Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Mark Luper on July 14, 2003, 09:56:17 PM
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A friend of mine, from out of state and transplanted here, sent this to me. Some of you may have had similar views :)
1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few
no one has ever seen before.
4. Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.
5. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
6. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
7. There are valid reasons why some people put razor wire around their house.
8. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
9. The wind blows at 90 mph from March 2 till July 25, then it stops until March 2.
10. Onced and twiced are words. (In some parts of Texas these words are
pronounced oncet and twicet.)
11. Coldbeer is one word.
12. People actually grow and eat okra.(Amen: Fried, boiled, and in Gumbo)
13. Green grass DOES burn.
14. When you live in the country you never have to buy a dog. City people
drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
15. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
few weeks. Then you use them for target practice.
16. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a
doctor.
17. Fixin'ta is one word. (As is, Goin'ta)
18. A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the
cows, or swimming.
19. There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then
there's supper.
20. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking
it when you are two.
21. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
22. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?" In some parts of
Texas it's "yaetyet?" meaning "have you eaten yet?"
23. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
24. "Facks" are easily recognized truths. (See Items 1 thru 23 above for
examples.)
Also, You know you are a Texan if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. You see a car with the engine running with no one
in it, no mater what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin'ta go to the store.
(Note: See Item 17 above.)
6. You know all the festivals across the state are named
after a fruit or a vegetable.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables for your own car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
l0. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup,
and Tabasco.
11. You think everyone from North of Dallas has an accent.
12. You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
13. The local papers cover national and international news on one page
but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
14. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
15. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
16. You find 100+ degrees a "tad" warm
17. You know the names of all four seasons by heart:
Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
18. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South
Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
19 Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin' Wal-Martin."
20. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
21. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...It's a Coke
regardless of brand or flavor.
22. Texans sometimes brag but mostly just quote "facks."
22. You understand these jokes!
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Only one thing wrong with Texas...
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...is George W. Bush Jr.
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Sweat Jeasious, you guys are like a broken ****in record.
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Originally posted by funkedup
Sweat Jeasious, you guys are like a broken ****in record.
was going to say... "It's full of Texans." :p
:D
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You forgot one. A texans last words. Hey yall watch this.
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Quiet Fishu! The Secret Police will be after you if you continue criticizing the fuhrer... :rolleyes:
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Hell... I must admit... Texas can't be all bad... the Dixie Chicks came from there. :D
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Originally posted by GRUNHERZ
Quiet Fishu! The Secret Police will be after you if you continue criticizing the fuhrer... :rolleyes:
Sorry, you must put an army on the business, since yer führers power does not apply here :D
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Hehe, it's always interesting to note the reaction most "outsiders" have to Texan's. It is a state of mind as much as anything, a feeling of total independence that seems to really tick off those who never felt that way nor understand where it comes from. Though I have been treated well and in a friendly manner in some other states I never feel the same warmth and genuine sense of friendship I feel here at home in Texas from people that are total strangers.
If you have been here before... Y'all come back now... ya hear!!
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Originally posted by Fishu
Sorry, you must put an army on the business, since yer führers power does not apply here :D
No problem! You did say he does whatever he wants just like some fascist dictator.
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
Hehe, it's always interesting to note the reaction most "outsiders" have to Texan's. It is a state of mind as much as anything, a feeling of total independence that seems to really tick off those who never felt that way nor understand where it comes from. Though I have been treated well and in a friendly manner in some other states I never feel the same warmth and genuine sense of friendship I feel here at home in Texas from people that are total strangers.
If you have been here before... Y'all come back now... ya hear!!
Yeah, I don't like those Texicans :D
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I like Texas, have had nothing but good times there. It's too hot, but the people are great and you can get good BBQ just about anywhere. Shiner Bock too. :)
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Yeah, I enjoy Amarillo, I don't know where Eddiek has been but he only lives about 35 miles from me.
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American by birth, Texan by the grace of God!
(http://www.initiativefortexas.org/texas.gif)
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Will be back home to the motherland in a month or 2, can't wait :)
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Originally posted by Dnil
Will be back home to the motherland in a month or 2, can't wait :)
let me know when dude, I'll drive down to Houston. Would be great to see you again...
Fishu you stupid eurotrash you hate ameriiica so much you can't even let one lighthearted thread go by with out bashing us in some sort of way. Here's to hoping a terrorist bomb finds you and you're family :)
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might move to Texas.. they have very civilized laws.
lazs
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9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
Cow tipping is a time honored tradition wherever the little doggies roam, not just in Baja Oklahoma. It is also best tried after at least 6 beers.
