Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Dune on April 15, 2003, 12:34:41 PM
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From Sports Illustrated Magazine:
On a Wing and a Prayer, by Rick Reilly
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have --
John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity....Move to Guam instead. Change your name. Fake your own death. Whatever you do, do not go.
Why do I say this? Because I know.
The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time.
If you see this man, run the other way. Fast. Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ("T-minus 15 seconds and counting...." Remember?). Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, "We have a liftoff."
Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 illion weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before he flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning. "Bananas," he said. "For the potassium?" I asked. "No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Lead foot - but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, that was it. A fighter pilot named "Psycho" gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would "egress" me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious from the G-forces.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14. Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life.
Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80 minutes.
It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose high and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per whatever. We chased another F-14, and it chased us. We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G-force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me. And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite.
Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two. Biff
said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to "throw down".
I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and Freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand. A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighter pilots had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flight suit. What is it? I asked. . . . "Two Bags."
Thanks Wolf.
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Two-bags... I like. :D
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well dune , now that you have a genuwine USN callsign, are you going to change your AH handle?
good story ,"two bags"
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There was a guy in Warbirds who got his nickname the same way I think, "Hat Trick". :)
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Well, Two Bags:
Here's two big thumbs up for you!
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"Dad, why did you name me what I am"
"Why do you ask Two-bags dangling?"
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"Two Bags" WTG
:D
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I made Linda Blair look polite.
LOL!
Well, there is hope for "Two Bags." Even Chuck Yeager would get sick when he was first learning to fly.
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Originally posted by funkedup
There was a guy in Warbirds who got his nickname the same way I think, "Hat Trick". :)
For a couple years I used to call him "Hat rack" :)
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That was a cool piece...gonna save it.:)
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Is this guy retarded or what? Fighter pilots arent super tough, they've just been conditioned to Gs for a while.
Just like running a marathon. It takes much practice and training.
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This is a great story that I read in S.I. about 2 or 3 years ago. We have the Blue Angels every year at the air museum I work for and it's always a cool time.
:)
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At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to "throw down".
LOL!
Thanks for the post... a great read.
MiniD
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Originally posted by davidpt40
Is this guy retarded or what? Fighter pilots arent super tough, they've just been conditioned to Gs for a while.
Just like running a marathon. It takes much practice and training.
And you know this from personal experience. Riiiiiiiight.
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Originally posted by rpm371
And you know this from personal experience. Riiiiiiiight.
He was Voss' wingman in the Gulf War.
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Excellent story! thanks!
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lol ripsnort is on my ignore list...I guess the Animal's trick worked :)
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Originally posted by davidpt40
Is this guy retarded or what? Fighter pilots arent super tough, they've just been conditioned to Gs for a while.
Just like running a marathon. It takes much practice and training.
My guess is you missed the point he was making.
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Originally posted by udet
lol ripsnort is on my ignore list...I guess the Animal's trick worked :)
That went over my head faster than a .223
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Thanks... hilarious story...
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/magazine/life_of_reilly/news/1999/09/14/life_of_reilly/
(http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/magazine/life_of_reilly/news/1999/09/14/life_of_reilly/reilly.jpg)
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I guess he didnt feel the need for speed. He cant be my wingman anytime.
:D
Heres some more pricing on the mig rides. These are a bit more expensive though.
http://www.moscowaircraft.com/specials.htm
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Try this also:
http://www.biohazcentral.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Sections&file=index&req=viewarticle&artid=14&page=1
A squaddie sent it to me...