Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Twist on October 02, 2003, 04:26:32 AM

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Twist on October 02, 2003, 04:26:32 AM

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce, and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich, " she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon."

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: capt. apathy on October 02, 2003, 04:43:32 AM

LOL,  :rofl

 be careful around guacamole too.

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Curval on October 02, 2003, 05:43:01 AM

ROFLMAO

Oh man...yuck.

My kids have both pooped on me lots of times.  

Fortunately I do not eat that expensive mustard...just the real yellow stuff which is easily distinguishable.

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Gunthr on October 02, 2003, 07:06:30 AM

Watch out for that Ricotta cheese on your shoulder after burping the little guy too!:D

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: ra on October 02, 2003, 07:34:27 AM

I'll be skipping lunch today, thanks fellas.

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Twist on October 02, 2003, 07:36:50 AM

*Burp!*

Your welcome :D

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Modas on October 02, 2003, 07:51:57 AM

LOL, that's a good one.  Thanks!!! :D

"It was not mustard"....  I think that is signature material :D

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Westy on October 02, 2003, 08:52:06 AM

rofl here.  And cringing at the same time....  :)

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Drunky on October 02, 2003, 09:09:28 AM

Everyone in the school library is looking at me cause I've just snorted very, very loudly.

ROFLMAO

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Tarmac on October 02, 2003, 11:27:55 AM

So how'd it taste?

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Curval on October 02, 2003, 11:29:08 AM

Quote

Originally posted by Tarmac
So how'd it taste?

Nutty..according to Austin Powers.

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Twist on October 02, 2003, 06:21:54 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Drunky
Everyone in the school library is looking at me cause I've just snorted very, very loudly.

:rofl

Title: The ham sandwich
Post by: Thorns on October 02, 2003, 06:42:01 PM

I'm a dad of two........cleaning my monitor now.  LOLOLOL :lol :lol

Thorns