Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: udet on May 09, 2003, 11:03:34 AM
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Last night was my 'Tucker Max' night. It started with a wine coller during dinner (lots of spicy indian food, we'll come back to that).
Following that, me and my friends went to a bar. First I had a Miller Lite. Then a Margarita. Then a Red Bull with Vodka, with a shot of 1800 before I finished it. Then more beer. Then a shot of Jagermeister. Then even more beer. Then two shots of 'Where the **** did I park my car'. I swear, that's what the bartender called it. Then a bottle of Corona, but I had to sneak up to the bar to get this one because my friends weren't letting me have any more drinks. Note that all this drinking occured in less than two hours.
Afterwards, it gets kinda blurry. I think my friends decided to take me out of there after I started calling an old women that was there 'sexy grandma', then shouting something (I don't remember what, but I think it had the word **** in it) to another guy that was almost as drunk as me. The trip to the car brings only fragemntary memories at best. In the car, I was put on the back seat. On the way home, I threw a tennis ball and some other stuff (don't remember what it was), out of the window. My friend locked my window afterwards.
In the parking lot at my apartment complex I fell and grabbed on to the front plate of a car, bending it badly. I actually want to find the owner and tell her about it, cause she's a cute redhead. I'll invite her out to make it up for it.
At home, my friends deposited me on my bed with an empty trash can to puke in if needed. However, I didn't do that. I puked in the bathtub. Three or four times. Puked lots of indian food and some nachos with cheese I had at the bar. This morning, I found spots on my tub where the acid in my stomach had cleaned my tub better than any cleaning product would.
Well, the good thing is today I am OK, only a little dizzy. My friends are awesome for having taken care of me :)
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Kids... a bunch of fricking lightweights they are.
MiniD
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maybe...I'm not an alkie like you :)
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Any military expereince udet? Its not about being an alci... its all about the binge. And experience. And learning when to stop.
MiniD
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MiniD, performance driving instructor, heavy metal expert, world's number one hockey fan, AND alcohol consumption coach. How do you do it all man?
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Ladies go crazy for the slurred speech.
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Man, that's every weekend for me.... except for that radish bellybutton wine cooler
-SW
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SOrry Udet but thats not even close to a TUCKER MAX story! but nice try! bet your heads pounding even if you took some CHASER.
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Originally posted by funkedup
MiniD, performance driving instructor, heavy metal expert, world's number one hockey fan, AND alcohol consumption coach. How do you do it all man?
lol...you crack me up Funked. Almost sig line material, but I have no beef with Mini D (except the fact that he won't admit that "Inconcievable" was lisped in the Princess Bride.)
udet...been there man, way too many times. Good luck with the redhead.;)
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Did you walk around a hotel wearing only swimwear and a body hair sweater?
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Here's the trick, Udet.... if you're going to drink, go with tequila... no margs, no limes, no salt, no fillers... just plain 100% blue agave.
No hangover.
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Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Here's the trick, Udet.... if you're going to drink, go with tequila... no margs, no limes, no salt, no fillers... just plain 100% blue agave.
No hangover.
hehe, I'm not an alkie like MiniD, so that would prolly kill me
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Originally posted by Mini D
Any military expereince udet? Its not about being an alci... its all about the binge. And experience. And learning when to stop.
MiniD
No military experience. My alcohol tolerance is average. ANd you're still an alkie . :D
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Hmmm... 10 years of military here... I think I had just one binge drinking session and that was in the first six months.
The trick (again) is to know your pace and stick to it. Drinking at someone else's pace is painful. :)
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Pah!
Lightweight.
my first binge (at an undisclosed yet illegal age) started with 6 cans of Skol (lager), a 2 litre bottle of Waddingtons (bitter), 1/2 a bottle of Leibfraumilsh (sp? - german white wine), a litre (just over 2 pints) of Strongbow (dry cider - not the wussy Yank kind, the fermented kind), 1/4 bottle of Scotch, 2 vodka's, 3 or 4 "cocktails" of Christ knows what, another 1/2 a litre of Tilley's cider (home made farm produce, about 30% vol) and finally some Albanian white wine I cant quite remember the name of.
