by the Village people. Then, I'd make sure one of them rams a Jimmy Dean Pork Sausage up his ass, and sews it shut.
Finally, I'd take a nice big Pork Skin, make him wear it like a pullover, and I slowly cut him up piece by piece.
Fingers...toes...ears..nose, tongue, Hands, feet, legs, arms....the whole time, letting him keep his eyes, so he can watch.
And if this did not kill him, I'd simply slit his throat, like they did to Danny Pearl.
And the whole thing would be broadcast live on CNN. Of course, I'd be more than willing to let the relatives from the victims of 9-11 get a shot in before I did him in. But I don't think I could do all this in 5 mins.
I've got some....issues...I guess.
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I'd have up in front of a war crimes tribunal, a la Milosevic or Goring.
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In 5 minutes?
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ok,Muck..since you are so prepared, you get 10 minutes:D
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i would just sit down with osama and explane how jews , christians , and muslims can live together in peace and harmony, then we would dance and sing ...cumba ya m'loard , cumba ya
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He won't be taken alive. If we find him, we'll kill him...otherwise if we took him alive then his followers would start snatching up Western hostages as trade.
However, I'll play along...I'd fly him to the altitude that the Twin towers stood in a Helo, right over the sight, and drop him. Make it pay-per-view, and the money would go to rebuilding the towers or the victims of the families.
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I'd turn him loose. Much easier to justify conquering the middle east with a credible threat at large. You want cheap oil? Better start sucking up to the US.
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It's hardly a realistic discussion, is it now. It's not as if we're actually going to be in this position.
The worst thing you could do is kill him. He would be a martyr. Best to try him as a mass murderer.
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Originally posted by Dowding
It's hardly a realistic discussion, is it now. It's not as if we're actually going to be in this position.
The worst thing you could do is kill him. He would be a martyr. Best to try him as a mass murderer.
Martyrism is easier to deal with than hostages. Mark my words.
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I dont believe that "dont make him a martyr" line of argument.
It was the exact same argument cigarette man had in X-Files...and that certainly didnt help him keep any secrets, Mulder just found out more and more and more.
So make him a martyr...I mean its not as if the moslem terrorists are lacking martyrs now is it?
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Martyrism is easier to deal with than hostages. Mark my words.
Tell that to Christians. Christ's death and martyrdom was the foundation of a whole religion for them, and they seem to be very intent on continuing Christ's work.
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Originally posted by Dowding
It's hardly a realistic discussion, is it now. It's not as if we're actually going to be in this position.
The worst thing you could do is kill him. He would be a martyr. Best to try him as a mass murderer.
Well, I'd go for diembowling him and THEN try him as a mass murderer for good measure. :D
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Great!
Lurid fantasies of torture and dismemberment capped off with references to bad television shows...could things get any more pathetic? I mean, I understand the frustration and animosity but really, can't we do better than this?
kbman
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I thought the "Jimmy Dean Pork Sausage Anal Rape" was pretty creative....
I like Rip's idea too. Making it Pay-per-View, the Free fall would still last longer than a Tyson fight.
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Agree kbman this is low leve IQ . But I understand the frustration.
If i remember the books well that was how the vikings did it 1000 years ago, tough we got futher than that ?
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I thought the "Jimmy Dean Pork Sausage Anal Rape" was pretty creative....
now were you talking honey maple or italian spice?
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Make it look like a suicide and have a few items nearby. First some pork rinds some of which would be in him. Second a few condom packs and pix of him and a really SKANKY looking prostitute with several bottles of cheap booze. Some of the booze in him as well.
Option 2. skip the suicide but use the others with photo's and introduce HIV to him. Place in a cell and let nature take it's course.
Best I could do on short notice.
Cheers
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Should drown him in pork fat, then resuscitate him and ask him if there were 72 virgins waiting for him in heaven. Then they should probably skin him alive with one of those cool looking knives from the latenight infomercial shopping channels.
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hes more likely to cyanide himself before we get close...either that or turn in one of his "stunt" doubles for the 20million dollar reward and use it for his next plot...
if i had 5 minutes with him id just casterate him...what heppens next is not suitable for these boards (use your imagination...)(or dont...)
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I would like to sit him down opposite Bush and play moderator while they discuss their respective differences. Afterall, Osama's not to blame, its societies fault.
