Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: muckmaw on May 13, 2003, 01:47:12 PM
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Now before you whip out your Credit Card, Dowding :D
this is intended for women. (No, I'm never going to let you live that post down!)
I recently made a trip to Atlantis, Paradise Island.
The amount of wealth concentrated in this area is disgusting, in a strangely exciting way.
Anyway, while at the casino, I noticed numerous old men with super-model quality women. Most were professional gold diggers, while at least 2 were "Pros". My wife said she should pimp me out to an old woman for 10 grand!
So here's my thought. If men can do it, why can't women?
There must be wealthy older women willing to pay for the companionship of a 32 year old, college educated man, with a full head of hair, and 32 teeth. Don't get me wrong, I'm no (insert name of handsome man here, Dowd) but I'm no Quasimoto either. I see it as a "Pretty woman" type situation, only with a noodle.
My wife thinks it's a great idea, but not for less than $10,000 a night. I think that might be a tad pricey.
What's the going rate for Hetero- Sexual man potatos these day?
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Good lord... you mean I can start charging?
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on the average, what 5 minutes?
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I think for women, it would be more about the companionship than sex. My guess would be dinner, dancing, or a play, etc.
Of course, some would just want the "business".
The only thing I'm really having a problem with is the thought of giving oral to a 90 year old woman. :eek:
I'll need to learn how to hold back the gag reflex.
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I considered it....until I saw my potential "clients". $10,000 isn't enough man, trust me.
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Where did you find "Potential clients"?
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I just barfed up my egg salad sandwich
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Originally posted by Sixpence
I just barfed up my egg salad sandwich
At least it wasn't a tossed salad :)
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Originally posted by muckmaw
Where did you find "Potential clients"?
I live on an island inhabited by a whole bunch of rich, bored, older women. You can't swing a dead cat here without hitting a potential client....and generally the difference between the dead cat and the women is marginal at best. :)
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Originally posted by Curval
I live on an island inhabited by a whole bunch of rich, bored, older women. You can't swing a dead cat here without hitting a potential client....and generally the difference between the dead cat and the women is marginal at best. :)
So they both smell like Tuna...Check.
What else? :D
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Originally posted by muckmaw
What's the going rate for Hetero- Sexual man potatos these day?
That depends. What's your bench weight and 40-yard time?
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Shhhhaddup or Rip'll be in here.....
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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Bench weight is 220 lbs.
When I WAS running, I could do a mile in 7 minutes.
I never tried a 40 yard dash.
You know, I took the time to answer those questions seriously, before I thought about it....
prettythang!!!:D
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You going to the Con Muck? I gotta buy you a few beers.
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I was thinking of charging more than a few beers , Curv.:D
I actually can't go to the Con...Lazs and Dowding would probably pummel me.
I'm starting to think we share the same brain, Curv.
Yesterday, Hedonism, today Man-whoring....
Scary, isn't it?
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Yes, there is a business for it, and yes, the women who pay for it are NASTY
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It is scary.
Hmmm...how can I say this right...maybe our wives would get along too?:D
(kidding)
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ROFLMAD!
:D
Didnt you guys see that comedy movie, its about this topic but i cant remember the name! not that old...
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stay away from the man whoring, its a path that only leads to lonelyness........and egads thats nasty.
how long ya been married muck?
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it's getting too weird for me ....
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Deuce Bigalo
Male Gigelo
I'll save you a lot of nightmares right now muck, for $100 I'll remove your eyeballs and for $80 a night I'll be sure to keep you thoroughly liqoured up for the task at hand.
-SW
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you can start practicing with inflatable dolls.
Just deflate them a bit and rub iodine all over and...
uh..why are you guys looking at me like that? :p :eek: :confused:
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You are a dirty bastard, muckmaw. First Club Hedonism and now this.
Saggy, worn out old women is your 'thang' eh? :D
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This isn't the movies....there are reasons certain women don't mind paying and indeed have to pay for "companionship".
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It's all pink on the inside.
