Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 09:02:43 PM

Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 09:02:43 PM
"The Seventh Calvary is the tip of the spear..." - Some meatstick on CNN.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Hangtime on March 20, 2003, 09:09:02 PM
"murrph umnerf dershiftom whupufh phe dwesqrt"

..cnn reporter in gas mask
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Udie on March 20, 2003, 09:10:10 PM
"Well it's about 45 minutes to daylight here in Bagdad.  I don't think we'll see any shock and awe for another day" - Every damn network
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: NUTTZ on March 20, 2003, 09:11:16 PM
"the War  to bagdad, Brought to you by... AFLAIC"

Then broke to the commercial

NUTTZ
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: CMC Airboss on March 20, 2003, 09:21:46 PM
Reporter "Thats right, they've cautioned us not to disclose our location for obvious reasons."

Home desk  "It looks like you are approaching a sand berm "

Reporter "Yes, thats the Iraqi border about a mile and a half away"

FoxNews 7:16p PST

sheesh

MiG
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Vermillion on March 20, 2003, 09:32:38 PM
Tedd Koppel w/3rd ID

"As you can see behindme, there is a Bradley armored vehicle moving into Iraq"

"Umm Ted, thats a M113 ."

"I meant the next vehicle behind it, and you can see the large follow on armored column"

"Umm Ted thats a M577 Command Vehicle"

"I meant the next vehicle behind it"

"Umm Ted thats obviously a M1A1 Abrahams Tank."

At this point even friggin ABC news cuts away because Ted Koppel is a dumb bellybutton that even THEY are embarassed about.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: john9001 on March 20, 2003, 09:33:09 PM
where is this shuckn-naw they keep talking about? i can't find it on the map, is it near bagdad?
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Gman on March 20, 2003, 09:37:57 PM
lmao

"What is to stop the Iraqi's from watching CNN and following the 7th Cav and sending some planes to attack them".

A: what planes

B: Sand = bad for landmark navigation, especially from blurry digital screen.

C: Please quit and go pump gas idiot CNN commentator, or let the guy with the 7th Cav talk for you, as he's not a fool.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 09:39:20 PM
"It's just a vast sea of sand and we're just making one small trail in this vast sea of sand." - CNN F-wad
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 10:02:37 PM
"They have seen camels before but not like this, camels with 120 mm guns" CNN gomer
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Pei on March 20, 2003, 10:13:16 PM
Funked, don't you have something better to do? Don't you know there is a war on?
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Saurdaukar on March 20, 2003, 10:16:49 PM
::As a pair of Tomcats launched from a CV last night (CNN)::

"And behind me you'll see two F14 Tomahawks launching, armed with air to ground bombs."

F14 Tomahawk?

Air to ground bombs?

Wow...
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: funkedup on March 20, 2003, 10:32:42 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Saurdaukar
::As a pair of Tomcats launched from a CV last night (CNN)::

"And behind me you'll see two F14 Tomahawks launching, armed with air to ground bombs."

F14 Tomahawk?

Air to ground bombs?

Wow...


Do a Google search for "bombcat".
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Dago on March 20, 2003, 11:38:05 PM
When the first bombs were dropped, Peter Jennings said something to the effect of:

"and B17s are bombing Bagdhad, er F117s"
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Meatwad on March 21, 2003, 12:04:49 AM
ROFL!!!!!  Heard the F-14 Tomahawk but didnt dawn on me until now, funny!!  Maybe the Tomahawk could be ground to ground bombs :D
Title: Following CBS
Post by: Golfer on March 21, 2003, 01:30:49 AM
Was enjoying myself on the couch reading flyingmag and sipping on a bottle of U.S. bottled water when i overheard some blonde talking about how aircraft carriers can be a dangerous place.  well, yeah.  So i watch now as she says "watch what happens to our camera man"

Panning shot on an aircraft carrier i didn't catch the name of, lovely view of a superhornet taxiing around as it makes a hard right turn to gets into sequence for its cat-shot.  juuuuuust as the nozzles pass a perfect lineup with this numb-nut camera man staring right up the bellybutton end of two hornet engines you see the cameraman's first person view of what its like to be blown over by jet blast.  I laughed and laughed and laughed and am laughing even now just thinking about it.  Maybe it comes from working the flight line?  maybe its just better genetics?  maybe its just common sense.  But i don't recall ever taxiing too close to a jet on a taxiway (even an RJ will cook you) let alone stand behind one.  Anyways...wish i had a film clip.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Tuomio on March 21, 2003, 03:04:03 AM
Rofl, B17:s..Now THAT would be cool sight.

