Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: GrimCO on June 10, 2003, 08:32:38 AM
-
Anyone have any funny stories about revenge at work or something similar?
Here's one for ya from when I was a police officer...
I responded to a "vandalism" call at a food distribution warehouse... I spoke to the complainant who told me that he had just fired an employee a few hours before, and that the employee had exacted revenge. When I asked how, he refused to tell me. He said he had to "show" me.
I followed him to his office and when we walked through the door, I smelled the distinct odor of feces.
Apparently, the disgruntled ex-employee had climbed on top of his boss's desk and and took a dump all over it. Judging from the somewhat less than solid texture of the fecal matter, I'd say the guy either had a stomach virus or went to the trouble of downing a pint or two of ExLax prior to doing the deed.
At any rate the boss was livid and demanded I do something about it. Since no one actually witnessed the devious dumper in action, I could do nothing. It was the perfect crime.
-
Couldn't you've scooped up a sample and done a DNA test?
:D
-
My wife is an administrative type a a very large highschool. Recently, a teacher who had been informed of a decsion to not be retained the next year, apparently got even by failing to turn in ANY GRADES for ANY OF THE FIVE CLASSES that teacher taught. No grade book, no records of any kind, just cleaned out the office and disappeared.
Put about 150 highschool kids in a real lurch! Real jerk!
-
In Tooling, this guy had his icecream in the community fridge...someone on 2nd shift was heisting his icecream now and then, so he put a big sign on his bucket of icecream saying "Private property, keep out". Someone took that bucket on 2nd shift and crapped in it, placed it back into the freezer. Needless to say, the icecream "type" was rocky road...I ****t you not. :)
Funny, but I never felt comfortable knowing that someone I did not know but worked with..was crapping in icecream.... :eek: Kinda scarey, really...
-
Every single day I do a "walkaround" of my car before i leave work.
More than once a week a fellow employee drives away from work with a sign on their car that advertises love for sheep, llamas, little boys etc.
I think the best time was when one of the guys showed up the NEXT DAY with one such sign still affixed to his front bumper.
:D
-
Originally posted by loser
Every single day I do a "walkaround" of my car before i leave work.
More than once a week a fellow employee drives away from work with a sign on their car that advertises love for sheep, llamas, little boys etc.
I think the best time was when one of the guys showed up the NEXT DAY with one such sign still affixed to his front bumper.
:D
That was a common occurance in the tooling shop I worked in, we had these little electric carts for hauling stuff around...walk arounds were mandantory on these carts prior to traveling around the plant. We used to love the new guys..."Here, go pick up some material over at such and such place...no, I insist, go ahead, enjoy the drive!"
-
Well there was the platoon comander that walked arround in nice gore tex danner boots but when one of the troops pulled out the exact same boots told the troops that they were not allowed to wear them.
I was his driver for that excercise and some how one of the boots disappeared of the back of our jeep. He told me to go find the boot and not to come back without it. So I drove into camp(30 miles) had a burger and bought some stuff at the PX, called home and then drove back to dissappoint him.
He asked me to make him coffee once. I heated it up so much in the alumninum canteen mug that it burnt his hands right through the handle. (think he would be suspicios when I was wearing my combat gloves and liners when I handed it to him.)
There were all the times that I let him get lost.
I just about managed to get him beat up by the troops a few times. But cooler heads prevailed.
We pullled up to an O-group once and some poor sap was digging a shell scrape beside his vehicle. Platoon comander told me imediatly that I had to dig a shell scrape beside our verhicle. I had been up for a day or so and was not too happy about this. But I dug it, right beside his door of the jeep and cammed it really well and piled the dirt on my side of the jeep. 2 hours later when he walked up to the jeep in the dark saw the pile of dirt on my side. Told me I had 2 minutes to fill it in and he wanted it deeper next time. And then walked arround his side of the jeep and fell into the hole. Never occured to me to take a dump in it..but in hind sight....
As a software consultant I dont get to interact with such interesting people as I met in the infantry.
-
I remember the story of the lover's tiff on the shop floor that ended with a guy taking this girl's purse from her hand-bag and adding a little surprise before returning it to the bag.
She goes to the canteen with her bag, removes the purse and opens it... to find a shiny new turd nestling amongst the coins.
-
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/mass/neptune/index_1.html?sect=19
Not at all funny, but I just happened to be reading this in another window.
