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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 02:57:01 PM

Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 02:57:01 PM
This is a real event that happened to me a couple of years ago.

I go to a "pub" with some friends.  My goal is the goal of any normal bar patron in the rest of the free world:  Have some beers, some booze, a smoke, and shoot the toejam with friends.
I order a beer and a shot.
"Sorry sir we don't have liquor, beer only."
Huh?
Just the beer then.  Hmmm "Raspberry Wheat Amber" or "Coconut Swirl Mocha Pilsner"?
OK got the beer *gag*.  Time for a smoke.
"Sir this is a non smoking establishment by state law."
OK I'll just go outside.
"Sir you can't take your beer outside."
But they have outdoor seating?
"You can only drink out there if we serve you out there because there is a public sidewalk between the pub and the outdoor seating section.  You are not allowed to transport beer through a public area.  State law."
OK I'll finish my beer, go out there, and order another.
"Here's your beer sir.  Sir is that a cigarette?  The outdoor seating section is a non smoking area."
But we're outside?!?
"Sir it's state law.  Second hand smoke kills.  They said so on TV."
OK I'll get up and go have a smoke outside the seating area.
"Sir please leave your beer here.  State law prohibits patrons from leaving the premises with a drink."
How about if I stand outside the seating area to smoke, then I lean my head into the seating area when I want a drink.  Would that be New-Age-popsicle-Compliant?
"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

And you thought communism was dead.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 02:59:24 PM
I've been to that Pub... beer's overpriced. :cool:
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: BGBMAW on March 19, 2003, 03:01:40 PM
funked..i feel ya..

Thats why im staying in Nocal...

I am going to chase these diddlying Pincko liberal Democrats out of here...

diddly this Rainbow pride tree huggn anti suv roadkill..

I kick a Grey Davis sign over anytime i see one


Love
BiGB
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: miko2d on March 19, 2003, 03:05:47 PM
Communists never worried much about smoking and (except short-lived campaign in 1984 in USSR) drinking. Those are just good excuses to start.
 Most likely once communist regime is establihsed here, they will drop the pretense and allow you to drink and smoke again. They cut down on life expecatancy - especially older unproductive years.
 That would be some consolation for the liberties lost.

 miko
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 03:11:32 PM
We have a whole different type of commie out here Miko.  You see, smoking and drinking (and 99% of other fun activities) cause increased health risks.  And when we finally reach their ideal system where the nanny state "provides" everything including health care, we can't have people taking part in such activities.  Liberties are just too expensive.  It's more like THX-1138 than the USSR.  Obey, consume, and multiply.
Title: Re: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Ripsnort on March 19, 2003, 03:12:07 PM
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
This is a real event that happened to me a couple of years ago.

I go to a "pub" with some friends.  My goal is the goal of any normal bar patron in the rest of the free world:  Have some beers, some booze, a smoke, and shoot the toejam with friends.
I order a beer and a shot.
"Sorry sir we don't have liquor, beer only."
Huh?
Just the beer then.  Hmmm "Raspberry Wheat Amber" or "Coconut Swirl Mocha Pilsner"?
OK got the beer *gag*.  Time for a smoke.
"Sir this is a non smoking establishment by state law."
OK I'll just go outside.
"Sir you can't take your beer outside."
But they have outdoor seating?
"You can only drink out there if we serve you out there because there is a public sidewalk between the pub and the outdoor seating section.  You are not allowed to transport beer through a public area.  State law."
OK I'll finish my beer, go out there, and order another.
"Here's your beer sir.  Sir is that a cigarette?  The outdoor seating section is a non smoking area."
But we're outside?!?
"Sir it's state law.  Second hand smoke kills.  They said so on TV."
OK I'll get up and go have a smoke outside the seating area.
"Sir please leave your beer here.  State law prohibits patrons from leaving the premises with a drink."
How about if I stand outside the seating area to smoke, then I lean my head into the seating area when I want a drink.  Would that be New-Age-popsicle-Compliant?
"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

And you thought communism was dead.


Its moving North too :(
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Airhead on March 19, 2003, 03:13:58 PM
Quote
Originally posted by BGBMAW
funked..i feel ya..

Thats why im staying in Nocal...

I am going to chase these diddlying Pincko liberal Democrats out of here...

diddly this Rainbow pride tree huggn anti suv roadkill..

I kick a Grey Davis sign over anytime i see one


Love
BiGB



Uh...Funked lives in Northern California idiot.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: sling322 on March 19, 2003, 03:18:24 PM
I would guess that BGB is there also....since he stated that he "was staying to chase all the pinko liberal democrats out."  