Lets carpet bomb the Baghdad! ;)
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: mjolnir on March 21, 2003, 03:21:19 AM
Think I heard one about our Stealthhawk fighters dropping Tomahawks on Baghdad.....
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Hortlund on March 21, 2003, 03:27:01 AM
"The 7th Cavalry, as you see it, rolling across the desert is now here looking for pockets of the Iraqi army. And, of course, they have every intention to treat them as hostile horses as the commander of the 7th Cavalry said to us earlier in the day: If we meet the Iraqis, we will kill them. ."

-CNN Walter Rodgers with the 7th Cav.

Huh?
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Dinger on March 21, 2003, 04:59:19 AM
MSNBC: "M109 P-Aladdin"
Fox: "M109 Fal- AyDin"

or rather.
Fox:
"We're with a group of M109 Pal-Ay-Dins as part of the 3rd ID.... A volley of shells just flew over head and exploded to to the rear of our position! (howitzers lower their tubes to about 300 mils QE).  There's some activity here. (sounds of a battalion fire mission, on screen platoon-left FFE).  It looks like they've just started to prep the battlefield."


or the brachylogic:
"a bomb strike to decapitate saddam hussein"

or (cnn) up north, on a bridge:  on one side a kurd checkpoint.  Zoom to other side, where a team of Iraqi soldiers is heading up the road.  Five are below the road flanking on the embankment.  One is looking very cautious, bushing a metal device not unlike those used to rake infields at baseball games.  Pop a paper bag near these guys and they'll be checking to make sure they still have anuses.
"The iraqis on the other side seem to be taking it easy and relaxing.  They don't seem to present a threat or appear threatened themselves."

al-samoud 2 becomes a scud.
any number of MRLS mentions.  Actually, the best was:
"We saw an MLRS fire, but it wasn't firing the regular missiles, but one of those telephone-pole sized missiles."  okay, sure, MLRS fires both rockets and missiles, but which ones aren't 13 feet long?

The whole debate over whether that taped message was SH.  Come on, if you're gonna fake it, you're gonna fake it a little better than that.

still, once again, Peter Arnett's baghdad hot mike feed pays off.
"What, we can't say that on the air!"
"no no, you fool! I know about those little explosions.  Tell me if you see something that you haven't seen before!"
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: beet1e on March 21, 2003, 05:27:10 AM
Two BBC reporters discussing the forthcoming war: "Clearly the economy would benefit from a short, decisive war rather than a long protracted war". Geez, talk about stating the bleedin' obvious. :rolleyes:
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Innominate on March 21, 2003, 05:35:22 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Saurdaukar
"And behind me you'll see two F14 Tomahawks launching, armed with air to ground bombs."
 


I watched a former secretary of the air force talking about a video clip, describing F/A-18's, thier capabilities, etc.  While the video clip was clearly showing F-14's.

Or the people calling the m113 a tank.

I wish reporters would stop trying to act like they know what they're talking about, or spend 10minutes briefing themselves on the various systems being used.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: beet1e on March 21, 2003, 05:38:04 AM
Does Ted Koppel still have that idiotic hairpiece?  It might have looked OK to begin with, but I remember the hair on the sides of his head greying while his hairpiece colour remained constant. Looked weird...
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Turdboy on March 21, 2003, 07:52:30 AM
Peter Jennings last night.

"The anti-war protesters in are against the war in Iraq"

or

"War protesters around the world are upset with the U.S. for going to war with Iraq and who could blame them"
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: JBA on March 21, 2003, 08:39:52 AM
Peter Jennings  is a tool.
Title: Re: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Ripsnort on March 21, 2003, 08:47:43 AM
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
"The Seventh Calvary is the tip of the spear..." - Some meatstick on CNN.


I laughed like hell when he said that...:)

Great thread, heard just about everyone of those up above and was laughing with ya.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: SOB on March 21, 2003, 08:57:57 AM
Hmmm...I figured it out.  They're using special B17s armed with air to air bombs!


SOB
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: SOB on March 21, 2003, 08:58:39 AM
Shock and Awe!
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: seabat on March 21, 2003, 09:26:33 AM
Reporter interviewing a US Admiral about operations;

"Commander, what will be the first objectives of the air strikes?"

Reporter interviewing a Lt. Col.:

"Lieutenant, what would be good indicators of success of achieving military objectives"

Reporter on CNN:

"We have exclusive just released video from the military which we will play now.   We do not know the location of the video but it is obviously C-130 aircraft and other refueling aircraft at an airbase, presumably in Kuwait."  

The video is of the building in Bagdad burning.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: miko2d on March 21, 2003, 10:10:27 AM
Saurdaukar: Air to ground bombs?

 Everybody knows germans experimented with air-to-air bombs in 1944-45 to use against allied bomber formations. He had to make it clear.


beet1e: "Clearly the economy would benefit from a short, decisive war rather than a long protracted war". Geez, talk about stating the bleedin' obvious.