-Sik
-
Originally posted by Sikboy
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/mass/neptune/index_1.html?sect=19
Not at all funny, but I just happened to be reading this in another window.
-Sik
Some very disturbing stories in there.
-
back when I first started out I worked at the shipyard in portland. I was concidered by some to be the king of getting even.
here's a few of my favorites.
one guy kept stealing my ventilation hose (12" plastic tube) that brings fresh air into the tank you're working in. anyway he kept moving into his area to keep him cool, meenwhile me and the guys I worked with had no clean air to breath. I cut a couple slits in the hose and dumped a full bottle of blue marking chalk (for a chalk line) into the tube. it looked like a 10' long blue torpedo as it sped through the line. he was blue'ish for a couple weeks.
another guy had been giving me some crap for a couple weeks. so one day on the way back from lunch I gathered all the left over fries from the guys I ate lunch with, tore them up small and dumped them on the roof of his car as I walked by. every seagul in portland landed on his car for a fry and a crap. at the end of the day there was no evedence just a new grey green paintjob
-
Grim, sounds like that employer needs one of these:
(http://www.allfunpix.com/humor/pics/safety_tip4.jpg)
-
I'm going to use this thread as a way to figure out how to get back at someone at the office.
About 8 months ago I was working late. I was standing beside the printer waiting for some reports to print when our student auditor walked past. She is a great girl and organises all of the fun stuff at the office..parties, boating trips, bowling nights etc etc.
Anyway, as she walked past me she playfully poked me in the side. Unbeknownst to her I was in the process of letting go with a silent stalker...there were a couple of others in the office and I wanted the fart to be quiet. But, when she poked me in the side I clenched...my silent stalker turned into a...umm...rather loud exhibitionist.
There was absolutely no-one else to blame and no way to disguise what had just happened. The girl burst into hysterics and was still laughing when I left the office about a half hour later. She was on her way out too...to a get together with all the girls in our audit department.
She was still laughing when she arrived at the gathering, immediately prompting the question "What is so funny?" She told them....the little &^$%$^%^%#^%.
At the office Christmas party my secret Santa present was a can of baked beans, a roll of toilet paper, a scented candle and a can of air freshener. This prompted a whole pile of "What is the significance of those gifts?" questions. Needless to say everyone was then informed of my accidental flatulence.
SO....how do I get her back? It can't be cruel or disgusting in any way. It needs to be subtle, clever and something that makes me look good, not an prettythanghole.
Please advise.
-
Got my brother in law pretty good at work one day.
We were developing a new digital amplifier for car-audio. He was the accountant of our fledgeling company, but would come to the back of the shop nearly every day and make it his business to "test" the amplifiers. We really couldn't say anything because we were all partners in the venture. At any rate, he wound up destroying half of our prototype amplifiers by running them under excessive loads. Each of these amps was hand built by me, and took me about two days each to build. The engineer was also pissed at him, so we decided to "cure" him of his evil ways.
I took a soda can and filled it halfway to the top with Triple F blackpowder rifle gunpowder. I then took a thin piece of copper wire and shorted out an extension cord with it, and placed the wire inside of the can. I stuck the can against the wall under the test bench which consisted of a 4x8 sheet of plywood on top of 2 55 gallon steel drums.
As usual, my brother in law sauntered to the back of the shop, sat in a rolling chair, and commenced destroying the amplifiers in puffs of smoke. Another employee who was completely unaware of the prank came back to use the bathroom. I said "Hey John, would you mind plugging that extension cord in for me?" He says "sure", squats down, and plugs the thing in.
BEHOLD THE FIRE AND SMOKE COMETH! Flames about 8 feet high start shooting up from the concrete wall behind the test bench, along with an ungodly amount of smoke. My brother in law, thinking he was the cause of the conflagration starts pulling every wire he can find to stop the hell he thinks he created. This lasted about two seconds until he completely disappeared in the cloud of smoke. His will to stop the fire succombed to his survival instincts and he decided to abandon ship. He emerged from the smoke peddling backwards in that rolling chair as fast as he could, arms and legs flailing.
The guy who plugged the extension cord in, then made the profound statement: "Hey, something blew up".
After he saw us laughing, he realized he'd been had and starting chasing me around the shop yelling explatives. To this day I can't bring that incident up without him suddenly deciding to kill me.
But he didn't mess around in the back of the shop anymore, and the company has become a great success.
-
Originally posted by Curval
I'm going to use this thread as a way to figure out how to get back at someone at the office.