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You know you're a Texan when you catch your 11 year old daughter smoking at the breakfast table. . . . . . . . . right in front of her kids.
Or you wish death and destruction on a euro-trash Ameriiica hater who disagrees with your politics.
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texas is a good place IF your not stuck in the BIBLE BELT and or living/visiting a DRY COUNTY!!!!!
shoot like the place aint dry enough!:D
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Should be around late August, early September. Not in Kingwood this time, hopefully around Kemah. Gotta have a place for the sailboat and lakes just don't do it for me. See ya soon bro!
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Originally posted by funkedup
I like Texas, have had nothing but good times there. It's too hot, but the people are great and you can get good BBQ just about anywhere. Shiner Bock too. :)
SHACK!
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Originally posted by Fishu
...is George W. Bush Jr.
If you had half the character and integrity of a Texan, I might find you at least tolerable.
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Originally posted by Dnil
Should be around late August, early September. Not in Kingwood this time, hopefully around Kemah. Gotta have a place for the sailboat and lakes just don't do it for me. See ya soon bro!
Kemah, LOL!!!! Good luck, its under 3 feet of water as I type this. ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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9. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
We do that here in south-western germany - "Kühe umschmeissen". But because we have mostly steep hills for the cows (the flat parts are covered with wheat and such stuff), it`s even more fun ;)
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hehe i know, property should be cheap now, plus i do have a boat. :)
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"The only things in Texas are steers and queers...I don't see any horns on your head!!"
:p
-Slicer
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Originally posted by Dnil
plus i do have a boat. :)
Good thing, you're gonna need it!!
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They have some stupid laws down here . But it's close to Mexico so modernity isn't so far away .
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Well... I know some of you, specificaly SUAVE, SLCR, Arfann, and Fishu are for the most part just trying to get a "rise" out of the natives down here and I guess y'all succeeded at that. My personal opinion of you is that you are sucking the south end of a north bound mule :D.
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What ? I like it here . Despite the stupid laws .
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
Well... I know some of you, specificaly SUAVE, SLCR, Arfann, and Fishu are for the most part just trying to get a "rise" out of the natives down here and I guess y'all succeeded at that. My personal opinion of you is that you are sucking the south end of a north bound mule :D.
Just for that we're closing our borders. If God had meant for Texans to ski he would have made bull**** white.
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I love the Republic of Texas almost as much as I do the country of Brazil :)
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Whats the going rate for tipping cows? We usually tip the sheep about 10%.
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You know if you're a texan if...
1. When you hear 'Hey y'all, watch this!', you wonder if you can take the pig to the funeral.
2. Your wife is also your brother/sister/cousin/uncle/grandpa/aunt/mother/father/son/daughter/pet.
3. You know Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.
4. You ARE Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.
5. You have a gun rack in the back of your 1947 pickup.
6. Fifth grade was the best 6 years of your life.
7. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
8. You've been married 3 times and have the same inlaws.
9. You think the last words of the star-spangled banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines!'.
10. Your toilet paper has page numbers.
11. You dated your parent's current spouse in high-school.
Texas is really quite a good place to visit...
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Mark, the reason most people spew derrogitory remarks about Texas and Texans is lack of pride in their own home state. Texans have enormous pride in their home and others just don't get it or know how to react to it. Of the 50 states, only Texas was an independant nation with it's own military and diplomats. Until the admission of Alaska, Texas was the largest state, so large in fact, that it was given the option of breaking up into 5 smaller states if it so chose. Now I'm not putting down anyones home state, but there just isn't the pride shown from any other state that can compare.
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That's true RPM, and we are the only state in the Union authorised to fly the state flag at the same height as the Union flag and the only state that can succeed legaly from the Union. :)
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i just learned that its a nasty storm over there, hope nobody gets hurt.
BTW HTC... take a backup of your P47N design so you wont have to start over if the disk gets broken :D
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Reports this morning of 2 dead so far from Hurricaine Claudette in South Texas.In Jourdanton, about 35 miles south of San Antonio, 13-year-old Clayton Dojahn was killed when a mesquite tree fell on him in his front yard, police said. A 33-year-old woman was killed in Victoria by a limb when she stepped outside to check storm damage:(
Mark, I think you ment Secede, and you are correct.