But thats just a guess.

Flame on.

to change commie pinkos to pinko liberal democrats so that the quote would be accurate.
 
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 03:19:59 PM
Yes we are coming to get you Airhead!
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 03:23:16 PM
I swear this could only happen in California.....

I went to this up-scale beer emporium and ordered a Pint of malt from the reserve list on the beer menu. When all of the sudden this oversized Raider wannabe pushes his way into the line and orders a SHOT OF WHISKEY...... we could barely control our guffaws at the cretin but he wasn't done embarassing himself.

Next he tries to take his Blueberry malt beverage .... get this.... OUTSIDE! DUH!!! The whispers of the intelligensia at the bar were all about this dunce when to top off his neanderthal act ... He LIGHTS A CIGARETTE!!!!

The gasps could be heard for miles!

Lets just say Buffy and I will NOT be purchasing our Zima there anymore!
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 03:25:36 PM
lmao
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Sikboy on March 19, 2003, 03:25:47 PM
Thihs could only happen in California.

I went to a bar, and ordered a beer. I drank it, then lit up a smoke. It was nice.
I could have ordered some booze, but wasn't in the mood.

After a couple, I went home.

Guess you just have to know where to go?

-Sik
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Airhead on March 19, 2003, 03:30:19 PM
Well, you won't find me in some gay bar drinking "Raspberry Wheat Amber" or "Coconut Swirl Mocha Pilsner." Really, Funked, ya shoulda left. ;)

Sling BTW, SaburoS lives in Northern California too.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: SOB on March 19, 2003, 03:37:06 PM
Quit trying to stir things up down there in la la land you toejamheads.  Just move to another state that doesn't suck so much ass.  If you start a ruckus and kick out the legions of idiots, they'll have to migrate somewhere else...and they tend to migrate north.  So, toe the line or move the hell out.  California is a nice containment area for the whackos!  :D


SOB
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: sling322 on March 19, 2003, 03:39:22 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Airhead
Sling BTW, SaburoS lives in Northern California too.


I really dont care.  I was just pointing out that in your haste to call BGB an idiot, you may have missed the fact that he stated he was staying in NoCal to rid it of liberal pinko democrats.  As far as I'm concerned, he can stay there.  But I would hope that he doesnt succed.  I am not fond of liberal pinko democrats or guys like BGB either.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: BGBMAW on March 19, 2003, 03:51:10 PM
lol yes..im Staying in my home in cali...

And Saburo is in Cali!!!..Gimme his adress..Im dropping off a case of Toilet paper for the kids to use on his home:)


yes sling..part o fwht u said i agrre with :)

Love
BiGB
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Vulcan on March 19, 2003, 04:05:21 PM
Two questions:
Whats Funked doing in a gay bar?

Why did they call him Sir?
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: hyena426 on March 19, 2003, 05:05:41 PM
like the laws or not,,i dont live in cali,,but!! you got to remmeber these bars are businesses,and most laws are in place,,because people abuse it,,lol

like the bar i play for,,wasnt aloud to serve hard alcohall for 2 years! just because on a busy night some kid decided to sneek out some beers and got caught by a liquor inspector that was hiding in there,,well the bar onwers lost hard allcohall rights,,and could only serve beer,,,and they allmost went under because of that,,,,because of one kid,,they allmost lost there business,,,they just now after 3 years,,got there hard allcohall back

in washington state there still aloud to smoke cigs in bars and outside,,,but it mite change,,,cigs are getting too expencive,,i gave them up when camels were 2.50 us dollars a pack,,,now there up too allmost 5 bucks,,lol,,,,im a ex smoker of 5 years,,,and i dont care if people smoke around me<~~nothing worse than a reformed smoker,,hehe,long as they dont blow it in my face,,im fine with it

as for cali,,i cant stand most of the tree huggers who move up here and try to get rid of all our power,,lol,,they wanna rip out the dams because they say samlon are dieing,,,,well i fish,,and fishing has never been better on them rivers!,,,,they tried to tell us to use wind power instead,,{well they stuck in some wind power units},,and then next day,,they jump in and say,,dont use wind power it kills birds!!,,,you just cant win,,and they wonder why cali doesnt have anuff power to provide for there own state,,maybe if they would put away the tanning beds and stop tring to save everything, then they could keep power in there houses and save people too!!

i dont mind people saving animals,,but somtimes people take it too far,,and would rather see a person dead than some spider,,lol
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: akak on March 19, 2003, 05:22:45 PM
Can't be much worse than the South.  I remember after working a 15 hour day on the last day (Saturday) of the E3 show in Atlanta back in '98, we CH techs went to this bar just in time for last call at 11:15pm.  Then a few months later when I had to work at the '98 WB Con, the same thing.  11:15pm was last call on Saturday night.  I got lucky and managed to trade a set of rudder pedals to a room service waiter for a 12-pack of beer.



