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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Dowding on August 08, 2003, 04:50:22 AM

Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 08, 2003, 04:50:22 AM
This isn't a blatant attempt to get ToS breaking pictures onto this BBS, but is in fact a sincere, honest and adult discussion about a thing (or things) that have suddenly become very important to me. I seek enlightenment from those that know.

The story:

Boy(me) meets girl and proceeds to pull her (English colloquial for 'pick-up] I guess). She says she has a young son, but since I was a staying at a friend's flat (who happened to hook with a gaggle of 20 year old student nurses, the bastige) it didn't really matter - nothing was going to happen. So after taking her number we go our separate ways. I rings her mobile, which she had left at home, so she could have my number.

Next day I get a phone call from a number I don't recognise. Answering it, I find it is a bloke who claims to be the girl's fiance asking who I am. I say "Nevermind who I am, who are you?" He wants to know what happened the previous night - I tell him to ask the girl and that's that.

The girl rings me an hour later saying she is sorry that I got the call, but she is separated from the guy. I'm a bit wary by now - they seem to be still sharing the house, although he works away during the week. In fact, I pretty much say thanks but no thanks to the whole situation. And forget about it for 6 months.

Until last week. She text messages me asking how I am, explaining that her and the fiance had tried one last time up until April, but now it is over and he has moved out. The guy lives with his mother at the weekend and their son stays there with him during that time.

That seems truthful so I agree to go for a drink. I'm not wanting anything serious (partly because she has a young son) but maybe she has the same in mind. She then tells me she had a boob job. Just like that. Now, whereas before I was going to make it clear to her that a serious relationship was not possible and therefore risk not getting anywhere with her, the temptation of the fake boobies is proving to be very nearly irresistible.

So the dilemma is - do I drop what principles I have in the name of silicon or do I stand...err... firm and be honest and truthful? Would it be worth it? :)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Maniac on August 08, 2003, 04:59:49 AM
Do her once then dump her...
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: _Schadenfreude_ on August 08, 2003, 05:12:22 AM
If you don't you're going to end up on the wrong side of 50 drinking warm beer and eating pork scratchings and saying if only I'd...........
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Wilfrid on August 08, 2003, 05:46:40 AM
What they said mate.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: sling322 on August 08, 2003, 06:04:20 AM
Awwww look....Dowding has a crush.  And its on a girl this time.

:D

Heh....boobs are boobs.  If you arent a baby using them for nutrition they really dont serve that much of a purpose.  They are nice to look at and play with but whether they are real or not doesnt make that much of a difference.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: DiabloTX on August 08, 2003, 06:09:34 AM
Europe: "Gee, uh, what should I do?  Ummm, can't decide which part of me is guiding my feelings.  I am so confused!  What should I do?"

America: "Just do me baby!"  

:D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 08, 2003, 06:19:57 AM
Heh. Doing the 'right thing' is important. :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: capt. apathy on August 08, 2003, 06:27:42 AM
hell, tell her the truth.  
1. she's a single mother- so at least once in her life she enjoyed or at the very least was willing to take part in sex.
2. she reciently had a live in guy- so she has likely grown used to regular sex
3. she is reciently broken up- so she isn't likely getting the afore mentioned regular sex
4. it's very likely she's looking for the same thing you are (which might be why she even brought up the topic of fake titties, to sell you on the idea)

while she may also be looking for a permanent replacement for the boyfreind she may also just be looking to replace the sex for now, and have no interest in a relationship, in which case you lying, and acting like you're interestd in a relationship  could scare her off costing you the sex, not sealing the deal. so that could go either way.

even if she is looking for a relationship, she may be willing to settle for the sex alone for now.

so tell her the truth, you have a better than 50/50 shot of it working out better for you.  and if it does work out you get to be the 'freind with privilages', a much better situation if all you are interested in is the sex.  
1.  you don't have to spend as much cash or do the whole 'dating ritual'
2.  she wont be as likely to go into nagging  or crazy mode trying to change you. (why should she care if you have faults, you're not a future husband your just an '*uck-buddy')
3.  when you stop seeing each other you can just stop seeing each other (and likely get together every now and then after that).  you don't have to to the whole thing about how you are the POS who used her vulnerable situation of looking for someone to be a father for her kid...blah...blah ...blah, led her on, blah blah blah.   you just say 'screw off, I told you I wasn't interested in any of that from the start'
4.  you'll enjoy it a lot more if you don't have to lie to get it.
5. she won't bad-mouth you to her freinds about how you didn't live up to expectations she had for your future together.
6.   and since you never pretended to be interested in the whole 'big future' thing, you are technically exempt from the not being able to date her freinds thing.  so she could introduce you to lots of other potential uck-buddys.