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
and the only state that can succeed legaly from the Union. :)
And they probably would, if they could learn how to spell it.
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Hehe, I always have problems with that word, tried to look it up in webster's online dictionary and could never find it.
Btw Arfrann, I don't ski... never have and probably never will so you can just close your borders to me :). Colorado is beautiful country though, maybe we should annex it...:).
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
That's true RPM, and we are the only state in the Union authorised to fly the state flag at the same height as the Union flag and the only state that can succeed legaly from the Union. :)
This is partialy inccorect. While perusing the AGW boards I came across a thread about the Civil War and the issue about whether or not Texas can leagaly secede from the Union came up. The following link dispels that notion:Texas Secession (http://www.urbanlegends.com/politics/texas_secession.html)
My appologies for the misinformation.
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Originally posted by rpm371
Of the 50 states, only Texas was an independant nation with it's own military and diplomats.
Texas was never a threat to the United States. Its just redikulus!
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Thus Frémont and his sixty armed scouts and soldiers were at hand in the spring of 1846 when rumors circulated of imminent war between Mexico and the United States. On June 10, Americans near Sonoma took up arms and declared an independent California Republic with a homemade flag bearing a single star and the painted image of a grizzly, thus earning their uprising the name of the Bear Flag Revolt. Frémont joined the rebels in their short-lived republic, which ended on July 9,
So California was also an "independent republic" for almost a whole month!
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Originally posted by devious
We do that here in south-western germany - "Kühe umschmeissen". But because we have mostly steep hills for the cows (the flat parts are covered with wheat and such stuff), it`s even more fun ;)
ROF
Instead of running with the bulls you can roll with the cows, ha ha!!
BTW, I think "sweetened ice tea" is known as sweet tea, I used to work in a kitchen in jax, fl. and I drank it constantly. I come back north just to find powdered crap.
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My all time favorite thing about Texas is the food. Once on a visit to Amarillo (my cousin was a Red Raider) I went to a restaurant for some BBQ. All it said on the menu was "beef". None of this "special cut fru fru" crap... just beef. Tasted great.
And my dad lived in San Antonio, some of the best mexican food I ever tasted.
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Last year at the con. I couldn't believe the hunmidity. Must have been some man made lakes near.
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Yup Sunking, there are dozens of man made lakes and "tanks" in this area. That humidity is the only real thing I dislike about Central Texas summers. Out west it's just hot. :)
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In fact, Texas has only one natural(non-man made) lake(discounting ponds, of course), and it is dry part of the year.
Other strange Texas facts.
If you flip Texas to the East keeping the Eastern border in position, it will touch the Atlantic. Likewise if you flip it West from El Paso, it will touch the Pacific.
The most northerly coral reef in the US is offshore of Texas.
Houston is the largest city in the US with no Zoning.
There were Europeans in Texas before there were Europeans in New England.
There is a fault line running through South Houston(ever notice that hump on 45 at ellington exit?)
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What lake is that Gadfly?
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Caddo
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Originally posted by Gadfly
Houston is the largest city in the US with no Zoning.
They HAVE zoning in Texas?
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In Austin, they zone what time you have to brush yer teeth in the morning.
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Originally posted by Gadfly
The most northerly coral reef in the US is offshore of Texas.
I have dove it several times, called the Flower Gardens or Grand Banks. Nice dive, but blue water diving so to speak. Better have your watermelon together before you go down.
Same applies to female divers as well.
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
24. "Facks" are easily recognized truths.
In London, a fack is sexual intercourse.
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I have only dove it once, put I have spent many days trolling around it and many nights moored over the flower gardens.
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Originally posted by Syzygyone
Texas was never a threat to the United States. Its just redikulus!
Neither is the U.S. a threat to the R.O.T. :D
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I like Texans. Every single one I ever met made sure to introduce themselves as 'Hi I'm Chuck/Mary-Lou from TEXAS' Just in case I might mistake them for a mere ordinary American. :D
I like that pride in their home state.
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Originally posted by Jackal1
Neither is the U.S. a threat to the R.O.T. :D
Well, we could give ya back to Mexico! But, since Fox asked W not to do that, if we did, it would be seen as a very mean thing to do to Mexico:D
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That guy in Berlin with the great hair should go to Texas for his vacation.
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I used to live in Texas,its hotter than hell there.
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Originally posted by type_char
I used to live in Texas,its hotter than hell there.
He ain't lying! (http://www.hh100.org/index.shtml)