About 8 months ago I was working late. I was standing beside the printer waiting for some reports to print when our student auditor walked past. She is a great girl and organises all of the fun stuff at the office..parties, boating trips, bowling nights etc etc.
Anyway, as she walked past me she playfully poked me in the side. Unbeknownst to her I was in the process of letting go with a silent stalker...there were a couple of others in the office and I wanted the fart to be quiet. But, when she poked me in the side I clenched...my silent stalker turned into a...umm...rather loud exhibitionist.
There was absolutely no-one else to blame and no way to disguise what had just happened. The girl burst into hysterics and was still laughing when I left the office about a half hour later. She was on her way out too...to a get together with all the girls in our audit department.
She was still laughing when she arrived at the gathering, immediately prompting the question "What is so funny?" She told them....the little &^$%$^%^%#^%.
At the office Christmas party my secret Santa present was a can of baked beans, a roll of toilet paper, a scented candle and a can of air freshener. This prompted a whole pile of "What is the significance of those gifts?" questions. Needless to say everyone was then informed of my accidental flatulence.
SO....how do I get her back? It can't be cruel or disgusting in any way. It needs to be subtle, clever and something that makes me look good, not an prettythanghole.
Please advise.
is this story on the up and up .... not a idea for a sitcom episode???
if so you are bumming.... quit that job... you will NEVER live it down. (unless you get some poor schmuck to actually crap his pants @ work.. maybe maybe then they will forget about you)
-
Just start farting loudly on a regular basis... Their reaction will soon turn from laughter to dismay.
-
LOL Curval!! I feel embarrassed FOR you :D
-
let her know how much you appreciate her sharing that moment with others.
Im serious, that sincerity cheese works both ways. Make her feel like crap in return.
Anyway, my story:
Back when I was in high school (for those of you that dont know, im from Colombia, S. America) , we had a real f%$# jerk for a math teacher.
And I mean MAJOR jerk. The kind of teacher that makes you stand in front of the class to make you look like an idiot, humiliates you in public, etc etc. just so 'you perform' better in class. A reall stunninghunk who to boot had a 'i am god' attitude..heck not even the other teachers liked him.
Before I go on, FYI my school was an american school and all of our teachers were 'imported' , most were Americans, others were Canucks and Brits. This math teacher had been contracted at the start of that school year and was his first time 'outside' the USA.
So after a month my classmates and our own science teacher (Canadian) got so fed up with the fediddleer we decided to get a little payback, albeit one that would not get any of us in trouble or the teacher fired.
We invited him to dinner. A typical dish (best described as a fish stew with yucca, potato, herbs and of course, minced fish).
The fediddleer went down with omeabas for the next 2 months. :D :D
The guy ignored the warnings given to all new teachers about not eating native foods until they had been in the country for at least 6 months and had received all their innoculation shots.
Best of all, it was my British physics teacher that suggested we take him out to dinner, he had been in the country for 15 years and he remembered what happened to him when he first arrived :)
-
Cpt Apathy... now those are the types of pranks I remember.
Curval... your only hope is that you can catch that girl farting (or just fart near her and blame her) and say loud enough for others to hear "that fart wasn't bad, but you'll never be the king".
We used to do all the generic pranks. Most involved grease on a telephone ear peice or a newer and even more creative use for duct tape. A couple of the better ones:
----------------------------------
We typed up a memo on official letterhead telling someone they needed to go in for a sperm count. He actually went into the nurse claiming he was ready for the test. The nurse didn't think it was funny.
----------------------------------
In the Air Force, we had to wear resperators and special gloves to do alot of the painting of our weapons systems. Someone commented how it looked like we were cleaning up a toxic spill when an idea occured to us. We placed a sign face down outside of the door and poured some "aircraft soap" onto the floor (it smells a bit like amonia, though not very strong). After ordering a part, we new the stores runner would be by within 15 minutes and had two guys with the respirators and a mop out on the floor. They instantly noticed the stores runner and told him he'd entered a toxic chemical spill area. Someone went outside and got the sign to show him which said "DANGER! HAZARDOUS CHEMICAL SPILL. DO NOT ENTER!" You should have seen the look on the guys face. He was rushed into one of the adjoining rooms where they called "poison control" (me in another room in back)
Me: "What's your ssn"
Him: gives me his SSN
Me: "What was the name of the chemical you were exposed to"
Him: says our made up chemical name
Me: "Are you currently on any medication?"