all that aside you also don't have to be a liar
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Maniac on August 08, 2003, 06:32:29 AM
Quote
1. you don't have to spend as much cash or do the whole 'dating ritual'


Ho Ho Ho said Santa... :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Bonden on August 08, 2003, 06:39:57 AM
One woman I remember the most vividly, is the beauty I let slip through my fingers - go for it :)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: WestyAH on August 08, 2003, 06:47:51 AM
Go rent the movie Fatal Attraction before you do anything further. While it's not a mirror image of you situation it does show you the possibilites of getting involved with someone that has "issues"
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: DiabloTX on August 08, 2003, 07:33:28 AM
Quote
Originally posted by WestyAH
it does show you the possibilites of getting involved with someone that has "issues"


That describes every woman on the planet.  :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: SLO on August 08, 2003, 07:33:53 AM
I'm with westy here.....

women and Issue's.....just not a good combo:eek:
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: capt. apathy on August 08, 2003, 07:55:02 AM
women and 'issues' may not be a good combo. but they always are a combo.  not just women either, we all bring baggage with us where ever we go.  men just pack lighter.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Swoop on August 08, 2003, 08:00:55 AM
Jesus Dowd, the very fact that you have to ask makes me wanna bring up that old thread..........


Aw Skuzzy, unlock it!  just for one last punt?

(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Wanker on August 08, 2003, 08:07:16 AM
Dowding,

WWRJD


Words to live by.









Translation: What would Ron Jeremy do?  

:D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: WestyAH on August 08, 2003, 08:25:58 AM
What would Ron do? You have to even bellybutton the question!?  ;)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: DiabloTX on August 08, 2003, 08:28:36 AM
Quote
Originally posted by WestyAH
What would Ron do? You have to even bellybutton the question!?  ;)


Ass isn't the question, its the subject!!  :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Mini D on August 08, 2003, 09:04:24 AM
Go out with her.  It should make for some entertaining O'Club posts.

But be forwarned: "PSYCHO" seems to be tattooed on her forehead.

MiniD
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: WestyAH on August 08, 2003, 09:12:25 AM
"Ass isn't the question, its the subject!!"

Freudian slip!    :p
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: boxboy28 on August 08, 2003, 09:19:21 AM
Dowding   - hit it , tap it, smack it, grab em play till your blue in the face then when you done you'll reallize natural one are better.!  But like you too I just had to check em out to see what it was all about!!:D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: SOB on August 08, 2003, 09:21:14 AM
That's a creative story, Dowding...I almost believed for a second that you ain't gay!  :p

Shag her, mate, shag her rotten.


SOB
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Wlfgng on August 08, 2003, 09:23:53 AM
I can relate.  Have an ex that did the same,
and then once she had 'them'.. she called me
up .
she really just wanted to 'share' them..
if you know what I mean.

bottom line is that's all it was.. shag shag shag
then 'move on'
not a bad thing but I wouldn't expect anything deep or serious
from her.
she's going through some 'stuff'
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: muckmaw on August 08, 2003, 09:30:33 AM
Let me see if I can answer you in your native tongue...


Sounds to me like that bird is all 6's and 7's.

I'd just go home and have a j-arthur.

:D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Wlfgng on August 08, 2003, 09:31:11 AM
LOL
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Preon1 on August 08, 2003, 09:37:03 AM
Don't worry so much about the issues.  Apparently one guy made it in, had his fun, and escaped.  You can too
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: -Concho- on August 08, 2003, 10:01:33 AM
Tag, bag, move on....

That's why god made restraining orders.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Wlfgng on August 08, 2003, 10:01:52 AM
Quote
his fun, and escaped.


classic!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: DiabloTX on August 08, 2003, 10:03:23 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Preon1
Don't worry so much about the issues.  Apparently one guy made it in, had his fun, and escaped.  You can too


Hopefully he can be "responsible" for the results of his fun.  Anyone can be a baby maker...
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: _Schadenfreude_ on August 08, 2003, 10:26:57 AM
ahem..I do feel that pics are called for at this stage to ensure we know what you're getting into....as it were....
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: funkedup on August 08, 2003, 10:40:06 AM
Quote
Originally posted by banana
What would Ron Jeremy do?


Dude she called you up and told you:
1.  She's single.
2.  She had breast enhancements.

She clearly wants to make the sign of the three legged Guatemalan tree squirrel.