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LOL!!!! DUNE!!! :D
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Originally posted by Dune
It's all pink on the inside.
I'm just concerned about what may come crawling out!
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"I'm just concerned about what may come crawling out!"
DUST
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I've been married almost 4 years.
You guys...well, you really are sick.
I especially like the pimp who'd be willing to take my eyes out for $100. Seems reasonable.
My wife is cool with the idea. But then again, all wives are cool, until you come home from your first "Job".
Where the hell is the Con anyway, I've gotta bring my wife and hook her up with Curvs.
:D
A little Bi show will knock the nerd right outta that place.:D
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nah, the bi show quickly loses its fun......it ends up being more work then anything else.
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I hearby claim this thread to be INSANE
LOL!!! :D
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Can I bring my wife to the Con or not?(http://ilovemardigras.com/images/club5m.jpg)
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Ok this thread is normal once again. Carry on!
(daaaaaamn muck! :D )
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If you want to be a Shaolin-Master Man-potato you must first work on a squid boat for 6 months.
Then you will be an undefeatable manpotato!
QUAH!
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OMFG...damn muck, nice.
Unfortunately I won't be bringing my wife to the Con..instead I am bringing a 92 year old veteran who flew everything from Swordfish to TBMs off British carriers.
Maybe next year. ;)
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muckmaw: My wife thinks it's a great idea, but not for less than $10,000 a night. I think that might be a tad pricey.
You are making a basic economic mistake assuming your productivity is the same as that of a woman.
With a little astroglide a woman can provide sex to a whole bunch of ugly old men for hours.
How many times in a row can you satisfy an ugly old woman without resorting to mechanical means? Once if you are lucky.
Besides, even outside sex women potatos have great aesthetic/decorative value. An old man with a young woman draped around his arm looks good and distinguished while an old woman with a stud on her looks even older and uglier and miserable.
In short, you may score few bucks here and there but there is just no economic conditions for you to make as much as a woman potato does.
miko
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Originally posted by miko2d
You are making a basic economic mistake assuming your productivity is the same as that of a woman.
LMAO Miko
I always enjoy your responses sir. Hit the nail right on the head.
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Originally posted by muckmaw
Bench weight is 220 lbs.
When I WAS running, I could do a mile in 7 minutes.
I never tried a 40 yard dash.
Ok, let's see here...
College degree = +$5,000
Decent Bench = +$450
Above average mile time = +$200 (pro-rated since split time no longer current)
Decent typist = +$500
One-shot wonder = -$12,000
I guess the saying is true; sperm is cheap!
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I would pay your bar bill for your wife muck! (EDIT : strange sentance lol!)
:D
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I don't think you want to do that Maniac...that girl can drink.
And no matter how much I've seen her put away, she never slurs, never stumbles, and not once in 10 years have I seen her get sick from drinking.
Hell, she was doing shots with her Texas girlfriends at my wedding...I think she stopped at 8 shots. Never missed a step.
Shessh, you want a party? Get my wife, and her 2 best friends (2 hot texas blondes) and take 'em to New Orleans. :eek:
They went 4 years ago and the stories are just beggning to filter in now...something about statute of limitations.:D
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Hey muck - my girl says we can trade for a night if youre cute, interested? :D
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Your girl says you can trade yourself for Muck's wife for the night?
That's double gay!
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Settle down Dowding, you know my homosexual urges are reserved only for your sweet behind.
Muck's broad, however, I wouldnt mind seeing from a few different angles. Variety is the spice of life, afterall. :D
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I think that's called a bait and switch argument, incorporating over-exaggeration as cover. :D
Tell us more about these urges to get with a fellow AHer?
Muckmaw - watch out for an ugly looking chick with stubble in your new job. I know that might be difficult considering your normal clientel, but this one will look more smurfy than usual. Just make sure you make the drinks. I hear horse tranquiliser has a truly nasty hangover.
Go get 'im Saur! :D
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Is Curval running around saying we're swingers again?
:D
Honestly, I'd let her party, but she says she's not interested in other men.(SO SHE SAYS!!) She's on this "girl" thing lately, which I wholeheartedly endorse and encourage. She's just so damn picky with women.