 Far from obvious - even wrong here. If we show our resolve and kill a lot of people this time, others will think twice before refusing to take dollars in favor of Euro. That would really benefit our economy long term.

 miko
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Naso on March 21, 2003, 10:14:55 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
"a bomb strike to decapitate saddam hussein"


Suddenly an image has formed in my mind, with this bomb screaming down with a blade in his hands.

Sort of the bullets from "Roger Rabbit"

:)
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Squire on March 21, 2003, 10:16:41 AM
#1 Any peice where they talked about the MOAB bomb. Good grief.

#2 Anything that came out of CNN Erin Brown's overstuffed pie hole.

Somebody should write a book.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Sandman on March 21, 2003, 10:20:39 AM
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
Do a Google search for "bombcat".


The bombcat part tracks... the F14 Tomahawk part is right out.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Hawklore on March 21, 2003, 10:38:21 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Dago
When the first bombs were dropped, Peter Jennings said something to the effect of:

"and B17s are bombing Bagdhad, er F117s"


I thought I heard that too, but I think it was F17's is what he said..


The true age of Ted Koppel and that other guy, talking about the lip mic..

And there was this guy talking about what they just passed and then goes (While a Lt.Col stands next to him) well, well Im not allowed to talk about that..
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Shuckins on March 21, 2003, 11:00:08 AM
Most idiotic statement was made during an interview of a former British diplomat who had lived for many years in Iraq.

"The U.S. is interfering with the sovereignty of a foreign nation and the right of its people to choose their own form of government."

I could only shake my head in amusement.  

That merely confirmed my impression that much of the opposition to the invasion is based on deep-seated, anti-American sentiment.  A sentiment that was, in his case, personal and not representative of the nation that he comes from.  A sentiment that was reinforced by his long residence in a country where he was subjected to the subtle, and not so subtle, propaganda of Saddam's regime.

As the Bible says, "There are none so blind as those that will not see."

Shuckins
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: lord dolf vader on March 21, 2003, 11:30:03 AM
and you arent sujected to such messages lol. you never watch fox?
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Shuckins on March 21, 2003, 11:33:41 AM
Dolf,

I watch Fox about as often as you watch CNN.

Regards, Shuckins
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Udie on March 21, 2003, 01:28:32 PM
"The sisters of death and night move incesantly over Bagdad" - Dan Blather CBS
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Kanth on March 21, 2003, 06:51:49 PM
"the hamas have been urging iraqi's to carry out homicide bombings" some bimbo fox news
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: cp on March 21, 2003, 06:53:12 PM
"A few hours ago, B-52 Stealth Bombers  departed Lakenheath for targets in Iraq."
  ABC News Radio
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: funkedup on March 22, 2003, 01:13:15 AM
"...and on the right side of the (Kiowa Warrior) we have a two point seven millimeter rocket launcher..." - CNN
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Athena3 on March 22, 2003, 04:24:42 AM
Quote
Originally posted by cp
"A few hours ago, B-52 Stealth Bombers  departed Lakenheath for targets in Iraq."
  ABC News Radio


What's even more impressive is that they came from Lakenheath.  I never saw them at all (not to mention we don't have the ramp space to support buffs).  The buffs were at RAF Fairford.

Also, found this little gem on Sky News website:

Quote
Capt. Bergen said he was not aware of any US casualties but an armoured vehicle used to retrieve damaged tanks had been hit by a rocket-propelled brigade.


Story here (http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1084661,00.html)
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Rino on March 22, 2003, 07:18:59 AM
An MSNBC reporter about 100 foot from a battery of M109A6s:
"Oooh! Man that's loud!"  "I don't know if you folks at
home can hear this, but it's incredibly loud "

     We couldn't hear it, because the camera mic obviously had
a decibel limit filter or something, all you could hear was the
initial noise, then it cut out.  I was ROFL at this mental giant
standing 100 foot from a 6 inch gun not realizing it would be
loud.  Must be his first war or something :)

     Rino
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: rpm on March 22, 2003, 07:29:31 AM
FOX News:
Anchor: I know you can't disclose your locatoin, but I see it's green behind you.

Meatwad: Yes, we are just across the Tigris River from Basara.


Just frag the idiot.....
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Meatwad on March 22, 2003, 07:38:53 AM
Hey!!!!

BTW That was another Meatwad, not the original whom is currently speaking and the one is currently speaking is me and the original.
Title: Post Your Idiot Newscaster Statements Here
Post by: Krusher on March 22, 2003, 11:04:50 AM
Lauri Dhue FXN - Well thats an impressive display of ordanace.


i felt like saying .. whyy thankk youuuu