TAP THAT donut AND GET THE **** OUTTA DODGE!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: funkedup on August 08, 2003, 10:41:21 AM
PS:  RECON PHOTOS
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: rogwar on August 08, 2003, 11:13:43 AM
Give her a good seeing to!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: LePaul on August 08, 2003, 11:33:18 AM
Sounds like Arielle's evil, long lost twin

Do it once, get pics, and run run run.   ;)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Saurdaukar on August 08, 2003, 12:10:27 PM
Dowding - hit it.  (http://www.bimmerforums.com/forum/images/smilies/boobies.gif)

The allure of fake boobs is impossible to resist - you just have to know.  And like Shatenfries said, you dont want to be 50 sitting at some pub kicking yourself for discussing this issue on an internet BBS when you could be laying pipe instead.

She sounds like a tramp (thats good - disposable women rock) so all you need to do is get your bellybutton over there.  Out for a drink or two fine... but dont forget your aim here - hers is probably the same so dont beat around the bush wasting time.

Worse Case Scenario:  You get laid, and because you really suck and didnt pull her hair and spank her ass, she never calls you again.

Best Case Scenario:  You get laid, she calls you the next day, you get laid, she calls you the next day, you get laid, repeat.

So this is really just about how big you can win.  Dont bugger it up Euroman!

EDIT:  Oh yeah and uh...

(http://www.bimmerforums.com/forum/images/smilies/needpics.gif)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: funkedup on August 08, 2003, 12:10:35 PM
Most broads will always have the guy ready "in the bullpen" in case it doesn't work out with the current guy.

BRING IN THE LEFTIE!!!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 08, 2003, 12:23:14 PM
lol thanks for the laughs :D

I don't know whether she has 'issues'. I've met nuttier women, and after talking to her for a good while she seemed pretty earthed. But who knows... she was going out with this last guy for 8 years.

I'll be honest with the girl and play it from there - I think I'd do that anyway. Not sure if RJ would do that... ;)

I hope she doesn't turn out to be a bunny boiler - I move into a new flat next month and don't want to piss off my neighbours with some psycho cooking wildlife in my flat while I'm at work. Or worse.

And... Leftie Euroman will not shag this up in any sense but the one that matters!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 08, 2003, 12:24:26 PM
Your suggestions regarding pics are most immoral.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: _Schadenfreude_ on August 08, 2003, 12:26:03 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dowding
Your suggestions regarding pics are most immoral.


Sheesh they don't have to be nekkid or anything...........anyone else want to see Dowdings new.........."friend"?
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: funkedup on August 08, 2003, 12:34:24 PM
PS:  CHILI DOG!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: gofaster on August 08, 2003, 12:36:18 PM
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
Most broads will always have the guy ready "in the bullpen" in case it doesn't work out with the current guy.

BRING IN THE LEFTIE!!!


Yep, been the starter and the back-up.  It sucks being the back-up.





















So I pushed her out of the backseat of my Pontiac. :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Saurdaukar on August 08, 2003, 01:29:23 PM
Quote
Originally posted by gofaster
Yep, been the starter and the back-up.  It sucks being the back-up.

 


Well - at least you have nothing to lose at the backup - getting pulled from the game as the starter sucks.  ;)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: funkedup on August 08, 2003, 01:31:00 PM
No bullpen is much worse.  You spend a lot of of time and effort warming up but you may never get to "take the mound".
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: SKurj on August 08, 2003, 01:47:44 PM
All thinking does is get ya into trouble....


SKurj
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Stringer on August 08, 2003, 02:04:10 PM
The only way this will work is if she has a friend that has had them done as well, and they both want to test drive them with you together.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: boxboy28 on August 08, 2003, 02:41:20 PM
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
No bullpen is much worse.  You spend a lot of of time and effort warming up but you may never get to "take the mound".


thats a classic and my new sig line!  TY :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Tuomio on August 08, 2003, 05:57:25 PM
Do her, BUT since you got these wise guides from fellow BBS members, i suggest you take digicam with you  and share the result ok?

I mean, few photos of her naked is little for these good tips you got. :D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: mietla on August 08, 2003, 06:01:12 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Tuomio
Do her, BUT since you got these wise guides from fellow BBS members, i suggest you take digicam with you  and share the result ok?

I mean, few photos of her naked is little for these good tips you got. :D


Yeah, and if something goes wrong, we can all analyze it and give you an advise for the future.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Saurdaukar on August 08, 2003, 07:31:16 PM
Not only that but I would consider it proof that youre only bi instead of 100% 3 dollar bill.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: SirLoin on August 08, 2003, 08:19:27 PM
Do her boobs..Then get the hell out!
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: udet on August 08, 2003, 09:18:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Maniac
Do her once then dump her...



well said. take pics if you can:D
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Steve on August 09, 2003, 12:45:19 AM
Silicon?  Disappointing.  With any luck they are Saline which feel much more real.  Dowding, you're acting like you've never had your hands on fake boobs before.  Are fake boobs a rarity in your neck of the woods or do you just not get out much?
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 09, 2003, 06:26:24 AM
Fake boobs are pretty rare in these parts - in fact I don't know of anybody who has them or come across them (no pun intended, SirLoin). In the US, I know its very common, hence this post.