Him: "No"
Me: "I'm going to need you to do a few things for me..."
Him: "OK"
Me: "First, I'll need you to take off your boots and socks and tell me if your toenails are turning blue"
Him: "Both boots?"
Me: "No... just one"
Him: "They don't look blue"
Me: "O.K. I'm going to need you to lie on your back and take a couple of deep breaths."
Him: "O.K."
Me: "Do you have a bitter taste in your mouth?"
Him: "Kinda"
Me: "Are you sure you're not on any medication?"
Him: "well... I am taking motrin."
Me: "OH ****! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!"
That is when the guy turned completely pale and the gents in the room could not hold their laughter any more. He called everyone an ******* and stormed out never to speak to any of us again... despite delivering parts to us for another 2 years. It wasn't until they guys heard the other end of the conversation (they were in the room with him.. not me) that they really lost it.
Bored soldiers are a scary thing.
MiniD
-
Originally posted by Curval
I'm going to use this thread as a way to figure out how to get back at someone at the office.
About 8 months ago I was working late. I was standing beside the printer waiting for some reports to print when our student auditor walked past. She is a great girl and organises all of the fun stuff at the office..parties, boating trips, bowling nights etc etc.
Anyway, as she walked past me she playfully poked me in the side. Unbeknownst to her I was in the process of letting go with a silent stalker...there were a couple of others in the office and I wanted the fart to be quiet. But, when she poked me in the side I clenched...my silent stalker turned into a...umm...rather loud exhibitionist.
There was absolutely no-one else to blame and no way to disguise what had just happened. The girl burst into hysterics and was still laughing when I left the office about a half hour later. She was on her way out too...to a get together with all the girls in our audit department.
She was still laughing when she arrived at the gathering, immediately prompting the question "What is so funny?" She told them....the little &^$%$^%^%#^%.
At the office Christmas party my secret Santa present was a can of baked beans, a roll of toilet paper, a scented candle and a can of air freshener. This prompted a whole pile of "What is the significance of those gifts?" questions. Needless to say everyone was then informed of my accidental flatulence.
SO....how do I get her back? It can't be cruel or disgusting in any way. It needs to be subtle, clever and something that makes me look good, not an prettythanghole.
Please advise.
You got off lucky man. This happened to me at work about 2 months ago. Except for a playful little poke it was more of a jab to the kidney.
I had a ton of draft beer the night before and had the classic "green apple splatters" that usually result from a night of stein hoisting.
Needless to say after a full on pant crapping I had to go home for a change of pants.
me
-
Shoot i can fart at work ori get written up!
Few months back i had made a nice big pot of 15 BEAN and Beef soup, well need less to say even when you try to hold some farts they are always so quiet, i had a few escapees , well a girl (black educated but getto) i work with squeaked to my sup.s and i got written up for farting in the office!
Of cousre NO ONE ELSE EVER FARTS in the office (ya right) so the sup and HR girl tell me if you have a bowel problem the goto the bathroom , lol I say well if i can make it in time but do you really want this type of thing spread through out the office.....................
they say in silence and said just keep them quite!
-
I got done for 'excessive flatulance' in the office, we had a real ***** working with us. She complained about all sorts of stuff. I had enough so I infected her PC with SubSeven (a remote control trojan).
Turns out she spent most of her day emailed her buddies from work. She was the sort that looks at her keyboard while she types. When she has going hard out typing up an email I'd disable her space bar. Ever seen an entire screen of text without spaces? :D
Then occasionally we'd load up porn sites in her browser - which would show up in the proxy 'dodgey' websites report.
Then ever now and then we'd swap her mouse button functionality (ie left became right and visa versa). She'd run off and get a techie, so we'd switch it back just as the techie was checking it out. By about the 4th support call he was getting mighty suspect about her. One time she got so peeved she actually PUSHED the button through the mouse.
Then (via Subseven) we found out she had been sending emails to one of our suppliers rep's. These emails made Penthouse Forum look like an episode of Little House on the Prairie. One of the managers found out about the 'emails' and decided he wanted a copy. So when she went out lunch next he rushed to her PC before the screensaver kicked in, found the emails printed them, rushed to the printer to retrieve them and waited... and waited... and waited.
Unfortunately for him he forgot to change her default printer which was our Head Office warehouse printer (so we could print of picking slips to them). And of course her screen saver kicked in so he couldn't kill the print job. So he follows up with a call to our warehouse guys "theres something on the printer, its EXTREMELY confidential and personal, can you tear it up and throw it in the rubbish without reading it please".
