Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Stringer on April 02, 2003, 08:39:06 PM
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Favorite series....Black Adder Goes Forth.....Favorite episode....The "Coffe Darling?" episode!
I have a cunning plan.
Stringer
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i like episode where he falls in love with bob. they talkin to the old crazy witch and she tells him 3 possible option. one is kill bob. two is kill himself. 3 is kill everyone.
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That was Blackadder 2.
"You have a woman's purse my lord!"
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Originally posted by Swoop
That was Blackadder 2.
"You have a woman's purse my lord!"
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
is blackadder 1 the world war I shows? they both funny.
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Blackadder I was waaaaay back in the middle ages. Richard the 3rd time? I think.
"I shall call myself.....the Black Vegetable!"
"Actually my lord I have a better idea......"
Blackadder II was Elizabethan.
"My apple-o-gies for being late Blackadder."
Blackadder III was Regency period.
"It's as cunning as a very cunning thing."
Blackadder IV was WWI trenches.
"Treat yer kite like yer woman, get inside her 10 times a day and take her to heaven and back. Woof!"
oh, and "Wibble."
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
P.S. I really fancy Miranda Richardson who played Queen Liz the 1st in Blackadder II.
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(http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/images_tv/comedy/blackadders.jpg)
(dawn, in the dugout)
Baldrick: (enters) It's stopped raining at last, sir, begging your pardon --
looks like we might have a nice day for it.
George: Yes, it's nearly morning...
Edmund: (peeks outside) Good lord -- so it is. Right, time to make my call.
(winds the telephone) Hello? Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig, please.
Yes, it's urgent...
(Haig picks up and is looking over a model of the battlefield.)
Haig: Haig.
Edmund: Hello, Sir Douglas.
Haig: Who is this?
Edmund: Captain Blackadder, sir, erstwhile of the 1945th East African rifles.
Haig: Good lord! Blacky! (knocks down an entire line of model soldiers)
Edmund: Yes, sir.
Haig: I haven't seen you since... (knocks down the second line of model
soldiers on the same side)
Edmund: '92, sir -- Mboto Gorge.
Haig: By jingo, yes. We sure gave those pygmies a good squashing.
Edmund: We certainly did, sir. And do you remember...?
Haig: My god, yes. You saved my damn life that day, Blacky. If it weren't for
you, that pygmy woman with the sharpened mango could have seriously...
Edmund: Well, exactly, sir. And do you remember then that you said that if
I was ever in real trouble and I really needed a favour that I was
to call you and you'd do everything you could to help me?
Haig: (sweeps the fallen soldier models into a dustpan) Yes, yes, I do, and
I stick by it. You know me -- not a man to change my mind.
Edmund: No -- we've noticed that.
Haig: So what do you want? Spit it out, man. (hurls the dead platoon over
his shoulder)
Edmund: Well, you see, sir, it's the Big Push today, and I'm not all that
keen to go over the top.
Haig: (sits) Oh, I see. Well...
Edmund: It was a viciously sharp slice of mango, wasn't it, sir...
Haig: (fiddles with one of the soldiers) Well, this is most irregular, but,
erm, all right. If I do fix it for you, I never want to hear from you
again, is that clear?
Edmund: Suits me, Douggy.
Haig: Very well. Listen carefully, Blackadder; I won't repeat this. Put your
underpants on your head and stick two pencils up your nose. They'll
think you're crazy and send you home. Right, favour returned. (hangs up)
Edmund: (hanging up his end) I think the phrase rhymes with `clucking bell'.
Baldrick: Does that mean you'll going over the top, now, sir?
(phone rings, Edmund quickly picks it up)
Edmund: Field Marshal?
Melchett: (on the other end, laughs) Well, not quite, Blackadder -- at least
not yet. No, I just wanted to let you know I've sent a little
surprise over for you.
(Darling enters, wearing helmet)
George: Sir! (salutes)
Edmund: (hangs up the phone, turns) Captain Darling...
