Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Syzygyone on May 07, 2003, 09:50:50 AM
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Hey, all you arm chair international relations diletante's!
I am in need of some inspiration. So, I asked that you please list here your best put-downs.
i.e. Jane, you ignorant slut!,
or my personal favorite:
If your brain were put on the sharp edge of a razor blade, it'd look like a tennis ball rolling down a four lane highway!
Preferably with no substantive argument, just the put downs please. It's so much more pleasant that way.:) :D :cool:
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Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?
from:
Shakespearian insults (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?)
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/. wingman BGBMAW
:D
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Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.
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Originally posted by Curval
Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.
I fart in your general di-rection...
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Yo Momma - A classic
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life
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Your'e so ugly that you'd make a funeral turn up an alley!
You're so ugly, you'd stop a bucket-o-sh#t in mid-air!
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IOWA = Idiots out Walking Around
IOWA = I owe the world an apology
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One good turn deserves another between my legs hangs your mother.
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Ahh, so you're French.. :)
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Your momma's so hunchbacked, she needs a snorkel to do the dishes...
Your momma rides a Harley sidesaddle.
Your momma's face could make a freight train take a dirt road.
Your momma's so fat when she walks down the street, the police tell her to break it up.
Don't rack your brain over it, you might crush the pea...
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from a movie but hey...
the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's a** and ended up as a brown stain on the matress.
from tv...
at least MY mother wasn't on the cover of "crack potato weekly"
unknown source...
mathman eats poop
:D
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Your momma's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this......................... .Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, California........
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I would come back with a come back.
But all the Cum's in the back of you're mouth.
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What type of put downs are you looking for? Here are a couple for the less than mentally gifted....
If you lived in the land of half wits, you'd be considered mentally handicapped.
Your village is celebrating your having left.
You're such a dim bulb you couldn't illuminate the inside of a shoe box.
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A few of my favorites:
When I want your opinion Ill give it to you. (it takes them a minute, but when they get it, watch their face turn red.)
Who are you? (the ultimate insult)
Im trying to see things from your point of view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. (great line... forget where I heard it. I used it on my mother when I was a wee lad... she didnt approve)
Are you a guy? (when you want a stripper to go away)
Peaches, I wouldnt take you to the hospital. (when an ugly girl asks you out)
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Your momma is so stupid when told to makeup her mind she put lipstick on her forehead.
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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale it reads 222 damn fat get off squeak
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A most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace! By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face.
Love's Labour's Lost
William Shakespear
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If your brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough gas to power a piss ant’s motorcycle around a Cheerio.
You couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heal.
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Jesus Martha, your breath could knock a buzzard off a ****wagon.
-- George Carlin
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"If I wanted some comeback, I'd look on your moms lips."
Best ever. :D
__________________
(http://r1329776.hostultra.com/images/nachosig.jpg)
Misty tales and poems lost
All the bliss and beauty will be gone
Will my weary soul find release for a while
At the moment of death I will smile
It's the triumph of shame and disease
In the end Iliad
4,/JG 53 (http://bellsouthpwp.net/w/o/wotans/4JG53/
)
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Yomommasofatsqueakfelldownbro keherlegandgravycameout!
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xnacho ... i gotta ask cause its buggin the he** outta me and i been looking for like 3 weeks....
WHERE did you get the little nazi hitler smiley???!?!?!?!?
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Originally posted by JB73
xnacho ... i gotta ask cause its buggin the he** outta me and i been looking for like 3 weeks....
WHERE did you get the little nazi hitler smiley???!?!?!?!?
From the littel nazi hitler smilie store, of course!
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I remember holding a door open for a women once who brushed past saying "Don't think you have to open the door for me because I'm a lady"
I replied "I didn't do it because your a lady I did it because I'm a gentleman".
Perhaps you had to be there but it got a round of applause anyway.
TTFN
snafu
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snafu,....that is funny
JB73,,your Quote is from Cartman on Southpark
and zmy line....If you lookn for easy kills..find AWMAC:D
i still laff everytime i sree this..
"Stop swinging your purse and come down and Fight Space Monkey"
SAorry mac..i got fired..and my righjt hand is broke...dont play on comp much latly:(
love
BiGB
xoxo
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You may not recognize your mom when you get home, I shaved her back. - Sam Kineson.
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Originally posted by JB73
xnacho ... i gotta ask cause its buggin the he** outta me and i been looking for like 3 weeks....