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Yeah... I'm a lightweight... I don't much like being drunk but I do like maintaining a steady buzz...
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No not you, him.
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Originally posted by Swoop
Pah!
Lightweight.
I'm glad I'm a lightweight-makes getting drunk cheaper :)
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i estimate 11 drinks...thats pathetic...not as bad as some guys i know (went like that after 6'th shot of whiskey)
as for me i usually stop after my 8'th or 9'th shot...just enough to make everything happy...maybe
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Originally posted by Swoop
No not you, him.
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
But I am a lightweight! I am! I am! :D
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My last binge (last thursday) consisted of:
3 GoldShlager shots (43.5% alcohol)
3 Budweisers
2 Tequila shots (40% alcohol)
3 Black Labels on the rocks (40% alcohol)
4 Heinekens
2 unknown glowing green shots
Was pretty drunk when my friend and I met two strange goth girls. I have no idea how we ended up in their car (one of those expensive BMW suvs). I was in the front passenger seat next to the fat hag who was driving, and my friend was in the back seat fondling the one which looked pretty OK.
We ended up in some sleazy bar where punks, goths and other strange creatures of the night gather, thats when I began to regain my consciousness, so I ordered a round of "shots" of some sort of potion which glowed around black lights. So that pretty much took care of my consciousness problem, and I was back in business.
I have their phone numbers in my wallet but I dont want to see what they look like when I'm sober, it better stay as one of those happy fuzzy drunken memories.
Pretty standard night I'd say. I didnt end up almost drowning by some shore in the beach, or trying some strange drug, or with any kind of wounds or evidence of a fight or struggle.
udet if you ever swing by PR we'll have some binge'iscious parties. That applies to all of you except for SOB or MiniD
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Ya wanna avoid them Heineken's next time, nasty stuff.....
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Originally posted by Animal
My last binge (last thursday) consisted of:
3 GoldShlager shots (43.5% alcohol)
3 Budweisers
2 Tequila shots (40% alcohol)
3 Black Labels on the rocks (40% alcohol)
4 Heinekens
2 unknown glowing green shots
What? No polish vodka? I thought you liked it last time. :)
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Originally posted by Swoop
Ya wanna avoid them Heineken's next time, nasty stuff.....
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
No kidding... Heineken's is one of the most overrated beers, IMHO.
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lol :)
Absinthe is my chaser. thats all that needs to be said ;)
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Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Here's the trick, Udet.... if you're going to drink, go with tequila... no margs, no limes, no salt, no fillers... just plain 100% blue agave.
No hangover.
BS!! I know better!
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Originally posted by Animal
udet if you ever swing by PR we'll have some binge'iscious parties. That applies to all of you except for SOB or MiniD
Hell, Animal, if I ever come to PR you'll have to take me to some boozing parties. I'll get super drunk, hit on all of your cute little girlie friends and do my best to make a complete drunken prettythang out of myself until enough people get fed up with me and finally kick my butt and leave me in an alley to wake up the next morning and wonder what the hell happened the night before. Then, I'll come puke on your doorstep and ask you to cook me breakfast.
SOB
PS...Udet prolly drinks Zima with a lime twist.
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C'mon... who's got a better story.
Long ago in a college far far away. I tossed back a few 151 shots at a party. When I decided it was time to go home (walking distance) I told everyone I'd be fine and left. I had to hop a 4' chain link fence, which abutted a large patch of ivy. Somehow I did one of those kamikazi flips over the top of the fence, and landed flat on my back in the ivy.
That is where I woke up....... ever have snail trails (from snails) on yer body? ewwwwwwwwwwwww!
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My story is short and sweet.
Ice 101 (horrid stuff). About 3/4 of the bottle went down... a little more than that came up.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
BS!! I know better!
Okay... okay... a LIGHT hangover. :)
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Very early on in my drinking career...