Darling: Captain Blackadder.
Edmund: Here to join us for the last waltz?
Darling: (nervous) Erm, yes -- tired of folding the general's pyjamas.
George: Well, this is splendid, comradely news! Together, we'll fight for king
and country, and be sucking sausages in Berlin by teatime.
Edmund: Yes, I hope their cafes are well stocked; everyone seems determined
to eat out the moment they arrive.
George: No, really, this is brave, splendid and noble! Sir?
Edmund: Yes, Lieutenant?
George: I'm scared, sir.
Baldrick: I'm scared too, sir.
George: I mean, I'm the last of the tiddlywinking leapfroggers from the Golden
Summer of 1914. I don't want to die. I'm really not overkeen on dying
at all, sir.
Edmund: How are you feeling, Darling?
Darling: Erm, not all that good, Blackadder -- rather hoped I'd get through the
whole show; go back to work at Pratt & Sons; keep wicket for the
Croydon gentlemen; marry Doris... Made a note in my diary on my way
here. Simply says, "Bugger."
Edmund: Well, quite.
(a voice outside gives orders)
Voice: (??)! (??)!
Edmund: Ah well, come on. Let's move.
Voice: Fix bayonets!
(They start to go outside)
Edmund: Don't forget your stick, Lieutenant.
George: Oh no, sir -- wouldn't want to face a machine gun without this!
(outside, they all line up as the shelling stops)
Darling: Listen! Our guns have stopped.
George: You don't think...?
Baldrick: Maybe the war's over. Maybe it's peace!
George: Well, hurrah! The big knobs have gone round the table and yanked the
iron out of the fire!
Darling: Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War: 1914-1917.
George: Hip hip!
All but Edmund: Hurray!
Edmund: (loading his revolver) I'm afraid not. The guns have stopped because
we're about to attack. Not even our generals are mad enough to shell
their own men. They think it's far more sporting to let the Germans
do it.
George: So we are, in fact, going over. This is, as they say, it.
Edmund: I'm afraid so, unless I think of something very quickly.
Voice: Company, one pace forward!
(everyone steps forward)
Baldrick: Ooh, there's a nasty splinter on that ladder, sir! A bloke could
hurt himself on that.
Voice: Stand ready!
(everyone puts a foot forward)
Baldrick: I have a plan, sir.
Edmund: Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Edmund: As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning
at Oxford University?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Voice: On the signal, company will advance!
Edmund: Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was
better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad.
I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?
(whistle blows)
Edmund: Good luck, everyone. (blows his whistle)
(Everyone yells as they go over the top. German guns fire before
they're even off the ladders. The scene changes to slow motion,
and explosions happen all around them. [An echoed piano slowly plays
the Blackadder theme.] The smoke and flying earth begins to obscure
vision as the view changes to the battlefield moments later: empty
and silent with barbed wire, guns and bodies strewn across it. [A
bass drum beats slowly.] That view in turn changes to the same field
as it is today: overgrown with grasses and flowers, peaceful, with
chirping birds.)
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Baldrick!
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my favourite scene, Blackadder 1, when he drags the Kings body away...
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I wish we could make good tv like that here in the states.
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I have a cunning plan sir!
I miss that one! (R. Atkinson's last movie is out, haven't seen it yet. did anyone? How is it?)
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hello darling...
Tronsky
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P.S. I really fancy Miranda Richardson who played Queen Liz the 1st in Blackadder II.
Me too! Then again, I fancy her in anything she does and she must be at least twice my age.
Melchett: "And when you return, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room."
Blackadder: "Not if I have my strength he won't."
Blackadder Goes Forth is the best, closely followed by Blackadder II. The Duke of Wellington episode from Blackadder III is very good, though.
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Yeah, you know all about pumping eh Dowd?
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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P.S. No, you wont ever live it down. :D
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Originally posted by Swoop and Dowding
P.S. I really fancy Miranda Richardson who played Queen Liz the 1st in Blackadder II.