*shrugs*
Personally, I'm banned from strange. Unless of course, they are non-threatening, and a paying customer, neaither of which would describe the Mrs. Saur.
As for different angles...I've got tons of those. I mean who does not have pics of their wife from various angles?
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I'd be my best client. <- Looks at right hand.
MiniD
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Originally posted by muckmaw
Is Curval running around saying we're swingers again?
:D
As for different angles...I've got tons of those. I mean who does not have pics of their wife from various angles?
Hey...you made that perfectly clear above man. The recent invitations are just "jonny come latelies" who didn't read the whole thread.;)
As for the pics...I had lots but then I started having computer troubles. Knowing that my buddy would be the one checking out my machine I got rid of all pictures...which was a smart move. He admitted afterwards that it was the first thing he checked for...and he had no time for any recovery of files. He is a perv like us.;)
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Originally posted by Curval
Hey...you made that perfectly clear above man. The recent invitations are just "jonny come latelies" who didn't read the whole thread.;)
As for the pics...I had lots but then I started having computer troubles. Knowing that my buddy would be the one checking out my machine I got rid of all pictures...which was a smart move. He admitted afterwards that it was the first thing he checked for...and he had no time for any recovery of files. He is a perv like us.;)
Your not much of a friend, Curv. So the guy has a little peek..whats the harm?:D
Me, I would have burned 'em onto a CD...you never know when your gonna need 'em. Those things are like gold!
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muck you are so f*cked up man :) keep it up!
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Originally posted by muckmaw
Can I bring my wife to the Con or not?(http://ilovemardigras.com/images/club5m.jpg)
Only if you buy her a tit job and a paper bag to wear over her head.
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That was uncalled for man. Someone piss on your cornflakes today?
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Its OK... he's in France this week.
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Originally posted by Frogm4n
Only if you buy her a tit job and a paper bag to wear over her head.
Frog, you putrid little slug, that kind of crap ought to get your prettythang banned. But, I guess your avator and profile say it all about you, don't they? Go crawl back into your slimely hole!
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Frog probably just went a little light on the prozac. Probably needs to up the dose...
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don't think you want to do that Maniac...that girl can drink.
Hehe i knew my comment came out wrong! I meant i would pick up your bar bill for your wife :D
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Originally posted by Frogm4n
Only if you buy her a tit job and a paper bag to wear over her head.
*laughs*
It's so easy to slam a man's wife over the internet, isn't it?
If you're trolling for a reaction, you'll not find one here, friend.
I know what I have waiting for me at home every day. If she's not your type... *shrugs*.
You are certainly in the minority.
Mini-D, Syz, Grim, Curv...thanks for the back up.
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Muck you up for some 'tag-team' action ;) ?
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Where the hell is the Con anyway, I've gotta bring my wife and hook her up with Curvs.
A little Bi show will knock the nerd right outta that place.
I laughed so hard the whole office had to come see what i was reading!:D
Good ****.
Maybe ill pick me up a Bi girl just for the CON.
lol
Box
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Frog, most of what you say can be taken as lighthearted and/or simply stupid... but that is just mean (and untrue :D ).
That was just in really bad taste... hopefully Skuzzy will make an example of it. :rolleyes:
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Frog is soooo wrong. Give him a break, he's actually in France on vacation, (for real) and Skernsk instigated his reply for a password to the new FGB BBS.
Still, that's got Ms. Pabst Blue Ribbon written all over it. Smooth, easy, belly enhancing, and cheap.
Poor Curval, he don’t know whether to attack Frog, me, wind his watch, or book a cruise with Muck.
I love the BBS.
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Please excuse Frog. We were forced to recruit him by our squad’s new court-ordered Department of Equity and Diversity.
He falls in the category of “his mother says he’s special”.