Ack-Ack
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: vorticon on March 19, 2003, 05:22:46 PM
WHAT NO LIQOUR WHAT TYPE OF popsicle BAR IS THAT
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Saurdaukar on March 19, 2003, 05:26:40 PM
Cracking open a Becks and light a smoke for you Funked... love the women of SoCal, hate the politics.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: medicboy on March 19, 2003, 05:29:01 PM
I live about an hour from the border of nevada and oregon.  Very conservitive area, lots of cheap property and great hunting and fishing.  This ain't the california you read about in the paper's.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 05:32:43 PM
SoCal politics?

Do you people realize that SoCal is a Republican enclave? Can't swing a cat in Orange County without hitting a ditto head.

Hollywood is a tiny island of liberalism in a sea of churning Anne Coulter swells. Constantly lashed by the winds of O'Reilyisms. Only protected from complete erosion by the stately Ferrell palm.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Rasker on March 19, 2003, 06:03:22 PM
nah Orange County isnt what it once was bro.  Definitely battleground territory at best for Republicans.  California as a whole has gone to the point where Dems had least popular governor in the entire country yet got him reelected by 5%.  (Some say Davis managing to keep former moderate Republican mayor of L.A. Richard Riordan from winning the Republican nomination had something to do with that).
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 06:06:58 PM
The only reason Davis is still Governor, is that the Republicans found the only clown in the State who was worse to run against him.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Rasker on March 19, 2003, 06:08:03 PM
was that some Congressman, State senator?
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 06:08:41 PM
Bill Simon IIRC.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Rasker on March 19, 2003, 06:09:20 PM
say, what ever happened to the movement for the top end of California to secede and enter the Union as Baja Oregon? :)
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Rasker on March 19, 2003, 06:10:15 PM
ah right, son of the former Treasury Secretary, deficit hawk?
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 19, 2003, 06:11:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Rasker
say, what ever happened to the movement for the top end of California to secede and enter the Union as Baja Oregon? :)


It was defeated by the voters of Norte Mexico.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Lance on March 19, 2003, 06:15:26 PM
There goes Funked, quitting again.  First this BBS, then the sissy bars.

You'll go back.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Cabby44 on March 19, 2003, 06:55:33 PM
Hey Funked,  pour your beer over Pete Stark's head next time you go to some East Bay fern bar..............

Cabby
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Fuzzybunny on March 19, 2003, 08:40:53 PM
I live in Vegas, you could ,too. None of that crap here, and NO "last call for alcohol".  Legal prostitution 20 min away, beer in hand on the street, what could be better??
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Puke on March 19, 2003, 09:32:47 PM
Quote
Hmmm "Raspberry Wheat Amber" or "Coconut Swirl Mocha Pilsner"?

Interestingly, that stuff is usually made in the North.  

It sounds like you have really bad luck at finding a good bar.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 19, 2003, 10:04:39 PM
We have good bars.  But after being in a place where bars are almost uniformly good (Illinois) I was amazed that a bar like that one could exist.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Shuckins on March 20, 2003, 12:11:16 AM
MT,

Hollywood is a tiny island of liberalism is a roiling sea of republicans.  It will survive unless the tide begins to rise.

Regards, Shuckins
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Sixpence on March 20, 2003, 01:43:57 AM
Let me see, you're pissed cause you can't blow second hand smoke in someone's face.

I'm a non smoker(and damn proud of it), I was smart enough at at a young age to know better(although this did not stop me from hanging out in front of the packy trying to get someone to buy beer for me:D )

What they should do is have "smoking" bars where people who smoke can smoke. Seems kind of simple.

When ya'll say"don't like america?, then leave!" , you make a good point, and I feel the same.But don't live a double standard, if you despise California so much...........leave!

California has great agriculture, vineyards, beaches, and of course, San Diego. One of the greatest states in this great country.

And you wanna bash it cause you can't smoke, here, have a tissue.

BTW, like me, you have drank from a can so long fresh beer gags you;)
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Staga on March 20, 2003, 04:56:50 AM
Hehe and I thought it was bad here :D

In eighties you had to ask waitress if he/she would carry your drink to the another hall or terrace if you wanted to change place. We still can't buy "double whisky" in one glass; instead they're giving two shots in separate glasses so you can pour 'em to one glass by yourself, give empty glass back and drink your brains out.