Went over to a friend's place who was having a little party in his apt with about a dozen people. Brought my own bottle of JD, and drank most of that, along with the various mixed shots that one of the skanks at the party was making and in the midst of it took quite a few hits off of the bong at the steady encouragement of my friends (I'm not much of a smoker), and ended up hitting on the skank making the shots . Fortunately, my roomates were there to drive me home...we had to squeeze into the cab of my pickup since I drove us there, and I sat in-between them giving them directions to get back to our place (surely I could navigate better than they could!) while hitting on them as much as possible (they were chicks, so shyaddup :p). By the time we got back home, I had passed out cold...so, they just locked me in my pickup, set the alarm, and went inside. I had a nice suprise the next morning when I woke up in a daze and stumbled out of my truck and the siren started to blare! I nearly shat myself! :D
About two weeks later, I was pulling off my tonneu cover for some reason or another and found my bottle of JD with a couple of shots worth left in it. Seems I didn't want to leave my bounty of booze at the party, but needed to hide it from the cops in case we got pulled over. :)
SOB
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Originally posted by Mini D
Any military expereince udet? Its not about being an alci... its all about the binge. And experience. And learning when to stop.
Is that when the MPs' are dragging you away?:D
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bottle of bacardi rum and a sixpack....
works for me
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This site can give you what you need :
http://www.ivodka.com/vodkaguide/index.html
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Wooohooo! HRD, at $5/fifth, that's some good sh*t!
http://www.ivodka.com/vodkaguide/hrd.html
It's the plastic bottle that says quality! :D
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Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Okay... okay... a LIGHT hangover. :)
Is that the kind where it hurts to turn on the light?
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Man youd been alright if you didnt mix all that liqour.....Teqila and jagger...eeeeeewww.
Reminds me of when I tried to drink a 5th of gin and a 5th of thunderbird...It just dont work man!!!!
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I hope you learned your lesson Udet- Wine coolers are for chicks or feminine guys, and Red Bull is simply toejam in a can.
-SW
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It was the summer of '69, Three 15 year old friends at the Fox Hollow Folk festival, chaperoned by 21 year old married couple and other "adults". They got us drunk on screwdrivers. They did the responsible thing and removed us kids from the festival and took us back to the campground. I learned, for the first time, about puking in a tent, washing up in a trout stream, setting your pukey clothes on a rock ,the spins, not aspirating on your own vomit, shoveling puke with bare hands, how unattractive I would be to women for the rest of my drinking career and orange soda and vodka in a wineskin is not good drinking . Next day learned about hangovers and pain. Went down to the stream to retrieve my clothes, watch, and wallet that I remembered I had carefully placed on a rock. They were all right where I left them, under water on the rock with another rock on top of them.
In fact I learned nothing from all these "firsts" because they were driven from my mind by the sight of the very first real live naked woman I ever saw. I hadn't noticed them "bathing" in the stream until my friends came up behind me and I heard gasps from the guys. None of us were smart enough, old enough, brave enough, or sober enough to know what to do. So we sat down to watch, until the girls got uncomfortable and left. Which is worse, knowing you will probably never have another opportunity for true love or the pain of self-induced brain tumor?
It's all been an attempt to recapture that summer, with alcohol ever since.
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Originally posted by funkedup
MiniD, performance driving instructor, heavy metal expert, world's number one hockey fan, AND alcohol consumption coach. How do you do it all man?
Ah... you confuse me pointing out that you aren't either of the first three with me thinking I am. Typical no-cal egomaniac. I'm willing to admit I'm no expert there... you still seem to think you are cause you saw it done on T.V.
As far as alchohol consumption coach... nah... seems he had some there with him. I'm pointing out he is perhaps as big of a ***** as you when it comes to drinking. Well... maybe not that bad. Maybe he should become and FDB squeak just like you. You cheap drunks are handy to have around.
And Udet... no drinking story should ever start out with a whine cooler, then move on to a miller lite... then moving onto a margarita. That has "squeak slap me" written all over it. I mean... maybe a college freshman girl would start one like that... come to think of it...
"I had a whine cooler that these guys gave me... it was soooo goood. Then I tried a beer. I think it was a lite beer of some kind. It was kinda yucky so I asked the bartended to give me something that tasted better and he gave me something called a "margaritta". It was sooooo good too, but it made me feel kinda funny."
Yep.. classic college girl.