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We considered inviting him to join TFC on the shortbus, but decided he wasnt actually retarded, just a moron. (fine line, but its a science)
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Originally posted by Creamo
Poor Curval, he don’t know whether to attack Frog, me, wind his watch, or book a cruise with Muck.
lol... I thought we had come to an understanding Creamo, I don't attack ya anymore.
I'll take the cruise.
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Fair enough, but man, I'd argue with Frog myself....
Sweaty leather flapjacks, yikes.
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Heh! I dunno. Frog may have been a little harsh, but I am more offended by the pasty middle-aged swinger wannabes that are jockeying for position in the gangbang line here. I mean, comeon, get a yahoo group or something!
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Frog's just pissed that they don't have Blue's Clues on TV in France.
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Originally posted by Lance
Heh! I dunno. Frog may have been a little harsh, but I am more offended by the pasty middle-aged swinger wannabes that are jockeying for position in the gangbang line here. I mean, comeon, get a yahoo group or something!
Who's swinging anything? Sure I may "say" I'd like to pull a switch for Muck's girl... but what I really intended on doing was drugging them both - having my way with Mrs. Muck, and throwing the MAW to Dowding.
PS: Not quite middle aged yet, thank you, just applying what I learned in college is all :D ...a little pasty though... damn European blood...
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Muck- You have a nice looking wife there. ;) If only I could go to Con this year.... Sigh, sorry guys. ;)
___________________________
-kesolei
JG-3 'Udet'
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Heh! I dunno. Frog may have been a little harsh, but I am more offended by the pasty middle-aged swinger wannabes that are jockeying for position in the gangbang line here. I mean, comeon, get a yahoo group or something!
lol! :D True.
And Saur, we know what you meant. You are a filthy animal and a menace to man and beast. To you, every hole's a goal. :D
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dude they dont need blues clues here in france. they have dubbed tellitubbies.
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Where are you in France ?
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Originally posted by straffo
Where are you in France ?
We need to know so we don't waste any fuel on the B-2 bombers we're sending over there to kick you sorry butt for going to France in the first place!
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....never mind.
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Frogman go to the friggin Bois de Boulogne and have some risky sex or something.
Paris in the Spring BABY!
French chicks will do ANYTHING except shave their armpits.
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I think you could eat a dead cat, if you had too...
NUTTZ
Originally posted by Curval
I live on an island inhabited by a whole bunch of rich, bored, older women. You can't swing a dead cat here without hitting a potential client....and generally the difference between the dead cat and the women is marginal at best. :)
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Originally posted by Lance
Heh! I dunno. Frog may have been a little harsh, but I am more offended by the pasty middle-aged swinger wannabes that are jockeying for position in the gangbang line here. I mean, comeon, get a yahoo group or something!
lalalalalalalalala...I know you are but what am I?....lalallaallaallalalala...I know you are, but what am I?....lalalalala............... ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. .......
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So, the boob job is definitely out then? I bet Froggy'd volunteer to bring the paper bag if you sprung for the jug upgrade!
SOB
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This is silly.
Muck... drop her off at the FDB HQ. We'll all take her for a spin and let you know if she really does need a bag and a boob job. Its so hard to tell from pictures where she has her clothes on.
MiniD
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stop stop....
please stop them gordo
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Gordo is dead, and there isnt a damn thing you can do about it.
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Originally posted by Saurdaukar
Gordo is dead, and there isnt a damn thing you can do about it.
Tha'ts sad news. When and how did he die?
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Who the **** is Gordo?
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We should pause for a moment of silence to mourn the passing of Gordo, whoever the **** he is.
Gordo, we would remember you fondly, if we could remember you at all.
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Im sure Gordo would appreciate this public outpooring of sympathy... sniff... had he been alive to see it.
Unfourtunately, Gordo was killed not long ago in a traumatic carpet vacuuming accident. Details are sketchy at this point but we're fairly certain that his death was quick and clean.
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lol quick and clean!
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It took us awhile to actually realize he was dead. We thought he was just passed out on the couch with the television on as usual. Finally, someone notic…
notic…
(I’m sorry, this is hard)...
…they noticed that that the weekly beer supply was lasting 10 days and we knew …