Anyway we're having a small club and it's open 24/7. We obey laws so police, which used to made some visits to our club, have left us alone recently :)
We had a wwiiol squad meeting there, I'm one with blue jacket and white collar shirt in the front row (Pic (http://www.kolumbus.fi/staga/wwiiol/lagus_club.jpg)). Nice to have a place you can hang to the morning, sometimes it was almost noon when we left that place...
(parties at the Club (http://www.kolumbus.fi/staga/klubi/party_nhc.jpg))
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: hazed- on March 20, 2003, 05:55:09 AM
heres what you do......


You say that you are not happy with the flavour of their beer and you would now like to leave only you wish to return his beer to the patron area and would like a refund on your money.
When he starts to explain this isnt possible ask him to look behind him to describe just where it is that you are allowed to smoke.

by the time he turns back to you you should have urinated over his shoes liberally! :D

then finish off with a nice snappy line like...

'Heres your fu**in beer back, should taste the same too!'

or perhaps...

'New state Law: suck my dick!' :D lol

anyhow you get the idea! These people are getting out of control! If you want to smoke you should damn well be allowed to.Next guy who says your poisoning him just say 'ill stop smoking when you stop driving your F**** car!'.

The principle is exactly the same.

Resteraunts no smoking? fine
SOME bars non smoking SOME smoking? fine!.

no smoking anywhere ? thats infringing OUR rights. Its 50/50 in this world, give and take. I'll not smoke when you're eating but outside if you dont like the smoke, JUST MOVE AWAY YOURSELF. seems fair to me. youre already breathing in so many fumes from cars one bit of tabacco removed wont help a whole lot.However for the smoker you are causing distress by refusing them the cigarette.YES its bad for us we know, however it is an addictive drug and its no easy task to give up.I think reducing the amount of places we smoke is enough of a gesture on the part of the smokers.We dont have to stop for ANYONE but our selves.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: hazed- on March 20, 2003, 06:13:13 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Fuzzybunny
I live in Vegas, you could ,too. None of that crap here, and NO "last call for alcohol".  Legal prostitution 20 min away, beer in hand on the street, what could be better??


when can i move in? :)
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Dowding on March 20, 2003, 06:41:27 AM
Quote
Next guy who says your poisoning him just say 'ill stop smoking when you stop driving your F**** car!'.

The principle is exactly the same.


Where do people drive their cars indoors? Or in pubs, for that matter.

Sounds like a crazy place and probably isn't worth going to anyway.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Vermillion on March 20, 2003, 07:09:35 AM
California, the Granola capitol of the US.

Oh.... and you know what Granola is don't you? Its full of FRUITS AND NUTS !!!! :p
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Eaglecz on March 20, 2003, 09:44:49 AM
Quote
Originally posted by miko2d
Communists never worried much about smoking and (except short-lived campaign in 1984 in USSR) drinking. Those are just good excuses to start.
 Most likely once communist regime is establihsed here, they will drop the pretense and allow you to drink and smoke again. They cut down on life expecatancy - especially older unproductive years.
 That would be some consolation for the liberties lost.

 miko


wea re may be speacial country, but every freaking comunist i ever seen was heavy smoker :D

seriously... was kind of nessesery image
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: lazs2 on March 20, 2003, 09:48:38 AM
funked... let me help you out with some advice... when all the patrons are dressed in full leather and there are no harley's out front.. or.... when the patrons are wearing leather pants with on butt in em...  you need to find another bar..  unless you actually do fly LW planes in AH of course.  
lazs
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 02:41:47 PM
Staga I'm coming to your club tonight.  :)
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 02:44:25 PM
BTW I made up the beer names.  But they are close enough.  Bunch of popsicle microbrew BS.  Beer ain't drinkin anyways.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: BGBMAW on March 20, 2003, 02:56:39 PM
funked i got ur humor..i was laffing...

Berry Zest Latte Decaf Light Lager


hehehe

firkn hippes invading our alcohol
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 20, 2003, 05:09:26 PM
Jeeez Staga... 19 guys and 1 lady!

What kind of bar is that exactly?
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: Airhead on March 20, 2003, 05:20:31 PM
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Jeeez Staga... 19 guys and 1 lady!

What kind of bar is that exactly?


That's a bar where only one guy gets lucky and 18 guys go home alone.
Title: Only In Kalifornia
Post by: midnight Target on March 20, 2003, 05:22:41 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Airhead
That's a bar where only one guy gets lucky and 18 guys go home alone.


You have obviously neglected your porno video studies....

Now get back to work!