MiniD
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Originally posted by SOB
PS...Udet prolly drinks Zima with a lime twist.
eww Zima I hate Zima :eek:
I'm not ashamed to admit I am a lightweight.:cool:
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BTW...
Try surviving a hangover from a fifth of Zambuka some day. It will change your perspective on exactly what A) being really ****faced is like and B) being really hungover is like.
And... I happen to agree with Sandman on good Tequilla. If I drink it solo... it just doesn't hit me like vodka or whisky does. I refer back to witnesses at last year's AK reunion on that one. Didn't even get a hangover from that day. Odd.
MiniD
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Originally posted by Animal
Ladies go crazy for the slurred speech.
you're a genious!
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Everyone has had one of those Tucker Max nights .
I had just been appointed Manager of the 2nd largest Liquor Store in our 33 store chain. I had been with the company less than a year after selling my own store and was "The Golden One" it appeared. We were taking a Company sponsored trip to the Texas Package Store Association's annual convention in Houston. The Mecca of everything alcohol.
Everything was paid for, including airfare. While sitting in the terminal waiting on the 9am flight, I noticed a beautiful girl that had been a Tasting Model (hands out free samples of booze) at my store recently. She was to be a Model for a new Liqueur being introduced at the convention. Immediately I offered her the seat next to mine and we began the adventure together. Thank God and Herb Kelleher that Southwest Airlines did not assign seats.
On the flight down we were treated with champagne and strawberries compliments of my company's CEO. They did remind us that it would be a long day and to pace ourselves, we were representing our Company...silly mortals. Upon arrival we were scurried to the Hotel and I parted company with my next ex-wife as she went to her booth and I began trolling the Hospitality Suites.
The order was something like Anheiser Busch, Coors, Miller,Scheflein & Sommerset, UDV, Republic Beverage, Never heard of you but I'll drink your booze,ect. I had at least 6 drinks the first hour and add 10% to each following hours total. By noon I had a mild stupor in the works, but now the main floor was open for the show. Let the Games begin!
The main floor had over 300 booths, most of them giving away free booze. Miniatures, cocktails, free samples by the truckload.By 7pm I had visited each of them at least 3 times and I AM SPARTICUS! After the 2nd visit to the booth my next ex-wife was working I had made a permanent impression after she failed to pay 100% complete attention to me and belive this was the downfall to our nuptuals. The 3rd visit ended with the words slut and c**t mixed in the conversation, but I managed to snag yet more freebies.
The main floor closed and the Casino party began. It was all play money, but you got to bid on items at the ending auction. Not sure how much I won, but I was tearing up the Craps Table and met a cute (mind you this is thru several sets of booze goggles) girl. We left the party and adjorned to her room. It was either the peeing in her closet or puking on her clothes hanging in said closet that prompted my exit from her company. I belive the "C" word was used in my epilogue.
My timing was impecable, several other Managers were franticly looking for me. Our shuttle to the Airport was about to leave...All Aboard! I was lucky enough to have the last remaining seat...next to the VP of Sales, a real weasel of a guy. We arrive at the Airport and have about 30 min before we leave, just enought time to hit the Bar and blackout!
(This was told to me by independant sources, and I belive it to be true) I THOUGHT I lost my ticket. We searched me, my Bag O' Freebies from the show, everyones Bag O' Freebies...no ticket."I put it on my F***ING bag so I wouldn't lose it!"
As the CEO was heading to buy me ANOTHER ticket, I produced mine from my pocket (I coulda sworn it wasn't there). Boarding Call comes and a Southwest Airlines Nazi refuses to let me on the plane. Some sort of negotiations ensue and I am eventually allowed onboard but the Nazi's refuse me drink service.
(I regain memory at this point) We land in Dallas and are shuttled back to Company Headquarters. Several Supervisors help me to my car but want my keys. "I'm F***ING FINE, OK?" is not the answer they are looking for and I eventually give in and let one of them drive me home. Forgot to mention to them I live 2 hours away from Dallas. He gets me home and calls his wife to come get him. The dizzy biatch gets lost and I have to get back out of bed to show him the store she is calling from. I tell him I'm fine now, really appreciate what he did for me and will repay him someday. As I pull out of the store I tag a fire hydrant. They leave.I got my car unattached from the fire hydrant and head home.