I think that was the closest I've ever come to wetting myself while laughing.
-
There are a couple of you I'm going to be avoiding sitting next to at any possible AH convention where we might meet. And you can take the elevator all on your own too.
-
I won't even begin to tell you the things I saw happen in the Wardroom Mess...
-
http://www.syberpunk.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?page=boonga
SKurj
-
when i took a temp job at a sheet metal factory, i was put on a sheer with some guy that had been there awhile and quite the joker, me being young and dumb,actually beleived there was such a thing as a sheetmetal strecher and after asking about 12 people figured out that this was a routine with all newbs in there plant. well i slept on it that night, went into work the next day with a plan, see we all wore gloves so as not to get yer hands cut to hell, during lunch i packed my finger tips of my right glove with ketchup packs from the canteen , me and the other dude ran of about 10 clean sheers then i decided it was payback time, i slid the gfingertips of the gloves under there sheer blade of course my fingers being held way back, but from his angle he couldn't see this, BOOM down comes the sheers , red ketchup all over the place ,i'm screaning going omg omg, the fugger looks over and passes out, he didnt hit nuthing, several off the shop guys come over reveive the basterd, i told them i just don't like being F^^% with, i got **** canned next day for it but that one was worth it:D , and i bet he thought twice about screwing with anyone else.
-
i worked in a photo lab and 1 night we told this loser noone liked we were gunning out of matte paper (satin finish to thoes outside the industry).
the building had no basemant like most factorties... yet we sent this fool on a search for de-glossifier spray. told him it was like aqua net hair spray.
he spent like 3 hours looking for the door to the basemant LOL
-
lol...
The construction businesses here plays jokes like that on their new employees.
One guy on our crew (summer job) spent an entire afternoon going from hardware store to hardware store looking for a "round" square as instructed by one of the masons. It is a pretty standard joke in the business so every time he asked a guy at one store he would tell the guy they were out of them and to try the next one.
-
I used to work with a guy who pissed of his wife. he unpacks his lunch 6 hours into a 12 hour shift. his sandwich is bread, mustard and a polaroid pic of a slice of ham.
-
Two of the best I've heard of:
I used to work at a GMC dealership and one of the managers was the type of person you didn't play jokes on. Becuase he would get you back so badly that the only revenge would be to shot him. Anyways, one of the (new) salesmen screwed with his office and Benny just waited. For about a month. Then, one night while we were at the bar, Benny put horse wormer in this guy's drink. The guy sat down and took a few sips, then he got this funny look on his face and made a move for the bathroom. He didn't take two steps before he filled both of his pantlegs.
The other was relayed to me by a friend of my dad's who was in the Air Force. He was stationed at some base up north where they had civilian contracter snow plow operators. Of course they hated to be woken up in the middle of the night to go plow the runway. On top of that, the Air Force guys had a little "joke" they'd play on the newbies. They would pour used hydralic fluid into a snow bank and then cover it up so the snow plow driver couldn't see it. Then, as the snow plow would get near the drift, they'd call him on the radio and ask if he'd seen one of the sentries because they hadn't heard from him in awhile. Just then the snow coming out of the snow blower would turn bright red....
-
Originally posted by Dune
Two of the best I've heard of:
I used to work at a GMC dealership and one of the managers was the type of person you didn't play jokes on. Becuase he would get you back so badly that the only revenge would be to shot him. Anyways, one of the (new) salesmen screwed with his office and Benny just waited. For about a month. Then, one night while we were at the bar, Benny put horse wormer in this guy's drink. The guy sat down and took a few sips, then he got this funny look on his face and made a move for the bathroom. He didn't take two steps before he filled both of his pantlegs.
The other was relayed to me by a friend of my dad's who was in the Air Force. He was stationed at some base up north where they had civilian contracter snow plow operators. Of course they hated to be woken up in the middle of the night to go plow the runway. On top of that, the Air Force guys had a little "joke" they'd play on the newbies. They would pour used hydralic fluid into a snow bank and then cover it up so the snow plow driver couldn't see it. Then, as the snow plow would get near the drift, they'd call him on the radio and ask if he'd seen one of the sentries because they hadn't heard from him in awhile. Just then the snow coming out of the snow blower would turn bright red....