Yup. Me too :D
Gatso
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Oooh, Miranda Richardson... loved it when she stripped off naked in 'After Pilkington' ;)
My favourite is Blackadder II...
Queenie: There's definitely been no sign of Edmund.
Percy: I fear not, Mum.
Queenie: Where did he vanish? Simply vanished.
Percy: Like an old oak table.
Queenie: Vanished, Lord Percy, not *varnished*.
Percy: Forgive me, my lady, but my uncle Bertram's old oak table completely vanished. 'Twas on the night of the great Stepney fire. And on that same terrible night, his house and all his other things completely vanished too. So did he, in fact. It was a most perplexing mystery.
Queenie: Lord Percy.
Percy: Yes?
Queenie: It's up to you. Either you can shut up or have your head cut off.
Percy: (thinks for a few seconds) I'll shut up.
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Also, in Blackadder I, there seemed to be a few references to Rutland (where I live!). I know that Stephen Fry went to school in Rutland and I think Rowan Atkinson lived here for awhile too...
Percy: [trying to show off in front of Baldrick, speaks to Edmund] It will be a great day to-morrow for we nobles.
Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up a tree somewhere in Rutland.
Baldrick: With you at the helm, My Lord, we cannot lose.
Percy: [still trying to show off] Well, we could if we wanted to!
Edmund: Ah, but we won't, Percy, and I shall prove to all that I am a man!
Percy: But you are a man, My Lord.
Edmund: But how shall it be proved, Percy...?
Percy: Well, they could look up that tree in Rutland. [Edmund bops him on the forehead] Not in front of the staff, My Lord.
Edmund: It shall be proved by mine enemies rushing to the water closet in terror!
Baldrick: Hurray!
Percy: [restrained] Hurray!
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Putting Baldrick up for election (and finding out his first name!).
Edmund: What we need is an utter unknown yet someone over whom we have complete power. A man with no mind, with no ideas of his own. One might almost say a man with no brain. (he rings the servant bell)
Prince George: Well...any thoughts?
Edmund: Yes, Your Highness. (Enter Baldrick)
Baldrick: You rang, My Lord?
Edmund: (to George) Meet the new member of Parliament for Dunny-on-the-World.
Prince George: But he's an absolute arsehead!
Edmund: Precisely, sir. Our slogan shall be: "A rotten candidate for a rotten borough." Baldrick, I want you to go back to your kitchen sink, you see, and prepare for government.
At Baldrick's/Blackadder's Quarters
Edmund: Right. Now all we have to do is fill in this MP application form. Name: (with Baldrick) `Baldrick'. First name...?
Baldrick: Er, I'm not sure.
Edmund: Well, you must have some idea...
Baldrick: Well, it might be `Sod off'.
Edmund: What?
Baldrick: Well, when I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick," and they'd say, "Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick."
Edmund: All right, right right right right, `Mr. S. Baldrick'. Now; distinguishing features... `None'.
Baldrick: Well, I've got this big growth in the middle of my face.
Edmund: That's your nose, Baldrick. Now any history of insanity in the family? Tell you what, I'll cross out the `in'. Any history of *sanity* in the family? `None whatsoever'. Now then; criminal record...
Baldrick: Absolutely not.
Edmund: Oh, come on, Baldrick, you're going to be an MP, for God's sake! I'll just put `fraud and sexual deviancy'. Now; minimum bribe level...
Baldrick: One turnip. Oh, hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market.
Edmund: Baldrick, I've always been meaning to ask: Do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?
Baldrick: Er, no.
Edmund: So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?
Baldrick: I'd get a little turnip of my own.
Edmund: So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?
Baldrick: Oh, that's different. I'd get a great big turnip in the country.
(someone knocks at the door)
Edmund: Oh God, I'll get that. Here (pushes paper to Baldrick), sign here. (motions where with his hand; Baldrick marks an `X' on Edmund's palm; Edmund presses his palm against the application.)