I worked there for 3 years after that and nothing was ever said to me about it. But I was no longer "The Golden One". Moral of the story? Don't mix beer, vodka, kaulah, chardonnay, hot damn, coconut rum, gin, jello shots, port, tequila, baileys, merlot, grand marnier,rum, bourbon, jaegermeister, malt liquor, cabernet, scotch, brandy, mescal and schnapps without eating.
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Originally posted by jamusta
Man youd been alright if you didnt mix all that liqour.....Teqila and jagger...eeeeeewww.
Reminds me of when I tried to drink a 5th of gin and a 5th of thunderbird...It just dont work man!!!!
Actually, it was also a little bit of an experiment to see if the combination would make me puke, like it did to my friend. I guess it did :)
btw, I drink winecoolers like sodas, I don't even consider them alcohol. I mentioned it only because it might have added a wee bit of 'flavor' to the mixture of alcoholic drinks that got me to throw up...a lot.
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I took a **** in my dirty clothes hamper on my 21st birthday before I was driven to the hospital. Does that count as drunk?
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Piss
-edit- I guess they don't filter out Piss, so it must be the other one. Ewwww. I think you were drunk! :D
SOB
PS...Your new nickname is "Spud"
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The best cure for the barracks hangover: in the morning have your budy down the hall stop by and give you an IV bolus of a liter of Ringer's lactate .
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
I hope you learned your lesson Udet- Wine coolers are for chicks or feminine guys, and Red Bull is simply toejam in a can.
-SW
Wine cooler ?
What is this abomination ?
eeekkkk :eek: :eek:
(except if you use it for some white wine)
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Originally posted by Mini D
BTW...Try surviving a hangover from a fifth of Zambuka some day. It will change your perspective on exactly what A) being really ****faced is like and B) being really hungover is like.
MiniD
Black Zambuka...
After work a few of us hit the pub. It all started so innocently when someone gave me a shot of the balck death...I bought two friends one who arrived at the bar a few minutes later. Instead of simply being grateful these guys got annoyed. It was against their "code" to start doing shots so early in the evening, unbeknownst to me. The next thing I know I'm involved in a "double shot" contest with both of them.
At 9.30pm my roomate and I left the bar to get some dinner. We tossed a coin to see who would buy the food..and who would cook it. I had to buy. I don't remember much of what happened in the supermarket or how I got home, but I had two steaks, some potatoes and some corn.
He cooked we ate.
About an hour after dinner I passed out on the couch. An hour after that I woke up to puke for the first time. Every half-hour after that I made trip after trip back to worship the porcelin God. I must have torn the lining in my stomach because there was blood mixed in with yellow bile in the toilet at about 8.00am the next day.
I didn't feel better until the day after that. I cannot even smell Zambuka now without feeling sick.
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Curval...
Next time have the zambuka AFTER a big dinner, never before on empty sack :D
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Originally posted by Saurdaukar
I took a **** in my dirty clothes hamper on my 21st birthday before I was driven to the hospital. Does that count as drunk?
Why yes, I believe it does.
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Originally posted by Nilsen10
Curval...
Next time have the zambuka AFTER a big dinner, never before on empty sack :D
Trust me on this...there will be no next time.
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At one of our AH Squadron reunions, I decided to take on Jaggermeister after belting down quite a few screwdrivers.
I did well in the early rounds, knocking down about 7 shots.
However, it got ugly in a hurry thereafter.
Jaggermeister won by knockout.
There will be no rematch.
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on the way to a party once, 18 of us (we were going in a limo) drank 22 bottles of the big champagne bottles (magnum sized?) before we even got to the party.
As you can imagine - i cannot remember much of that night :)
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funny avatar furball :D
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Originally posted by Furball
on the way to a party once, 18 of us (we were going in a limo) drank 22 bottles of the big champagne bottles (magnum sized?) before we even got to the party.
As you can imagine - i cannot remember much of that night :)
Who did that avatar? thats one of the coolest gifs I have ever seen
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Keerist! Tucker Max is a poser! Hell, I'll tell you stories of my mispent youth that verge on Hunter S. Thompson.
