Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Wlfgng on June 20, 2003, 09:33:37 AM
-
:)
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened
by the time she brings it.
----------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a
woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
able to support you.
----------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those
"evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen
sink and stove.
----------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she
starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
----------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the
stove.
----------------------------------------
Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up
long enough to build up the required pressure.
----------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut
up once you let him in.
----------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what
she's told.
--------------------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
----------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
her.
---------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I
said, "Dust!"
----------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor
Man has rested.
------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
----------------------------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower!"
----------------------------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in
every country, son.
----------------------------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The
next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
----------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.
----------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy
GOD BLESS AMERICA
-
heheh nice:D