WHERE did you get the little nazi hitler smiley???!?!?!?!?
I believe someon on college humour uses it. my friend sent it to me
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Originally posted by BGBMAW
snafu,....that is funny
JB73,,your Quote is from Cartman on Southpark
and zmy line....If you lookn for easy kills..find AWMAC:D
i still laff everytime i sree this..
"Stop swinging your purse and come down and Fight Space Monkey"
SAorry mac..i got fired..and my righjt hand is broke...dont play on comp much latly:(
Dammit BGB, that's MY line in AH!!!!!!!!!!!! Used to have it as a kill macro in Air Warrior.... LOL
love
BiGB
xoxo
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BGB, How'd ya get fired?
and was the broken hand the result of a tragic masturbation accident? :eek:
:D
sorry to hear this Bud.
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Whenever someone calls me a "p*ssy", I always relpy, "Hey, you are what you eat, dickhead!"
:)
I apoligize in advance for those sensitive eyes and morals I may have damaged with my typed statement, so sorry.
:rolleyes:
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This one has always been my favorite...
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, 'cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
impossible to shake once you smack the goods to her.
:D :D :D
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I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahhh...I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again...
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
This is a mean, ****ing cruel world & I want my nappy & medication right now!
Earth is full. Go home.
You look like ****. Is that the style now?
Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a neurotic squeak just like you.
Okay, okay, I take it back! Un**** you!
Yo mama's so fat, her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
And just how may I **** you over today?
Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
You! Off my planet!!
Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
Well, aren't we just a ray of ****ing sunshine?
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, & disorder---my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
The proctologist called, they found your head.
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The Best!
Disreali and Gladstone where arguing in the house of commons.. Gladstone yelled at Dis..
Your either going to die on the gallows or of a foul Disease.
Disreali responded...
That depends whether I embrace your mistress or your principles.
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Another...... about golf.... heard this said to someone who just hit tee shot..
Your golf game is like masterbation...
It may be fun for you but its disgusting for the rest of us to watch.
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why don't you go outside and play hide and go shreck yourself
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Hey, why don't you go play in the street!
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Go take your tricycle and ride it on the freeway.
You wouldn't know a cogent thought if it rose up and hit you.
You prove Darwin only had half the theory, you are de evolving.
Did you say something or was that the termites in your head belching?
For the current times and the non PC folks.
If you were a General even the French wouldn't surrender to you!
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Sir Winston Churchill:
Some Women in the UK to Winst: "If I was your wife I'd poison your tea"
Winston: "If you were my wife I'd drink it".
ShizOWNED.
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Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."
This exchange is sometimes attributed to Winston's good friend F.E. Smith, but in Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan's The Glitter and the Gold she writes that the exchange occurred at Blenheim when her son was host. See also the American edition of Martin Gilbert's In Search of Churchill (not in the British edition). In Nancy: The Life of Lady Astor, Christopher Sykes confirms Consuelo Balsan's account. "It sounds like an invention but is well authenticated. [Churchill] and the Astors were staying with Churchill's cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. Nancy and Churchill argued ferociously throughout the weekend."
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Originally posted by Syzygyone
Hey, why don't you go play in the street!
Or its companion "Go chase some headlights".
Cya Up!
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Oh.........yo girlfriend is so pretty! She's a cadillac WOMAN!
Heat in the Winter......and Shade in the Summer! :D
Thorns
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Insult: "You Suck!!!"
Reply: " Oh Yeah, You Swallow!!!"
Yo momma jokes...
Yo momma so fat she irons her clothes on the driveway..
Yo momma so fat when she falls down she's still standing..
Yo momma so fat I bought her a Malcom X t shirt and helicopters started landing on her back..
Yo mommas lips so big she can french kiss a moose..
Yo momma so fat her jeans have strech marks..
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If I wanted any lip from you I'd rattle my zipper.
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your moma is so fat her blood type is ragu
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Yo momma so fat that when she wears a read sweater outside,kids come runnin down the street yelling "COOL-AID!!"
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I'd slap your face, but **** splatters.
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Originally posted by Syzygyone
From the littel nazi hitler smilie store, of course!
http://www.littlehitlersmileystore.gov
Your momma so fat she uses a tree to unclug her toilet.
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"Go tell the chef this is low grade dog food! I've had better food at the ball game..."
"Hey babe, you must have been something before electricity... How'd you like to make 14 dollars the hard way?"
edit> forgot my favorite. "He called me a baboon, thinks I'm his wife."