Minus the wiminz.
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Originally posted by DmdMac
Keerist! Tucker Max is a poser! Hell, I'll tell you stories of my mispent youth that verge on Hunter S. Thompson.
Minus the wiminz.
Let me amend that. Tucker Max is a ****ing poser!
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im not too sure to be honest. It was an animation on http://www.stickdeath.com that i spent ages resizing/adjusting quality so it would fit as an avatar
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Once passed a lit joint to a cop sitting next to me at a Jethro Tull concert.
I was really really drunk cause I shoulda known he was a cop.... only black guy in the crowd of 50,000.
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so did he take a hit?
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Once passed a lit joint to a cop sitting next to me at a Jethro Tull concert.
I was really really drunk cause I shoulda known he was a cop.... only black guy in the crowd of 50,000.
LMAO Midnight....
I'll tell you a story. I was a cop at the time, and was at a Metallica concert with my wife. I was currently working in the Vice unit, and looked a bit scruffy to say the least.
Some guy walks up to me and says "Hey man, you got any smoke?". I said no, and he walked away. The guy standing next to us said "Man, funny how people think the scruffy lookin dudes are always holding the weed." and proceeded to show me a dime bag he had in his pocket. I then showed him my badge and said "Funny how people always think the scruffy dudes aren't cops."
The look on his face was priceless!
Afterwards I patted him on the back, took my wife's hand and walked away.
Just one of those moments that had me laughing for days...
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He didn't take a hit, he flashed his badge (LAPD) and made sure I wasn't carrying any more. IIRC he just asked me, I had about 12 joints in my sock, but I played dumb. He was surrounded by revelers, so he just warned me and moved on.
Someday children I'll tell you about the riot I started at a Rod Stewart concert... :)
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Someday children I'll tell you about the riot I started at a Rod Stewart concert... :)
What happened? Rod wouldn't dedicate "do ya think I'm sexy" to you?
-Sik
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Each time Bacardi 151 and I become one I seem to always pick up fat chicks,with my Monty Python " I am the king of the Britons" skit. Lucky for me my buds are around to steer me away from a traumatic situation. Even though most of the night becomes like one of those Alien abduction stories where people lose trac of time and space.
Animal , you need to tell me where these goth girls hang out,maybe after a few shots of Bacardi manufactured Jet fuel death I can become witty enough to get my mojo going :D
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Originally posted by Sikboy
What happened? Rod wouldn't dedicate "do ya think I'm sexy" to you?
-Sik
bastage!
This was pre-disco Rod.
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Originally posted by Octavius
My story is short and sweet.
Ice 101 (horrid stuff). About 3/4 of the bottle went down... a little more than that came up.
Amen, That stuff is nasty...
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Started out meeting a friend and her then boyfriend Daren whom i had not met, with my GF. We met a Champions Billiards and promptly started drinking, the ladies were the DD's. It was the first time daren and I hung out and boy we had a blast...
3 Tall Long Islands
3 Jameson's shots
6 Tequlia shots
2 Jack and Cokes
Finished off with an Irish coffee,
I was still drunk when I woke up for work in the morning and decided to stay home, LOL...
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Time: 1973
Place: Holiday Inn Niles, Illinois
Who: 17 year old Psyco
While in our Senior year in HS our group of football players (captain (me) running backs etcetera) used to rent Holiday Inn rooms and invite cheerleaders over to party (drinking age 21). Normally we'd rent the room and bring the beer when we arrived for the party, not this time. We cleaned out all the ice machines and the tub was filled with beer and ice. We had 2 hours till girls show, and for some unknown reason Paul (rest his sole) the kicker (weinie frame) and me (6'4"-275 in grade 12) locked ourselves in the bathroom with the beer. We proceded to drink 34 beer each (cans) and Paul ended up sleeping on the floor in the closet and I ended up partying with the team and cheerleaders. When I party now I can maintain focus and hold conversations after a 40 oz of Canadian whiskey, but not as often as when I was a 20+ year old. Probably my 6'4" 350 now at 47 helps dilute the spirits......
Psyco