Perhaps we can put him in a room with 2 or 3 protestors and a gun. Maybe the protestors will be able to convince him that its ok to be angry and hes not as bad a person as everyone thinks he is. Do you think they will be able to voice their opinion that the US deserved 9/11 before he shoots them all because they're Americans?
Afterall, lets be reasonable. Osama has led a very tough life, what with the profits from selling oil to Americans, and its only right for his inner child to want to smash things (like sky scrapers) in order to vent his frustration - its healthy.
Perhaps we should ask him what it is he wants? What would make him happy? Im sure hes a reasonable man. Given the choice between the destruction of major US cities and peace on Earth, Im confident he'll let the doves fly.
You want a trial for show? Fine. Hang him afterwards.
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Osama has kidnapped Saddam and took his place.
Only CIA and cowboy know that, thus all the fuss.
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If you get Osama the best way to deal with him would let this scum be judged by an islamic tribunal near the mecca.
I guess Saoudia can provide some unbiased judge in this case.
d'une pierre deux coups.
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Originally posted by hawk220
I thought the "Jimmy Dean Pork Sausage Anal Rape" was pretty creative....
now were you talking honey maple or italian spice?
ROTFLOL!
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Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal had an article on what would likely happen to Osama if he was captured. Basically, they said US officials have ruled out bringing him back to the US for any type of criminal trial, because this would require releasing too much sensitive information to his defense lawyers.
More likely would be some sort of war crimes type trial or the ol' shot-while-resisting-arrest deal.
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Originally posted by Raubvogel
Should drown him in pork fat, then resuscitate him and ask him if there were 72 virgins waiting for him in heaven.
I've always wondered this. What the heck sort of bad things do virgins have to do to get this type of deal?
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With a bunch of right wing American nut-jobs so they could see how much they have in common.
Only bad thing is we would then probably end up with an American chapter of AQ.
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Weazel, what handle do you use here when your vitriol level is down?
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You office pogues probably seen this already.
> > We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six have been apprehended. Their names are: Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin . They have been taken into custody. Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot. You are obviously not a suspect at this time.
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I have only one UBB account in use. :D
Originally posted by AKIron
Weazel, what handle do you use here when your vitriol level is down?
Wheres the vitriol?
Lets compare OBL to right wing nut-jobs.
OBL: Advocate of religious government.
RW N-Js: Same as above.
OBL: Advocate of religious based schools.
RW N-Js: Same as above.
OBL: Makes war in Gods name.
RW N-Js: Same as above.
OBL: Religious nut-job.
RW N-Js: Same as above.
The only real difference between the Christian right wing in America and OBL is who they choose to worship.
He uses meat bombs in planes, we use computer chips in cruise missles.....the end result is death for someone with either method.
DDSS.
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I'd like to string him on a catapult,launch him throught the uprights at Giant's Stadium and see him splat on the scoreboard.
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Life must suck carrying that much baggage Weazel.
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I'd shove 4" PVC tube up his arse and pour red ants in the tube.
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I'd make him read every post on the AH BBS.
Maybe strap him into a chair and expose him to Channel 1 in the game for a little while.
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Originally posted by myelo
I've always wondered this. What the heck sort of bad things do virgins have to do to get this type of deal?
they are all ugly as sin never married diseased leper virgin falafel matrons pushin 90 with no teeth and more wrinkles than dried up palm dates.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Life must suck carrying that much baggage Weazel.
Look at the worlds religions..... founded upon some magic.... founded upon some apparition or voice from the clouds....or a burning bush.
Founded upon the intervention of the supernatural in one guise or another.....miracles, revelations, a mortal man born of "God".... by a virgin.....who ultimately rises from the dead.
Look at the effect of the worlds religions, those movements that have swept up millions with their fantastical claims.
Look at what they have done to human history.
Look at the wars fought on account of them....look at the persecutions.....the massacres.
Look at the pure enslavement of reason.....look at the price of faith and zeal.
I'm hard put to determine what is more evil, religion or the pure idea. The intervention of the supernatural or the elegant simple abstract solution.
Both have bathed earth in suffering, both have brought the human race literally and figuratively to its knees.
It is not man who is the enemy of the human species.
It is the irrational....it is the spiritual when it is divorced from the material.
Baggage?
Seems to me your the one carrying about 2000 years of it.
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That reverse pineapple scene from Little Nikki would be a good start...
And after the torture i'd have some doctors revive him so that we may begin the process again... and again...etc...
I think we will exterminate him if we find him... Most likely a cruise missle upon confrimed location.
The horror, the horror...
DoctorYO