Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Curval on September 26, 2003, 01:47:59 PM
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I have been tasked with trying to find something funny to cheer up a colleague who is in hospital in the US.
It needs to be printed and faxed to him.
Ideas? Not too racey though. Maybe something from a web site that I can print off?
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evil overlord list is always good
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
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Curval, no better place than http://www.funny.com
Heres a good joke too:-
An American, Frenchman, Englishman, walking along a beach and find a bottle when...
A genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, " says the genie.
The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America."
With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming.
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want big a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.
The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall?"
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out of it."
The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
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Print off my thread about sportsmen and criminals. He'll laugh, he'll cry, he won't be able to put it down.
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Be careful going to funny.com they try to install spyware on your system.
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Nothing cheers up patients quite like getting to watch a visitor eat a big dripping bacon cheeseburger slathered in bleu-cheese dressing between nibbling at onion rings.
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Originally posted by Chairboy
Nothing cheers up patients quite like getting to watch a visitor eat a big dripping bacon cheeseburger slathered in bleu-cheese dressing between nibbling at onion rings.
LOL! There ya go!
And make sure you smack your lips and let him know what he's missing!
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What time is it in India?
7:11:rofl
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lol...
Be hard to do the cheeseburger thing...he is in New York.
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just tell him some stories about me and AH cons :D
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Originally posted by Udie
just tell him some stories about me and AH cons :D
umm tell him about AHGOD @ the most recent con.
"smell my finger"
you were there
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There was a woman who was interested in getting a boob job, so she went to her doctor, Dr. Smith and questioned him about implants.
He explained that, before you do anything too serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients.
Every morning when you wake up rub your boobs and say ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me bigger boobies.''
She did this faithfully for weeks and noticed one day that they actually were getting bigger, she was very impressed. One morning she woke up, late for work and very rushed. By the time she got on the bus she realized that she forgot to go through her routine.
So standing on the bus, while rubbing her boobs she says ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me bigger boobies''.
The man standing next to her says, ''You go to Dr. Smith?''
''Yes,'' she said, ''how did you know?''
He replies ''Hickory dickory dock!''
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A doctor at the asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!'' And the inmates complied by standing up.
After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''
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I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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lol Toad...I will pass along thanks.
Did you get my e-mail btw? I need to get a $ amount for all that BBQ stuff. I'll fire you a draft and give you my fed-ex account number in the same letter.
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I have spent way too much time in hospitals healing up.
A good book that is funny but not too difficult... you have to realize that the person is probly either in pain or foggy...
last time I read "Big Trouble"... they made a movie out of it... it was a perfect "hospital book.
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
last time I read "Big Trouble"... they made a movie out of it... it was a perfect "hospital book.
lazs
Author?
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This book will cheer him up...
Good read #1 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0525947647/ref%3Dnosim/erichananoki/104-0075863-1305504)
Or this one....
Good read #2 (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0440508649/ref%3Dnosim/erichananoki/104-0075863-1305504)
:cool:
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www.homestarrunner.com (http://www.homestarrunner.com)
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do strongbad's email...here are a couple funny ones...do them in order
#1 (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail84.html)
#2 (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html)
#3 (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail57.html)
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depending on what he's in for (some have restricted diets), my favorite (and more to the point the favorite of friends in the hospital) is to call a pizza place near the hospital and have a pie delivered (put it and the tip on your card). after living off that nasty grey crap they call food in a hospital, that pizza will make you his best friend ever.
with friends who are closer though, I usually take at least one home-cooked meal per week.
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here are two more-there are different types of humor for different characters.
#1 (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbsings.html)
Theme song (http://www.homestarrunner.com/video.html)
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Curval,
I'm "away from base" right now and it has been a very unusual month for me.
Rumor of War, Fear of Famine, Anger of the Gods, Pestilence, Plague, Flood and other concerns... I suspect I may have fleas as well.
I am watching for a sale on an ECB and I'm stocking your sauces and rubs as I see them come on sale at the grocery. I'll have you set up before you know it.
Customs is your problem. :)
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No worries...just make sure everything packaged is legal. ;)
No rush at all.
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send him a hooker!