This happened for real in Anchorage Alaska about 40 years ago. Most kids dig out snow caves and tunnels in hardened snow burms, my friends and I certainly did. One day a giant snow blower ground up two boys.
eskimo
-
Heard about this one guy who worked for a really big aerospace firm that was so disgruntled he decided to spend all day posting on a BBS.
(Probably a hoax, better check Snopes on this one)
-
I worked at egghead software as a salesguy, and the assistant manager was a real ass. He was dating a 17 year old girl and he was 21, and on aprilfools he had a friend who was a sportsmed guy call and impersonate a doc, he told the mother the pregnancy test was in and her daugher was knocked up. The mother freaked and he let her hang for like2 hours!
I heard about it, so the next time the mom(MILF, and she dressed the part) came to the store I offered to help her get him back. She said sure, so I got his best friend to ask his parents for his spare keys and then we waited for friday night, he went to the girls house and the mom called, they took her car and he left his, a CRX he loved, and they went to a movie.
The best friend goes and gets the car, and we leave my buddies number with the mom,we also leave some broken car glass infront of the house. He gets home and the mom says he car was stolen and she already called the cops and gave him my buddies number, told him it was oficer putt, and he was the cop on the case.
The guy freaked out so bad the mom took pitty on him in less then an hour and called us, he had already talked to my friend who said the car was being used in a robery and was now being chased.
So we called and said his car was found partly stripped and told him to come down to where we had it. we had all the doors open and the wheels off and hid behind it, when he pulled up his face was classic, and then we jumped out he spazzed!! lol he vowed revenge but never got it....
I also broke into a coworkers house from the same job and filled her car in her garage with 14 cod.
-
another great prank is to pick up some broken auto glass when you find it (a couple cups worth). then you roll down the window in a guys car and spread the glass around.
when I was a kid we pulled this on my dad. he takes it to the shop to have the window fixed and the guy just rolled it up and looked at him like he was stupid
-
play off the fart, laugh about it yourself, with them. It will kill it quick.
and get a sign for your desk....."BEWARE...Don't poke this doughboy"
-
when I was in college, my roomate worked for the computer department as and I.T. guy. Well, as an I.T. guy he had all sorts of adminitrative tools that the normal student didn't have.
One of these gems of a tool was the ability to view and type on anyone elses computer screen. :D
So one day, this guy comes into the lab to work on the computers. This individual is a born again Christian to the extreme. Carries a bible EVERYWHERE he goes, constantly reads it, and EVERYONE is going to hell unless they are like him. Very overboard. He believe in the sign of satan "666" and all that good stuff.
My roommate, Steve, logs in as an administator so we can see what he is typing on his computer (we are in the lab also btw). He is working on a religious paper of some sort. So we decide to have some fun with him...
As he was typing, Steve would interject big 666's in the middle of his document. Of course this confused the crap outta him, and he started to get a little worried look on his face. He deleted the 666's then looked at his notes.
While he was looking, Steve put in a couple of carriage returns and wrote....
"666 HELLO BILL, THIS IS SATAN.... SEE YOU REAL SOON...... 666"
I sh*t you not, his eyes got as big as 50 cent pieces, he put his hand over his mouth, let out a little squeek, and ran out of the room, leaving all of his stuff behind.
He never did come back to that particular lab.. :D We laughed for weeks on that one....
-
Originally posted by Dnil
play off the fart, laugh about it yourself, with them. It will kill it quick.
and get a sign for your desk....."BEWARE...Don't poke this doughboy"
I have done what you suggested first and it has died a death...of course every time a fart is discussed in the office my little incident is brought up. No biggie. Farts are funny.
The sign thing would just provoke questions...probably from clients.:D
-
if the clients ask, tell them to pull your finger.
-
Curval, to get back at the chick, pull her aside look her straight in the eyes tell her what she did isn't funny at all, cause you almost died from a bowel infection, and one of the lingering side effects is gas. String the story along, real sad like, then look straight at her let out a real loud fart and laugh in her face. hehe.
here's a stupid guy one..
There was an employee of a local welding shop who got fired for drinking on the job, when he came to get his last cheque and clean out his locker, he was stewed. He got angry and decided to get even, so he went onto the roof and came up withe the bright idea of pissing on the transformer from the roof, in an attempt to short it out.
Well needless to say when his piss stream hit the tranformer, a bolt of lightening shot back up and well,...he don't have a drinking problem anymore. I guess his last cheque went towards the flowers.
Bumba