Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Hortlund on July 18, 2003, 04:11:47 PM
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Winner:
"They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently,"
Personally I think this one is "better" though.
"Bill shifted uncomfortably on his stool looking at the topless blonde bombshell on the bar, but the first thing that struck him was the pulchritude of the exotic dancer's lips, which glowed like maraschino cherries, that is, pitted cherries macerated in an almond-flavored syrup then heated to boiling in an alum-containing brine full of carcinogenic red dyes,"
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030717/ap_on_fe_st/worst_writing_1
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Worst writing award is going to GA, he cant help it tho.. he has some defects :D
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All of the Grand Prize winners since 1983 (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/lyttony.htm)
The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong, clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, "Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steel through your last meal."
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It's an "acte manqué"/parapraxis/freudian slip Steve just look at the bottom of the page you linked :
Elephants Don't Understand Swedish (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20030718/ap_on_fe_st/sweden_thai_elephants&e=4)
:D
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When the Swedish royal couple visited Thailand earlier this year, they were presented with two elephants as a gift from the king of Thailand.
"Uh...thanks...gee...an elephant huh...no, TWO elephants you say...put them in the...eh...trunk..."
lol...the things our poor King has to put up with.
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The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.
--Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York (1986 Winner)
ROFL...that link is pure gold MT!