Heh. I do have a Nokia 3650 cell fone BTW. It does video and still digi pics. ;)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Swoop on August 09, 2003, 07:07:51 AM
Depends if the real thing is......um, no I'll shut up now.

(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: -Concho- on August 09, 2003, 12:11:41 PM
I'll have to concur with Mr. Swoop on this.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Vulcan on August 09, 2003, 05:34:01 PM
I hate to be the voice of reason, but shouldn't you find out how big this 'ex-boyfriend' who is still living with her is?
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Swoop on August 09, 2003, 06:12:39 PM
Put down the sheep and put on your glasses.  Now go read the original post again, he moved back to his parents.

(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Saurdaukar on August 09, 2003, 06:15:49 PM
Dowding?  Where is your update?  And the pics?  

Your manhood is at stake here...  do us proud.  

(PS:  Extra points if you shouted 'Check Six Dweeb!' during the course of the act.)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: hazed- on August 09, 2003, 08:34:05 PM
fake tits feel like fake tits. If you can get over that then PORK away!! :)


I have to say i prefer a smaller pair of real ones than a big pair of fake ones but of course there can be exceptions to this rule ;)

dowding just go have a shag and stop analysing it too much. Dont promis stuff you wont deliver and you cant be thought of badly when it all comes to an end.

Btw all experiences ive had with single mums has been a bit of a pain in the neck! its good at first, single mums love to get kinky usually! hehe but it soon becomes a lot more complicated than a single non-mum relationship. The dad has an element of control over the girl with the kids usually and if hes a complete banana, which they usually are they can make things difficult and can be the cause of untold rows, and judging by the fact he rang you up that night you got yourself a prize one there.

Steer clear if she tries to get serious for your own sanity.

best advice i can give
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: _Schadenfreude_ on August 10, 2003, 05:09:40 AM
Don't warn him off!!! Sheesh guys this could keep going till December if the recipe is right - Crazy single mom, great sex, jealous boyfriend, bit of bunny boiling - hell if they move in together this could break the 1000 mark in posts!!!

GO FOR IT DOWDING!!

( Take pics)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: midnight Target on August 10, 2003, 02:58:59 PM
You guys are a bunch of insenitive louts!

Dowding.... take her for a long walk on the beach and hold her hand while she spills her guts about her insecureties and the reason for her boob job. Then take some upskirt shots and post-em here.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: gofaster on August 11, 2003, 12:41:13 PM
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Dowding.... take her for a long walk on the beach and hold her hand while she spills her guts about her insecureties and the reason for her boob job. Then take some upskirt shots and post-em here.


LOL!  That's the funniest thing I've read all week.  Almost makes me want to attend a WB con in Pensacola some day.  Almost.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Rude on August 11, 2003, 01:20:24 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dowding
Heh. Doing the 'right thing' is important. :D


Hey Dowding....don't listen to these goofs.

Here is proper course of action....respect her at all times and be her friend, regardless of the level of involvement.

Oh, and one more thing....don't play house...it's for rookies and guys with no class.

Later!:)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: Dowding on August 11, 2003, 01:42:38 PM
Quote
Oh, and one more thing....don't play house...it's for rookies and guys with no class.


This isn't going to be a serious thing. Playing house thing is certainly not going to happen. Too young for that game... I also want to enjoy my flat. ;)

If I think she's a nutcase or is a bit 'vulnerable', nothing will happen. To be honest, I'd already made that decision before I posted.
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: bigUC on August 11, 2003, 03:43:09 PM
She sounds like trouble... but have fun!  I love the "i'm in the process of breaking up" and "my boobs are fake".   Both spell doom.  

BTW: A friend flirted with a chick in a bar a few months ago - she was interested, but her boyfriend showed up and took her home...  When she left one of the more "experienced" guys said that he would get the "We're in the process of breaking up"-call the day after - and guess what happened.  Break-up was bull**** of course, but he got laid.

BTWII:  Did you advertise your "salami extension" operation? About time it pays off... ;)
Title: Fake Boobies
Post by: medicboy on August 11, 2003, 04:51:01 PM
Dude, do her and back off, but not out of the question compleatly.  You may need to do some finish work.  I am willing to bet she is just looking for some "rebound" action and you were handy at the time.  Take what you can get and don't put any feelings on the line.

BY THE WAY, WHERE ARE THE PICS????????